bogfrog

DCHIW you realise 'random acts of kindness' often become 'random acts of life complication' and as a young woman you can't just go round being nice to men without them trying to catch you as their little wife or some shit like that. A few months ago I gave the owner of my local diary a bunch of cacti and succulents, he had been robbed at knifepoint a while back and I just felt shit for him, wanted him to feel like this community wasn't just a bunch of selfish knife wielding idiots, when he expressed interest in growing some plants I thought hey I can do good here. So I did, and ever since then I have had to realise in increasingly definitive terms to be careful with random acts of life complication. Now I can't go to the diary cause every time I do he wants to come to my house, has asked where I live about 6 times, gives me hugs, actually runs out of his shop to stop me if he sees me walkin past.. ..so as a result of my late good will towards strangers, today I must drink my coffee with icing sugar cause I'm too freaked to go to dairy to buy some normal sugar <___base_url___>/uploads/emoticons/default_sad.png

Well, I didn't exactly do anything in my sacred garden, haven't for a long time..but I was thinking about it, my salvia in particular. So what I was thinking was in relation to the kind of experience I had when I chewed salvia for the first and only time. I did so late at night, on a full moon. Nothing much happened while I was conscious, then I fell asleep and had the first clear representative of an experience which is now extremely common to me. I'm not sure how to best describe the state, it's somewhere between dreaming, studying my own subconscious, and eaves dropping on an executive meeting which takes place within my own mind (about me) when I sleep. Now this experience is more common to me than dreaming. It's like some gnarly, highly personalised defragmentation process. Not sure if my correlations between this first chewy salvia time and all the other times are significant..but something tells me they are. Maybe this first experience set a programme running which my internal government thought suited their requirements quite nicely. Who knows... I'm enjoying these in~between different states of consciousness experiences tho. After my greenhouse broke I moved her into my lounge, not permenantly but will be sweet for winter. We're good buddies again now

Of course <___base_url___>/uploads/emoticons/default_smile.png you got it I am absolutely intending to write the book I would most like to read. It took me a while to realise no one else will. I'm definitely not gonna write a book just for the sake of it, and money is not the impetus at all. I have a career to support me, so i dont even care if it doesn't ever get published. Giving my imagination licence to run free is all that matters really. ..and I get to create 'hypothetical' mind-altering substances. It'll be set in the future, where almost all naturally occuring plants and animals have been intentionally wiped out, replaced by easily manipulatable biotech, largely engineered to monitor and moderate human internal-mental-emotional experience. The story probably begins with the gift of some extremely rare seeds from a long extinct psychotropic plant, which if taken regularly over a long enough period begin to break down the hypnosis programming running in the protagonists brain, allowing them to recognise the depravity of the pseudoutopia in which they live, and question if there might be something more meaningful awaiting.

Cheers team, good stuff to get the cogs turning.. Thanks very much for sharing your thoughts, esp. Sally! I am lucky to have had much of the plot, characters and themes revealed to me already through dreams and study of the archetypal and mythical symbolism within my own experiences and the inclinations of my imagination. It's a big world and a big story. It has been sitting there waiting for me to acknowledge it for a very long time. New ideas are morphing into existence to flesh out the framework at lighting speed, I just hope I can begin this and still continue having a normal human life...I already live in my imagination more than it is commonly accepted to do so. In-spirit, yep man you got it, I'm basically taking this on to grapple with the nature of my own fears, hopes and dreams surrounding the ever increasing depravity and corruption of human society, entangled with our obsessive complusion towards technological progress, which seemingly leads us to inevitable annihilation. The co-evolution of creation and destruction. The old ways eating the new. I won't say much more, other than yes there will be some heroics, and a regretfully large serving of tragedy. Wish me luck, and on-going sanity <___base_url___>/uploads/emoticons/default_tongue.png

