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  1. Yesterday
  2. I've been continuing this quite awhile hoping it would make a standalone anti-depressant option for me. The seasonal shift has been intense for me. If anything, it's brought some stability but actually confronted me with new levels of existential distress That classic K10 question "how often did you feel worthless" so pressing... this scary crushing sense of my mortality imbuing this impetus to do things worthwhile and positive even when things are a struggle. Normally, I'd be in quite a suicidal state, where you're actually encouraging that process of death to hurry up but when you start seeing the bigger picture, in a more clear-headed and less pathological state of mind... Coming out of that seemingly super-inflammatory state - I strongly believe inflammatory mediators, as research suggests, strongly promote a general trade-off towards focusing on immediate (often maladaptive) versus delayed (often more eudaimonic) outcomes while leading from everything to mood issues, anger problems to impulsivity - has been strange, not being pepped pathologically, forcing me to be reconsidering what the hell I'm doing with life. It's not easy finding that meaning, purpose and contribution when you're not feeling the greatest but I'm trying to make small positive vibrational shifts. Probiotic turmerics, even with saffron, is not providing good stable uplift - Been sticking with it, hoping the mood support would be adequate.. It's easing some symptoms but the mood has been incredibly 'sanely depressing'. Been trying to give the anhedonic, anergic, apathetic moods a kick in the arse by keeping up exercise (it's reduced in vigour as I'm just so drained), gardening and exerting meaning and purpose but it's not working very well. Been chipping away at incremental meaningful stuff but plagued by quite an intense and anergic dysphoria, at best anhedonia - what I was trying to keep on top of and had slight success for a bit... Been painfully fighting the inner death drive with lots of potting up plants for others and propagating things that will hopefully cope with the weather, sounds small but all I can manage. The "life output" trays are filling up again, trying to give the barrage of morbid looping thoughts the finger but it's a battle. Trying to assert some simple meaning and break my mind from the loops of depressogenic thoughts, maintain some behavioural activation even though it's so energetically hard, haven't had a energetic shift like this in a long time. Been a long time without my serotonin transporters occupied and continual serotonergics... finding aiming for the social can amplify things the wrong way at the moment, yet trying to not get extra disconnected.
  3. Yeah I sort of came to the conclusion it probably needs longer term dosing over acute. At 3g I got mild effects improved sleep quality (with atypical vivid dreams) but I'm not the best test subject. I don't know how stable the galphimines are thermally but I probably wouldn't smoke, if anything "The plant’s dried leaves and flowers are macerated in alcohol and shaken by hand to obtain the required potency." [1] That said, I had someone with diagnosed GAD try it and they found it gave them an early sleep and said "Definitely find it calming". Maybe if there's nothing too pathological, like hyper-excitability etc, it's not too effective?
  4. so do heroin addicts consume a lot of meat? are they carnivorous largely? What about meth?
  5. Had a cup of tea with the leaves this evening. Around about 5 g chopped fine an left to steep in hot water for about 20 min. Very mild effects but seems to be a little bit anxiolytic and a slightly stronger, but still very mild sedative effect. I read that paper comparing between galphimine B and lorazepam, and can't see anywhere near the same effect as any benzo from an acute dose. Perhaps it needs to be chronic treatment like in that paper to get a reliable effect? At least for me.... am sort of leaning more to the placebo effect over any acute dosage benefits. Or maybe tea is the wrong method? Might try smoking next time?
  6. Wow Eth, thanks to YOU for that tip. That's exactly what I'll do myself. Why didn't I think of that. Cheers mate
  7. fuck knows what it was but there is absolutely shit loads of reports of that kind of thing in that region as you possibly know having mentioned the ming ming lights
  8. im no katcoose expert but lately( last 3 years or so) I have spend winter(oz) planting the little seeedlings that didn't even get a look in summer for up-potting. I dioont water them, just polant em uyop in sliuhghtly laerger pots. thgen by spri g they rerally get a jump on life. (thanks) to @Change for thtat tip .x
  9. Hey! I was wondering if anyone had any Crocus sativus bulbs available for sale or trade? I would love to get into saffron farming - Cheers!
  10. Mmmhmm, i've seen one of the guys deep throat a pretty significantly sized caterpillar. It was painful to watch.
  11. Hi, looking for some prints, culture or mycelium of the Subaeroginosa (eastern states variety, not w.a) for microscopy purposes. Only looking for domestic within Australia.
  12. i'd also say not to underestimate the size of insect that even a small frog can eat
  13. Most farmers hear will happily let you hunt vermin on their land, 20 years ago they would even pay for your ammo.
  14. I used to use small moths from the garden for my baby geckos and also springtails. Easiest thing though is to buy baby wood roaches or even easier to breed your own.
  15. Hi, Picked up this little guy yesterday, unhelpfully labelled "Cactus". It's about 10cm tall. Can anyone reveal it's true identity from the picture? And it would also help me greatly if you could say what distinguishing features led to your diagnosis. Thanks in advance!
  16. Yep, just not going to have space for them all here at my place But having too many cacti is never a problem . I'll probably end up giving containers of year-old seedlings to friends so that they can repot them themselves or put them right in their gardens. If I had access to a large amount of land, i'd plant thousands of them in the ground. But all I have is a suburban sydney backyard..... for now!
  17. Last week
  18. Was definately white light. Strange how my mates saw it an hour or so earlier. Even stranger is that the Corona did resemble Rob Lowes quiff.
  19. MemoHarem
  20. Crested Lophos
  21. Okay, I know that this graft while there is an actual union here, it is a slim one at best. However, I thought what a perfect graft to show one method I deal with such imperfections. Admittedly, I find that small crested grafts tend to suffer this phenomenon more than any other type of graft, all grafts are susceptible to it as no one is perfect 100% of the time 100% of the time. Now that we are done with the excuses and the crying, here is my simple fix. Some notes on the above graft, there is an actual union so it is getting some energy from the stock/Pereskiopsis. Two, it is clearly a bad union and is already shooting a root down. Three, while it may be possible to remove from the stock and root on its own, it will root faster if allowed to stay grafted so it can get energy both from its own roots and the stock it is on. You really have to watch crested grafts as they have a tendency to bow in the middle as they dry out. If any of you are making small crested grafts... keep that in mind.
  22. I've always stored my pollen in the freezer whether it was Brugmansia, Datura, Echinopsis, or Hemerocallis pollen, Pollen always seems to stay good in the freezer for several years when frozen if it is not brought back and forth out of the freezer. Otherwise, you just have to have the right pollen you want to use and the right cacti blooming at the same time
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