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Finally a place to post all the most important, crucial, critical, consequential, and concerning news of the moment.

 

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you   ** NEWS FLASH!! **

 

 

 

Guess I better go first. This is critically important, people. Someone could DIE!!! 

 

enjoy...

 

 

 

Vile sicko caught on CCTV groping jogger mum’s bum as cops launch manhunt

https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/674597/mum-grope-bum-jogger-Queensland-Australia-video-Jesse-Ratu

 

 

 

 

Edited by Halcyon Daze
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Hmmm I hate to say this out loud but there is the inner cynic screaming at me thinking this is a publicity stunt for Instagram and social media likes. 

Why the need to contact news.com.au instead of staying out of the way and let the police do their work.

Will have to wait for charges to be laid I suppose.

GIYF I suppose aswell after a short search 

http://www.goldcoastbulletin.com.au/news/gold-coast/southport-groper-charged-with-sexual-assault-after-turning-himself-into-police/news-story/41915f81dfb0abb854d71f0728be21c9

Edited by Siggor
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Ass- ault!?!? Thassa bleedin' outrage innit!

 

I'm a bit suss too. It's all a bit too perfect. Anyway, he was prolly just trying to hit on ( literally) someone who he thought was putting herself out on the market. You know some gurls these days...

 

Seriously tho, some girls may have even hung it out for more smacks. Nothing shocks me in this day and age, just have a look at what's on Kanye's music clips :P

 

Anyway, he didn't exactly hit her that hard or anything. I know it's competely wrong but He was just trying to pay her a compliment and try his luck on her IMO. When she ran upstairs screaming he was like 'Oh shit, now i'm fukt!'

 

WE'VE ALL BEEN IN THAT SITUATION! You know, done something totally brainless that somehow seemed like a good idea at the time. 

 

He just got his execution all wrong , If yer gonna do something as sleezy as that at least try n get some smack-ripple for the boys n girls watching at home. How else can you quantitatively measure the 'fine-ness' of some random ass?

 

'In for a penny, in for a pound,' I say... :P

Edited by Halcyon Daze
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http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2018/01/17/president-trump-reveals-winners-his-fake-news-awards.html

 

NEWS FLASH HOT OFF THE WIRE!!



Below is the full list of winners of the 2017 Fake News Awards.

1)     The New York Times’ Paul Krugman claiming markets would ‘never’ recover from Trump presidency

Display nothing; This is on Publish with no configured Image

2)     ABC News' Brian Ross’ bungled report on former national security adviser Michael Flynn

3)     CNN report that the Trump campaign had early access to hacked documents from WikiLeaks

4)     TIME report that Trump removed a bust of Martin Luther King, Jr. from the Oval Office

5)     The Washington Post’s Dave Weigel tweeting that Trump’s December rally in Pensacola, Florida, wasn’t packed with supporters

6)     CNN’s video suggesting Trump overfed fish during visit with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe

7)     CNN’s retracted report claiming Anthony Scaramucci-Russia ties

8)     Newsweek report that Polish First Lady Agata Kornhauser-Duda did not shake Trump’s hand

9)     CNN report that former FBI Director James Comey would dispute President Trump’s claim he was told he was not under investigation

10)  The New York Times report that the Trump administration had hidden a climate-change study

11)  In Trump’s words, "‘RUSSIA COLLUSION!’ Russian collusion is perhaps the greatest hoax perpetrated on the American people. THERE IS NO COLLUSION!”

 

BREAKING NEWS!!!

 

EXTRY EXTRY READ ALL ABOUT IT

 

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On 1/17/2018 at 9:45 PM, Halcyon Daze said:

Finally a place to post all the most important, crucial, critical, consequential, and concerning news of the moment.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you   ** NEWS FLASH!! **

 

Guess I better go first. This is critically important, people. Someone could DIE!!! 

 

enjoy...

Vile sicko caught on CCTV groping jogger mum’s bum as cops launch manhunt

https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/674597/mum-grope-bum-jogger-Queensland-Australia-video-Jesse-Ratu

 

Cheeky AF!

