secrets of hand shake, hug, hand kissing and social etiquette

[incognito]

I do enjoy hugging you wt. your a huggable guy sometimes I can't help but feel that hb has other motives. I love giving Toby hugs to he gives a mad hug very huggable guy. I'm really not a hugger, though there are exceptions

.

Edited August 9, 2013 by watertrade

[watertrade]

I'm honoured to be one of those exceptions incognito.

I'm pretty sure hillbilly licked my ear last time we embraced.

***** incognito - sorry , I edited your post by mistake.

Edited August 9, 2013 by watertrade

[nothinghead]

Check out this vid of new zealand's prime minister, doing his infamously gumby 3 way handshake.

 

Gold. Both suits fuck the handshake up proper, but it's especially great how the one who doesn't get in first is gearing for some finger the whole time.

So I grabbed my beer and said

"It should be alright after you fix it up"

Sharp comeback. Well done. Until this thread I had no idea there was a power struggle involved in whose hand is "up" in a handshake. Dunno if I've never had it done to me, or just never noticed.

What's forgotten is that a handshake is not a physical contact but an energy one. Women have different ways of sharing energy than men, who don't like strong physical contact with other men. If you put the right energy into a handshake, it will always work, no matter how physically firm. That's why mine always work, except when I am unsure of someone (already ascertained by eye contact / other mannerisms).

The only exception to this is gay/effeminate men, who do not always handshake well, as their energy is shared more like women. I know a few gay men who can't handshake (and obviously dislike it) but I would still trust with my life.

lol, handshake essentialism for hippies? Not all women are the same, and not all gay men are the same. As we've had attested to in this thread, how you shake hands has a lot to do with how you've been raised, and how you interpret and feel about that particular social custom. It's not about some innate 'energy' that flows through us according to sex or sexual preference. I've given soft handshakes, hard handshakes, high fives, that hand clasp-chest bump-back slap that males of the species sometimes do, and none of it is about me being gay, straight, male, female, white, thin, fat, or whatever else, it's about what I'm used to, how i feel about the person, and how i feel on the day. edit: should also mention, as waterboy said, it's also about the cues you get from the other person - I'd be unlikely to give a good firm shake if the person is keeping about 2 meters distance from me etc.

Edited August 9, 2013 by raketemensch

[incognito]

I never noticed the hand on top thing either. Ime my handshakes have always have had both hands vertical if that makes sense, I wouldn't know what to do if someone flipped my hand over and there's was ontop! Never had that happen before. I agree with the poster above there's nothing worse when there's someone you don't like who comes up to give u a manhug, not a more awkward feeling on earth.

Watertrade, you got out of a hillbilly manhug lightly with a licked ear, very very lightly. Last time he came in my shirt pocket

Edited August 9, 2013 by incognito

[glimpse]

I have always really hated traditional handshakes definitely more of a fan of the hand clasp sort of bro-shake thingy

its hard to explain without a physical demo but here i go, when someone comes at me with the overhand douchey powerplay handshake i was told years ago to move in close by moving my elbow in until its inline with the handshaking which at the same time kind of turns the hands around to a nice even handshake which inturn stops the overhand/underhand shit but it can set up a crazy mark Laitham/john howard style upclose stare-off handshake thingy but if that happens you just bring your other hand in and give em a pat on the arm and if that doesnt break the handshake your in a good position to engage a jujitsu style wristlock

hugs are way less complicated but dont go down so well at most job interviews

[incognito]

I really can't do the bro-clasp either I wish I could! I guess subconsciously I have my grandpa in the back of my mind (who gave me instruction on how to shake hands) horrified that I've gone against the man-law passed down through my family. It's awkward as many times I've had guys put up their hand for the bro-clasp looking at me with excited eyes and I just give this pitiful look like "nah man. I just can't do it" I. Which case they normally just slap my back with a disheartened look in their eyes or I offer a begrudgingly pitiful bro-clasp that leaves me feeling dirty on the inside.

Hell yeah PH if you shake hands on something that deal must be honoured at all costs. If you didn't honour a handshook agreement out here I'd dare say there would be a lynching- at best the guy would never be trusted again and if a tradie would be lucky to find work.

