freakazoid

I reckon I know who spilt the bongwater on it....

Is the Cat getting it on the Queen? What kind of a..... Details!

Wow zowie, I'm just speechless but was just typing this Campfire story jukebox trade thread for people who like to swim If you have some interesting stories or you have some spare entheogen..... just like a jukebox, put in your plants and out come competitive stories....people could even read 'em out loud one day 'round the campfire, with instant interactive editing. For those who have enough and have had enough And also equally for those that don’t have enough and haven’t had enough so now it's a one horse race with the Big H man in the lead on likes. but I wouldn't be so bold as to ask for a "to be continued" instead, i'll now go back to my shack and watch with the blinds closed and some fancy magical popcorn.

ho ho, yeah, like a dedicated SWIM thread. for everyone to play in. Members only?....oops i'm highjacking. but I noticed, when i kinda got into it the different levels of obfuscation required was a mind boggling maze of delightful horrors and utter bewildering amuzement. a good exercise, is what i'm trying to say. Like a dance of the seven veils and i was dancing and wearing seven veils...at the start...at least.... the things we do for free cactus

3 billion years ago on the planet mars Chapter (who knows now) The Night of the Cactus Supermen The garden was lit up with tiny green fairy lights that danced through the trees which blew in the occasional wind gusts , but they were mystical ones, localised, only there, in the garden. Just a few yards away, beyond the place, you’d swear it was a still night the whole night but right there, where they were, the odd gust was nearly strong enough to blow Noobies super-special just-the-right-one shamanic sombrero that he was soo proud of, right off his head, and made the green fairy lights jump around even more. There were dozens maybe hundreds of different kinds of magical plants and plant spirits to visit there and get to know. “One day…” thought Noobie, but tonight was Sanpablo Night. The Birthday Boys; Blackhawk and Goatboy loved sanpablos and always had some hanging around. Translated directly from Meh!heecaan the word sanpablo would literally translate to “St Paul”. Noobie hadn’t met the sanpablos in the flesh yet and was already amazed by what he had heard about them. The sanpablo’s were pretty small, an illustrious blue/green and covered in quills or even spines. Some said they were just a reworking of the oomph loompa or minions or even Mr Meseeks motifs or maybe even some kind of code. They only walked about a foot or so tall usually, but there were some huge ones here and there, rare old ones that really knew a thing or two. They were animate, common-language speaking beings of the cactus family. They were the plant spirits. They carried with them a magical healing Elixir lovingly handmade from their special sacred sunlight juice that they shared with only the staunchest of people and it was a strong and holy brew indeed because allegedly it made those who drank it even staucher. The sanpablos did the catering. They walked around the party randomly mingling or sometimes they floated around listening to peoples conversations or even joining in on conversations with the partygoers and they would serve people various different kinds of potions or a selection of the latest fairy dusts from the jungle or blah. and sometimes steer conversations in certain directions and each one had their own slant on things and how things should be done but they all knew everything, and everything about everything and, of course, the folks who were there meeting them for the first time like ol’ Noobsy were just mesmerised by the sanpablos, the Martian attendees walked and sometimes floated from one part of this magical space to the next, listening and talking about a whole bunch of fantastic new stuff. New to Noobs. The little blue cactus creatures were showing people how to communicate with the whole rest of spacetime in new and exciting ways so that the people can figure out how to become part of the healing of everything. Absolutely everything. Themselves, each other, their hearts and minds and souls and the actual planet itself.heal heal heal. They spoke of how the sanpablos were a super species and there are many like them and they were teaching people how to become a super species too. Most of the fellas had known about it for years and were already fully fledged Cactus Supermen, they could fly, had True Sight years ago, regularly visited other parts of the cosmos, they knew all the plant spirits personally and what they could do and what they wanted to do. And loads of magical things happening too. At one point Noob laid down in the garden and closed his eyes for a little while and when he opened them everyone was walking around 50 feet tall. There was one super man there who was soo magical that he’d made himself light as a feather and, while tooting on his magical steam whistle, he sneezed at just the right moment and flew clean across the room! and everyone made sure he was ok and the talking continued… and whats wrong with the culture they’re living in and whats the best ways to really fix it all and all about the Bull and on and on it went for days. an abundance of conversations about hundreds of topics. The sanpablos taught them about Mars’s molten core becoming solid and that would lead to an unbreathable atmosphere where most of it is just swept away on the resultant coming solar windstorm event once the ionosphere is removed but that was years away. There was much discussion about various sanpablo growing techniques to end up with crowds of them cute lil fellas floating around. at some point some of the little bluies started to get out of breathe but soon found lovely little patch under a Queen Vine and took turns filling them back up with a special secret gas and a little mouth to mouth and aswwuuuump wheee or two of respiratory assistance and they were right as rain floating round for the rest of the night. Some said the gas was tasteless, others said they could taste something and there was some discussion around it's tastefulness. And when the Karaoke got started up, it was magnificent. The people who were singing actually hurt their voices, such was their passionate belting out of such tearjerkers. When they hit the high note of “Wind Beneath my Wings” one of the sanpedros just spontaneously exploded like a cactus wineglass shattering and the group of singers had to all be helped off the stage because they had strained their vocal cords so badly, it was an epic moment. People at the garden party were just filled with emotion, song after song, and later, much later, some even began to cry with hugging required cos they just couldn’t handle it any more and the sanpablos snapped their fingers and the Karaoke was gone, disappeared into the night, like Magic, but the love and the healing that kept on going and it kept them all going and vibrating on whole new levels, both auditory and cosmologically for an implausibly long time.

