Evil Genius Posted May 26, 2007 (edited) Hi Guys, title says it all. I´ve just had a debate with a female friend and i´m so pissed. She totally ruined a great saturday. I´ve actually thought that we´d be very close but today she really pissed me off and I don´t want to talk to her again during the next few weeks. Have you ever had a good friendship with a woman, that wasn´t based on sexuality? I´m far from being a sexist but i´ve had bad experiences with female friends and i´m starting to doubt if it´s possible at all. Was that just bad luck or are men and women too diffrent to be close friends? bye Eg Edited May 26, 2007 by Evil Genius Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
teonanacatl Posted May 26, 2007 most of my good friends were chicks, infact in general Id rather hang around chicks then guys lol. So yeah very possible Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Evil Genius Posted May 26, 2007 Hi Teo, i´m glad to hear this. I usually prefer hanging around with chicks too but mostly the relationship comes to a dead point. Actually as soon as it´s starting to develope into more than friendship. As soon as feeling are involved, it get´s difficult. Sometimes it could be so easy but it isn´t. bye Eg Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Auxin Posted May 26, 2007 All good relationships I've had with women were as friends. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vertmorpheus Posted May 26, 2007 Yes we can... of course, there is nothing saying that from time to time you won't get carried away and want to jump into bed with some mates haha... gotta remember that the minute she thinks you can't handle the situation the way it is, you can end up out the door... especially very good looking ones, they come to love thay you can just chew the issues of the day without expecting-wanting-demanding that it become something else... if they wanted fawning admiration they'd be at a club. People are just people. Tho for the record, some of my best mates are women ... it's good, you can just talk without having to get into Im The Man-ism like ends up happening some of the time with the boys.They introduce you to their friends (nice!) and you can learn a whole lot about what women actually want from a man, without relying on Ralph magazine for inspiration haha. But trust me EG... I know all too well the torture...and the inevitable trajectory that it leads to...despite all the above, hanging out with an intelligent, stunning , talented, twisted and artistically gifted 6 foot tall vocalist/jazz dancer with a heart of gold,eyes like smoked ice came with a whole bag of bullshit as garnish. Some things are just unnatural Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Evil Genius Posted May 27, 2007 (edited) There´s a lot of truth in this. Somehow i feel a little bit dorky for posting this question. I mean for some it seems to be a total normal thing to have female friends. I love girls and i couldn´t live without them. But It was the first time i had a very close relationship to a woman and i´m a little bit dissapointed that it ended up exactly like i´ve expected it. I often have good relationships to girls but not that close. I trusted her. But somehow she has changed during the last few weeks and this week her boyfriend wanted to kick my ass because he was jealous. Actually i´ve just wanted to be nice but that wasn´t the outcome that i´ve expected. But i won´t let this mess up my attitude to friendships and girls. Greendreams, next time im in OZ you have to introduce me to that jazz dancer. Maybe we can be friends Edited May 27, 2007 by Evil Genius Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
No_One Posted May 27, 2007 I reckon males and females can just be friends but strong forces come into play when you get a male and female together i.e. subconcious desires to root her. What is it that makes you interact with certain chicks? a subconcious desire to root her or a conscious desire to be her friend? If it was a conscious desire to be her friend you'll have to deal with the parts of you that want to root her, therein lies the challenge i.e. suppressing your desire to root her instead expressing your feelings toward her through the use of language. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conan Troutman Posted May 27, 2007 here a tough one for the guys, is anyone still friendly with a partner they had a sexual relationship with? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Evil Genius Posted May 27, 2007 (edited) Hi Conan, Yeah, with my first one. She had affairs all the time and now i´m so glad that i´m not her boyfriend anymore. I know her new friend pretty well and it´s so cool that she´s his problem now. But apart from this, she´s a nice girl. You´ll allways remember the first. And from time to time i meet another ex of mine if i need some good loving. Sex with the ex can be very cool. The last one makes me go crazy everytime i see her. I wouldn´t want to be in one room with her because i hate her so much. bye Eg Edited May 27, 2007 by Evil Genius Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vertmorpheus Posted May 27, 2007 Still mates to varying degrees with 3/5 exes... nothing against the other two, just livin quiet a ways away. As was said, you'll never forget the first and had such a formulative effect on each other that barring some cosmic upheavel, in years to come you tend to realise that you are more like family than anything else .... and no, I don't get tasmanian with any of em But yeah, I worry about people with nothing but spite for sommeone they were once that close with..yep, people change, and you rarely break up with who you started out with ;) but yeah... pretty sad. But then my oldies split a few years ago and are still really good mates, so maybe it's where I got my attitude from, dunno. Nothing against any taswegians BTW, obtuse n co I enjoy your fine produce on a regular basis! Thats ok, I live over the hill from Esk...thats where the kransky sisters are from :D but yeah.... you can think as nobly as you want, the inner ape has other ideas... and I think in some ways (bit of a stretch maybe) some women will basically lose interest in some guy that they think doesn't want them like that... she has her biological drives too, pissing about NOT creating life isn't one of em in some cases. Just a theory, not true in all cases. Whereas some men are in a way happiest and freest around someone that they know for a fact wouldn't sleep with them, as the pressure is off so to speak. If that makes any sense. I haven't been single in 5 years, and no longer than say 3 or 4 months since I was about 14... I don't get a lot of "practice" at all this shifty business. get a dog? GD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
