The Dr is IN

[sham_man]

I know I'm on a hiding to nothing but here goes. I'm currently putting together an entirely new, original and complete sexual philosophy for the planet. When I say putting it together, I mean it's finished but not organised and it's rather complex so it may take a couple of years before it's publishable. While I'm doing that I thought I'd start a thread here as a sort of an avenue to the real world while I'm putting stuff together. I know it is likely that I'll get flamed by idiots, however I have no evidence that that is likely to happen here so even though it's likely, I'm not expecting it.

The worst that I hope for is that if no one finds it worth exploring then the thread just dies a natural death. However it has a potential to be something rather special.

There's no point trying to talk about my work, it's too complex. Better to let it gradually illumine itself, if anything.

Basically, I have the solution to ALL life's 'problems'. I'm used to rigorous analytical reasoning and complete clarity, so keep that in mind. My speciality is solving the most intractable and discombobulating of relationship problems (you know what I mean).

So if you want any advice about how to eliminate all those things that make you act badly to the one you supposedly love then this is the place to ask...

I will repeat that what I have to say is NEW. So don't expect clichés. Ask anything. btw, this is a world first, one off.

Edited October 24, 2011 by sham_man

[random]

Basically, I have the solution to ALL life's 'problems'.

Delusions of grandeur, perhaps?

While I applaud your intent I find the above statement that you made, very hard to swallow.

Best of luck with your philosophies though.

[Thelema]

does it include acting badly to yourself which is acting badly to one you should love? i.e. self-relationship problems like substance abuse? or is it non-reflexive? if so, give us your advice about substance abuse, dying to hear something non-cliched.

[Psylo]

I think I might have a prostate disease, because I pee so much through the night. I also have a testicle that gives me pain sometimes, and there may be a lump in the scrotum that is not ball. However I am reluctant to go to my local GP to have him feel my testicles, and finger my anus, in the event that I get an erection. Not concerned about the process as such, but I dont want to be known in future as "That kinky big hairy giant" if i go to the same GPs in future for simple stuff. Should I ignore these symptoms, a they have not worsened in over five years, or should I go to a specialist men's heath clinic ?

[sham_man]

Delusions of grandeur, perhaps?

Deluded? that remains to be seen. My ideas do have grandiose dimensions, and I see nothing wrong with that.

does it include acting badly to yourself which is acting badly to one you should love? i.e. self-relationship problems like substance abuse? or is it non-reflexive? if so, give us your advice about substance abuse, dying to hear something non-cliched.

Well of course all problems are centred on the self, so any solution to relationship woes will necessitate individual commitments first before a joint commitment. I rolled the words 'substance abuse' around in my mind for a while and decided that that the substance most abused is a commitment to being honest. All relationships are for growth. Emotional growth. I suppose you had in mind some sort of 'drug' but you'll need to be a bit more specific.

Remember, this is not a battle, if this thread works it could be rather fun. It's not easy. I can't ask for this but I'm going to anyway... trust me until I prove myself untrustworthy.

[Seldom]

^^ most GPs play 9 holes a day bro, you're not that special

sham_man should people really throw their hands in the ai-r if they's a true play-a, or is it ethically wrong to be promiscuous?

[sham_man]

I think I might have a prostate disease, because I pee so much through the night. I also have a testicle that gives me pain sometimes, and there may be a lump in the scrotum that is not ball. However I am reluctant to go to my local GP to have him feel my testicles, and finger my anus, in the event that I get an erection. Not concerned about the process as such, but I dont want to be known in future as "That kinky big hairy giant" if i go to the same GPs in future for simple stuff. Should I ignore these symptoms, a they have not worsened in over five years, or should I go to a specialist men's heath clinic ?

Yes, you should go a a qualified person and get checked out.

From what you say it comes across that your reluctance to having your balls fondled while being simultaneously probed with a latexed digit is due to what we professionals refer to as SPEAR, (spontaneous erection anxiety response).

This is really a very interesting post and if I were giving a live talk I would naturally run with this concept because embarrassment about having a raging boner is one of the maladies of modern society. I wonder how we got to this point sometimes because the phallus has been an item of mystical power for thousands of years.from the Siva Lingas all over India, to Obelisks, from the Japanese festival of the penis to the begourded New Guinea tribesmen.