Well….noobie seems to be getting a bit of traction but I mean, by Chapter 5: The Night of the Cactus Supermen, Noobie had made it all the way down to Meh!HeeckO; the region south of the The Bulls Kingdom, past The Fence, for a weekender, visiting the cactus for the first time, like a greatest night of his life, but heaps happened in-between. The segway to Chapter 2 for example… That was until one day the king and some henchmen came knocking at Noobs door. Knock knock knock *erherm* coughed the the Headguard of his personal Azure Guard of the Thpethawl Forthethes Unit. Typically, an appearance of the The King on the streets would be announced by a Mouthguard. But knocking on an “Unknown’s” door called for a Headguard to make first contact. Protocol. in the Azures handbook it was referred to as the Irish kiss manuevere. Then he began to shout. “Your Lord the King! King Malcuntent Turner the Bullisht wishes you to step forth! Peasant!”...... they waited and listened for a long time and then, spontaneously, without knocking, the Headguard started up again. “The all conquering, all conolizing, ever present Malcuntent requires you to exit this building!” And they waited and listened some more. But, unbeknownst to them, a much longer time before that, Noobie knew they were coming so he slipped out the back with his ( blatantly plagiarised ) Scramble Suit on, and off to watch a movie screening. “Sire! There doesn’t seem to be anyone home.” “Blast it!” Said The Bull. No one would dare refer to him as The Bull within earshot if his actual person, what with all the embowelments that he insisted on in retribution/embarrassment and all, but I digress, “if he’s not home then I guess we’ll just haft to wait” said the King...”Wait! There’s a note on the door!” He asked his reader to fetch it. You’re invited to a Terence McKenna movie night. Tonight! Light refreshments served at 5. Movie starts at 7 sharp. $10 a head 60 tickets available. The Queen. “Fuck I didn’t know there was a Queen”said the Bull, in fact, at that precise moment in that kingdoms history, no one else in the kingdom had ever heard of the Queen neither. "Perhaps, that is where he has gone?"..............

Hee hee, the graciousness and generosity of folks ‘round here overwhelms on almost a daily basis. @Horus ya know, it was nearly gunna be “The Tale of the Wizards’ Birthday Party and the Enchanted Sombero” but that would have been jumping in at about Chapter 5... I’m sure, between Hal and the two winners, there’s gunna be St. Pauls popping up all over the place in the not too distant future.

