Sharing an experience

[Rabaelthazar]

I had an odd dream last night and the following is what happened in that dream. It was an odd experience for me and I just want to share it, get it out there to help me integrate it. Any feedback, positive or negative, is welcome.

In my dream, I was at home on a Monday night. I was to start a new job in a week's time and had a few days holiday. In the new job, I would have to be somewhat more responsible and, as such, would not have a chance to explore other realms for a while, so I wanted to have a final meal of mushrooms.

In my dream, I measured out just over 2 grams of subs, which is normally plenty for me to have a meaningful experience. I ate them and started getting ready to curl up in bed. I did some stretches, ate a little light food and sat on the couch for a little while. The experience began and I cleaned my teeth and sat down on the toilet. While I was sitting, the mushrooms started singing for me (this happens nearly every time I indulge... what I perceive to be the mushroom spirits perform a symphony of the most beautiful, other-wordly music. Very percussive, with deep resonant drones and clicks in true surround sound). This is always one of my favourite times, but in my dream, as the music built, I said "I want to get comfy for this" and stood up and went into the bedroom. In hindsight, I feel as though I walked out on a conversation.

Anyway, I got into bed and the open eye visuals progressed, as they do, into closed eye visuals. Normally I feel as though these closed eye visuals are coming straight into my mind and take me over. In my dream, however, they didn't come straight into my mind. It felt as though they were occurring about a foot to the left of my head. They became quite beautiful, but it was like they were happening to somebody else. Over about five minutes, they had left me behind and gone elsewhere completely. I felt a little bit hurt by this, as though the mushrooms were offended by me walking out on the earlier conversation. Anyway, again the open eyed visuals progressed into closed eye visuals and I thanked the mushrooms for coming back to give me a second chance, but again over about five minutes, and through a sequence they had left me. At this point, I was very sober and less than an hour after ingestion. I was quite saddened by what seemed like the mushrooms not wanting to play with me.

I waited a while and there was no change. At this point in my dream, I sort of had a stand off with the mushrooms and challenged them by eating quite a few more from a different patch (I didn't measure, but it was probably about 20 or so small shrooms from my first picking of the year).

This time, the shrooms were more than happy to play and I had a very deep experience. The first major thing that happened was that I was underground, underneath a tree and I realized that I was part of a mycelium network. I was part of the whole and we worked together to grow and to fruit. It was very comfortable, like being part of a really homogenous family unit. The work was hard but natural and we all benefited from our labours.

Next, I was a small mammal, just born in a litter and very comfortable among my brothers and sisters. Very happy, like a hamster or something.

Then, I was a baby bird, waiting for my mother to bring me a worm. I was very weak and needed sustenance badly. My mother didn't come and I realized I was going to die in the nest. This went on for what seemed like a very long time. I think I died.

Then I was a mollusk. This was very strange, but also very informative. I have a new respect for snails and slugs after this dream.

Finally, I was a human and I realized that it was just like it was when I had been part of the mycelium network. We were all connected in the same way and I thought long and hard about how we could be working better together in family, community and globally the way we had when we were under the tree.

From there, I sort of fell asleep and woke up a few hours later. I was now sober and got up to get a drink and something to eat. This is where things got strange. Although my mind was lucid and my vision was static, I had absolutely no depth perception, even closing one eye couldn't help me judge the distance between the water jug and my glass. Then, while chewing some sultanas, my mouth started to "slow down" somehow.

Next thing I know, one set of muscles in my jaw becomes totally useless. I tried to swill some water and my left-right motion was ok, but I had absolutely no power over my back forward motion. I've heard of people experiencing paralysis on psilocybin before, but I've never had it happen to me. If I hadn't heard about it, I would have been freaking out. I could talk normally, but couldn't spit, couldn't eat, couldn't hold anything in my mouth. Went to sleep then and woke up in the morning, still with the mouth paralysis. It went away but then came back several times throughout the morning. On top of that, for a brief period I couldn't operate my thumbs. Pretty weird, and a little disconcerting.

By lunchtime, everything was back to normal. Popped out to my usual patch that the original shrooms were from to make peace after our "misunderstanding" from early in the night. We're back on good terms now.

All in all, this was a fantastic experience. I haven't had such strong "We are all one" experiences in probably about ten years. The experience of "being" the different animals was utterly enlightening. Not so sure about wanting to experience the paralysis again.

Thanks for reading. Good thing it was all just a dream, eh?

Please, hands up if you can relate to this post.

Edited July 27, 2010 by Rabaelthazar

[ThunderIdeal]

never heard it described in such vivid, frightening detail.

how many grams would you guess after the initial 2?

on the topic of the visuals being to the left of your head, it's weird i sometimes reckon moving your head alters the visuals like you are tilting in a hyper space, your point of view changes but in a way that is not as comprehensible as moving around in 3D space.

i love the mushroom music too! i sometimes think it's more fundamental than the visuals. they go hand in hand anyway, but i have honestly felt like the visuals were a nuisance/distraction from deeper goings-on, at times.

