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<-- I hereby declare my gardening n00b status-- it's been a couple of years since I've attempted growing anything, but the urge is getting stronger. I've found a nursery stocking A. maidenii locally, and am considering procuring a few for a long-term native garden project... It seems that growing them in pots is possible, but not conducive to optimal growth/plant happiness beyond a certain point... How d'ya think they'd fare in a pot for 9 months or so whilst I figure out if I'm going to stay put in my current abode or not-- will planting them out thereafter stunt their growth? Anybody had any luck growing them in the Eastern suburbs/Ranges area? I'm in the foothills but temperatures will probably be 1-2 degrees less than average over the winter months. Thanks!

Thanks heaps for the continued dialog, I've been returning to the content of this thread a lot during my working days. I must say, I've met some challenges in regards to meeting others with compassion in some instances, but have also strengthened my bonds with other workmates. One of the more pernicious tendencies I gravitate towards is anger under stress, and the attempt to justify my position in context to disputes in the workplace. @Mapacho, your advice regarding the cultivation of metta was very timely, and was very much a lightbulb moment as to 'what to do now.' I find the unsustainable part of my practice to be 'going for broke,' focusing on entirely spiritual contemplation, which turns the outside world into an annoyance and hinderance, and very much increases my tendency to dissociate. If we're to talk of raga/dvesha, my primary attachment is to the ideal of a wholesome life in the country, and aversion to the mechanical/industrial monstrosity of the suburbs. In light of that, it comes as no surprise that I have been drawn to a series of warehousing jobs. I'm very well aware that I will keep repeating the cycle until I learn the lesson, and the development of loving kindness in the context of a harsh industrial environment with all of its' loud noise and frenzied activity is actually what I need at this point in my life. I am often very quick to complain that I feel an attenuated sense of 'love,' or an inability to connect with my heart as such; I feel compelled to explore that further and figure out why. That, of course, is an ongoing process, focused as much as anything on shifting the locus of control back to centre in regards to the way I interact with others in the day to day. I happened across the concept of Nonviolent Communication last night, which I think will serve as a good launching point (ie from the intellect inwards,) from which to explore further. It seems like a satisfactorily tough exercise to undergo, particularly putting these principles into practice without expecting anybody else to change their ways to accommodate the epiphanies I've already had in reading about it. It seems quite close to a lot of the Buddhist teachings from what I've read, and is very likely based on it. Buddhism seems a bit more practical in regards to applying to everyday life as compared to the more extreme forms of Hinduism I've been drawn to-- maybe it's time I look into it a bit more, as my desire to be a part of the world rather than away from it is increasing. As for the Jhanas, I'm still intrigued. I have no way of telling if some of the 'peak' experiences I've had fit within that framework-- so maybe that simply means, I haven't hit the threshold yet

Yay, replies! I like hearing about the paths others have been drawn to. @manuel, I can relate-- I have to be careful with my meditation practice as I have the tendency to become very unstable and, as much as I hate to admit it, semi-consciously use it as a tool for dissociation rather than integration. Hours and hours of mantra repetition etc. I've had to scale it back as it became very apparent that I was incredibly unbalanced. Too much of a good thing, who'da thought? I'm a bit confused about the concept of the jhanas-- how does one know when they've reached the first or other stages? Is it a constant in your meditation, ie do you progressively find yourself returning to a similar state, picking up where you left off? @Mapacho, I feel that, if it were actually a viable life path in Australia, I would definitely be living as a monastic. I've had to concede to the idea that, karmically, the option just isn't available to me for a reason, as in-- I'm not meant to be there at this stage. I had to accept this quite begrudgingly after trying for about a year to seek out a lifestyle that would allow me to follow that path. Now I just have the sneaky idea that perhaps, if I fulfill my wordly obligations, I might be able to piss off into the forest in my later years. I'm also doing my best to cultivate my moral character and find a good middle-ground approach to meditation and living in the world. I've definitely learned that being too focused on meditation makes it excruciatingly difficult to function in society, which has shown me exactly why monastics are required to live in that way. One may realise more about the fundamental nature of reality, but that juxtaposed with the absurdity of modern life makes it impractical to practice- for me at least. My psychologist suggested looking into shamanism, so I've been doing a bit of reading on it lately. I'm still a bit lost as to where to start with finding reliable/factual information on the subject as, where I'm living, all I can find is this 'core shamanism' rot which seems to be new-age cultural appropriation and a great way to make shit-tons of cash. Do you have any reading recommendations? Thanks!

