Has love/sex become comodatiesed

[Teljkon]

asdad

Edited December 19, 2021 by Teljkon

[Sheather]

Can you please include your definition for the comoditisation of sex? As in: in what way is sex commoditised and how do you think it affects love.

I think love is just as prevalent these days as it has been in the past, but that there are more people going out looking for one night stands and hookups rather than longer term relationships, which could lead to it not being as easily noticed by those people. I don't understand your meaning of sex as a commodity. That would just imply that it can be bought or sold, and prostitution has been around for aeons. (if you use another definition of commodity, it would mean sex is valuable or useful, which I also agree with)

Do you mean that it's become prevalent, and "sex sells" (i.e. sexy advertisements and movies to grab attention) or that it's becoming more common in hookups etc, or that there is more prostitution etc etc.

[Teljkon]

On 26/11/2011 at 4:04 AM, Sheather said:

Can you please include your definition for the comoditisation of sex? As in: in what way is sex commoditised and how do you think it affects love.

adasd

Edited December 19, 2021 by Teljkon

[CβL]

In my opinion the single biggest threat to the proliferation of love is an incorrect understanding of what it is. From the youngest age, children watch TV with an arguably flimsy definition of 'love'. In the world of TV, 'love' is synonymous with touching, smiling and hugging/kissing. Although these things are important, they do not constitute love. It's quite possible to have this trio without love, and also vice versa.

Teenagers are not taught what infatuation is. It should be as common a word as love - lest they become confused. It's well known that with an absence of definition comes subsumption of the objects. For example the Pirahã people don't understand numbers because they have no words for them - they're all grouped together:

The new study found the same phenomenon but added a new twist - they started with 10 objects and asked the tribe members to count down.

In that experiment, the tribe members used the word previously thought to mean "two" when as many as five or six objects were present, and they used the word for "one" for any quantity between one and four. This indicates that "these aren't counting numbers at all," said Gibson. "They're signifying relative quantities."

He said this type of counting strategy has never been observed before, although it may also be found in other languages believed to have "one," "two," and "many" counting words.

Bahaha! But back to the story. Teenagers don't realize that infatuation is not the same as love, and lump them together, and there comes the confusion. Lastly, I think that the word 'love' has also become synonymous with 'really like', such as 'I love ice-cream'. It's not immediately that people realize a single word can mean many different things in many different contexts.

If I was asked to define love, I would define it as that subtle pervasive trust that remains long after infatuation has fleeted.

[migraineur]

Read this book. It is very interesting and it's not that big a book either: http://www.amazon.com/Red-Queen-Evolution-Human-Nature/dp/0060556579/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1322305409&sr=8-2

This is also related: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_capital

I think you'll find that sex has always been a commodity and we all pay for it some way or another.

[Teljkon]

asdasa

Edited December 19, 2021 by Teljkon

[TommyChesnutt]

in my opinion sex has always had the option of being a commodity - we see this among monkeys, for the strongest male of the pack gets his pick, basically.

however, sex can be whatever you like - a ways to a means, a fun way to pass time, or an explosive amazing sensual and mutual action of love for another human being.

pornographys' prevelance in modern day society is what has turned sex into a drug, if that's what we're verging on here... kids are being exposed to sex too early, and thus don't realise that it actually has the potential to be much more than it is, and not just the gyration of hips and feel good secretion of bodily liquids.

[Sheather]

No, I do not agree with your opinion that love has been commodatised. Living with someone/marrying someone for their wealth isn't selling your love to them for it. That too has been happening for centuries. I don't see how love can be commodatised at all, unless you think someone can be paid enough for them to feel in love with the payer, then they aren't selling their love, just their time. There are many loveless relationships of figure vs wealth, I don't see how your opinion is even possible, much less feasible.

[Teljkon]

sdfsdf

 

Edited December 19, 2021 by Teljkon

[migraineur]

Read the book I linked you to. DO EET!

[Yawning Man]

I think sex is the ultimate intimate act. To let a person see you naked and see and feel your junk, that's not something to be shrugged off later when the two people realise they have nothing in common. When I think about it people were probably just as ready to jump into bed 1000 years ago as they are today. But maybe some of the magic or mystery around sex has been watered down for want of a better word.

If I were to meet a woman in a pub who wanted to go home and do it, i'd like to think twice, although it can be hard when you've been drinking. It's just with all the sex and relationships and how they're displayed, people might have unrealistic ideas about what sex should be like and the following relationship etc

But seeing all the crappy tv shows whos advertisements feature attractive people in the bedroom, you know the pilot is gonna get a few people watching. Sex has been comoditised, it's a way people can make money.

cheers

[paradox]

can you name a single thing that has not been comoditized in the current world?!

just another reason to not buy into a demented culture & work hard to maintain our integrity as free thinking, morally self sufficient individuals..

[Distracted]

What exactly is love anyway? I feel that i've been taught what it means more than i've felt what it means.

I don't think anything I have ever felt I would consider to be the emotion 'love'.

I guess i'm the opposite to the point you're trying to get across, to me the media has hyped up the word love so much that nothing i've experienced can compare to it.

I've had infatuations and i've felt lust, i've felt ecstasy and eurphoria but i've never been in love.

