weirdest christmas pressies

[etherealdrifter]

Let's have a cackle - after all 'tis the season of mayhem and frivolities.

I'm sitting here trying to figure out a holiday gift and birthday gift for my petal (there is a week in between - don't those situations annoy ya) and i started to reminisce about past gifts i've received.

There are many especially when you consider the type of gift received and who gave it to you.

I'll kick off

When i was 7, my mother gave me a Steve Austin six million dollar man doll and the album 'Ripper '76

i remember moving steve's bionic arm around and listening to the album and thinking

"Hmmmm, what am i not getting here?"

http://www.ebay.com/itm/1975-Kenner-Steve-Austin-Six-Million-Dollar-Bionic-Man-Action-figure-Lee-Majors-/271347150267?pt=US_Action_Figures&hash=item3f2d8cedbb

http://rateyourmusic.com/release/comp/various_artists_f2/ripper_76/

The following year, my second eldest brother gave me a bowie hunting knife.

i was ecstatic.

The same year dad gave me a left handed baseball mitt - pretty useful because i was never into baseball and i'm right-handed.

lets hear some others

cheers friends

[Nailthesnail]

When I was 13, I remember this so clearly, My dad got me a bike lock for my "bike" that apparently existed 2 years later I get a bike for my birthday and he's like dam I knew that bike lock would come in handy. Fucking horder hahaha my old man is hilarious.

Straight up Cheshire I swear I've seen that before. Must be a Dad thing with presents.

[Sallubrious]

I got a six million dollar man at about the same age. Dad didn't want me have to get one because he reckoned I'd turn into a poof if I was allowed to play with dolls. It was different paradigm back then.

Anyway when I got sick of it (the six million dollar man) I jammed him into the cabin of my little brothers' tonka truck and put some petrol in the back of the truck. Then I sparked it up and rolled it down the driveway it left a trail of fire all the way driveway and then it rolled across the road into a neighbours driveway.

My older brother was saying

We have the technology, we can rebuild him

and we were both pissing ourselves laughing.

Then when it disappeared from veiw we got a bit worried and ran down the driveway to check it out. When we got there the woman across the road was trying to push it away from the garage door that it came to rest on with a straw broom and cursing and carrying on. Then her broom caught on fire and she went into a panic and kicked the whole lot into her fish pond.

We snuck away thinking we might get away with it and my brother said "it's gonna cost a lot more than six million dollars to fix him this time"

Fuck I got into some trouble over that one.

[bogfrog]

It seems already that all the weird present are from dads..

My Pops got me a doozy this year.

(Well it's an early present, even early for solstice, which he celebrates instead for Christmas.)

This big box turned up early one morning..

I opened to find

Everything about it makes me cringe. Cheap made-for-iPad-plastic-lump-of-crap with fake button stickers.

I don't play with music or have any interest in dj'ing, nor have I ever expressed any interest whatsoever in doing either of these things.

But TechnoDad wants his little girl to be a cool dj chick

[gtarman]

^^^ This is one of the (many) things I hate about Christmas...people buying more random crap that nobody needs and more often than not don't even want or have any interest in just for the sake of it. And of course every household in the world has to chop down a tree and drag it into their living room, not to mention that every one of those unwanted and unnecessary junk presents all get their own complement of wasted paper and plastic to be wrapped in, and more for the cards. Don't even get me started on the power consumption of those gigantic bloody light displays. Merry Consumermas everyone

Edited December 20, 2013 by gtarman

[etherealdrifter]

^way to kill some holiday laughs mang

lie down, take the suit off,smoke some cammomile and realise some truths aboout this planet

love ya gman

[bogfrog]

Hmm. Christmas certainly could be better Gman, but I think it will slowly become a bit more sensible and it's nice that people get to feast and be merry. Everyone I have talked to seemed less focused on spending lots of money on gifts this year, I think the world is catching on to the consumerist trickery and just focusing on spending good times with family. How it looks from my slice of the world anyways.

Also,

There are many ways to celebrate a tree without killing it

[Snowfella]

Don't even get me started on the power consumption of those gigantic bloody light displays. Merry Consumermas everyone

That's why those of us that are on the smart side run solar powered lights. Sure they might not be as flash as the plug in type but with the strength of sun down here they generally get enough of a charge through the day to stay on all night.

Had mine for 3 years now and all I've had to do it change batteries in them once, rechargeables are only good for a set amount of cycles so they need to be swapped out with time.

[gtarman]

Sorry Eth, didn't mean to be a negative nelly, prolly should have kept my trap shut

[Sallubrious]

My younger brother gave me a present one year when he was about 6. It was a heavy package and a fair size, so it had me wondering where he got the money to buy it for me and I felt a built guilty because I didn't get anything for him.

When I unwrapped it, it was a volume from an encyclopedia he got from my bookshelf, So I gave him a stack of Mum's womens weekly magazines the next year.

One of my uncles gave his wife a lawnmower for Christmas one year, she left him a few months later.

[simhanada]

One of my uncles gave his wife a lawnmower for Christmas one year, she left him a few months later.

Who got possession of the lawnmower?

[Dreamwalker.]