Ah, alrightie, 'tis as I feared. Well, I'll have a go with that in mind... Once upon a time in a faraway land there was a kingdom with a terrible King. The King, being the total prick that he was, had decreed 60 years ago that all magical plants are expressly forbidden, he sent his armies out hunting down magical plants and destroying them wherever they found them. Anyone found growing them was put in his dungeon and all their coins were forfeited into the King’s coffers. This was actually a fairly lucrative enterprise for the King but the King didn’t really care about that, he was already the richest person in the land. No, the king didn’t want anyone to have the magical plants because he knew what those plants existing out in the community would, slowly but surely bring his horrible rule to an end. you see, those plants gave people special abilities. People who used them wisely were given “The Vision”. They would be able to see with perfect clarity just how ridiculous and treacherous and corrupt and cruel the King truly was. He acted all tough but was actually scared shitless of the magic that they brought out. Now, also in this not so magical Kingdom, there lived a peasant named Noobie McSWIMmington. He lived in a small falling-down shack and worked all day for anyone who would employ him, doing odd jobs and menial tasks for a few measly coins. Just enough for food and firewood. Just enough to keep Noobie from starving or freezing to death. The king of this land was a ruthless tyrant who occasionally sent his guards around to Noobie’s house to take away one tenth of the coins Noobie had earned whether he wanted to give them the coins or not! Noobie thought that when someone takes your money without your permission that was basically theft but he knew if he protested too loudly that he too, would be put in the dungeon….something about Tax evasion…. But Noobie had a secret passion; he loved magical plants! He had never even seen one in the flesh but he had read books and heard stories about all the wonderful things those plants could do and he yearned to one day get his hands on one and see what all the fuss was really about. Real Magic! Then one day Noobie received a web letter. A slightly secret open invitation from the Secret Magical Plant Society to anyone who so dared to meet in the graveyard and maybe, just maybe get your hands on some actual, real, magical plants! Noobie’s heart leaped, he knew this was his one chance at freedom, one chance to learn from the wizards and gain new cherished friends and most of all see this Kingdom with True Sight like he had read about each night. With much apprehension and fear, he accepted the invitation, half expecting it to be just another one of the kings traps. On his way to the graveyard he began to sweat, not because the day was hot or the walking, hard-going, he sweated because he was nervous. He didn’t want to end up in a dreary cold dungeon just for being in the vicinity of those special plants but his courage kept him going. When he arrived he was delighted, not one guard to be seen! Instead there were dozens of lovely, lovely people who greeted him with open arms. “Welcome Noobie! Glad you could make it!” and everyone laughed and shared food and drink and swapped some magical plants and had a wonderful time. “this is how it’s done” thought Noobie. “These are the people how have their heads on right” and slowly, Noobie’s knowledge of magical plants grew and his skills using True Sight grew too. He knew that his decision to go to the graveyard was a risky one, but it was the right one. He learned secret ways and learned how to hide magical plants all over the place. A funny thing about the magical plants and True Sight is he could now see clearly and the King and his guards could not so Noobie had the upper hand. The plants taught him what to do and when to do it and where, and by the time Kings guards came and knocked on his door again, he had even been taught by the plants how to make things invisible to the people who, he now knew, had been mostly blinded by the Kings evil ways. And Noobie McSWIMmington and his shack full of magical plants (mostly) lived happily ever after…… True story with just a few details changed to protect the......interested parties.....who are also interested in parties....

You lot are awesome Caption: “I hope you fellas don’t have any bananas onboard...”

Hmmm.....could you, perhaps, give a more detailed definition of "above board/suss"? I mean, if it's a "keep it legal" kind of a thing you're after then talking about "what cactus means to me" might get kinda boring, for Australians, at least. for example; "every day i look out my window at my garden full of columnar cacti, waiting, hoping, praying that, at some point, the lawmakers in this country will see reason....." then there's your Thomas Jefferson quote..... not trying to call you out or nuthin', just wishing for an elaboration...... this comp. is particularly appealing to me.....

i've watched many hours worth of 9/11 inside job vids and the most interesting part of it for me is the carsized UFO that slowly emerged from the top of one of the towers before it fell, but i can't be arsed trawling through that shitshow to find it again so i'm just going to drop my favourite comical/pisstake 5 min vid here...

Wow agua, that's an instant awesome collection in the making right there!

sending PM...

and elastic bands were invented circa. 1845 in England, so, just how "ancient" is this text? and the elusive pictures in it....

Happy Birthday. See you again soon.

^ Welcome to the forum. ( notes ironic username )

And if anyone "Kancho's" you, just exclaim "HOPOATE!" when you punch the shit out of them and then everything will be fine......

after three shouts of going, going, gone?

maybe the pollies want the media release to start with "....a study has found...." having it prescribed for "people who can't sleep" would be one more (big ol') floodgate in a series ( like a three tiered shit dyke, Ricky ) with the pollies bighting their nails and shitting their pants wondering when will be the right time to start calling out "....the dam is bursting, taxed weed for everyone....". fun times, eh? so much fun

If you stare are at it long enough, eventually, it becomes quite arousing.

.....and there's even mulchahuasca and compostahuasca too....

12 yr old lectures in a McKenna type voice.." So you see the problem here is the Principal,.........if we just got rid of him, then the teachers..... and the students would be forced to fend for themselves....... and creativity would abound as the overinflated male ego is flushed down the toilet. There would be no more head honcho who's job it is to make everything go as slowly as possible, maintaining the status quo, and of course maintaining his or her cushy pay packet. With the principal removed, the rest of the faculty would be free. Free to survive, flourish or die. It wold be Darwinian education. They'd be free to create whatever mode of education they see fit as applicable to their students. Sure, there would be a period of upheaval and chaos with no-one at the helm, so to speak, but that would give way to a new paradigm where the teachers are enabled to teach their students with effortless appropriate action, moving back to a Greek style of education, far more intimate than the Roman/British/Overlord style system that we have today, that is dripping with Testosterone and really needs to just be gotten rid of....."