I love some of these old school Aussie qualitys. Being true to you word, mateship, chivalry, taking a handshake seriously, always honouring your bets- it sucks it seems to be dying out.

Edited August 9, 2013 by incognito

[glimpse]

as much as i hate traditional handshakes it is fun to force an up and over traditional handshake onto an over enthusiasticaly expected high handclasp

[incognito]

Who would've thunk shaking hands would be so complicated! Lol

[woof woof woof]

DEAD FISH HAND........... don't you just wanna slap such a person?

European... yeh,.. cheek kiss with most of them,... Dutchies are known to exchange 3 kisses... but it is becomming less common nowadays.

I live in a very multi cultural society,... sometimes it's hard to judge the person's customs.... makes for funny introductary interactions sometimes

[bogfrog]

You auzzies would have a field day trying to execute a successful hongi!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hongi

You begin with the start of a handshake, then lean in towards each other, look into the other persons eyes and you press your noses together, then you both breathe in at the same time, ceremoniously breathing the same breath, allowing your energies to mingle together.

Its really quite an experience, sometimes terribly nerve-wracking (so many opportunities for stuff-ups, like head-butting the other person ) but when it happens right, its a beautiful feeling.

When i started at teachers college we all recieved a formal welcome, where we had to hongi a line of atleast 30 people, one after the other. I did accidentally head-but one woman, i felt soo bad,

It was a unique experience, tapping into so many people's energetic fields in such a short period of time.

You really can feel their individual energy signiatures..and gauge alot of the personality from that moment where your bodies physically meet.

[bogfrog]

Social etiquette is somewhat fascinating to me, especially because so much of it consists of unspoken rules, which most of us have to learn the hard way

Edited August 10, 2013 by bogfrog

[IndianDreaming]

I'm a shaker, hugger, kisser - It just happens at the time, and it's 90% appropriate - unless I'm intoxicated and then it's 90% inappropriate

I gave a dude a hug once, I'm usually a full embracing grip hugger, no messing around with a little bump and nudge, I get in and fully embrace. Anyway - I felt the moment after 4-6 seconds and relaxed my grasp but he kept holding, which was kinda weird because I'd felt the moment was long enough - and it's usually me that hugs for to long. He told me "A hug and embrace is meant to allow time for your heart beats to sync" So I hugged him for about 10 seconds or a little more and yeah - it felt good, we synch'd breath and It did feel like we bonded further...

[whitewind]

I think it's fairly safe to say that scratching your balls before a handshake is a no-no, but I would be concerned about someone who pokes their nose or scratches their butt. One thing that has always worried me is toilet hygiene, what about the guys who don't wash their hands before a shake? I mean, there's sharing physical energy but sharing your man-sweat is another matter entirely...

[incognito]

Whatever you do whitewind, at all costs, avoid the central west. Just drive around it.

[bogfrog]

Ewww Whitewind you just totally reminded me of those disgusting unwanted sweaty hugs i have occasionally received from guys who are fucked off their heads on e at raves.

Yuck.

[planthelper]

another, inappropriate thing with handshakes we saw with john howard, when he jerked his political opponents arm, towards himself.

maybe this won him the election, sad...

the answer, to the howard trick, is to not give way, if someone wants to pull the hand towards themselves, than just stand your ground. just extend the hand more, and make sure you have a good foot stance (right foot in front of left).

a dead fish hand, say you know, this person has not washed in weeks, is the worst. particularly bad if you, shake this persons hand, during a good by, and you have to wait till you come home to wash your hands.

but, as mentioned the very worst, are people who scratch, ass, sack or cock, when they see you, or even try to shake hands afterwards...

believe it or not, bum slapping (in a kind way) was tolerated when I was a teen??!!!

now you can't slap bum, full stop.

[toast]

Awkward greetings are great I reckon.

I really don't like getting an unwelcome man-hug, particularly in front of a group of friends where it seems to be a bit of an ego thing.

I won't cause a scene & refuse it, but I do wet fish version of a hug, so only they not its not reciprocated.

Besides, how low would you have to feel to think hugging me is going to impress a group of ratbags!