Merry Consumermas everyone

it is a total con...............most of the stuff I get......I don't want.............I'm trying to ban the whole thing of giving xmas gifts.......trouble is you look so cheap when you haven't got anything for any body and they don't want to leave you out ....so they go and get you stuff....... .........kinda embarrassing.............it was a magical time as a kid...........pine tree scent ........colour lights that would mesmerized you for hours ........and all those presents wrapped under the tree............50% toys/chocolate 50% cloths Christmas should have a negative R rating.....................

Edited October 6, 2014 by Dreamwalker.

[Sallubrious]

Who got possession of the lawnmower?

My Uncle got the mower & he was given permission to sleep with it too.

[bogfrog]

Tonight I noticed the little beady eyes of a Christmas relic peeping at me from a forgotten jumble pile on a shelf.

Probably one of the stranger presents I have been given as an adult

It's Makka Pakka!

 

[coolname]

years ago when we were kids i got given half a packet of coloured chalk from an uncle and auntie of mine. and my sister got a packet of those bendable drinking straws. the funniest thing about that is my uncle and auntie are actually pretty rich. even if i was broke im pretty sure i could afford better presents than that. we still laugh about it sometimes

[Halcyon Daze]

Reminds me of a funny thing on youtube involving a packet of 'FLOAM' for Christmas instead of an Xbox. Wish I could still find it.

Here's a good one, the ending is really funny

 

[Auxin]

It seems already that all the weird present are from dads..

My sister didnt get that memo.

She gave me a box of empty herbal supplement bottles.

See, she knows I like chemistry and chemicals need bottles, so what better than a plastic echinacea jar she probably coughed on with the flu.

Not a gag gift, shes just not the sharpest thing around.

The following year she wanted a power strip with a surge protector for a phone line so I got one and with voluminous quantities of newspaper and tape I turned it into a big teddy bear and wrapped it in christmas wrapping foil. She nearly peed herself unwrapping it when the arm came off.

[Amazonian]

So when I was a kid, well, I still am a kid, but when my age was lower, I use to sneak my step dads hat and wear it out on the street. At the time, I thought it was awesome. It was like a golfers cap sorta thing, like a Volvo drivers hat maybe?!, but anyway, I would always get in trouble for pinching his hat... Now comes the part where a weird Christmas present comes into the story.. A large heavy box appeared under the Christmas tree with my name on it, ( about the size of two slabs of beer). I had been asking for a stereo for Christmas and I was pretty excited as I thought for once I am going to get something I actually asked for. Christmas morning comes and I open my big heavy present only to find it was full of tins of spaghetti, but amongst all those tins of frigg'n spaghetti , was the hat I loved to wear, lol. I was dissapointed at first but now I didn't have to sneak that stupid hat out any more. My mum was a bit of a prankster hey.

[Bigred]

My mum gave me a Billy ray Cyrus tape with achy breaky heart . The worst thing is its like a family joke now .

I believe Christmas has become jaded the only present you need to give or get is LOVE

[incognito]

I used to hate getting socks and undies but this is one gift I'm really crossing my diners for.

I'm looking forward to the feel of new jocks and I rein out of socks so fast.

Ceres that mixer looks like fun! Wish it was mine! My dads never got me a present

But my mum and sisters make up for it they have fantastic taste

I'm not one of the bah humbugs I enjoy Christmas with its plethora of prawns, ham and booze and pumped up kids running apeshit everywhere I'm looking forward to floating around on my sisters pool on some cheap inflateable pool animal pissed as a fart with the rest of the family full of prawns, ham, turkey and booze can't fricken wait!

Oh weirdest present...

Umm Cept for the socks and undies thing nothing that comes to mind. I've led a sheltered life.

Edited December 21, 2013 by incognito

[frozenthunderbolt]

Hmm. Christmas certainly could be better Gman, but I think it will slowly become a bit more sensible and it's nice that people get to feast and be merry. Everyone I have talked to seemed less focused on spending lots of money on gifts this year, I think the world is catching on to the consumerist trickery and just focusing on spending good times with family. How it looks from my slice of the world anyways.

Also,

There are many ways to celebrate a tree without killing it

image.jpg

OOOooooo love your Bonsai!

[etherealdrifter]

Bike lock my older brother wessgaing Everything about it makes me a c9ool dj chick don't even get me started laughs mang smoke some cammomile also rechargeables are only good for a set amount of cycles a few months later it was a magical time as a kid Uncle got it's makkaPakka we still laugh about it sometimes my sister didn't get that the arm came off mum was a bit of a prankster hey! i cept mind life sai.

some weird pressies there tops

[paradox]

The same year dad gave me a left handed baseball mitt - pretty useful because i was never into baseball and i'm right-handed.

you know a right hander wears a baseball mitt on their left hand right? as you have to throw with your right hand.. a left handed baseball mitt would go on the right hand.

my brothers partners parents tend to think in stereotypes. i had dread locks when i was 16, they bought me a bright yellow t shirt with a giant pink peace sign & no war printed in extremely corny fluorescent 'graf' print.. sure, i agree there should be no war. but i was a little offended at the time. it's the thought that counts though right! even if the gift shows they think you're tool..

[etherealdrifter]

you know a right hander wears a baseball mitt on their left hand right? as you have to throw with your right hand.. a left handed baseball mitt would go on the right hand.

haahaa yes, yes......i know that paradox........hence my bemusement. left hander mit ie it went on my right hand and there i am trying to throw the ball back with my right hand with the mit on....full tard came to mind.