Keep collecting what you've written, the way you present these posts could easily be published as a collection of short essays I'd support it!

Sorry to dick you around, it turns out I'm not quite as flush as I thought. (ie I could, but probably shouldn't.) On the plus side I found some T. bridgesii at my local plant market, so I still get some pretty cactus flowers to admire... One day

Are these still up for grabs, @squidgygoanna?

THAT'S WHAT THAT FUCKING THING IS I've seen a flashing light waaaay up in the sky, too high to be a plane, a few times over the last few months... Huh. Kills the conspiracy a little

Don't ya hate it when you've taken to flipping a coin when conflicted over binary decisions, and have committed to following the outcome... Then you find out about a pretty lavish looking doof with at least a little bit of dark psy being played, balls-out projection mapping etc etc... Knowing that there are many factors involved, eg driving 700km in order to go there when you really should spend that money on new tires before your car leaves the road in the wet one day, risking ones' licence when the authoritah inevitably sets up a party van on the way out because you're a derelict who couldn't just go to have fun, etc etc and so committing to the Coin for answers... Then the coin tells you to get fucked and you're staying home. Don't ya hate it when you deleted your Facebook account years ago and have missed out on every doof since because doofs are only promoted on Facebook these days and you lost all your doofing contacts when you deleted your Facebook account, thus resulting in an endless ironic cycle of being out of the underground loop because you don't follow mass media, therefore missing out on any potential to listen to sweet sweet dark psy outdoors... Wait, hang on... DON'T YA HATE IT WHEN NOBODY ELSE LIKES DARK PSY AND EVERY EVENT EVER IS FUCKING TECHNO DON'T YA HATE IT WHEN THE ONE PERSON YOU'VE MET IN THE LAST 2 YEARS WHO EVEN KNOWS WHAT DARK PSY IS SAYS, 'OH YEAH, I LIKE DARK AND DIRTY GROOVES,' AND YOU REALISE THAT THEY THINK 145BPM IS FAST DON'T YA HATE IT WHEN EVEN WHEN PEOPLE SAY THERE'S DARK PSY IT HITS 150 AND EVERYONE CLEARS THE FLOOR SO SUDDENLY IT TURNS INTO GODDAMNED TECHNO AGAIN DON'T YA HATE REMEMBERING HOW GOOD NOISE POISON WAS BECAUSE IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN ...Don't ya hate it when you think you can handle not smoking dope but after three+ weeks you still can't sleep and don't feel any better AT ALL, in fact you're pretty sure you feel worse... Don't ya hate it when you've been going around all 'I don't need that shit I'm high on life' like an arse Don't ya hate waiting for medical to become a reality in Australia because you know it works for you, allows you to function better in society and be more productive because it curbs your profound and cyclic worry/self-criticism/loathing Don't ya hate hating yourself for thinking that because of the life-long cultural conditioning you've been subjected to creating intense internal conflict Is it not that you hate good sir or madam your own self for feeling all out of control with the keyboard like you're making a massive dick of yourself when you're probably not but it feels so real that you are It is that you do not, verily, be liking that the intense rush of energy you felt about an hour ago means that you've got slim to fuck all chance of getting sleep AGAIN Is to be not good feeling on account of knowing you've got another day of work to get through and you've been making a lot of simple mistakes performing a task you could train a primate to do on account of getting fuck all sleep ...Thank you.

