OMG DRUG TEST!!

[vual]

So swim is about to sit a drug test tommorow, swim smokes copious amounts of marijuana, not possible for swim to stop (not right now anyway),

What are his/her options? Only option i have found thats reliable is smuggle in clean piss.... I did read somewhere about Carrots containing something similar to THC so you say you had Carrot soup for tea and the test is postponed, not sure how real that is, next option is swim drinks 2 Orange Juice Concentrates (about 6letters of orange juice not made up)apparently the test ends up so surgery that they cant get a accurate result and once again have to postpone it....

Any ideas??

Any one been put in the similar boat?

Swim cant loose his/her job... :*(

-Vual

[incognito]

ur screwed. sorry.

theres really nothing u can do, asides using someone elses piss.

but u are watched and it would be impossible.

unless u can be upfront with ur boss beforehanf maybee, be honest, and say that u will stop, and if u could be rescheduled a month down the line, come up with some bs of hardships your experiencing, and uve used pot to get u through, but now ur going to counselling etc to get ur life in order, you love and need ur job etc etc.

ur sick of being an addict etc etc- then u may have a chance- better than rocking up and pissing a positive anyhoo.

Edited August 8, 2010 by incognito

[dr dognutz]

fuck it... theres no real way to beat it so instead of worrying i would try and break some records see how many markers you can show a result for.

please note i am not a real doctor and this does not constitute real advice,

Edited August 9, 2010 by dr dognutz

[vual]

ROFL dognuts, i agree but my wife wont find it as amusing as myself

Thanks for the tips incognito, i would probably give that a go if i had a boss but i am a sub contractor and i am getting tested by a government department (/SLAP).

What they do is get everyone together 5 or so, and put 4 white marbles and 1 black marble into a bag, if you pull the black marble you get tested, ill just ahve to use my powers of manifestation to make it so i pull the white, its a 1/5 to fail good odds

I am going to go with the fake piss option, and as a fall back if there watching i am going to drink the juice before i go just encase, they cant really be watching me take a piss can they, thats even more of a privacy invasion then asking for my piss in the first place.....

Hopefully i get the white marble,

vual

[incognito]

okay, but just make sure u dont use a lady friends piss.

and they WILL watch you.

one out of 5 aint bad odds though.

Edited August 9, 2010 by incognito

[ref1ect1ons]

they may watch you, this is why you need to attach a device to the underside of your johnson, the tube can run down into a bottle between ur legs, when you want to 'urinate' squeeze said bottle with legs, said bottle should be filled with clean piss.

[Max Cady]

try activated charcoal in powder form smash as much of that down your neck as you can your pee will be so cloudy they won't get a reading of it also I heard Ural works but I'd go the charcoal

[niggles]

Unfortunately I used to have to be the guy doing the testing.

They are very specific about the whole visual confirmation part of the experience.

Everything has special sticky labels that have to be signed and cosigned, and then put in a tamper proof tube which you, the testee, also have to co-sign (twice).

Approx 44 days for THC not to be showing up on the kinds of tests we used to use.

Im pretty confident swab tests can be beaten but I have yet to see or hear of a method to get around the urine test that I think would work at all.

Hope your luck is in for the lucky dip!

[niggles]

hmm I didnt try charcoal back in the day..

[incognito]

guys ur building him up for a FAIL. (which hes gonna nayhoo should he be tested)

when u go u have to drop ur dacks right down to ur ankles. thats standard procedure.

theres no way to pass UNLESS u dont have the substance in ur system.

period.

urals may work if u have weeks to flush, but this aint the case.

