dreamfromKville

[incognito]

7pm and the sun is setting on a quiet country town street. the air is still, and all is well. its quiet, always quiet.

no work tonight, its time to explore. no obligations or responsibilitys tonight, time for me to get back in touch with me, see whats really going on in my head.

draw the blinds in my room, freshly made bed, fluff the pillows, get relaxed. I feel good, so it would seem.

Mind open, lets peer inside. Mmm Kay, a sweet friend of mine, an eternal fan of dissasociatives.

Im relaxed, and looking forward to what unfolds. Im safe, in my bed. Phones off, doors locked, new shpongle sounds dance around my room.

This will be soooo relaxing and good, its what i need. To much on my mind.

Kay arrives slowly, but beautifully, like she always does for me. Treats me to the most amazing imagery which coincides and fluctuates with the shpongle rhythms. Wow these visuals are amazing! ive NEVER seen anything like this before, not with my friend Aya, Sally, Dimitri or Shroomy. Wow these are the most intense visuals i have ever seen! so real, realer than real, i can touch them, and they are speaking to me.

NOw they are saying goodbye, waving, the visuals taper off, into nothing. Now thats all there is. Nothing. I am Nothingness...in nothiingness. Its not even dark..that would be something. This is a void. What have i done? Whats going on?? Damn, that was short, maybee i will drift asleep, but i feel a sense of urgency starting to creep in...

BAM!

Now i am sitting in my car. How the fuck did i get here?? U dont go anywhere with Kay??? Man it looks weird out there. HOLY SHIT I FEEL WEIRD!!!!

well, this is my street, but its sooo dark, and sooo orange??? this is completely different to what my street is normally like. whats going on?

and whats going on with me??? man i feel strange, ive never felt like this before...ever.

this is somehow linked to kay.. i think. What did i do?? so many thoughts running through my head. Nah could there be? truth in the 2012 thing? FUCK the whole world has changed!!! i think i have just evolved conciously, like i have just flowered! theres no going back to my old life now.. i have to make my way in this new world, still the same world but different. This is the new epoch!! I bet the westerners have fucked it up, and 2012 is RIGHT NOW! I have to speak to someone,i need to find my bearings here, i need to learn how to move in this new world, i can hardly move my own arm!!! I begin laughing at the irony of my life, and how i knew it all along. Ive always been a concious being, i always knew i was the 'key' that was required to set the new world in motion. The world was waiting on ME!!! Well shit now its happened!! what to do now?? i need to find someone..

BAM

I am looking up into the nightsky. I cant move at all. I feel completely paralised. What the hell is going on? i was sitting in my car a second ago???

Man my head feels weird. The back of my head feels squelchy, and i can only really feel half of my face. What the fuck is going on??

I cant get up, i cant move!! geez theres some headlights on me, someone has pulled up!!! i can hear some muffled voices. shit, more cars are pulling up.

One with blinking lights?? I can hear people talking to each other... i wonder whats up here?? Man my head, it feels like the back of it is missing, Same as half of my face. FUCK!!! oh man... i think i have just tried to kill myself!!!!!!!!! ive come home, got out of the car, and blown myself away on my front porch!!!! this is how it happens!!!! ah shit this is my parents and family turning up, in their cars, the cops and ambos, everyone is standing around talking about what to do! my ex and daughter are on their way over to i think. Damn. I did it. No longer a fantasy.

Now my life flashes before my eyes, vividly. This is what happens, before you die, i think. God is reviewing my life. I think hes deciding whether its worthwhile keeping me here or not. Man i have done some bad things. I feel terrible. am genuinely sorry. I am repenting. I feel God. I am in his presence, the cars, the lights, they fade way. Its just me and God now. This is how it happens. Im not 100% sure if i do want to live. I think i may just stay with God. He seems okay, but i dont think hes convinced. Again i see the terrible things i have done, the sins ive commited. I am not a nice guy. Why the hell would god want an abomination like me here?? I slip, i dont want to live anymore. This is how it happens, If you dont want to live, in this situation before God, you dont. theres no second chance for me. Im dead. Now what.

I am in a grey cold carpark. I am laying on some grass. Its cold, hard grass. The grass is grey. Everything is grey. In this carpark there are other cars, with people in them. They are dead as well. We are waiting. Waiting to be alive again. Being dead is boring. I could be here forever. Waiting.