Sorry Glaukus, couldn't help myself... That's fucking terrifying. I feel like this thread should be happening around a campfire. I've had many experiences of being watched or mildly toyed with in the bush, always by indigenous spirits. I've never seen an apparition as such; the closest I've had was near Nimbin in 2005. I was clearing an overgrown patch of land with a machete for my host and started to feel like someone was throwing stones or something past my ear, just clipping it. It was just on dark and I kept looking up, trying to find the insect that was messing with me. It kept happening, and I looked up towards a parting in the trees heading down towards a valley. I had the sensation of my eyes trying to focus on something that wasn't there, ie they wanted to focus on something directly between two trees, and could feel an aboriginal man standing there and staring at me in a very threatening/accusatory fashion. I got out of there very quickly and tried to laugh it off with the host. She said, 'Ahh yeah, they're the Min Min; this place belongs to them but they let us use it during the day. I never go outside at night.' I guess that's a bit off topic; I was quite profoundly stoned but have had many experiences like that without intoxication. I assume you're looking for stories of completely fantastic situations, @Thelema? I'll stop hijacking your thread now

Oh yeah, great topic. Hopefully more people take the bait, this stuff scares the crap out of and intrigues me in equal measures. When I was 16/17 I was lying in bed, from memory not having taken anything, and somehow conjured up an image of a Ganesha-type figure; dark-skinned, dressed in a reaaaally pretty red robe with gold trim, golden eyes, very much 3-dimensional. He remained for some time unbidden, then somehow faded out or transitioned into something else... I think that experience lies at the lower threshold of 'entity contact' as there was no communication, though he remained even when I was unable to maintain focus on him. I recall knowing that it was a once-in-a-lifetime manifestation and was devvied when he left. Come back, Ganesha EDIT: This occured at a time when I was using psilocybin on a weekly/bi-weekly basis; I wasn't under the influence at the time but attributed the experience to the lingering effects of its' use.

If it's any consolation @Anodyne, I know that feeling all too well. Mine lasted over a year which eventually led to somewhat of a shift and finally I could just get on with life. Whilst I'm still a pretty fucked unit I don't want to go back to that state and am solid in my resolve. I could very easily just lie down and not get up though, but yeah. I wish I could say it's all sunshine and bullshit but it turns out that I was hiding from something pervasive and permanent within my psyche. The look on my psychologist's face when I asked her, 'it'll be over sometime right?' was priceless. Ahh well, fuck it. Someday I'll get to where I want to be (forest!!) and it'll get easier yet again. My best wishes to you; I don't know your situation at all but hopefully just having some kind of solidarity helps.

Love these pieces, very totemic in nature. They resemble sigils to me, perhaps you're becoming more and more tuned in to the relationship between these plants on a subconscious level. The composition's brilliant, both communicate some kind of ascendance/rising to me. Very nice

That's some handy information, thanks! It must be an awesome privilege to have a second home in PNG. Good luck with the construction and council hoop-jumping, I'm really interested to hear how it all comes together. Cheers for the input, that's given me quite a bit to think over. Much appreciated

...So I can stop fantasising about moving up there In all seriousness, I spent a month or so in Glennifer/Bellingen and loved it, the rivers up there are so curiously emerald green/turquoise (How ya doin' that, river??) and my god it's so lush and full of weird-arsed spiders and snakes and paralysis ticks and all this other stuff we don't have in Victoria 'cus it's too damned cold ;) I have it in my head that the area from Coffs up to Queensland, if it were on a ye olde mappe kind of thing, would have 'here be hippies' written on it and a drawing of a large tryptamine dragon. My experience in the Bellingen area and further North, ya know, the N word, that place you hear about when you're a kid as being like the Disneyland of cooked, and you get there and it totally is but you imagine that it might be a sinkhole for human brains if one isn't careful, was... Well, I have it in my head that I might be able to find the lifestyle that I want (growing my own food, meditating as much as my kitten-mind will allow, practising self-reliance to such a degree that I can basically work enough to pay rent, bills and food and throw the rest into savings,) in a picturesque location and ideal climate, with the attendant hilarity of coming to terms with sharing my space with big piss off snakes etc etc... With access to a community who may or may not have a similar belief system, but at the very least can be a positive influence on my further growth and encourage my latent sense of creativity to become more prominent. I feel it necessary to stress that I am doing 'the work' as we speak- I already tried to make a break for it a couple of years back but wasn't able to find work and still had a heavily entrenched cigarette and take-away coffee habit which basically killed all my fundage. The lesson learned was a practical application of the old adage, 'wherever I go, there I am.' Wherever I end up from here, I'm making the most of my present situation to get over all the remnants of my previous, incredibly unhealthy lifestyle. So, am I dreaming? It seems so off-the-chain BEAUTIFUL up there; I'm not under the illusion that it's shangri-la or anything, but it seems like there's a heavy concentration of organic, holistic types. I've also been told that it can be pretty hard to get 'in' socially, largely because of the amount of people who have gravitated to the area in the last 40-50 years who start off good then get on it and have full-blown psychotic episodes etc. Your thoughts?