[paradox]

just make sure if they pick you, that you stand proud & don't let these bureaucrats & their hypocritical & draconian regulations make you feel degraded for a generally benign activity you like to do in PRIVATE in YOUR SPARE TIME. i assume you smoke because it provides some kind of benefit (or simple pleasure) in your life & you should not be made to feel degraded for your personal choices that don't affect your quality of work & safety one bit. stand tall & laugh in the face of this hypocrisy... then get busy & find a new job... fuck them... if they are going to fire their good workers over pot that may have been consumed 90 days ago they deserve to lose half their workforce & go into ruin..

maybe it won't be easy especially if you have kids... but you'll get by & who knows, you could even end up with a much better job that you love & you can be proud that you stood for virtue & self empowerment...

haha.. my boss was the one who picked the mushrooms & provided all the white powdered south american plant extract for our last christmas party

[Chiral]

Okay....watching the piss test is an infringement on privacy and civil rights for a start i don't care what anyone says...you have one option if you want to get past this...use ural alkalizer powder in water and drink a shit load of it...2 liters if u have to the night and morning before...then...now don't laugh...as you are about to do the test...feint and fall to the ground and act like you have passed out from dizziness...stay down and moan a lot and if u can spew your guts up....I know of a couple of people who use these distraction teks and they get away scot free.

Incognito...ur sick of being an addict etc etc- then u may have a chance- better than rocking up and pissing a positive anyhoo.

maybe I misinterpret a lot of your posts Incog..(prolly quite true).. but I seem to see a common theme a lot of the time in your posts about you trying to be a drug counselor/matryr, giving advice to get everyone off drugs etc...we are not all addicts, or want or need any of this so called therapy or help, it gets on my nerves so much particularly when you of all people love to indulge quite often...I love you like a long lost friend but your constant badgering and mormon like attitude on this subject is very boring for lack of a better word.

Fuck my psychiatrist takes mescaline and LSD a couple of times a year, he never judges anyone and I love that about him, he never ever once tells anyone they must stop doing what they love to take, adults will always make their own choices and if they want help and really really want it, then they will seek it out with a proper counselor who can deal with drying out people.

[Evil Genius]

I would call in sick. Like real sick...for a few weeks. Choose a disease that is hard to disprove. Kindey or bladder infections. Put blood in ur urine before handing it out to the doctor. Once you are officially sick, contact your boss and ask if he can reschedule your test when your back. But to be honest, you should have already started with this one or two weeks before the test. If you only miss from from the day of the test on, it kinda looks suspicious. But its better than failing the test. Get yourself some test stripes and renew your attest as long as you get positive results. It´s really not a good option but i couldnt think of any other way to buy you some time. bye Eg

Edited August 9, 2010 by Evil Genius

[Magicdirt]

I knew someone who was forced to take urine tests for THC after a car accident where he was driving and killed a motorcyclist.

The day before the test he was smoking pot with everyone else and he mentioned his test the next day.

We all said he was mad and he'd get caught, he said not to worry he does it all the time and doesn't get caught.

He just drinks a lot of JD the night before the test, his theory being that THC is alcohol soluble so he just drinks copious amounts of alcohol to flush it out.

He had close to no body fat to store the THC so maybe it can be flushed out of the blood.

He never got caught for it so there must be something to it.

I say get pissed and don't worry about it.

Remember that Aussie snowboarder who tested positive for THC and said it was from passive smoke. If you swear you are innocent it could buy you some time.

It's my understanding that THC tests can give false positives, so you could contest the results and do a detox before they re-test you.

[vual]

Thanks for all the support guys, I am just going to stand tall and draw the marble, if its black ill just take it like a man and get fired, but before I even begin to piss I will be debating till I am blue about dropping my pants to me nees thats just ludicrous.

The fainting idea is a good option some distraction + some social engineering can go a long way.

I am not sure whats more degrading getting fired for no nothing or having to drop my pants to my nees!!!!

How much Activated Charcoal can one eat? Its completely harmless to digest even in huge amounts??

Would love to hear more information niggles, you are holding out, you use to be the trigger man please fill us in on some details of the job.