 

I've had chicks do worse things to me at clubs... :o

 

Who do I call? I didn't realise I had been assaulted, I thought people were just like that.

 

 

Edited by Northerner
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You nailed it Northener, makes me wanna dob in my old female teacher who held the door open for me and then felt my ass as I walked through. WTF??

 

I think she was cracking a joke, but I just got confused LOL

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Yeah mate, even after a lifetime of counseling it's not something that you ever get over.

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LOL, yeah I shoulda had her sacked! Her life would be fukt and I would feel so much better about myself. HOW DARE SHE!!!

 

I think I need a government pension for all the trauma.

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All this talk about school teachers molesting kids reminds me of Lenny Longprong.

 

Lenny had a really big dick, it was so big he could lick the cheese out from under his own foreskin.

After hearing about Lenny's big dick his greedy teacher decided she wanted it for herself, so she made him stay in after class

After all the other students had left she tried work her spell on him

Is it true that you have big dick Lenny ?

Well, as a matter of fact I do

Can you show me Lenny?

Lenny loved showing off his enormous slug, so he whipped it out for her to have a look

Upon seeing it the teacher ripped her undies off, hiked up her skirt and said

Stick it in here

Lenny jumped back with a worried look on his face and said

My mum told those things are dangerous

Don't be silly Lenny, get that broomstick and give it a bit of a prod, you'll see it's harmless..

Lenny picked up the broomstick and began nervously inching it closer & closer to his teachers twat

Just as he was about to make contact the teacher let out a ripper fart

Lenny jumped back and dropped the broomstick trembling in fear

What's wrong Lenny?  asked the teacher

If it will growl at a piece of wood imagine what it will do to a piece of meat.

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Fk'n Chinamen replicating everything for a tenth of the price we can do it, now monkeys too!

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NEWS FLASH!  

 

Scientists have found a way to convert human waste into a Vegemite-like food for astronauts

 

http://www.news.com.au/technology/science/space/scientists-have-found-a-way-to-convert-human-waste-into-a-vegemitelike-food-for-astronauts/news-story/3110e822c58df77e0db5f71ddbe01200

 

ASTRONAUTS on missions to Mars and beyond could soon survive off a “Vegemite-like” substance made from human waste.

Scientists have just developed the method which uses microbes to break down solid and liquid waste.

What’s left behind is a “microbial goo” that’s high in protein and fat — essential qualities for food sources needed for long space voyages.

 

“It’s a little strange, but the concept would be a little bit like Marmite or Vegemite, where you’re eating a smear of ‘microbial goo’.”

 

 

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I can just imagine the paper when they start testing it on humans

 

Abstract

In a double blind study researchers fed shit smeared on toast to one group of astronauts and Vegemite to another and a control group was fed plain toast. for a period of 7 days. After 7 days the substance smeared on the toast that was fed to each group was changed and this was repeated until each group had eaten the Vegemite, shit and plain toast.

Except for one Australian,  the astronauts couldn't tell the difference between the shit & the Vegemite and most of the astronauts preferred plain toast

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

When I was and I asked my dad what we having for tea or lunch etc he'd say "shit sangas" but we've run out of bread.

 

The shit-mite could make it a reality

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!!!NEWS FLASH!!!

 

Woman alleges Barnaby Joyce 'drunkenly pinched her bottom' after awards ceremony

https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/nsw/woman-alleges-barnaby-joyce-drunkenly-pinched-her-bottom-after-awards-ceremony/news-story/54409242cf0d1e411e60532eb90312ce

 

 

 

38637d00f50c10e31654ef351e02ff22?width=1024

 

LOL

 

 

1502761645411-e1510273767883.jpg

 

 

Edited by Halcyon Daze
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You couldn't write this stuff...

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7 hours ago, Halcyon Daze said:

NEWS FLASH!!! :P

 

Humongous wild boar dubbed 'PIGZILLA' caught rummaging through bins 'just a few feet from primary school'

 

Terrifying-moment-a-giant-feral-boar.jpg

 

 

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/humongous-wild-boar-dubbed-pigzilla-12011991

 

 

 

 

 

1b2.png

a humungous wot!?!

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