The problem is in fact that you care what other people think. People are going to think what they want anyway and running your life based on what other people may or may not think is a certain track to a wasted life. The rascal behind this is the ego or what the Indians refer to as the Apsmara, that's the little man/baby underneath Siva's foot

The Phallus is a central plank (no pun intended) in my philosophy due to it being akin to a VU meter for the mind and therefore being an important tool (no pun etc) to unlock the chimeric nature of sexual thoughts which are rarely examined and understood.

[sham_man]

@Psylo Dread Now that I think about it some more, I'd like to point out that it makes no difference if you are a raging queen who jacks of to your proctologist fantasies or whether the idea of a finger up your 'arris would be the most unerotic thought you could imagine. Or if the latter, you are trying to horrify yourself by imagining your worst fear coming true. It matters not because I can assure you that even if the former was the case, there is no way that you are going to spontaneously find yourself harder than Chinese arithmetic in the clinical environs of a doctors office.

But lets be clear, the fear is not that they'll think anything particular of you is it, it's actually a fear of what the hard on would be saying, in other words it's a fear generated by your own mind it's not to do with what they think it's what you think. It's a subtle point. Therefore even if you never go and get checked and end up dying because of it, it would not make any difference because the fear is generated entirely in your own mind. Not going and avoiding the situation is irrelevant. In this way you'd be better off if you went down then and your worst nightmare came true because then you'd see that your fear was just a tempest in a thimble.

Look at Clinton, he could not reveal his intern fantasies to Hilary because he would be too scared, I mean what would she think of him. But look what happened.

This is the essence of Bill Clinton's predicament. It's not that he got his dick sucked by a nobody, unlike say other famous presidents who have more class, not it's not that at all. It's the subliminal image that people are invited to have of Clinton with a raging boner. This is the essence of the fear of the boner. This is why Fred Nile's office is so quick to hose down suggestions that someone was looking at porn sites on the government computers. It's not that they were looking at porn sites per se, it's the suggestion that these fine citizens had a boner.

Now what is it about boners that seem to strike such fear and loathing into people. It's not the boner it's the thought behind the boner. This thought is usually kept locked away in the Black Bag. It is these very thoughts that otherwise intimate couples cannot share with each other that is the very root of the problem. If Hilary Clinton was not such a ball breaker she and Bill could have played with his little intern fantasies while they themselves were making love. But no, they, like most people cannot reveal this side of themselves. Why? because people have become too fucking serious.

The more you investigate the more convoluted and complex it gets, but my philosophy has mapped a path through the labyrinthine maze of the mind.

[Psylo]

Being ball-fondled, having a finger in my anus and the onset of erections are nothing new. My primary concern is that I will get an erection in the presence of this particular doctor, not any other doctor. I have no such reservations about a random medico probing my prostate.

And truth be told, it concerns me a bit that I might be told I have cancer. Doctor Shams, can you validate my life theory that if one is not formally diagnosed with an illness, then he does not in fact hve an illness ? Psycholigically it's hard to beat something with the power of positive thinking when medical peple keep telling you that youre in some serious trouble.

For much of my life many injuries & illnesses have disappeared through the power of positive thinking. Although my self-diagnosed plantar fascitis has been with me for a year now, and that's not going away either. Maybe my self-healing mojo has expired.

Discuss.

[sham_man]

sham_man should people really throw their hands in the ai-r if they's a true play-a, or is it ethically wrong to be promiscuous?

 

Promiscuity is not an ethical problem at all. Promiscuity is not the way to go but nothing to do with ethics, it's to do with common sense. It's about means and ends. Where you want to go and how you intend to get there. For a relationship to work then the sex must be something special and the longer a relationship goes on the better the sex should get. This is not the experience of anyone I know but the assumption that sex with ones partner will inevitably become stale after two months or two years is a fallacy.

All relationships that I see appear to be two individual people living together. Just because they breed does not make the relationship worthwhile. There's nothing particularly clever about having babies. In fact I fail to see how two people who are themselves emotional cripples are qualified to spawn.

