so how was eb3??

[spiraleyes]

excellent!

its inspiring to hear eveything went so well!

:cool:

[t st tantra]

gomaos:

 

gomaos:

and as my girlfriend of 5 years had rung and we had agreed to end our relationship just a couple days before i left,it was just what i needed.

Hey man, how come you never talked about it? i just sort of left my mundane life behind me at home and was having such a great time it was irrelevant.i knew i could talk about it if i wanted but just didnt need to.but it did stop me from diving too deep into my self.

i will probably talk about some of it here soon ,but life is big and there are other possibilities to explore!

thanx for your interest gomaos.

t s t .

[RonnySimulacrum]

EB was just one of the best couple of days I have ever experienced. It was no one thing but the whole environment, vibe and people. Words cannot really express the high cloud I have been flowing on ever since.

I would like too thank T and D for getting the whole thing in motion and Dark and Reville keeping it flowing smoothly. Thanks too all the speakers, you all were really inspirational and informative, and what a range of topics there was.

The food was haven, every meal was amazing. God those falafel balls where the bomb.

It was really great having the stalls there two, with informative and helpful people; it made it so easy to get seeds, books plants, etc.

Like I said, all the speakers were brilliant, but some of them stand out for various reasons, for me personally they were;

Michael Smith – he was so informative and just a god damn funny guy, hope to see you in the flesh again some day.

Mark Pesce – it all smelt a little out of left field, but he was amazing, so much charisma and just a great guy to chat to. Hope to see him down under again.

Robin Rodd and Dan Cummins – you guys made my day with your anthropological and archaeological mojo. Gave EB a real intellectual edge. There was nothing froggy about that burial, it was just foetal position in prep for the

after life!

Fractal – was amazing, cemetery had never sounded so fun before. Good work. A word of advice, never mix Radiohead and pituri.

Sybille Orzek – speech on Datura culture was so informative and innocent it was just too cool.

Michael Bock – Mushroom talk was very well presented.

I am thankful and thoroughly enjoyed showing some of the doco rushes, and hope you enjoyed seeing them too.

Well the whole conference was fabulous and the after party was just so strange, I think Loop and me left many parts of our self scattered around the place

up there.

Well I feel a sleep early but had a dream it was a bit like this;

I turned into a lizard, I was just extremely lucky that the lizard was still interested in playing music. It was the strangest set I have ever played because I could hear all the piercing scrams of the M-- heads on the hill to the side of me. Somewhat like a pterodactyl screaming, you will understand how scary this is, and well, I was a lizard like I said, so I had my own problems to deal with, and was surrounded by many other strange primordial beings that inhabit the western lands .

Well it was grate too meet so many True people, thank you to every single one of you. Special hi out there to Darklight, Adrian, CS, aphex Visuals Guy (need your email) the god damn four guys starting with the letter M and Wolfgang, J, MB, Reville and the rest of you guys who names I have forgotten that kept me in stitches and past on so much knowledge of all forms.

Love and light

RonnySimulacrum

[ 09. December 2003, 13:48: Message edited by: RonnySimulacrum ]

[RonnySimulacrum]

.

[ 09. December 2003, 13:33: Message edited by: RonnySimulacrum ]

[Chemical Shaman]

Ok well I just got back home on monday and alll I can say here is HOLY FUCKEN SHIT MAN

fucken hats off to you Torsten EB was the fucken shit!

Ok so here's my little list of highlights and lowlights from the last two and a half weeks

Highlights:

*ME (ok so im just gonna fucken come right out and say it!)

*Fractals talk/presentation/workshop

*Watching Darklight shoot pingpong balls out of her vagina

*The food that Daniel prepared was fucken oscar

*ME AGAIN!

*Getting to meet people in the flesh that I had liased with for many years

*Possbly the biggest drug binge..... ever.

*The health food shops and restaurants in Mullumbimby fucken jesus!!

