Be civil or leave

[Evil Genius]

Just treat your fellow members with Respect! How is that hard to understand? Thats what parents teach their children in kindergarten! I dont feel very respected when someone calls me a cunt and i really dont want to be treated like that. Most people here havent been growing up playing in the sandpit with each other so treat everyone like you´d treat some random person on the street. Or in the bus, whatever. Do you call the waitress in the cafeteria a cunt too? Treat the people here like you would treat your friends. And if you are really so lucky to have such a special dynamic between relatives like your mom or your girlfriend that you can call them a cunt or whatever it is, then you can consider yourself lucky that she is taking it with humour but dont expect everyone else to come from the same place too, you know? I agree there are some situations when you can say pretty nasty things to a girlfriend; in the bedroom. But that should be it. And this also only works if you treat her with the utmost respect in the rest of your life. Or what do you think would your gf say when you wake up beside her in the early morning telling her deadserious in the face what a stinky skanky hoe she is? I have serious problems to believe she would enjoy that. Or find that anyhow funny. No matter how much she might have liked it the night before when you two were in bed having dirty talk. Or whatever it is you do when you call her nasty things. Of course i just used an overly drastic example to point out that it depends on the context if a word is acceptable or not. The context is frigging ESSENTIAL! This is first class School of social dynamics. I dont care if people say the word fuck for example. Actually, i couldnt care less if someone says that his fucking car broke down. But dont use it to tell someone what a fucking moron or asshole he is because nobody has the right to attack people here only because he has more posts, is more intimidating or has a bigger and more agressive support group that back him up. I dont think you guys need any more examples. Just treat everyone as if you wouldnt be sitting at home behind a computer but somewhere in a public location face to face with each other. This should avoid 95 % of the problems we recently had.

Edited June 4, 2012 by Evil Genius

[Stillman]

I will post regarding this thread once more.

Psylo is a troll he takes a stance to agitate. I doubt he is passionate about much in life. Infact I think he shows alot of sociopathic tendencies like I said in the thread his fix is doing people. I have watched him be and do this sort of rubbish for months now. I always try to ignore him but after a while you get sick of it. Had this "conversation" happened in real life I still would have said what I said.

Edited June 4, 2012 by Stillman

[Marcel]

I can't wait for Faustus to read this thread. It's going to break his little poi-twirling heart!

[chilli]

Rudeness is often a result of laziness.

I will post regarding this thread once more.

Psylo is a troll he takes a stance to agitate. I doubt he is passionate about much in life. Infact I think he shows alot of sociopathic tendencies like I said in the thread his fix is doing people. I have watched him be and do this sort of rubbish for months now. I always try to ignore him but after a while you get sick of it. Had this "conversation" happened in real life I still would have said what I said.

 

Irony of calling someone a troll in a post that is pure troll.

From what I have seen Psylo is not a troll. I do think posts like the one you just made are quite trollish, as they single a person out and generalize about them and their personal life in a thread that is supposed to be about being civil.

Psylo seems to have some pretty strong opinions about certain topics, and argues them forcefully, and it sounds like he has been quite harsh to some people but to me that is not a troll. He also often seems to be able to be reasoned with and mature, and often is trying to bring threads back on topic, all of which are hardly trollish. I would take someone being harsh and even rude over setting up a fake account and lying to the whole forum.

You make the sweeping judgment that you doubt he is passionate about much in life, but he seems like a pretty passionate guy to me. You also suggest he is a sociopath, this is a pretty big call to make about someone, so on what basis are you making statements like these?

I am not friends with him and only know him from brief interactions on here, not all of which have been pleasant, but to me it seems like a few people have felt intimidated by or taken a personal dislike to the guy and are ganging up on him, and I feel like he is being treated a bit like a scapegoat.

Edited June 4, 2012 by chilli

[chnt]

I will post regarding this thread once more.

Psylo is a troll he takes a stance to agitate. I doubt he is passionate about much in life. Infact I think he shows alot of sociopathic tendencies like I said in the thread his fix is doing people. I have watched him be and do this sort of rubbish for months now. I always try to ignore him but after a while you get sick of it. Had this "conversation" happened in real life I still would have said what I said.