Signing up for notifications I'm down for a meet and/or a camp... Something tells me that Camp Shaman Australis would be a pretty entertaining site for families etc sharing the space

I've had the opportunity to visit and stay on a couple of communes for short periods, I'm definitely open to the idea if I can find somewhere that isn't following a specific dogma, overly politicised or drug-focused. I'm admittedly quite pessimistic by nature, but it seemed that 2 of the 3 communes I've been in contact with spent more time bickering over which direction to go in, rules, gossip etc than actually being free... It seems that by nature, hyoomans seem to gravitate towards drama If I could find somewhere that would let me be a semi-hermit and contribute some to property maintenance and a sense of community without being under intense scrutiny I'd be all over it! As you say though, finding work in that situation becomes a bit of a tough ask, especially when it's 50km to the nearest town and one isn't earning enough coin to keep their vehicle maintained. All the more reason to take my time and truly evaluate-- I get the impression from talking to locals that the path only becomes clear once you get to know people a bit and you start to receive the grace of the community. It's seeming a bit more real/possible already though EDIT: Hah, just had a quick look on realestate.com.au and found a couple of listings under $200k for a few acres' worth and a description saying 'includes a shed so you have some shelter whilst you build your dream home!' Photos are of a pretty standard-looking off-grid/commune setup- is it relatively standard practice to live in what is termed a shed/storage by the council? I found two properties that said the same thing, do councils tend to turn a blind eye to hippie types living it up in the bush? The plot thickens...

You've pretty much sold me in a single post ;) My current plan is to see a stint out at my current place of employment until the end of August, get a solid reference and then try to find a short-term contract up in NNSW-- maybe a month or two-- and go for a working holiday right when the onslaught of winter gets depressing down South. That's giving me something short-term to look forward to, and I could possibly squeeze some more WWOOFing in to get to know people in different areas. I think I need to spend a bit more time in that climate etc to see whether it's really for me or if I'm just idealising the concept. It will also make the process of getting funds together a bit more fun, as I tend to get itchy feet and I *know* that I really just need to apply myself to getting money together in order to make any future move viable... and that it will take longer than I might like I'm genuinely impressed that your journeys have led you to discover new species of flora and fauna and allow for travel. I've denied myself this kind of experience purely out of ignorance- not realising that I can make these things happen for myself. I appreciate the reply, very much so, and thank you for your advice re: keeping it clean. Somehow I don't think that I would feel as accomplished if I took that route, though it may well become tempting at some point. I'll keep your words in mind

