sham_man

Let's begin again. I am preparing my work on my website which will take a couple of years. I'm not going to be able to sum it up in a sentence for you here. My special expertise is, as I said to do with the sexual philosophy of relationships and the seemingly intractable concomitant problems. if you wish to engage me on this subject, you may do so. Otherwise, as I said in my first post, let the thread die.

If you want to fix your alcohol problem then my advice would be to stop drinking. I can't tell you how to achieve this because I know nothing about you, your environment, or your particular circumstances. Not knowing anything about you I have no idea what the underlying cause could be, because alcohol addiction is only a symptom of a deeper problem.

It's not a game. As I said at the beginning, all I ask is that you trust me until I prove myself to be untrustworthy. That's fair. As for your question, it's a fabulous question, right up my alley and gives me an excellent jumping off point which is what I wanted. I will answer this fully tomorrow, It's just triggered an avalanche of things to say but I don't want to swamp you in a torrent of words so I need to give this more thought to keep it focussed.

As am I Thelema. I refer you to the last sentence of my first paragraph "I suppose you had in mind some sort of 'drug' but you'll need to be a bit more specific" What precisely is the problem. What can I possibly say based on the information you have given me so far? I do not know what the 'substance' is nor do I have any idea what the relative term 'abuse' means in your case. If you can formulate a clear question then I may perhaps give you a worthy answer. But to get back to your earlier point, yes relationship does begin with oneself.

How can you say past illnesses have disappeared due to positive thinking. You cannot. So the statement is irrelevant. If that is what you wish to believe then it is like a religious belief, it can be neither proved nor disproved, as such I will not argue the point. For my part I do not wish to believe anything. I wish to understand. Positive thinking is fatally flawed. Because however true the positive thinking is, the negative thinking that follows is equally true. We do not want positive thinking or negative thinking. We want accurate thinking. So if you have cancer what's the worst thing that can happen? You die. Well that's going to happen sooner or later. All you or anyone can do is live in the present moment and in the present moment you are continuously presented with choices. There is nothing to do except make the best choice you can when it's presented. If what you say is true then the simple fact is that you can see that you are not decreasing your anxiety by not getting tested so there really is no benefit to putting off the testing. Whatever the diagnoses you will clearly be better off making the right choice now and then dealing with whatever other choices arrive when they do. However I must say that this would already be obvious to you would it not?

Promiscuity is not an ethical problem at all. Promiscuity is not the way to go but nothing to do with ethics, it's to do with common sense. It's about means and ends. Where you want to go and how you intend to get there. For a relationship to work then the sex must be something special and the longer a relationship goes on the better the sex should get. This is not the experience of anyone I know but the assumption that sex with ones partner will inevitably become stale after two months or two years is a fallacy. All relationships that I see appear to be two individual people living together. Just because they breed does not make the relationship worthwhile. There's nothing particularly clever about having babies. In fact I fail to see how two people who are themselves emotional cripples are qualified to spawn. Humans beings have come to a crossroads in evolution. It's time to divorce ourselves from the animalistic nature of our sexual beings and become fully human. Otherwise all that will happen is you'll get your dick sucked in the White House and that's pretty lame if you ask me. The foremost secret about good sex in a continually growing relationship is to remove all causes of anxiety. This is not a bad life plan either. If you studiously work on removing anxiety then you'll be more likely to end up where you want to be. And as far as I can ascertain people just want to be happy. However rather than remove anxiety it's as if anxiety has become such an accepted part of life that people behave in a way as to imply they have given up on eradicating anxiety. And it's not even about eradicating anxiety it more about the knowledge that a life filled with anxiety is not a life worth living so at least you know what the goal is. Because we really want is peace of mind. My philosophy tackles all the causes of anxiety, and as I said in the first post, it tackles even those problems that appear to be intractable. The poison of the paradox is that people do not seem to realise that it is in the paradoxes where one finds the most worthwhile answers. The premise of your query seems to be about promiscuity but it's quality not quantity that really matters. Why we are at a crossroads in the evolution of humanity is because due to the interweb the world has become a global village where everyone thinks as one. The internet is erasing history and turning sex into a sad caricature of itself and now an entire generation of women are losing their identity as women and men are becoming weak as piss. But fear not, I have all the answers if anyone happens to be interested. Meanwhile I'll continue to try and get it all organised.