 

i dont have a problem with you stillman whatsoever but...

perhaps you shouldn't judge someone so quickly, assumptions like that can often be way off the mark, especially if you haven't taken the time to try and understand or get to know the person in question.

maybe psylo is all those things you said and more...

maybe psylo is multi-faceted, compassionate and generous...

with your current attitude you wouldn't really know, for example, you might not realise all the free gifts psylo has sent new and other members, including chef and rumple (perhaps why he reacted the way he did, because he actually feels emotions and was hurt in this way), you might not know the extent to which he helped out his partner or one of his friends when they respectively had a serious medical operation and broke both their ankles, you may not realise many aspects about him, going so far as to say he is not an emotionless ogre, he actually may be sensitive enough that he reacted badly to a group mentality that directed negative energy towards him for months and months without trying to understand him in the slightest...

also, dont you think that's a pretty bad call to make after torsten specifically said this?

"Please do not comment on psylo any further. An explanation of why will be rendered shortly."

[chilli]

you might not know the extent to which he helped out his partner or one of his friends when they respectively had a serious medical operation and broke both their ankles

 

Wait a minute, so both chef and psylo have a story about their partner breaking both her ankles?

This explains everything: Chef is Psylo! They are different personalities in the same body!

Chef is Ed Norton and Psylo is Brad Pitt!

Edited June 4, 2012 by chilli

[Stillman]

you are both right I'm still pretty annoyed I don't know why even, he just really shit me and now i am being nasty so I'll drop it.

[space cadet swami]

^^^^It is a bit low to slap someone when they don't have the ability to defend themselves, but on the same token the "psylo fan club" doesn't need to jump to his defence every time.

He'll be back soon enough, he doesn't need all his pretties to take up the fight for him.

Has he taught you nothing....

[Stillman]

Space cadet has he taught you nothing? lol

I put him on the ignore list because I don't trust myself and I doubt I will ever be as enlightened as some of you. I actually feel heaps better now lol.

[chnt]

you are both right I'm still pretty annoyed I don't know why even, he just really shit me and now i am being nasty so I'll drop it.

 

it's cool bro, as i said i have nothing against you.

hopefully you are able to chill out a bit, go do something you like, or ingest something that you like...

@spacepuppy

i actually think he does need our back, if we dont give him support then it's him VS everyone against him, this leads to shitfights and offensive posts, if someone else can defend him in a non-threatening and diplomatic way then it's possible to avoid the shitfights.

[watertrade]

ok.. I think you have all had your say now - don't turn this thread into another argument. No more Psylo talk please if you really have to get something off your chest PM me.

[Sallubrious]

I don't see how putting someone on ignore list will make a great deal of difference, when they inject themselves into most discussions you're still going to come accross their words in quotes etc.

Let's face it with Psylo, he is annoyingly right most of the time and he does present some fucking good arguements, it's just his demeanor that can hit a nerve especially if his words find there focus in your own direction.

I liked him almost straight away, I just get his sense of humour and his take on most things.

I took issue with something he wrote the other day and I voiced my opinion about it the same as I would with with any of my mates that I'd had a difference of opinion with.After that we'd either punch on or agree to disagree and then we'd get over it.

I'm a bit old to be playing "I'm not going to be your friend anymore"

[space cadet swami]

Psylo & I have been trying to work out how to catch up & have a sociable, but there's just too many kms between us at this point. I like the guy & consider him a friend, I think he feels the same way.

I think the other day got out of hand, but it is not going to stop me having a bit of fun with him. He has a good taste in music (most of the time) & a good sense of humour (sort of). He is over opinionated on some topics, but he is entitled to his opinion, aren't we all. My point to stillman was to wait until he can defend himself due to his current suspension. My point to the other guys is that I'm sure he would appreciate ur support, but he doesn't need u to defend him. I have offered him my support via PM... his battles are for him to fight.

Honestly I didn't agree with his perspective regarding parenting, but that is just my opinion. I didn't feel it necessary to voice my opinion & still don't. And I feel he is entitled to voice his opinion as long as it is done in the correct manner...& i think the guidelines have been suitably outlined for us to all see now.

As I have stated before, "If an opinion upsets you, then you have the problem". His opinion is merely that, an opinion. You can take it, or leave it. I chose to leave it.

I do have a problem with bullying & I feel psylo was bullied for his opinion, but, such is karma.

And now I will pull my head in & keep my opinion to myself.

Peace & love to all.

@WT: please forgive my want to explain myself properly...

[incognito]

Wha? This is still going on??

Old news bruz let's move on eh??

[incognito]

I want u to call

Me nasty names in the bedroom after that little spanking you gave me eg. I have a sore bot now and quite frankly you have turned me the "heck" on. Badass!! I like it!

I believe u need to give urself a point after your last post eg! The profanity !!!! My eyes feel like they are bleeding! Well if u need a spanki g I'm more than willing to return the favour and make u feel theway broke flavoura of MY pimp hand.

