How to deal with nosy neighbours

[Zen Peddler]

I have these neighbours that if your in the backyard they come out and watch what your doing all the time - pretend there going to the bin or hide badly behind trees and watch you. My mum was on our back deck and she counted them out there in 20 minutes 6 times. They drive past and stare in our driveway and actually stop to see whose car is there and make comments about what time I left and returned from work. The other neighbours said they were a bit funny - but this cant be normal behaviour.

Annoying thing is I cant put anything up to block their view at the moment because we have some plumbing work to be done in the area and then behind that and between their places and ours is my vegie patch and I dont want to block the arvo sun.

Ive been off work since jan 10 sick and they keep making comments about not working (I didnt tell them, they just saw my car at home).

I was building something in the backyard and I reckon they both were outside the entire time watching me - like all day three saturdays in a row.

I live semi rural so its actually hard to keep an eye on each other unless you really try or hang around the fence line all day...

Edited February 5, 2012 by Zen Peddler BlueGreenie

[Psylo]

This calls for regular displays of nudity

[LokStok]

its quite obvious that your under survieillance by ASIO

[curaezipirid]

Neighbouring is always dreary

[naja naja]

psytrance music or classical music turned up obscenely loud seems to work wonders for me, just pick the appropriate music to piss that person off the most. Handy loviong classical and doof doof, can piss young people off with the classical and oldies off with the doof doof.

If I'm feeling really mean I put dubstep on, which I aknowledge sounds like a jumbled pile of crap, but I still love anyways. I am sure this would piss 99.9% of people off

[naja naja]

oh yeah, and psilo dreads idea is tops me thinks. Give em a good show of wrinkly ball sack, I know I'd stop watching

[Darklight]

Opera. Something dramatic and horrible like Wagner, if you can stand it. Used to work for me when my former neighbours used to stand about ten foot away from my kitchen and have hideous high volume domestics for hours. Put the music machine close to the fence

After the Wagner started they learned to take them down the back

[niggles]

Maybe you could get out there with a mirror and a deck chair and spend the afternoon blinding them..

[Goldtop]

Yea niggles is onto something. Let them know you can see them, maybe theyll fuck off. Or at the least go inside and stare, i think its just the kind of people they are...fuckwits, ive got a fair few neighbours like that in my street. Mirrors, laser lights, eggs whatever you cant get your hands on to let em know, leave us the fuck alone.

[Belching]

You can't control what other people think about you. Live your life and let them get what enjoyment out of it they can. They clearly have dull lives. Passive aggressive behaviour will probably just make them more interested.

I attract a bit of attention because I'm a night shift worker - pruning and weeding at 1am draws some glances. If it gives someone else something to talk about, good for them.

[Goldtop]

It can get on your nerves though, every time you or ya family is out doing something, some motherfuckers out there tryna see what. I understand theyve got nothing better to do, and i dont condone vandalism, aggression or anything like that. But a lil bit of a sign to let em know, stop cunt!

[CβL]

I would personally just try to befriend them. If you can't trust your neighbours, then what good is calling that house a home?

I don't mean to cause offense, but do you think they might think you look funny? In which case, they need to know you before they can cast aside their prejudiced assumptions.

I know it's hard, but the strange thing is that sometimes the people who are most antagonistic to you become your best friends. My very first friend kicked me in the stomach and winded me (before we were friends), and my mother (whose wisdom seems to have evaporated) told me that the best way to sort him out was to invite him over and try and be friends. Lo and behold, it worked like a charm and we became best friends.

[FancyPants]

That's creepy. I second giving them the pair of hairy prunes. Combine with the mirror idea et voila! No mo pesky neighbours.

[niggles]

I totally agree that befriending is the best option.. take them a nice cactus cutting as a gift or something.. try and get them to love the plants

however if they are freaky and weird and want to stalk you, nicely positioned mirrors could be fun.

[etherealdrifter]

haahaa good stuff moonbeanie.

my petal and i often feel like we are a tv channel for the nosyneighbours...........fuck knows why

i go nude..........they look more

i play archaic macedonian music from the 1940's that sounds like cats being skinned.......they get closer

i scream insane gibberrish at the sky while dancing in my shortshorts.........they go quiet(obviously filming now the cunts)

>>theatre of life for the masses isn't such a bad thing...........make sure you put beartraps out for those nice,pertyplants of yours and feel good knowing that your normal activity is bigger than Texas for them

>>some people are so small

lmao

[chnt]

the OP's story weirded me the fuck out.

i'm already reclusive enough, so lucky i dont have neighbours like that.

all the best zen

[Bush Turkey]

invite them over for a game of yahtzee!

[Distracted]

I know when my neighbours go to and from work because I've spent lots of time outside and like listening, certainly wouldn't tell them I know though cause that would be creepy and they'd probably expect i'm gonna try and rob their house when they're gone.