I recently had an awesome moment when I was buying some clothes in Byron. Chatting with the employee as I attempted to sort things & remove the hanger, it turned out I had just moved quite close to him in Mullum. He seemed excited and extended his hand to shake mine & introduce himself, or so I thought as I intercepted his attempt to get the hanger off me. We did exchange eye contact after the 'hand shake' but it mutual embarrassment not respect that was shared

Edited August 11, 2013 by toast

[Scarecrow]

[whitewind]

Bum slapping is weird. Had it done a few times, it invariably felt inappropriate. It is a sexual thing for sure, so maybe it would be appropriate in some instances? I remember a couple of girls at school went on a bum slapping rampage. Took the teachers ages to stop them, thought it was hilarious. Bet it would have been different had it been boys hey?

[incognito]

I got in trouble big time for slapping a girl on the bum in yr 10. I got suspended for two weeks

I thought the feeling was reciprocated but obviously not never slapped a bum since

[gtarman]

As someone who experiences significantly higher levels of social anxiety than your average Joe, I hate even the idea of this discussion lol

It's like the awkwardness of trying to navigate the situation in real life, without even being forced into it. Very masochistic...

[paradox]

sometimes i like to fuck up a hand shake for fun. if they go for the fist bump you grab their fist & shake it, if you see them go for the shake, go in for the fist bump, then when they change for the fist bump, go for a shake/hug then awkwardly pull out & pat them on the shoulder then mumble incoherently as though you were saying something cool & walk away. it can be a real ice breaker

[AndyAmine.]

As someone who also has a lot of social anxiety I agree, it is just another thing to have to worry about but at the same time, it is what it is, there is no point pretending it isnt going on.

As a male who is not considered an Alpha most of the time, in fact Im probably considered a slightly effeminate Beta or Omega by most inflated 'alpha' types.
As a result I get challenged with this kind of stuff quite regularly, both growing up and as an adult so I feel it is only going to make it worse and doors are going to close on me if I pretend not to notice it or let them play their games with me.

As an emotionally sensitive, introverted and socially anxious type I suffer a lot in our society, feeling a little handicapped at times but like a lot of people in my shoes I have another skill/s in its place, that being sensitivity and empathy.

I/we am much more sensitive to peoples body language and energy than most, so why not use that to an advantage like in.the handshake scenario?

Having increased sensitivity and empathy can really bring you pain and discomfort in this very selfish, egotistical world but it can also be used to your benefit.

Words are cheap, most people are always playing social and cultural games and projecting false images of them selfs, but body language rarely lies and that is what I look for.

Like when working with animals, body language presents more of a conversation than words ever will.

.

Edited August 13, 2013 by AndyAmine.

[planthelper]

As someone who experiences significantly higher levels of social anxiety than your average Joe, I hate even the idea of this discussion lol

It's like the awkwardness of trying to navigate the situation in real life, without even being forced into it. Very masochistic...

 

As someone who also has a lot of social anxiety I agree, it is just another thing to have to worry about but at the same time, it is what it is, there is no point pretending it isnt going on.

As a male who is not considered an Alpha most of the time, in fact Im probably considered a slightly effeminate Beta or Omega by most inflated 'alpha' types.

As a result I get challenged with this kind of stuff quite regularly, both growing up and as an adult so I feel it is only going to make it worse and doors are going to close on me if I pretend not to notice it or let them play their games with me.

As an emotionally sensitive, introverted and socially anxious type I suffer a lot in our society, feeling a little handicapped at times but like a lot of people in my shoes I have another skill/s in its place, that being sensitivity and empathy.

I/we am much more sensitive to peoples body language and energy than most, so why not use that to an advantage like in.the handshake scenario?

Having increased sensitivity and empathy can really bring you pain and discomfort in this very selfish, egotistical world but it can also be used to your benefit.

Words are cheap, most people are always playing social and cultural games and projecting false images of them selfs, but body language rarely lies and that is what I look for.

Like when working with animals, body language presents more of a conversation than words ever will.

.

note to me selfe, if those posters win the tour the france, no kissing.

[AndyAmine.]

note to me selfe, if those posters win the tour the france, no kissing.

I dont follow you planthelper?