Humans beings have come to a crossroads in evolution. It's time to divorce ourselves from the animalistic nature of our sexual beings and become fully human. Otherwise all that will happen is you'll get your dick sucked in the White House and that's pretty lame if you ask me.

The foremost secret about good sex in a continually growing relationship is to remove all causes of anxiety. This is not a bad life plan either. If you studiously work on removing anxiety then you'll be more likely to end up where you want to be. And as far as I can ascertain people just want to be happy. However rather than remove anxiety it's as if anxiety has become such an accepted part of life that people behave in a way as to imply they have given up on eradicating anxiety. And it's not even about eradicating anxiety it more about the knowledge that a life filled with anxiety is not a life worth living so at least you know what the goal is. Because we really want is peace of mind.

My philosophy tackles all the causes of anxiety, and as I said in the first post, it tackles even those problems that appear to be intractable. The poison of the paradox is that people do not seem to realise that it is in the paradoxes where one finds the most worthwhile answers.

The premise of your query seems to be about promiscuity but it's quality not quantity that really matters.

Why we are at a crossroads in the evolution of humanity is because due to the interweb the world has become a global village where everyone thinks as one. The internet is erasing history and turning sex into a sad caricature of itself and now an entire generation of women are losing their identity as women and men are becoming weak as piss.

But fear not, I have all the answers if anyone happens to be interested. Meanwhile I'll continue to try and get it all organised.

[Ethos]

I have had a lump on my left testicle since I can remember its fairly big considering if it wasn't attached to my left testicle it would probably be roughly the size of my right testicle.

It is squishy like a fluid filled water balloon, when I performed a flashlight test I could see through the lump.

I should probably get it checked but never find myself in the position where I want to walk in to a clinic and say "hey I have a lump on one of my nuts check it out?". Also like Psylo I don't really like the idea of a 'proffesional' sticking his finger up my bum or lubing up my balls and ultrasounding them.

And truth be told, it concerns me a bit that I might be told I have cancer. Doctor Shams, can you validate my life theory that if one is not formally diagnosed with an illness, then he does not in fact hve an illness ? Psycholigically it's hard to beat something with the power of positive thinking when medical peple keep telling you that youre in some serious trouble.

This is a good point I think if I did get checked and they told me I had cancer I think the stress of having to go through the treatment and social proccess of everyone I know and care about having to see me going through that proccess would kill me more emotionally, then if the cancer was to kill me when I'm an old kodger when I've had children and lived a life.

A friend of mine had testicular cancer and had to have his left testicle removed and because of this cannot concieve, I don't think I could live a fullfilling life without bringing at least one offspring in to the world.

[Thelema]

OK still waiting to hear something of use; like most Drs, Doctor Sham has ignored my request for a solution to substance abuse. No, commitment to honesty is not a substance. That's ridiculous. So run with this, I'm talking about alcohol substance dependence. What does your theory say about solving this malady in general terms? I'm not interested in explanations, just resolutions or solution - centred narratives. Thanks.

Edited October 24, 2011 by Thelema

[Rabaelthazar]

Personally, doc, I'd rather have you offer a little overview of your philosophy so we can discuss it from there. As it stands, you've come to the forums and made 5 posts (4 of which are in this thread and the other which was resurrecting an oldish thread) and told us you have a theory which will cure all human problems (I might be misquoting you there) without actually giving us any info about it.

If we must play this game, then here's my situation:

When I start to fall asleep, I often have visions of an erotic nature. That's fine when I'm in bed, as I can fondle myself as I fall to sleep without any problems. The issue comes when I'm in work meetings that involve powerpoint presentations as I tend to nod off due to the utterly boring nature of listening to somebody talk over a slide show. When I nod off, I often get the erotic visions and start to harden up. Knowing I can't fondle myself, I snap to attention but then spend the whole of the rest of the meeting day dreaming about kissing vaginas. I remain somewhat hard and don't take in any of the work information I'm supposed to.

Now... share a couple of key points from your theory, please.