I've noticed one of my neighbours watching me sometimes, they keep their cans and bottles by the gap in the fence where they look though and sometimes they bump it

Personally I second the nudist approach, pick weeds without bending your knees while naked etc.

The other longterm option would be to grow some thick trees/hedges or something to obscure their view.

[Zen Peddler]

Thanks for the feedback. ive tried to befriend them initially but they are fairly hard work conversation-wise. I either get the same story again and again or I get awkwardness and purely odd responses to things that I dont know how to handle.

My wife just ignores them or waves but im starting to get the shits. Every movement I make outside and we live in a secluded place so it takes great effort - you turn around and one of them are there. As an example. I walk outside and grab my wife's arse. I know full well and I am correct that when I turn around the neighbour will be standing near her bin watching me and gawking in. ANother time Im in the shower and I see her out the front looking in the place and ive left the bathroom door open so she could see me. Another example. Every day of the holidays the woman yells out to my wife '9 days to the end of holidays' - '8 days to the end of holidays'. thanks for the reminder!

Every time I have a sickie or I go to work late they make a comment to me later. If I bring home takeaway they make a comment. Hell I almost feel like asking them for their mobile number so when i take a shit I can let them know.

A visitor comes and they are both their sticking their heads around bushes. My sister is like 'who is that and what are they doing? Do they think we cant see them?'

Worse thing is my dog doesnt like them because they hide and act strangely. So everytime she goes out without fail she will be barking in ten sconds because they will both be standing somewhere within 2 metres of our fence line despite the fact we all live on half acre blocks.

The thing is im not even that interesting a guy. I do some gardening, I keep the vegie patch going, I go to work, I go out and come home. I have the odd visitor but not all the time. I sit outside sometimes and have a beer or a smoke but I dont do it all the time. I mean other than the brass orchestra that I let reherse in my backyard at 3am every Tuesday im pretty average really.

ts not so much I care what they think because I couldnt give a shit. Its more that I just want to live in privacy. i thnik im just gonna go buy a shit load of these pittosturms and blocke them the fuck out...

Edited February 6, 2012 by Zen Peddler BlueGreenie

[Zen Peddler]

This calls for regular displays of nudity

 

Man you made me laugh dude - but I reckon they'd just stand there and keep staring

[niggles]

That doesnt sound like a satisfactory situation.

Have you tried the 'plea for sanity' approach?

Either write to them or approach them in a friendly manner, and explain what you have to us... that you are a very private person and you find it uncomfortable to be watched all the time. Could they please give you a break?

If that doesnt work then shit i guess the gloves come off.

[Sallubrious]

This will sound a bit strange to most people, but I've employed some devices that are designed to repel pricks like that.

The idea is based around the concept of a little known feng shui technique where sha chi is directed at the area where the voyeurism (lets face it there is some weird gratification happening here that could be compensation or stimulation for a fucked up sex life) is originating from.

The technique can be referred to as feng shui attack.

The idea is to place a device to direct chi in a straight line at the target which will give them a general feeling of unease whenever they are in that area. It has been used for commercial buildings in Asia in an attempt to weaken a competitor.

An excellent device to achieve this is a cannon, the bigger the better. One public example is deployed outside the boustead building in Kuala Lumpur.

Even if they don't believe in feng shui they will be intimidated by the presence of a cannon pointing in their direction, symbols act on the subconscious and cannons are just intimidating so they will fell uneasy whenever they are in that area and tend not hang out there anymore.

This is really a last resort as such techniques can be retaliated against and drain the energy from both parties.

Most times it is better to block the sha chi with a device known as Shih-Kan-Tang which is stone tablet resembling a gravestone that has animal figures and Chinese writing carved on it. The writing usually says something like "This mountain dares defy" or "This stone dares to resist" if written in English these words have great subconscious impact and will fuck with their heads even when they aren't looking at them.

If it looks enough like a gravestone most people will just feel uneasy around it and fuck off.

[Bush Turkey]

id be ringing crime stoppers and reporting a "peeping tom"

[Zen Peddler]

An excellent device to achieve this is a cannon, the bigger the better.

tooo funny!!!! Imagine that.

My dog bit the guy three times in a month and we were all wondering how someone manages to get bitten through a fence when they can just move back out of range. Mum thought it was attention seeking behaviour. I felt terribvle the first time, awekward the second time and actually pissed off the third time. Sure my dog doesnt like you but if you walked around normally she wouldnt associate you with creepy, hidey burglar type.

I think the feng shui idea has real merit. And i might be able to get something like that near work so thanks!

the other neighbours dont say much other than 'be careful around them' and 'their a bit funny'.

[Zen Peddler]

And perhaps one of these:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rTRwqw4WssI/TYE-hP1G_rI/AAAAAAAAaRA/cxuTIaH6oBM/s1600/kilt%2Bthong.jpg