Edited June 5, 2012 by incognito

[CβL]

Any alien observers would crap themselves laughing when they saw our pathetic human squabbling. I mean we all breathe air, drink water and eat food to live, spent 8-9 months chilling in a womb, all die eventually, have 99.9% the same DNA - yet seem to find the tiny differences more important than the world of similarities. If the participants had taken the time to agree first, I'm sure we wouldn't have needed this topic. - Not that I'm not guilty of this pettiness either. -

For example, I'm pretty sure that Psylo (who probably prefers to think of himself as sternly rational) would agree that childrearing is actually difficult - it's for another day whether he actually thinks this.

Please be the "bigger (wo)man" and try and actually sort out disagreements. Discussions are not about winning - they are about developing understanding and both moving forward with new knowledge and perspective.

[Max Cady]

There are lots of naughty words you wouldn't use in general conversation with strangers. Cunt, fuck. Just two.

But the point here, to clarify for others (because I think you understand fully) is that these words are reserved for extreme circumstances, alien landings, tidal waves etc. - And are not appropriate for addressing other members here and in general conversation. It’s not that anyone is really offended, it’s just not necessary

 

Great thanks for clearing that up = ) high five! also how about Jew is the word Jew taboo too? or are words ambiguous and mean nothing except the meaning we choose to attach to them? I'm guessing it's hard to judge motivation and context for the choice of written words or perhaps it's censorship in it's most vile form to favour the interests of group within a group?

either way this place is alright with me = )

[nabraxas]

is the word Jew taboo too?

someone the other day said how someone had Jewed them in a trade, ie: ripped them off.

that seems to me to be fairly offensive.

[Evil Genius]

Of course it is not allowed to use the term jew in a racist or degrading fashion! Whats the post in Question?

[2Deep2Handle]

It was my post EG, in regards to trading with cam/chef. I was angry and posted without thinking,Max Caddy pointed it out to me and I appolagised for saying it, although did not edit it out, as i did indeed say it, and to remove it, in my opinion was only trying to hide from my own mistake.....feel free to remove it and grant warn point if you feel it is necessary.

Again SO sorry to anyone who read the post in question. It was very out of charachter for me. Judge me if you must

ANyone who didnt see my post the other day, chef has since made MORE than good on his trades with me.

While we are at it....i still owe someone from a VERY long time ago...GoGoGadget.....pm me mate when you read this

Please people no more arguing!

<3 to all....even Chef

Back to the Garden!

EDIT: if people are getting warn points for old posts, (seems to me like posts associated with Pyslo/Chef trading problem) then it is only fair i receive one for that post.

WTF went down yesterday?...actually. it doesnt sound good...so feel free to refrain from unlightening me actually.

Edited June 6, 2012 by 2Deep2Handle

[ballzac]

Great thanks for clearing that up = ) high five! also how about Jew is the word Jew taboo too? or are words ambiguous and mean nothing except the meaning we choose to attach to them? I'm guessing it's hard to judge motivation and context for the choice of written words or perhaps it's censorship in it's most vile form to favour the interests of group within a group?

either way this place is alright with me = )

 

The thread title is a big clue. Torsten can correct me on any of this if he disagrees, but I see it as an attitude thing rather than an issue of semantics. I am not going to give warn points simply because a specific word was used, but there are certain words that are rarely used in a civil manner, and these are big red flags for the mods. But there are times when the use of a word does not denote a lack of civility, such as the use of the word "cunt" in this very thread, while the usage of the word itself is discussed. Likewise, without using 'taboo' words, it's still possible to say something that is offensive or incendiary. For example, I don't see anything offensive about saying, "Remember when that guy from Seinfeld called some people in the audience 'niggers'?" But I think it's extremely offensive to say, "I saw a group of people of African descent loitering at the shops the other day. No doubt they were going to mug someone, like those sort of people always do."

It all comes down to common sense. Be nice to people, and there's no problem. Don't even be offensive in a tongue-in-cheek manner, because it could be interpreted as being serious. And the person you are directing it at isn't the only one who will read it, so try not to say things that have a high likelihood of offending people in general.

Torsten has already made it clear why he doesn't like to set specific boundaries. The question of "What am I not allowed to say?" is often masking the real subtext of "How far can I push it without getting banned?" The simple answer is "Don't push it!" If you're unsure at all about whether what you want to post is okay, then don't post it. If you are offended by something someone has said, then you don't need to second guess yourself, just let a mod know and they can decide what to do with the post. Don't engage them in an argument if they are being belligerent.