*Fucken air quality in Mullumbimby

*Hanging out with a great bunch of guys and having adventures for several days after the conference

*When I broke into the tractor and masturbated and ejaculated all over the steering wheel and didn't tell anybody about it

*Hell and redemption up on the mountain

*Picking up hitchhikers (you cant do that here or you get stabbed in the eyeballs)

*Coming home with one big fuckoff smorgasboard of drugs

*Robins Talk

*Kiva Spa

*Pub Meals in Nimbin

*Daniel hitting on me and then lying to Torsten about it to make it sound like I was hitting on him and shit!

*Railing a full point of ketamine off the palm of my hand while on LSD while waiting in line for the Scooby Doo spooky coaster at Movie World

*Bean

*The hospitality and kindness of strangers

*Teaching a car full of people how good it feels 'just to be alive' on the way to and from Byron beach

*Meeting up with my crew 4 days later then planned in Surfers and finding out that they had gone through over 100 pills, 18 grams of ketamine, 300ml of G, 5 grams of whizzer and 4 grams of ice, and been banned from Virgin Blue airlines and been fined by the cops more or less every day they were up there.

I could fucken go on and on here but I gotta make some room for the...

LOWLIGHTS

*Darklight hitting me in the eye with a pingpong ball

*Only ONE party which I missed due to mountain

*2 Days was not enough time for that conference

*Constantly being lied to about the tractor keys and having the tractor keys hidden from me

*That night in the hotel room that I will spend the rest of my life trying to forget

*Quickly cutting up lines of mdma in my car and then literally running to the kiva spa bare foot and then finding out that they were closed...biggest fucken anticlimax ever

*The lack of tractor rides at ethnobotanica

*The bank robber that "wasn't over killing people" that just got out from doing a 17 year jail stint that was living at Maca's camping ground that would constantly 'pop up' as soon as my psychedelic drugs kicked in and would not shut the fuck up. dickhead.

*The massively unhygienic shower block at Maca's camping ground

*The cane toads and cockroaches that lived in the showers at Maca's

*All the chickenshit motherfuckers that were too pissweak to do the psychedlic themepark thing with me resulting in me going on my own

*Getting pulled over by the cops twice (thanks Psilo_Smylin :mad: )

*Having to eventually come back to city life and city air

I could seriously fucken go on and on with both these lists, but I wanna thank anyone and everyone that travelled and partied with me or took me into their home. I will remember these last few weeks for the rest of my life (mostly heh). Big thanks to Torsten for making all this possible, big thanks to Julian for accomodation, big shout-outs to Rev, Adam, Robin, Jeremy, Carl, Hayden, Julian, Natasha, Darklight and anyone else i forgot. And to any motherfucker that's considering the possibility of not going to EB04 eat shit and die.

The friends that I have made in the last few weeks i consider to be friends for life and I can not wait until our paths cross again. Thanks guys.

Oh and Adam if you're reading this you left your cassette thingy in my car so hit me up with your address and i'll mail it out to you. And somebodies C.D's are in my car too so if your missing some email them to me, oh and I left my blockbuster video card at someones house. cheers

Chemical Shaman

[Skulking Lurker]

....man, I'm goin' to the next one......

[RonnySimulacrum]

Well I am very surprised to see that CS came down from that mountain, let alone made it back to Vic safely.

First class Honors to him.

He is a true one off, an original poetic substance fend.

[Torsten]

I am simply surprised he came down - full stop.

CS darling, please keep your personal drug binge and EB3 a little more separate in your postings. People might get the wrong idea. After all, EB3 was only a 2 day section of a 2 week binge.

Sticky tractor steering wheel?? the puppies licked it clean

Tractor keys were in the tractor all along

Do you remember ringing me from Movie World? Like several times. I still haven't deciphered most of those voicemail messages .... but I think I can safely say you were having fun

[coin]

ummmm *Bump* as they say..

so's there any word yet on details for 2004?

[Torsten]

Hmmm, EB4. Yes, there are plans. however they are probably not as advanced *on my part* as I had planned. Not sure what the others are up to.