[tripsis]

I have had a lump on my left testicle since I can remember its fairly big considering if it wasn't attached to my left testicle it would probably be roughly the size of my right testicle.

It is squishy like a fluid filled water balloon, when I performed a flashlight test I could see through the lump.

It's most likely a hydrocele.

[tipz]

Edited October 24, 2011 by tipz

[sham_man]

Being ball-fondled, having a finger in my anus and the onset of erections are nothing new. My primary concern is that I will get an erection in the presence of this particular doctor, not any other doctor. I have no such reservations about a random medico probing my prostate.

And truth be told, it concerns me a bit that I might be told I have cancer. Doctor Shams, can you validate my life theory that if one is not formally diagnosed with an illness, then he does not in fact hve an illness ? Psycholigically it's hard to beat something with the power of positive thinking when medical peple keep telling you that youre in some serious trouble.

For much of my life many injuries & illnesses have disappeared through the power of positive thinking. Although my self-diagnosed plantar fascitis has been with me for a year now, and that's not going away either. Maybe my self-healing mojo has expired.

Discuss.

 

How can you say past illnesses have disappeared due to positive thinking. You cannot. So the statement is irrelevant. If that is what you wish to believe then it is like a religious belief, it can be neither proved nor disproved, as such I will not argue the point. For my part I do not wish to believe anything. I wish to understand.

Positive thinking is fatally flawed. Because however true the positive thinking is, the negative thinking that follows is equally true. We do not want positive thinking or negative thinking. We want accurate thinking. So if you have cancer what's the worst thing that can happen? You die. Well that's going to happen sooner or later. All you or anyone can do is live in the present moment and in the present moment you are continuously presented with choices. There is nothing to do except make the best choice you can when it's presented.

If what you say is true then the simple fact is that you can see that you are not decreasing your anxiety by not getting tested so there really is no benefit to putting off the testing. Whatever the diagnoses you will clearly be better off making the right choice now and then dealing with whatever other choices arrive when they do. However I must say that this would already be obvious to you would it not?

Edited October 24, 2011 by sham_man

[sham_man]

OK still waiting to hear something of use..

 

As am I Thelema. I refer you to the last sentence of my first paragraph "I suppose you had in mind some sort of 'drug' but you'll need to be a bit more specific"

What precisely is the problem. What can I possibly say based on the information you have given me so far? I do not know what the 'substance' is nor do I have any idea what the relative term 'abuse' means in your case. If you can formulate a clear question then I may perhaps give you a worthy answer. But to get back to your earlier point, yes relationship does begin with oneself.

[Ethos]

I have come in to contact with many a chest infection from past MJ smoking through pipes shared with others and they also succomb to the same infection which they were prescribed antibiotics for, me using rest and recovery put my self past the horrible coughing up phlegm, blocked nose and sore throat t a point where everyone of my friends were still sick and yet I could continue to smoke without coughing my lungs up while they were still taking antibiotics and not smoking.

This is my reasoning for thinking that if one is not formally diagnosed with an illness, then he does not in fact have an illness.

plus everytime I have been prescribed something I end up with half of the medication left over because I have never really felt a healing effect with prescribed meds so by the time I've taken/used it 3 or 4 times it is pointless to continue medicating.

[Ethos]

Quote

I have had a lump on my left testicle since I can remember its fairly big considering if it wasn't attached to my left testicle it would probably be roughly the size of my right testicle.

It is squishy like a fluid filled water balloon, when I performed a flashlight test I could see through the lump.

It's most likely a hydrocele.

 

and that is what I come too either way i'm not getting it checked unless it starts hurting or getting bigger/ turning colour

[sham_man]

Personally, doc, I'd rather have you offer a little overview of your philosophy so we can discuss it from there. As it stands, you've come to the forums and made 5 posts (4 of which are in this thread and the other which was resurrecting an oldish thread) and told us you have a theory which will cure all human problems (I might be misquoting you there) without actually giving us any info about it.