[Foo]

Trading Sex for ethnos, PM me

[Sheather]

Would that be your ethnos for my sex, or vice versa?

[Foo]

Vice Versa

Ive got alot more sex then ethnos

Edited November 28, 2011 by eatfoo

[Sheather]

Oh darn, so do I.

[Mycot]

Take it to PM for Gods sake.

[Sheather]

Mycot, you're just jealous.

[migraineur]

I'll hold the camera and film it for you. I won't even accept ethnos in return cos I'm so nice! =P

[folias]

Point is, "sex" is considered this "product", and where is relationship in that product? and then it ceases to become about relationship and more about "physical" pleasuring... when really, the most pleasure is found in relationship and "love" during the act anyway, which is the meaning. And this is what makes the man hard and the woman lubricated.

I do think "love" is overstated in the sex act. I believe in "true lust", which is a feeling, not a physical feeling of horniness, but a realisation of transcendant possibility in the relationship! Love is something you are happy enough with just by itself, but also, then love makes you want to persue "loving" as well.

too often, what goes on is a kind of "rape", related to the ego and the mind, rather than the truth of the body and what it is feeling.

I just got back from Georgia recently and also eastern europe. Over there, I find it quite common to receive extraordinary eye contact, energetic flirting and a great deal of conversational openess, which is life changing in itself. There is often something very pure (not in a virginal way), but in a "oh my god, I want to fuck her!" way, which I often find absent in western girls - who I do feel have SOLD themselves out to this "fucking" and "being fucked", which is not about relationship or love, but superficial pleasure and egoic validation.

In the "east", that is not much the culture, it is more about romance and love and relationship as the meaning.

I would be a much more unhappy person if I had not met the Russian women I had, who gave me hope and showed me what love was. Too often in the west, you just get a more detached, aloof and silly immature "game", which is really them being really reductionistic about sex. Russian women will be much more direct. (and they are also incredibly "hot" as well)

For introverted guys who like to read books and have a deep and metaphysical nature go east, where that kind of nature is the standard, whereas in the west, the standard is more shallow, materialistic and likes to watch "Jersey Shore". Sure, there are plenty of eastern girls who are like this too, but there are many virtues to be found in these cultures, who have an orthodox christian church, not a "fucked" Roman Catholic one.

I'm not saying to guys here to go get a Russian bride, but before you write off all women because most of them you interact with are from the west - go to Bulgaria, Serbia, Slovakia, Ukraine, Georgia, Armenia, Kazahktahn and interact with some girls there before you prematurely decide that the fault is in you and perhaps lies in your culture.

In many of these countries, it is almost as if the onus is on the female to charm the man, whereas, what we are used to, is men charming the women for "sex". It is not that they don't have "sex" in these countries, but it is normally innately understood that sex is about "relationship", something quite sacred, not something done purely for hedonistic purposes which is where the west has fucked itself up I feel and really lost the essence and meaning of the act.

Julian.

[ThunderIdeal]

that sounds great julian, but you've mentioned russian women before and i can't help but wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that, women are less financially empowered in those countries, and that men are outnumbered significantly by women?

[migraineur]

What thunder said!

[folias]

Actually, it is the other way round... women are often MORE financially empowered. Russian women did not have a feminist movement, BUT they were working alongside men and considered equals to men in most areas since the communists came into power in 1917.

For western women, however, feminism, almost means, being more like a man! Russian women cultivate womaniliness but are just as likely to be top scientists or managers than men!

One friend reports his dad in the old soviet union going on a geological expedition to the north pole, just him and 12 other female geologists! (he apparently came back with herpes and his wife never forgave him!)

Also, women outnumber men quite significantly! This has been the case since after world war II, when tens of millions of russian men died, making competition for males much more fierce - so in Russia, the culture provides very much for females who actually put in a great deal of effort.

It goes on and on, I mean they didn't have witch burnings in Russia either...

Russian people have a reputation for being cold, but it is just that they just don't force sentiment and I have found to be about the most warm hearted and authentic white people I have met.

I've been in eastern europe a lot recently, and you will generally find a greater degree of purity, meaning and authenticity in your relations with people. Whereas, in the west, relations with people isn't considered to be that important it often seems. Of course, here, stereotypes and negatively tainted cultural imagery prevail - there is no way that in this culture, for example, you can really have any idea what Russia is like till you go there.

Julian.

[Sheather]

Thunder said that the women outnumber the men Folias. I think, personally, that you've just romanticised a culture and are going to love it whatever you find, but here is a pdf file that apparently is a study (survey elements too?) of female empowerment globally, and it ranks Russian Federation to be 31st overall.

They are, according to this study, less empowered in Russia than in the US, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, UK, Sweden, Norway, Germany, France etc. So I don't think your statement that they are often more empowered is quite correct.

I'm not sure of the viability of the study, if it's got survey elements or whatnot, but I'll take its word over yours for now.

As for pure relationships, I've yet to be in a sexual relationship that I do not have strong emotional ties through first. You're just not looking in the same places, go to some russian nightclubs and pick up chicks there and see how much they're not part of the "fuck and get fucked" culture. I think you are making a great many extremely broad generalisations and false assumptions here.

Edited November 30, 2011 by Sheather