Thanks Guys,

Vual

Edit:

Interesting theory on the absorbing the thc in the alcohol, Would probably work for a short term user, I m sure theres thc hiding in every tiny dimple of my body , Gives me a good reason to drink tonight, thats the aussie way have a bear and forget about it, and it might just work.

Edited August 9, 2010 by vual

[incognito]

Incognito...ur sick of being an addict etc etc- then u may have a chance- better than rocking up and pissing a positive anyhoo.

chiral, i think u have edited the above post to take out of context the advice i was offering.

i dont appreciate it.

Edited August 9, 2010 by incognito

[faustus]

you've giving up, but maybe it's because one of your assumptions is wrong? how sure are you that you'll need to piss in front of them? have you spoken to other colleagues?

when i was broke, i got a job as a train driver, i.e. a govt job where the lives of many, many people are put in your hands. i was given a cup and told to go to the loo. i'm sure if you were an elite athlete you'd have someone watch you but really, a govt job? maybe, maybe not.

best solution: just carry the urine of a clean friend with you.

biggest problem: the urine needs to be at physiological temperatures, because there'll probably be a test strip on the cup that will test for temperature when the sample's collected. to hot or too cold and they'll be able to tell.

[incognito]

u could keep it at the correct temp by strapping it to your leg. you need about 200ml.

if u have to piss in front of someone, let the first stream of into the toilet. that contains the majority of the baddies. collect from midstream.

but i hate to say i really cant see u passing, all the ural in the world wont help.

would be a divine miracle.

i would go out and help as many old ladies cross the street to better ur chance of avoiding the dreaded black marble! 1 in 5 chance isnt that bad!! how shattered would u be though if u got it...

as Faustus said will only work if theres not somewhere there viewing.

but then again, all urines ive done or have taken went straight into a fridge.

i apologise in advance if any of the above advice was in any way preachy or mormon like.

Edited August 9, 2010 by incognito

[Bush Turkey]

dont take someone elses piss in unless its 5 minutes old. there is something in urine that dies off with exposure to air. FOAF smoked copias amounts of weed before a drug test and even on the way to the test. %100 clean cause he used a masking agent, well not really a masking agent it just diverts the toxins into your shit (apparntly). can buy it from hydro stores for $100 a bottle and they have a $500 money back guarantee! and bloody hell it works!!!

[incognito]

damn wish u had of posted that 18 months ago!!

[Bush Turkey]

sorry incog ill try and find the name of it.

[Amazonian]

Was it called Quick flush tablets ? http://www.drug-test...icfluscap1.html

http://www.detoxforless.com/pass-drug-test/detox-pills-for-marijuana-users.html

Edited August 9, 2010 by Amazonian

[kindness]

fighty fight fights.. wtf is going on around here lately? clearly incog works somewhere that they do alot of drug testing... maybe the drug testing there is different to stuff done elsewhere? maybe, (and incog i'm not saying it is!!! don't get the shits bro!).

Vual - if you lose your job.... oh well. In the grand scheme of things what does that really matter? you lose some money for a while, (we have a welfare system that provides you with health, housing and financial care...) make a bloody point of how much being 'busted' for smoking weed has affected your family and how stupid that really is!

I don't wanna be harsh or anything, but, suck it up. We all make choices and sometimes they bite us in the arse.

Pull the white marble brother and re-assess your employment choice.

peace

[santiago]

if you want to buy more time or perhaps taint the speciman as such then practice this method, i have no idea if it works but some heavy dude told me about this years ago.............washing powder under your fingernails, when you piss into the jar in the testing place you hold your dick with your fingers in a way that it flows past one of your nails therefore when they test it it comes back all weird on there testing mechanism and they have to ask you in to do another one, it may or may not work but could poss buy you more time.

[Bush Turkey]

Was it called Quick flush tablets ? http://www.drug-test...icfluscap1.html

http://www.detoxforless.com/pass-drug-test/detox-pills-for-marijuana-users.html

 

na it is a litre bottle of spicy fluid. ill go to the shop and have a look.