Basically I've had a miserable time for the last 6 weeks and needing all my energy to just keep everything else running OK, so no movement on any projects such as conferences, journals or even research.

In a gay relationship there is little chance of having a baby, so frequently a pet takes that place. It's not like we treat our dogs like small humans, but that does not diminish the bond. In early august my dog ran off with her daughter (daughter was being raised kinda as a 'back up', as life in the country is tough and often short for small dogs). It was a stormy few days and the silly things simply couldn't find their way home. For 3 weeks I did nothing other than thousands of letterdrops, putting up hundreds of posters, putting ads in papers, and chasing up information - all day, every day. We kept track of them till early September (always a day or two late), but then they disappeared. I am heart broken

I haven't been this depressed for 15 years and as I said, I am having real problems keeping it together, let alone taking on anything new. It's been weeks and its not getting any easier.

That said, EB4 will be fine. We didn't start organising EB3 till about this time last year and we had plenty of time to spare. And anyway, it's the same team as last year, so the other two know how it all works just as well as I do and can take on much of my part in case i don't snap out of this soon. The date and location is set and many speakers have already confirmed.

[coin]

torsten i'm so, so sorry to hear that, and i think i can understand how you're feeling...

my bestest friend, Tara, despite that she's living a fairly suburban life - is over 14 years old (i'm 24.so she's like my godmother or something...she was wise well before my time), and she's one of the most beautiful & gracious 'people' i've ever met..something most people find very hard to understand.. - she never ceases to amaze me ... and in empathy, that just brings tears to my eyes.. :-(

can thank you for being so open, because, really it only deepens my appreciation...

i've lost my babe for 'hours' before, and i just died & 'surrendered' .. thanks to the powers that be, she came back .... however bleak it might seem, i wish & sincerely pray for the best of luck

[ 24. September 2004, 01:28: Message edited by: coin ]

[gerbil]

That's really sad news T, I completely understand the connection, have the same bond with my 9yo 'puppy', it's devastating even when they go missing for 1 hour.

Take care, really hope something positive happens very soon, and as coin said, thanks for being so open, we all fully appreciate it.

try to smile tort, it'll do you good

[planthelper]

i understand you,

having been thru "a lot of loss situations" myselfe aswell...

pet's often do love ther owner "unconditional and vs versa", or to say animals have a purer heart, than humans animals...

i even cry for day's if some of my most favored plants die...

all i can say is, that out of every pain,

a good thing can grow, if given time...

----------------------------------------------

eine neue jugend,

ruecksichtslos froehlich!

[Torsten]

Thanks guys!

One of the biggest problems for me is that there is no closure. I got Misty a few weeks after my last dog died, but she was 14, had a very good long life and it took me all of 2 seconds to decide that euthanasia was the best option for her (she had severe cancer of the spleen which had been masked for months by cortisone pills). I cried a few days and still get a real deep emotional longing for her company everytime I see a picture. We went through some tough times together (including a really full on mushroom trip she rescued me from by drinking my second cup ).

Anyway, from when she turned about 10 I was prepared for her to die at some stage. It was all natural .... and 'excessive' dmt use has prepared me well for death. I didn't mind letting go.

But this has been really different. It's the fact that we know they were still happy and healthy almost 4 weeks after we saw them last that makes me think they are probably still alive and having a ball. But they are farm dogs and totally stupid around cars, so if the ticks don't get them then the cars eventually will. In fact our first sighting was due to them causing someone to be run off the road. Luckily they seem more interested in muddy gullies than smooth roads

So yeah, it's the agonising wait and the constant hope followed by regular let downs, that is eating us up. My hope is that they've just found a nice place to hang out and eventually someone will notice them. They are chipped, so who knows when we will get a call from the ranger. I am not giving up.