I know there are a couple members here who have written books and I was wondering if anyone could give me a few snippets of advice on how to get started. I have a brain so full of ideas it sometimes feels like it will explode, and after having a three hour long vent to my mum last night about technological entrancement, global conquest by psychopaths, thinly masked dystopian nightmares, collective manipulation, technology that (supposedly) doesn't exist yet, precognitive dreams and the power of myth, I decided I would best put all this data to use in a science fiction/fantasy novel rather than continue to terrify my loved ones with my concerns. I know this is not an easy undertaking, and I'm still not certain I have the required talent to be a decent writer, but I have always loved writing and spent a fair amount of my teens building and perpetuating literary worlds with one of my closest friends. I gave up on the idea of being a writer about 16, when my interests diverged into less wholesome avenues, but my love of language remains, and old dreams which you left down the pipeline sometimes have opportunities to spring up again ...this is one of those. Basically I have no idea where to start or how to even get the ridiculous quantity of ideas out of my head. I was hoping someone might take pity on me and point me in a certain direction. Otherwise my approach will likely be to just start creating multitudes of mind-maps on different aspects I wanna cover and then identify common themes, parallels, polarities and central pillars of importance and weave these together in new mind-maps ...and continue repeating and refining this process over and over until I can see exactly what I'm dealing with. Obviously I'm not expecting to do this overnight, if I'm gonna do it, I want to do it properly. I'm thinking this would be most likely to occur gradually over the next ten years. Any advice would be much appreciated! Cheers

Hey bro, if you wanna have a chat about this sometime plz pm me, I thought about contacting ya after what I saw your post in the 'don't cha hate it when' thread recently, as I have some experience in these kinda situations but from a female perspective, I got suckered in and because of this I know some of the tricks they use. While I'm no expert, I just felt straight away that I should potentially talk to you about my experience as there were too many parallels for me to ignore. Either way tho, I don't mind not speaking to you about it, that's all g with me, but if you would appreciate a bit of insight from my hindsight then get it touch.

The Fountain - absolutely incredible film. Highest recommendation from me. I am inclined to think this film is the best I have watched thus far Curse of the Golden Flower - visually stunning, but also full of really potent and deeply twisted, convoluted social dynamics. Edit to add: Mr Nobody, Great film. Do watch it.

i agree with you mostly, but i also think *yes and no* i have considered this alot. in all honesty i have spent more than half my life around a psychopath and learnt alot from her about how to keep myself safe. what you say is correct, about their incessant need to connect (impose their reality onto your reality) and not allowing them to connect with you in this way is crucial, BUT you have to be careful not to polarize the situation by giving them any more or any less than any other joe average you encounter. i consider it similar to the way cats are drawn to people who hate cats. if they see that you are not willing to play their games, they will see a challenge, which (if you are not careful to be completely neutral around them) will intensify their desire to engage you. i think a form of indifference is the most suitable state. not giving them more, not giving them less, just treat them like they are nothing special and you wont be of much interest to them. when you find yourself in a space with them, avoid their engagement like the black plauge and they will want nothing more than to infect you. let them be, and leave when its appropriate.

Appearances can be deceiving man. if you can sense an air of psychopathy, it is most likely carried out through every area of the persons life.. they are probably just more well-versed in building positive perceptions of themselves in the context of their own family, perhaps even so effectively that their loved ones can be controlled and manipulated covertly and have little awareness of the abnormal power imbalance which dominates their lives. i am worried too. quite so. i think the best way to proceed is to be informed by our concerns but not let them entirely dominate our thought, feeling and action. kia kaha Zen Peddler.

river walking.. if you can find a stoney river somewhere in your week off. works great for me, especially if you can find a river which allows you to rock hop your way up stream. something about flitting from rock to rock ninja-style, against the flow of the water, centered in totality, not thinking just moving, seems to wash stress out of my system more effectively than anything else. i used to do this for hours. flowing water. fresh air. stretching your limbs. bare feet. bird song. who could hold onto their stress among that? ...although nz rivers dont have crocs, or dangerous spiders and snakes. not sure weather i'd be game for this off-shore. dunno about my suggestion now. but good luck and i hope you find what you need to zen out a bit.

i voiced some concerns to a friend yesterday evening about the reality (or seeming lack of) of all those blank eyed people i see out and about, she directed me to this.. no comment on where i stand now, im just confused but found it interesting http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Gc1mGdoHRg