I am thinking about all the good things about being alive. All of the beauty in life. Family, friends, LIFE. How beautiful that seems now.

The dead people in their cars are thinking the same thing. How lucky you are to be alive. This is not the place to be, alone in this grey carpark..waiting...waiting...waiting... waiting to be alive again. join a family. smile. feel the plants growing, stand in the sunshine.

screw this damn deadmans carpark. I want to be alive damnit. This is the coldest and loneliest, uncaring place i have ever experienced.

shiiiit ...im looking back in the nightsky again. people murmuring to each other all around me. i can hear more cars pulling up.

this is serious. I really did it. Idiot. This is how it happens.

God is here again, i feel him around me, hes watching, as are the people who are milling around me, I cant see them, but i hear them, i know they are there. I cant move to look, and i dont want to move my head, as i know im in a bad way, i will make things worse.

I am really sorry for how ive lived my life, and i tell god, honestly, more honestly than i have ever been before. I am so sorry. This is how it happens.

for the first time in my life i am genuine. I am sorry and i want to live. God fogives me. I am crying. I ve never felt this before. I am forgiven!!!

God knows i am honest and genuine, and its only like this does he truly forgive. I am forgiven.God loves me. He always has, unconditionally i am new. But im dying.

I now must use my will to live, to survive. I want to live!!!

i hope the paramedics can save me. They are checking me out now. They are cautious, i must be in a bad way.

I am on an operating table now,i feel the lights beaming down on me, surgeons muttering. I must keep still, my head is in a bad way. i hope everything goes okay, i want to live so much. i have so much to do, so much beauty in my life i hadnt seen before....

kay starts slipping away, slowly slowly slowly.

i begin to feel my body again, i can move my fingers. my arms a little. maybee my head... SQUELCH! i better not do that again. best lay still for the surgeons, that sound in my head doesnt sound good, id say im missing the back of my head for sure.

things are feeling a little better, i can now move my arms, my legs a little. i dare not move my head. i cant hear any surgeons anymore, or any voices for that matter, whats going on? have they left me here?

i can see to the side now, no one there. whats going on? im still out the front of my place? surely not... shittt. this has just been kay all along! soon im sure i will come to in bed...wow k is weird shit.

ill lie here until im back in my bed, then ill know this has all been kays doing...

no im definately outside, i take it im not injured at all, and i feel my face to check for blood. nope..no blood. I dare lift my head now, SQUELCH! oh shit...i put my hand on the back of my head to check for blood, it feels gritty....hell my head has been on a pile of sand!!!!!!!!

i have no idea how i got out here, and what the fuck is my car doing on the road with the lights on????

i shake my head , in disbelief, get up as best i can, get in my car, remeber how to operate it, and drive it 4 metres back into my garage.

Walk, (well attempt to) back inside, sit down, light a cig, and wonder, to this day, how the hell i got outside, in a car, then lay in a pile of sand in my front yard.

end of fictional rant hahaha

[JDanger]

If only this weren't fictional, Erowid would dig this.

[edit] Good story, bro

Edited November 13, 2009 by JDanger

[C_T]

that was a great tale. Lucky the character didn't make it far in the car, could have turned out really badly...

[incognito]

damn str8

[GingaNinja]

awesome write up man. thanks

[Chiral]

Nice report, we need more tales and memories posted like that. I'm a bit slow at the moment and haven't worked out who the hell Kay is but I'm sure it'll come to me eventually. There is a similar report over at erowid where a geezer dosed some home made aya, has a huge puke and gets all nauseous, then smokes some bud...he thinks the brew has been purged too much and is not going to work, so he gets in his car and goes for a short drive to get some food...then while he is out BAM...

read the whole report HERE.

[MORG]

Shit man. I couldn't read that fast enough. I got so impatient and anxious about your dream I just wanted to know it without having to spend the few minutes reading it.

I'm glad it ended where it did. Scared the shit out of me and it wasn't even my dream.

Bests to you my man.

[Birdwing]

Nice story man....Glad it all worked out ok.

Reminds me why that shit makes me cringe.

[The Dude]

wow. now that is an out of body experience if ever i read one. Nice write up, cheers for sharing!