paradox Posted May 27, 2007 I trusted her. But somehow she has changed during the last few weeks and this week her boyfriend wanted to kick my ass because he was jealous. Actually i´ve just wanted to be nice but that wasn´t the outcome that i´ve expected. But i won´t let this mess up my attitude to friendships and girls. when one of your good friends has a boyfriend then obviously theres gonna be some politics involved, particularly if her boyfriend isn't your friend aswell. it sounds like in the last few weeks her boyfriend has been getting jealous and it's causing some friction in their relationship & perhaps she's caught between wanting to be your friend but not wrecking her relationship. just a thought. i have that problem too. most of my really good friends are women & recently it's been causing all sorts of messy shite, with my girlfriend (ex now actually) letting her jealousy go sick & me not really dealing with it very well & having the whole thing become a big pile of pain & jealousy & confusion & the need to feel free & express myself but at the same time keep my love pure & bla bla bla (pain & jealousy & confusion mixed with sexual desire & love etc). bad it can be so hard & complicated but the bestest friends i've ever had have been women & if your girlfriend and her boyfriend etc are wise & conscious people all that could be transcended i believe (maybe ) sex will always make things complicated. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Evil Genius Posted May 27, 2007 (edited) I haven't been single in 5 years, and no longer than say 3 or 4 months since I was about 14. Me neither. I wasn´t able to be alone untill two years ago. Then i suddenly needed my space and didn´t wanted to have a partner anymore. At all. I think you gotta learn being a single.In th ebeginning, it wasn´t funny but now i like it. bPeople who aren´t needy appear much more attractive because they aren´t searching for a partner anymore. As soon as you got your life in line, everything else happens from alone. But then my oldies split a few years ago and are still really good mates, so maybe it's where I got my attitude from, dunno. I guess my parents will finally split too.Well, I hope so. They would like each other much more if they wouldn´t be together all the time. get a dog? My parents borrowed my dog to safe their marriage. Not sure if i will get him back Edited May 27, 2007 by Evil Genius Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vertmorpheus Posted May 27, 2007 Well that could be written more clearly sorry lol... not been single all that much, but I have a very firm idea of who and what I am, and much of that is non-negotiable. The times I have been single haven't been painful , just different. I know who I am and don't need anyone else to keep that in place for me. But I just like people, when all's said n done...so long as they leave me alone for an hour or two a day that is take care GD Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Evil Genius Posted May 27, 2007 (edited) Yeah, i had Problems with that particular post. I was lacking a few words and i ended up writing difficult stuff. Nevermind Please continue to tell me when i´m writing nonsense. It helps me to improve my englisch language. Edited May 27, 2007 by Evil Genius Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Auntyjack Posted May 28, 2007 I'd just like to share sumthin my pappa always used to say... ..."Son, if you work on the premise that ALL women are MENTAL, life will be just peaches!" So can men and women just be friends?...Yeah if you keep this in mind! AJ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ace Posted May 28, 2007 To quote a wise man: 'If they didnt have c*nts, son, you'd throw rocks at them.' Lol - I can see the value of such a quote, but I actually think its a bit of a mis-truth. I rather like the company of shielas (ladies, for all you politically correct folks ) to blokes because they tend to step past the 'look at me, I have a bigger dick than you' conversations that you get with guys. Most of the time I'd rather talk to an intelectual girl about something meaningful or even just something that is on my mind. Seems to be much more worthwhile than shooting the breeze with a guy mate who will just talk the usual 'sex, sports and tv'. Anyway, just my 2c, but I think you will have plenty of luck in the future EG - just keep it in your pants and things will be fine Though, easier said than done in most cases Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Auntyjack Posted May 28, 2007 ...Ace, don't get me wrong I enjoy the company of women very much. My point was if you try to figure them out it will do your head in! ie EG's post. EG btw you are not alone. AJ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SaBReT00tH Posted May 28, 2007 (edited) I think about this topic a LOT!! I like being friends with girls more than guys but find that things do fuckup because one always develops a liking towards the other more than just friends. If you have a decent personality and decent looks it's bound to happen, even if they keep those feelings a secret. It's usually inevitable because that longing for emotional attachment and love is human nature. Edited May 28, 2007 by SaBReT00tH Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
xShiva.spacetechnology Posted May 31, 2007 this topic really hits home with me, see at uni the majority of people in my classes are female (atleast 92%) and the majorityof them are very attractive (makes studying hard). all of my best friends at uni are girls and i seem to get along with them all fine..but the more i became friendly with some of the girls on a deeper level, like more then everyday chit-chat they'd want moreout of the relationship. so in my experience its the ways in which you relate to the person and communicate with them, the more friendlier you are the more friendlier they are. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ThunderIdeal Posted June 4, 2007 what the hell do you study? (insert sexist remark) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conan Troutman Posted June 4, 2007 (edited) dont tell me your a studying gynecologist xshivaspace?? Edited June 4, 2007 by Conan Troutman Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Evil Genius Posted June 4, 2007 (edited) lol Conan, i´d rather study music or biology if i´d want to meet nice girls. If you should feel lonely one day, just go to a mensa and read an ambitious newspaper. I bet you won´t be alone for long. Universities are a dating paradise! bye Eg Edited June 4, 2007 by Evil Genius Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