[shroomy]

sorry to hear about your dog torsten, I know exactly how you feel. I had to have my blue dog put down yesterday not an easy thing to do and even harder for my kids, hes been their constant companion all of their lives. And mine for 14 years . Its interesting how things coincide, I just this minute had a coversation with a person who lost their blue dog aged 14. Now for the first time in a while i logged onto shaman and your reply was the first reply i read {spooky}. Two seconds to decide (euthanasia} was also the way for me. i guess its somthing you know you will have to do someday so the decision is already made. Anyway i hope hav'nt made anyone cry. look forward to catching up at eb 4. oh how did those seeds i sent you go?

[mescalito]

I'm really sorry Torsten,I lost my last old mate the same way .It was hard for ages but now have a staffy named Jake he's beautiful...and he just got a hug

I've been in a bad space for a few days and my little mate has been giving me the absolute shits following me around and tripping me over.

Now I know he just misses me.

Oh and yeah ya's did make me cry.

[gomaos]

I only ever had one cool dog, approx 25-30 years ago.

her name was Klara Schmittchen.

She liked to eat hash from the carpet and hated and sometimes even bit people who smelled strongly of alcohol and/or were drunk.

She knew instinctively what was good and what was bad.

All other dogs I had since were stupid animals in comparison to her.

Nowadays i own 3 cats (oh well yes i know you don't own cats)

[RonnySimulacrum]

Very sorry to here about the lose of your dog, hope come back to base line soon.

As for EB – Me and Loop had the best time, it was the most enlightening and best decision of 03. I was hanging for the 04 eb, but I just got a new job and find it very unlikely they will let me take time of in December :mad: .

If you can get up north for this years, go for it, you will be part of the company of angles :D .

[coin]

i know this thread's been condemned by that guy, uh..you know..the one we could never get rid of..he was into colonics & stuff .. umm, oh well, his name will come to me later

mmm re EB04 - i'm worried about work commitments also :- i so need money for study fees next year ..

anyway...just thought i'd post here to continue the dog thread.... had to take my kelpie/border collie, Tara, to stay at the vet's on a drip cos she's a bit dehydrated in the beginning stages of renal failure. i could see she was really depressed & despondent over the last five days..she's refused to eat for three days & she keeps vomiting bile :-(

i guess i should be preparing for the worst..i'm just holding back the emotion at the moment - my family's away right now .. the vet's are gonna do urine tests, etc, but they reckon with her breed, she's already on bonus time, and before the results of these blood tests, they were pretty suprised she's in such good health .. (initially they thought she was just suffering arthritic pain) i could see they were a little irked, despite their commendable sensitivity, that she's not had vaccinations, etc, for like 10 years..

they said i can go visit her whenever i want..she just stares blankly with the tiniest tail-wag of spirit left in her...it was only two weeks ago that she was tearing around the backyard playing football with me (two pines trees as the goals)

i don't know how i could handle being there while she's euthanaised (tho family will be back real soon) and i don't know how i couldn't be there for her either :~(

if anyone's still reading this thread - probably just the regulars - what is your opinion of letting a pet die naturally at home with loved ones? she seems constantly nauseous - definitely has abdominal pain - i assume she's pretty uncomfortable .. of course i wouldn't want her to be suffering so much - but i really don't know what she'd prefer. i'm such a believer of the spirit, and i've often wondered if the injections are so dulling & clouding to the mind and spirit that an animal just fades out without their birthright to make a proper, conscious spiritual transition

please reply if you have some thoughts

[ 30. October 2004, 16:44: Message edited by: coin ]

[shroomy]

Hey coin

sorry to here your dog is in pain. personally i think if the dog(family member) is in pain and is destressed and is definitly terminal than the only real option you have is to send her on her way to better places. Believe me i know just reading that last statement is upseting but watching your best friend fade away in destress is worse. The drugs work very quickly almost instantly so i dont believe there would be time to cloud the mind and i personnally believe if you can be there with them you can in some way guide them through it. I really hope you dont have to go through this, but if you can believe in some sort of life here after than you must believe your dog will be much happier there ,it got me through and still does. hope things improve and you get some years of enjoyment from her.

shroomy.