[Rabaelthazar]

Thanks Thunder,

i love the mushroom music too! i sometimes think it's more fundamental than the visuals. they go hand in hand anyway, but i have honestly felt like the visuals were a nuisance/distraction from deeper goings-on, at times.

 

I totally agree with that... open eyed visuals are beautiful and amazing, but it sort of stops there. Further on from that is a whole experience, going to different places, splitting into multiple entities, etc... I think The Dude made a similar comment about this in another thread recently.

how many grams would you guess after the initial 2?

 

I really don't know. I dreamed that I ate what was in the bag, deliberately choosing a bag not from my usual patch. I haven't weighed or counted that particular bag since I picked them at the start of May. Could've been 3g, could have been more.

on the topic of the visuals being to the left of your head, it's weird i sometimes reckon moving your head alters the visuals like you are tilting in a hyper space, your point of view changes but in a way that is not as comprehensible as moving around in 3D space.

 

I think I know what you mean by this too. I find tilting my head, especially with eyes open, seems to create multiple horizons that are independent of each other. Things that would normally appear 2d in your vision will bend toward you and backwards towards infinity. This time was a bit different for me though. With closed eyes, everything was happening separate from me. It's sort of hard to describe, but it really felt like I was excluded from my own experience.

Thanks for reading and your input.

Edited July 28, 2010 by Rabaelthazar

[Amazonian]

The reason i joined the corroboree was exactly to read stuff like this. I love it. I was laughing until i got to the paralysis part. Thats scary.

[Rabaelthazar]

Thanks Amazonian. Yeah, it was all good except for that part. I don't wish that on anyone.

I'd be really curious to know why the paralysis happens. I've heard of a few other people who've had it, some much worse than my experience by the sounds of it. Seems to be fully reversible, but it makes you wonder. There was a moment in there where I entertained the idea of being unable to use my mouth properly ever again. Is that just another experience the shrooms are intending to show us? Is it purely cerebral, or it a physical thing? Is there some other chemical in subs that causes the issue? No idea.

[Amazonian]

I have heard of paralysis mainly occurring in P.azurescens. It seems the potent ones are the main instigators for this !!??

[Yawning Man]

Thanks for that Rabelthazar! It sounded like you were very in tune with the fungi in your dream. I'm sure the spirit of the fungi appreciates you being grateful for them and respecting them. It's interesting you mention the 'We are all one' experience/feeling you got. And the strongest for a long time? Thats cool. About mid-season i undulged with some friends and at one point when i was along, mulling over life and what not, i got a sudden overwhelming sense that everything was, will be and always has been perfect. That was my very first experience with the 'God concious' and it was beautiful.

Kinda jealous of your connectedness with the fungi though man haha, although i think what i just mentioned was them wanting to get to know me better.

cheers

[Quill]

My friend had a seizure on subs.

Other than the paralysis it sounds like a positive experience. Thankyou for sharing

I like how you challenged the fungi, I have always found the fungi to be playful and have experienced some psychic challenges thrown at me by the playful spirits of our fungal friends.

[Slybacon]

Far out man. You have amazing vivid memories of your dreams.

I quit smoking herb for a while just recently started being alot more aware of my dreams, three times in the last couple of months i have realized Im dreaming and stayed asleep.

The best of the three was diving into a pool and then realizing that something wasn't quite right. The lighting or the scenery or something. I then thought that the only way to test this was to try breathing underwater, so i dived down and took a big breath. Air , nothing but air. My conscience then split into two and my mind was fully aware of the two places I was in. I meditated in the sun at the bottom of the pool for some time before deciding to wake up and check my actual surroundings. I think the bottom of that pool is my new calm place for a while.

[Rabaelthazar]

I'm sure the spirit of the fungi appreciates you being grateful for them and respecting them.

 

Thanks YM, the more I get to know this ally, the more respect I have.

i got a sudden overwhelming sense that everything was, will be and always has been perfect. That was my very first experience with the 'God concious' and it was beautiful.

 

Sweet.

My friend had a seizure on subs.

 

Geez! I feel lucky now!

I like how you challenged the fungi, I have always found the fungi to be playful and have experienced some psychic challenges thrown at me by the playful spirits of our fungal friends.

 

Yeah, it's a real two way relationship, isn't it? Man, there's some crazy intelligence under the ground.

Far out man. You have amazing vivid memories of your dreams.

 

I quit smoking herb for a while just recently started being alot more aware of my dreams, three times in the last couple of months i have realized Im dreaming and stayed asleep.

 

Lucid, nice. Yeah, dreams have always been important for me. They're everybody's internal entheogen. I found when I was smoking a lot of pot (I hardly smoke at all these days) my dream recollection was like trying to remember through a frosted window. I'd wake up, get inches from recollection and then *poof* it was gone. Good on you for quitting the 'erb.