[Max Cady]

I have spoken to 2deep through the message feature today to be honest I wasn't offended by what he said I saw my reply to his comment as a way to have a dig at the moderators Regarding how hard they came down on a thread I started entitled Palestine. I felt at the time there was perhaps still is in my own perception a double standerd to things around here but alas may just be my own perception.

But I start a thread about a subject which I have seen come up in conversation so to speak within other threads on here and it gets moved from where I initially post it. I get a pretty formal message in thread about the tone of content that will be tolerated.

But yet elsewhere blatant Racial slurs (all be it in jest) go unnoticed and not acted upon.

Funny I remember the Slumber party post and the fall out so are we all subject to the same moral code of conduct on here when it comes to civility? or is there a culture of nepotism where omissions are made at the powers that be's discretion?

Happy Travels

Josh

[Evil Genius]

Your post was moved because WT thought you might have more input in the Creativity forum. If you werent happy with that decision, you should have said it and we would have moved it back. And no one came down hard on you in the Palestine Thread. In fact, it did not have anything to do with you. I posted a reminder that this is not the forum to point the finger at Israel for the way they treat Palestinians because 9 out of 10 times, thats where these kind of Threads are going. Its not my fault many people who are somehow connected to that conflict fail to accept the opinion or the right for existance of the other side and i would have putten that reminder in this thread no matter who posted it. If that wasnt what your thread was about, good for you. I would have been happy to see something about the lifes of the people that live there so i tried to influence it positively. And I didnt imply in the slightest that you or your views of the world are radical or anything even remotely like that. That was only what you were reading out of my words. As a mod, i reserve the right to remind people about the rules we have whenever its necessary. There are hot subjects and there are not so hot subjects. Palestine is definately a hot one. If you cant take a reminder that wasnt even about you as a person, then you will have a hard time being on messageboards in general. And im pretty sure the Thread with 2Deep´s comments isnt even in a Forum i moderate so i fail to see what this has to do with me or the way our Moderators work. Did you report the Post? No, no one did. Because if someone would have reported it, we would have seen it earlier and we wouldnt have this discussion to begin with. But it wasnt about the post anyway, right? It was personal because you did not like the reminder i put in the palestine thread; which has absolutely nothing to do with this. You know what, Moderators are people and they cant see everything. Dont blame em or me for others peoples posts. We are fair here and we always try to be as just and as fair as we can. And we´ve been doing this since the very beginning. If you would have been around longer, you might know. I dont blame you, but please dont try to make this about us or the way we moderate if you didnt even bother to report the post in question. We pick our mods because they DONT have Doublestandards.

Edited June 6, 2012 by Evil Genius

[Torsten]

Let's not worry too much about what was going on in the recent past other than to learn a lesson from it. I think the comments in this thread are plenty of evidence that things went too far. This crap really exhausts the mods because they are constantly trying to strike the right balance. Always keep in mind that much of the awesome content on this forum does not come from the sociable loudmouths, but from the reserved occasional posters. It's the appreciative PMs the mods and me have received in the last day or so that show us without any doubt that our action was long overdue. Take it to heart, because this is where our priorities are and if all you can think about is how to regain some of what we have just shed then you're on the wrong track.

Why is anyone arguing about the limits? are you already trying to work out where exactly they are so you can go as close as possible to them? HELLO!! That's the problems that got us to this point in the first place. Still not sure what this is all about then read ballzac's post #48 above. It was so nicely put.

As for past incidences - I am not happy they happened, but we were hoping they settled by themselves [as they often do]. But with a few people so busy challenging the boundaries it just didn't this time. That doesn't mean they have to be brought up in some sort of self serving manner. if you want us to dig around in the past then you better have a spotless history yourself.

And if you really need to ask if 'jewed' is an acceptable word then I wonder what you are doing here . Seriously, you couldn't have answered that yourself?

Let's move forward.

[incognito]

You frighten me just a tad at the moment EG!

For what it's worth man, and I think it must be said. Your a great moderator, we are lucky to have you. Hazzaa for wAtertrade as well. You guys bust your proverbials sometime.

And noo I don't wanna lose my warn point! I've grown attached to the cute lil guy!

I'm actually trying not to swear at the moment. Everyone swears at work and I guess It becomes cultural, almost like what happened here with the c word. Now I find myself swearing all the time. Mainly the f word. C is will quite serious business, and People out here say iit are looked at as quite crass, say it to the wrong guy and u better know how to duck, same if.referring to a woman by that name.

You guys got me saying that, and I bet Im not alone! I'll see how long I go before I sound like a pirate again.

Edit- I feel I'm In the poop. Well, I am. Ima shut my social loudmouth up and go back to my corner.

Edited June 7, 2012 by incognito