@Psylo Dread Now that I think about it some more, I'd like to point out that it makes no difference if you are a raging queen who jacks of to your proctologist fantasies or whether the idea of a finger up your 'arris would be the most unerotic thought you could imagine. Or if the latter, you are trying to horrify yourself by imagining your worst fear coming true. It matters not because I can assure you that even if the former was the case, there is no way that you are going to spontaneously find yourself harder than Chinese arithmetic in the clinical environs of a doctors office. But lets be clear, the fear is not that they'll think anything particular of you is it, it's actually a fear of what the hard on would be saying, in other words it's a fear generated by your own mind it's not to do with what they think it's what you think. It's a subtle point. Therefore even if you never go and get checked and end up dying because of it, it would not make any difference because the fear is generated entirely in your own mind. Not going and avoiding the situation is irrelevant. In this way you'd be better off if you went down then and your worst nightmare came true because then you'd see that your fear was just a tempest in a thimble. Look at Clinton, he could not reveal his intern fantasies to Hilary because he would be too scared, I mean what would she think of him. But look what happened. This is the essence of Bill Clinton's predicament. It's not that he got his dick sucked by a nobody, unlike say other famous presidents who have more class, not it's not that at all. It's the subliminal image that people are invited to have of Clinton with a raging boner. This is the essence of the fear of the boner. This is why Fred Nile's office is so quick to hose down suggestions that someone was looking at porn sites on the government computers. It's not that they were looking at porn sites per se, it's the suggestion that these fine citizens had a boner. Now what is it about boners that seem to strike such fear and loathing into people. It's not the boner it's the thought behind the boner. This thought is usually kept locked away in the Black Bag. It is these very thoughts that otherwise intimate couples cannot share with each other that is the very root of the problem. If Hilary Clinton was not such a ball breaker she and Bill could have played with his little intern fantasies while they themselves were making love. But no, they, like most people cannot reveal this side of themselves. Why? because people have become too fucking serious. The more you investigate the more convoluted and complex it gets, but my philosophy has mapped a path through the labyrinthine maze of the mind.

Yes, you should go a a qualified person and get checked out. From what you say it comes across that your reluctance to having your balls fondled while being simultaneously probed with a latexed digit is due to what we professionals refer to as SPEAR, (spontaneous erection anxiety response). This is really a very interesting post and if I were giving a live talk I would naturally run with this concept because embarrassment about having a raging boner is one of the maladies of modern society. I wonder how we got to this point sometimes because the phallus has been an item of mystical power for thousands of years.from the Siva Lingas all over India, to Obelisks, from the Japanese festival of the penis to the begourded New Guinea tribesmen. The problem is in fact that you care what other people think. People are going to think what they want anyway and running your life based on what other people may or may not think is a certain track to a wasted life. The rascal behind this is the ego or what the Indians refer to as the Apsmara, that's the little man/baby underneath Siva's foot The Phallus is a central plank (no pun intended) in my philosophy due to it being akin to a VU meter for the mind and therefore being an important tool (no pun etc) to unlock the chimeric nature of sexual thoughts which are rarely examined and understood.

Deluded? that remains to be seen. My ideas do have grandiose dimensions, and I see nothing wrong with that. Well of course all problems are centred on the self, so any solution to relationship woes will necessitate individual commitments first before a joint commitment. I rolled the words 'substance abuse' around in my mind for a while and decided that that the substance most abused is a commitment to being honest. All relationships are for growth. Emotional growth. I suppose you had in mind some sort of 'drug' but you'll need to be a bit more specific. Remember, this is not a battle, if this thread works it could be rather fun. It's not easy. I can't ask for this but I'm going to anyway... trust me until I prove myself untrustworthy.

I know I'm on a hiding to nothing but here goes. I'm currently putting together an entirely new, original and complete sexual philosophy for the planet. When I say putting it together, I mean it's finished but not organised and it's rather complex so it may take a couple of years before it's publishable. While I'm doing that I thought I'd start a thread here as a sort of an avenue to the real world while I'm putting stuff together. I know it is likely that I'll get flamed by idiots, however I have no evidence that that is likely to happen here so even though it's likely, I'm not expecting it. The worst that I hope for is that if no one finds it worth exploring then the thread just dies a natural death. However it has a potential to be something rather special. There's no point trying to talk about my work, it's too complex. Better to let it gradually illumine itself, if anything. Basically, I have the solution to ALL life's 'problems'. I'm used to rigorous analytical reasoning and complete clarity, so keep that in mind. My speciality is solving the most intractable and discombobulating of relationship problems (you know what I mean). So if you want any advice about how to eliminate all those things that make you act badly to the one you supposedly love then this is the place to ask... I will repeat that what I have to say is NEW. So don't expect clichés. Ask anything. btw, this is a world first, one off.

I'd put my money on Santiago. Being a student of life the title of the thread is too obviously meant to be precisely what it seems. Oh btw, hi chaps and chapesses, first post, yay. I would certainly recommend to sample some of the alkaloids that are produced by some Aussie Acacia species.