*raising my metaphysical glass of bubbles to celebrate the continued presence of our most loved and revered, benevolent peace-keeper* you were the one who inspired my courage to speak out here when was i new and shy and had so much to say but no idea how to say it.. wish i had you're ability to say lots with not many words but hey, thanks for being you, i think we all need to be reminded how genuinely peaceful and fair human conducts themselves sometimes. you really truly are a pinnacle of good virtue, and i aint just saying that, you truly rock Amz. much respect and sparkly good-vibes to you gracious Spiritual Warrior. <___base_url___>/uploads/emoticons/default_smile.png

eewwwww.... but i really like moths...but eewwww, dunno if i will ever look at a moth the same now, thanks EG

Hi, kiwi person. ...whatever you wanna give me for them. i dont mind as long as i dont have to spend money getting them to you. too broke to do dat.

*bump* see first post for change of scenario

^ sentiment shared and reciprocated, refracted, reverberated. good vibes and much aroha from me, to all thee wayward wanderers of this world.

i dont know, but what you described reminded me alot of an experience i had after i nearly poisoned myself.. i came to an awareness of myself as a conciousness who had been idle, thoughtless, but aware, drifting in a deep, dark, limitless void of black nothingness for an eternity. it may have been a few minutes, a few hours, but for all i could determine, it felt like i had been there for eternity and when i die, it is to this formless emptiness that i (which is also formless emptiness) will return. i think knowing you are dead is harder than determining that you are not dead. reality checks. testing the limits of concieveable actions...can you push a spoon through your hand? can you see through walls? can you project your conciousness into the endless expanse of space and dive into a black hole, find out whats on the other side? i think writing on the corroboree is an unlikely thing for a dead person to be able to do...but then again, how would i know, i might be dead right now, surrounded by these dead-eyed uni students in a computer lab...i just hope my death isnt like this.. good question. hope you're feeling ok bud.

yeah..unfortunately, and i was quite effectively manipulated by said psychopath under the influence, used as a pawn in a deeply twisted and terrifying game, designed to hurt my partner at the time, and announce to our collective group of friends that we had all been fooled into glorifying this person as a god, when in reality their true nature was closer to that of a demon. the thing that for me defined the psychopathy was the intent, the planning, the knowledge of what would inneviatbly take place, and the skill with which such a fissard was constructed and carried out until that brutal moment of revelation, where we all realised we were living in a nightmare. - plz don't quote me I might edit this later.. Still makes me feel yuck thinking about it. We all got through it physically okay, some higher protective force really was at work, but it mentally fucked all participants of the escapade for quite a long time after.

True Detective fucking rocks. Through our eyes, the universe is perceiving itself. Through our ears, the universe is listening to its harmonies. We are the witnesses through which the universe becomes conscious of its glory, of its magnificence. - Alan Watts "You can't be a warrior part-time. You either are a warrior, or you're not a warrior" - Hone Harawera

Hold it in your gob as long as you can bear it....it's harder to stick it out than you would think...all those bubbles.... edit: woops i forgot the all important part of that sentence: then you spit it out i was distracted by the potent imagery, my memory of my chewing time, and that luxuriant green slime, illuminated by the light of the full moon, glowing blue-white-green....

Hi, welcome to the forum and Aotearoa! pm me if u looking to expand your collection any further, i can most likely help, esp if your interested in cacti ie: http://www.shaman-australis.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=38224

Rats. Well I packed up the carnage from my very own greenhouse disaster. No more greenhouse-dwelling, cactus-loving bogfrog. So I did this awesome mushroom rain dance a few days ago..and then it rained ALOT ...torrential rain for two days and two nights.... tooooo much rain, all the water collected in the roof of my tunnel house and the weight of it snapped all the plastic connectors and the roof caved in. Kaput. Finito. Dead. Totally un-salvageable <___base_url___>/uploads/emoticons/default_sad.png Luckily I didn't loose any thing too precious..just my favourite place to be but I guess I just gotta roll with the punches. Out with the old in with the new and whatnot.