If we must play this game, then here's my situation:

When I start to fall asleep, I often have visions of an erotic nature. That's fine when I'm in bed, as I can fondle myself as I fall to sleep without any problems. The issue comes when I'm in work meetings that involve powerpoint presentations as I tend to nod off due to the utterly boring nature of listening to somebody talk over a slide show. When I nod off, I often get the erotic visions and start to harden up. Knowing I can't fondle myself, I snap to attention but then spend the whole of the rest of the meeting day dreaming about kissing vaginas. I remain somewhat hard and don't take in any of the work information I'm supposed to.

Now... share a couple of key points from your theory, please.

 

It's not a game. As I said at the beginning, all I ask is that you trust me until I prove myself to be untrustworthy. That's fair.

As for your question, it's a fabulous question, right up my alley and gives me an excellent jumping off point which is what I wanted. I will answer this fully tomorrow, It's just triggered an avalanche of things to say but I don't want to swamp you in a torrent of words so I need to give this more thought to keep it focussed.

[random]

It's not a game. As I said at the beginning, all I ask is that you trust me until I prove myself to be untrustworthy. That's fair

*snorts* With a name like sham_man, you inspire confidence and trust, yes, yes, you do.

Trust is earnt, never given away like an infectious disease.

Surely you can't be serious?

Either way i'm still waiting for you to offer us your solutions to the worlds problems, oh yes, yes I am.

[Thelema]

as i said in my previous post, the substance-dependence I am referring to is alcoholism. I hope your proscriptive remedies are better than your reading skills!

I'll say it again in case you only read the first and last sentence, which is what most Drs do:

So run with this, I'm talking about alcohol substance dependence. What does your theory say about solving this malady in general terms? I'm not interested in explanations, just resolutions or solution - centred narratives. Thanks.

Edited October 24, 2011 by Thelema

[sham_man]

as i said in my previous post, the substance-dependence I am referring to is alcoholism. I hope your proscriptive remedies are better than your reading skills!

I'll say it again in case you only read the first and last sentence, which is what most Drs do:

 

If you want to fix your alcohol problem then my advice would be to stop drinking. I can't tell you how to achieve this because I know nothing about you, your environment, or your particular circumstances. Not knowing anything about you I have no idea what the underlying cause could be, because alcohol addiction is only a symptom of a deeper problem.

[Rabaelthazar]

I know I'm on a hiding to nothing but here goes. I'm currently putting together an entirely new, original and complete sexual philosophy for the planet. When I say putting it together, I mean it's finished but not organised and it's rather complex so it may take a couple of years before it's publishable. While I'm doing that I thought I'd start a thread here as a sort of an avenue to the real world while I'm putting stuff together. I know it is likely that I'll get flamed by idiots, however I have no evidence that that is likely to happen here so even though it's likely, I'm not expecting it.

The worst that I hope for is that if no one finds it worth exploring then the thread just dies a natural death. However it has a potential to be something rather special.

There's no point trying to talk about my work, it's too complex. Better to let it gradually illumine itself, if anything.

Basically, I have the solution to ALL life's 'problems'. I'm used to rigorous analytical reasoning and complete clarity, so keep that in mind. My speciality is solving the most intractable and discombobulating of relationship problems (you know what I mean).

So if you want any advice about how to eliminate all those things that make you act badly to the one you supposedly love then this is the place to ask...

I will repeat that what I have to say is NEW. So don't expect clichés. Ask anything. btw, this is a world first, one off.

 

Haven't heard anything new so far.

I'm not writing you off just yet, but seriously.... you have the solution to all life's problems and your advice to Thelema in regards to alcohol abuse is "Stop drinking"?

I'm still keen to hear your take on my situation, but from what I've read so far I'm not convinced that you'll have anything interesting to say.

[santiago]

why are you here to help us sham_man? am i doing something wrong or would you just like to go fishing? never been much of a fisherman myself even though i grew up with the water. Do you like water? I know you like water.......but what has water have to do with sex you ask ! fluid is fluid man, either you are or you are not, just like you are either male or female, my guess would be female. i give you guts shammy for putting it out there, the audience depicts you have some addiction, are off your chops right now, are truly enlightened and have a gift or maybe your just another lost soul looking for comfort. we are here sham....why not ask us some questions, are you afraid of our answers.