gtarman Posted March 13, 2013 So yeah, a semi-saucy thread (you've been warned)...was doing the deed this evening (giggity), put on a condom (safe sex represent)...then the lights went off, fun was had, and the lights came back on...and the condom was nowhere to be seen. We must have looked for a full 20 minutes, literally turned the place upside-down looking, and could not find it. And yeah, she looked there as well Still no sign of it almost an hour and a half later. If it wasn't so shitty and didn't mean a morning after pill, a barrage of tests and a nervous 2 month wait for results it would be the most hilarious thing ever. It still is funny I guess. Just in a serious, shit way But it's making me think twice about who I hook up with, and if it's really worth it...time to stop being a self-degrading compulsive manwhore perhaps. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Halcyon Daze Posted March 13, 2013 They can be hard to retrieve. Do you have access to stirrups and a head-lamp? 7 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xenodimensional Posted March 13, 2013 $5 says it's in the doona cover :-0 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Halcyon Daze Posted March 13, 2013 Oh and don't use washing-up gloves, you need the ones that come up past your elbow lol. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Justin Credible Posted March 13, 2013 Maybe on Big Reds driveway 7 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GoOnThen Posted March 13, 2013 Your lady has a sense of humour. Didn't you wonder why she was laughing when she sent you out to the shops. It is stuck to the back of your head . Cheers Got 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CβL Posted March 13, 2013 Times like these you wish you bought the glow-in-the-dark ones. I reckon she probably pulled it off and ate it, in the hopes of getting a child. (please note, this is a bad-taste joke) 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bogfrog Posted March 13, 2013 ^ Eww I think it was just a lesson leading you to this conculsion: But it's making me think twice about who I hook up with, and if it's really worth it...time to stop being a self-degrading compulsive manwhore perhaps. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shamanistic Posted March 13, 2013 Hahahah, you got quite a chuckle from me. I had a similar thing happen to me when I was a young teen and I ended up finding it on the bottom of one of my shoes, no idea how I got there considering I wasn't wearing any shoes, plus I only walked on the floor not the bed If you do end up finding it I'm sure I wouldn't be the only one who'd be interested in hearing, or maybe I'm just a lone sicko 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darklight Posted March 13, 2013 Times like these you wish you bought the glow-in-the-dark ones. I reckon she probably pulled it off and ate it, in the hopes of getting a child. (please note, this is a bad-taste joke) If this is true, your g/f is an alien and you have way bigger problems than a missing condom 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trichpach Posted March 13, 2013 It has happened to me mate... I feel your pain. In my case, it was, indeed, where you'd expect it be. Lodged up in the pink ether. Very difficult to get it out. Quite dangerous if left in though, so i'd be making sure that it's found! 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quarterflesh Posted March 14, 2013 lol , funny as 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jox Posted March 14, 2013 Man, don't buy the magnum if you ain't magnum 9 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
El Presidente Hillbillios Posted March 14, 2013 stuck to the ceiling? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OPP Posted March 14, 2013 I have a mate that had the same thing happen to him. It turned up a week later inside her Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
paradox Posted March 14, 2013 you wanna hope it isn't jammed up in her uterus.. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
whitewind Posted March 14, 2013 (edited) ...then the lights went off, fun was had, and the lights came back on... Cher gtarman, Je pensais que vous étiez si préoccupé par votre petit problème que je pourrais offrir de l'aide par l'intermédiaire de cette "Lettre Française", mais vous pourriez avoir à étendre sur la partie médiane de la peine un peu si vous voulez vraiment aider à chasser la bête insaisissable vers le bas. Cordialement, WW Edited March 14, 2013 by whitewind 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theuserformallyknownasd00d Posted March 14, 2013 WW is right, one needs more information ;) But if I were you, or rather HER, dig dig dig, maybe dig some more, oh and dig dig dig. If your sure it went on, then dig, or you'll have a sick floosey on your hands! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PositiveHAL Posted March 14, 2013 lol! where else but the coroborree can you come and confide such things good luck finding your lost condom gtarman me thinks thar be buried treasure still locked in the box best get the salad tongs 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bullit Posted March 15, 2013 (edited) hahahahaah awesum!!! yo gtar after 4 feral kids i still cant find mine hahahaha i think mine was clingwrap and rubberband but i love looking for it hahaha funny as! Edited March 15, 2013 by bullit 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zen Peddler Posted March 15, 2013 Clearly she ate it in the dark. When i was a young whippersnipper I was lucky enough to be banging a local chick who'se stepdad took me for a talk and warned me that if i 'laid a hand on her Id be praying for death'. Step dad was a bikie and was a hard dude. her older sisters had been made pregnant by dead beats who had done a runner so he wanted to protect my then girlffiend from the same. Anyway she was baby sitting one night at her sister's plae and i snuck over and we were at it when her parents, sister and numerous other family members came over to surprise her. We had to dress very rapidly and fix our hair, hide the doona, turn on the light and pretend we were watching tv. When they arrived I got up and shook the step dad's hand and tried to be cool. But as the old fella went limp the condom fell off and slid down my pants and I had not realised. So the entire family has come in, turned the lights on, were standing in the room with my then girlfriend sitting on the couch and about five other family members sitting on the opposite wrap around couch. I went to sit down and then I saw in the middle of teh room on the floor the CONDOM! I got up like lightning and basically jumped on it before anyone could see it and then just stood there. They were all saying 'hey why dont you just sit down mate, you dont have to stand on our account' and all this stuff. I replied 'i think id rather stand today.' I couldnt think of a meaningfuil excuse for why i was standing in the middle of the room when everyone else was on teh couchs. they insisted i sit, so i sat down right there on the spot and while talking, picked up the franger and deftly put it in my sock. Near death experience... 11 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
El Presidente Hillbillios Posted April 25, 2013 did you find the slippery little sucker yet? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
etherealdrifter Posted April 25, 2013 did you find the slippery little sucker yet? in certain sir cum stances government bonus aint that bad sometimes....e.g comes in handy for slippery lost rubber bubba stoppers 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
incognito Posted April 25, 2013 Meh it's against out very nature to be monagamous. Keep on waving that polygamous banner dude, a missing danga is not the end of the world. Carl Jung would disagree heatedly with the universal lesson. U just need to find the right danga for you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
