Help me explain drugs and 'our world' to my father

[BorgFace]

Sometimes you just have to face the fact that they aren't willing to listen. Both of my parents regard everything I do with a natural distrust. I can't grow one single thing around the house without being accused of growing drugs or using them and likewise with any other spiritual activity I pursue. I've tried to reason with them and open up a channel of communication but it falls on deaf ears.

The funny thing about straight people is that although they aren't truly happy, they have the illusion that they are and so they can go on functioning. Whether they do this by getting drunk every Friday night or by working so hard that all they do is sleep/work without any personal time is irrelevant. Though this isn't a very fulfilling lifestyle, many people cling to it like you wouldn't believe and would only express disgust with the experiences invoked by these entheogens. As McKenna said this is most likely due to boundary dissolution, for someone to live this strict life with certain rules and boundaries it can be very difficult to come to terms with the limitless possibilities that the psychedelic experience implies.

Though I wouldn't change a single aspect of my life, I sometimes wonder what it would've been like to take the other path. I have never really fit into the mold as such, so even as an sober gimp I would've been slightly eclectic. Either way, I don't think we will ever understand them and vice versa.

BorgFace.

[Thelema]

i agree with this.

its probably not possible to change your fathers mind at all. Especially given what we know about alcoholism stunting the ability to form new attitudes towards life, alcoholism tends to "bog you down" into issues and behavioural structure.

Less likely and able to see and explore alternatives. Probably the first thing you would need to do to get your fathers mind on this issue is to remove his alcoholism.

[jalien]

well isnt this a great topic

psychedelic people considering the possibility of "turning on" their parents

or more simply our generation communicating with their parents

godda say im profoundly sad at the depth of my failure here

yet ive made so many attempts at building bridges

an hour ago i was talking to my raging alcoholic mum on the phone - she was talking about the process of getting her drivers licence back after years and im thinking "if they give her licence back theyre fucken nuts" but also realising in her stupor she wants my respect and is so lost and sad that her partner is dying of cancer. . .

one thing about my parents that amazes me is that ive never been able to influence them - i mean really never about anything

and i have an MA in philosophy and a Dip Psych from studying psychotherapy for 5 years

they say you study psychotherapy to try to turn your parents into good people and i guess its true

that and trying not to be so fucked up

anyway im really unconfident when it comes to the idea of breakthroughs with your parents

but if you manage it you have my envy and admiration

terencemckenna.info

[nabraxas]

i agree w/coin.

CS, when you say

 

quote:

---

I want to help my dad because I see what a complete world of shit he is in

---

it show's the depth ov your care/concern.

it seems you want to 'build the bridge' & believe 'drugs' is the issue separating you---maybe it is, but give coins suggestion ov just trying to get closer to him w/out even mentioning drugs.

what i mean is, go w/coins suggestion ov getting closer & over time you might see a greater respect for you & the choices you make.

[ 24. January 2005, 04:38: Message edited by: nabraxas ]

[gomaos]

Being probably in the same age group as your father:

If he's a full-blown alcoholic, there's no way to explain your world to him:

The alcohol has already dulled his brain too much and he is unable to learn, unless for some reason he'd really want to (unlikely).

From own experience, it takes at least 6 months after stopping alcohol, before ppl are able to think reasonably again.

Normally every single thought of an alcoholic is shaped, bent and twisted by the evil chemical compound produced by fermentation of sugar...

your father couldn't understand your way of thinking even if he wanted to...

[teonanacatl]

actually my dad is really really smart, he did a few entrance exams for some of the genius societies and passed, i think his IQ is around 200 not sure on that though, very knowledgable on lots of things. i was worried about him losing this cos of the alcohol but he hasnt he still retained all his memory and reads lots, he still very interested in learning, wants to go back to uni and study archeology but he knows he will drop out when his drinking gets bad.

[mescalito]

CS how would you go dropping in on him with a case of his favorite bevvy and getting shitfaced on his turf with his 'drug'?

Who knows he may follow you out the back for a spliff or even better he may remember that he forgot to pay you back :D

[woof woof woof]

Dear CS,

I must say that this is one post of yours that really sticks out. I am glad to see that there is a human side to the gawd of Fuzzz.

I am not really sure if I can help you with your dad. I see that there have been others that have been very open about their pesonal life experiences with their folks.

It is indeed sometimes sad to see where it's going with the people we call our parents.

Perhaps all i can say is, to ask yourself what you want out of a relationship with your father.

See what you can salvage without trying to impose anything. If you and your father did somethings together in the past,... like fishing / camping a game of chess or whatever you did for bonding,... take him or do that with him. Cook im a wicked meal... that is a good start I think.

I think all old people need is for people to show them that they are loved. That helps allot.

Maybe on day he will ASK you about the drugs or what you do on your weekends Then you tell him ,.. I go out, party like hell & take drugs.

I mean, does he not have a notion that you like drugs already? You with the funny clothes! ( Joke ,.. those were some real trippy clothes)

[ 23. January 2005, 06:08: Message edited by: brian ]