I think I'm following you here-- I've arrived at the conclusion that 'spirit' is energy which exists on a spectrum that we, as humans, don't have the ability to measure yet-- in the way that ultraviolet radiation was unmeasurable up until recently. 'Spirituality' to me is simply a catch-all for 'who fuckin' knows-' concepts too vast for our tiny little minds to comprehend. I am quite resolute in my belief that our existence (humanity,) is a statistical inevitability- the result of an incalculable number of chemical/energetic/whatever reactions occuring over an incomprehensible period of time. Perhaps what people experience on the Dimmy Trims (I must admit, I am not Experienced; I'm fascinated beyond belief but not currently in a position to challenge the status quo of my day-to-day life ...) re: entities and such is a glimpse into the vast possibility of what is, or what may be. There is no inherent purpose to life, we're just here... Which is the hardest thing to deal with, and why we all have such heavily exaggerated coping mechanisms. This initially struck me as incredibly depressing, until I realised some years later that it actually affords ultimate freedom. The only purpose to life is that which we create for ourselves. As to where it all comes from, I have absolutely no idea just the belief that you, and I, the frogs and birds and plants outside my window, my desk and all the hideously condensed energy comprising my laptop and the Intarwub waves flowing from my USB dongle share the same basic 'consciousness' by virtue of our very existence. I enjoy very much the concept of nirguna brahman; formless, pre-verbal, comprising all of the energies, principles and practices of the universe including itself in one mind-bendingly inaccessible mental construct. Even the attempt of constraining it within the term 'brahman' is a misnomer as everything that ever was, is or could be at the state before it attains corporeality is implied. What I like the most about arriving at this point of view is that it allows me some flexibility in my experience of the world... for example, there's no reason that I have to entirely discount something such as ESP, as it could possibly be a way of perceiving things which lie outside a spectrum of 'energy,' for lack of a better term, that most can perceive. The main conclusion I have arrived at is simply that there is no vengeful creator God hating on me every time I rub one out, or calling the shots and dishing out preferential treatment. Human spirit may well hang around after death, transmigration of the soul may well be a thing... There's just no reason for it. This is a rambling summary of where I am at right now. Come speak to me again in a year and no doubt I'll tell you something different

Love all these photos I'll have to get the camera out and contribute. I'm living about as close to the border of suburbia and rurality (??) as possible, beautiful place but a very noisy main road out the front I can't complain (well, not too much ) but I'm definitely looking forward to finding somewhere that will allow me to get a-cultivatin' -- my landlords are impeccably neat and probably wouldn't appreciate my style of gardening (free-for-all...) I'll be settling for some hanging baskets once I figure out what I want to grow

I enjoyed this when I first watched it some years ago (this is part 1/4,) but admittedly found it a bit hard to stomach when I tried to re-watch last year. It has some awesome visuals (mostly seemingly captured from Electric Sheep?) but the conclusion, about all fields of inquiry into the Nature of Reality™ amounting to the same principle being approached by different means, really grabbed me. The part that stuck with me was the section in part 3 or 4 about the depiction of haloes in religious art worldwide, including that of the indigenous Australians, and kundalini shakti... or whatever one wishes to call it. The latent, seemingly infinite source of energy within all life. The quality's terrible on this one, but is one of my favourites. Following the adventures of an Aghori sadhu as he follows the steps necessary to become a fully-fledged member of the sect, including and not limited to acquiring his human skull begging bowl, eating the flesh of bodies being cremated at the ghat he calls home and using the ashes of said bodies to decorate himself in emulation of his beloved Shiva. Interestingly, though not covered in the documentary, datura is one of Shiva's sacred plants, and is apparently favoured by members of this particular sect, who indulge in any number of taboo and impure actions in repudiation of the Brahmanical ideal of impurity, which has resulted in the subjugation of millions. Suddenly these shit-eating, booze-swilling mendicants are revealed to be acting in the greater interest of humanity, which I do find entertaining. Naturally, however, they are shunned by the majority. It should be noted that I find his guru much more suspect and creepy than the subject of the documentary himself, who more than anything just seems to be incredibly devoted and almost makes the Aghori's incredibly confronting behaviour seem reasonable. (I said almost )

I'm sorry to hear that man, hope you are able to get back into it soon and your health improves. The thought of falling majorly ill before achieving my goals, and thus rendering all this time spent trying to fit into society useless, scares the shite out of me. I guess that's a pretty common experience however. On the subject of cabin pr0nz, Boinga Bob's joint in Warburton pretty much takes the cake:

...Ones' brain shifts into 'able to care for self adequately' mode That's right body, we're having dinner tonight!

Thank you, I'm really enjoying reading your posts. There's a lot to digest but I'll try and incorporate some of the plants you've recommended into my own healing.

Awesome, thank you both! That's enough of a recommendation for me... I tend to bend notes unintentionally so that might prove handy