My heart & thoughts go out to you Optical Light. I've just recently gone through a breakup myself, and I too was doing the breaking up & walking away. This thread is about wat you're going through so i wont bog it down in details of my past relationship, but I see some similar themes. And yes it really sucks to break someone's heart, especially when you want to help the other person with their personal issues in life but deep down you know that you're not really in the right position to be doing that. Sometimes its just best to walk away and trust in the universe that your ex will work things out for themself. Im in my early 20s, still a youngin, and dealing with emotional pain is usually at the top of my list of challenges. So knowing I had to be the causer (however direct or indirect) of so much pain for a beatiful soul I would've liked to have saved from much despair, was a very tough hurdle indeed. The major lesson in it for me, which has been echoed by other posters of your thread, is you have to be honest about how you feel. In the end it does no benefit to either party if you cant express wat your true feelings are, because in the end the truth has to come out and the house of cards you built to try save the other from hurting will come crashing down. Honest may be the best policy but it sure aint fucking easy! You say your ex is intelligent and confident so I've no doubt that, given time, he'll work through watever he needs to to get him over this significant bump in lifes path You say he has family around him and i'm glad he does, because when it comes to matters of the heart sometimes all you want is those closest to you. (There's nothing like being half way round the world, gettin ur ass dumped, and having no close friends or family to turn to...) All the best OL. Go easy on yourself, be strong. This hectic shit we call life will work itself out. You just gotta tought it out sometimes. Peace