[ 30. October 2004, 21:27: Message edited by: shroomy ]

[coin]

*nods* thanks shroomy

she's already 14 .. but who knows..we might have some more time yet.

i certainly wouldn't be arguing with the doc's opinion if that's what they felt was best - afterall, i trust them enough to take care of her, which they do more than adequately.

i went to see her today..she seems a little better now that she's rehydrated, and hopefully it's helping to flush all the toxins..they'll know tomorrow. she still refuses to eat, even with appetite stimulants..which is the main worry.. she jumped up straight away when she saw me - haven't seen her move that fast in over a week.

i've not had much to do with the local vets here, but i'm so impressed. brilliant staff..they let me take her for a little walk, try to coax her into eating a bit & stay there for around 2 hours, sitting outside in the shade.

anyway, i thought it was gonna be pretty upsetting today - but it was kinda fun..she seems peaceful enough & i'm happy with how she's doing. the next 48 hours will show what's happening.

[ 31. October 2004, 14:29: Message edited by: coin ]

[gerbil]

that's really rough coin, am sorry she isn't in the best shape, but on the positive side 14 years sounds like she has been having a great life.

I'd have to agree with shroomy, it's a terrible thing to have to think of, though watching them in pain is more devastating. Wish you the best, hope she gets better quickly.

[Torsten]

with a kelpie anything past 11 is a good innings. renal failure can be cused by some funny things and may not be just old age. it can be the result of food, infection or injury, and in many such cases a course of antibiotics and a week in vet-hospital can fix it. then again it could be old age. either way, at that age you must be able to let go, as you obviously love her and don't want her to be in pain.

as for keeping her at home to die naturally.... it might be a romantic notion, but think about the consequences. tara will likely be in incredible pain, and even if that is relieved by drugs, she will probably not be herself anyway. the drugs, the pain, and your sadness will be devastating for both of you. But then again I am a strong believer in euthanasia where pain and suffering is the only other option before death - regardless of humans or animals.

Rather than thinking about what you wish for her, you should compare that with what you would wish for yourself if the roles were reversed.

That said, I am not sure if I can myself be present at the time of injection. I think that point is traumatic for the pet, the owner and the vet. Considering that animals pick up on vibes from their owners moreso than from strangers, tara would feel your sadness if you were present which would cause her great distress. on the other hand, if the vet approaches her with a needle she will just think it's another one of those shots she's been getting the last few days. We have to keep in mind that euthanasia injections for animals cause an immediate shut down of higher functions unlike natural death, where the transition is slow and hence eased by the presence of loved ones.

I do hope that your family gets back in time though, cos this is not a good time to be alone. I hope that our good thoughts and best wishes will help in the meantime. I know exactly what you are gowing through. I hope she recovers, as even a little bit more time makes it easier to prepare for the inevitable.

[Darklight]

Sorry to hear this sweeetie, and I hope yer kelpie gets better and is bouncing around the place faster than a Skase cheque for quite some time yet.

You might want to start enquiring about vets who do home visits- before my old dog died ( four years ago and your story still finds a tear in my eye ) I was looking at having him euthenased, and was lucky to find a vet who agreed to come round and do the shot at home. Cerberus hated both vet surgeries and firearms with a seething and vengeful passion and I figured that a home shot was the most respectful solution. It was a few dollars extra but basically so what

We planned a huge send off, but he beat us to it and died before everyone got here. Let 'em go in the spirit with which they lived, I figure, he was a social animal and people turned up from SA, Melb and Sinny anyhow- he really was a legend.

We got a backhoe in and stuck him on permanent guard duty out the front with a lovely Uki Brug over him. Send 'em out the way they lived I say again, a mate is a mate.

T is right- if it comes to the crunch have as many people around to support you as possible. It's a miserable time

Hopefully we're all wrong and Tara is fine. Best wishes for it anyhow

[Torsten]

Originally posted by Darklight:

Cerberus hated both vet surgeries and firearms with a seething and vengeful passion and I figured that a home shot was the most respectful solution.

-----------------

Might have been an unfortunate choice of words..... but you didn't actually get him 'shot' by the vet now did you??!!??