Unloved

[Buzybee]

My life is is an never ending shit fight SHIT and when not working, or looking after term ill sister I have time to log on to your site for any form of relaxation I see I have warn status when I have replied to a question what the? Hey you people I AM NOT THE ENEMY I'm a flesh and blood person not a narc,,informer or any such low life please moderate YOUR paranoia. Sheezm I'm here because I will do Anything within my power that does not IMPACT OR HARM any other person on this earth or other plains to ease her pain however momentarily which is not often when you start hacking up your lungs piece by bloody piece. Forget anyway obviously nothing will convince you otherwise see you all in the next world. Added no I hope I see nobody.

[.dg]

holy shit, i have a warn status too!

(we all have that, you aren't being singled out)

click your warn status, are there any Moderator comments logged?

[Alice]

Chill Winston, we all have the warn bar. If yours is empty (i.e. all white) then you have not been reprimanded.

Cool name too, my 4 month old's favourite toy is Mr Buzzy Bee . Maybe I should be calling it Mr Busy Buzzy Bee.

[GoOnThen]

I cant see anything in your post's that would earn a warn point unless something has been deleted. I would suggest you contact a moderator if there is no moderator comment logged

We really don't think you are the enemy this place is made up of so many different people which is what makes it such a great place. Take a deep breath and come back and talk to us.

Edit (I type to slow)

As Alice has just said I am sure it is a misunderstanding about the warn status bar

Cheers

Got

[Foo]

Im Glad there is an entire country inbatween me and your keyboard rage.

As above, you arent likely to have any warn points. Chill out.

log on to your site for any form of relaxation

 

Most of us do. Posts like yours tend to hinder relaxation.

[ballzac]

please moderate YOUR paranoia

 

As said previously, you have no warn points. Everyone has a warn bar but yours, like most, is empty.

As GOT said, take a deep breath and come back. Everyone here is very compassionate when they see someone who's in a bad headspace, which you clearly are, so come back and start over and I'm sure you will make a lot of friends here and get some constructive help with what you're going through.

[goneski]

*hugs all round*

[Buzybee]

To everyone I went outside and watered and calmed down. I'm 53 I'm not usually like this but I've hit the wall I'm falling apart and really have no reason to be taking anything out on any of you but you're right my mind is shot with emotion and all sorts of shit. I can't lose it I have to keep it all floating for everyone else in my family and her friends and kids who are going to be my kids and if you want the truth I just don't want to be strong but that's life and there's enough dickheDs fing this world so I sorry if I upset anyone it's so rotten to know you can't change anything or take the pain away for her. The other night it was so bad I said to her I will go and try and find some stuff for you in the valley it's where you go in up here I've been told but I know it won't help and wouldn't it be funny for them to see some old woman trying to score they'd either rip me off or rob me probably everything it's just so bloody futile guys but thanks for replying its good to know there are really people out there. Worse still I'm so guilty as the only thing I could do to help was to give her a cigarette to help relax, and now I'm feeling even worse just ahyprocrite as she is in this mess form smoking ut to you all sorry I'm off over to begin to help so please don't worry and to junior member sorry to set such a bad example I didn't know we all have one I thought it was me paranoid should take my own advice shouldn't I. From bee yes everyone has called me that;for years I'm usually very buzzy but not today. Bye x

[chilli]

It is admirable that you are concerned for everyone else, but you need to allow time and space to deal with your own grief too. Don't try and hide it from everyone to appear strong for their sake.

Be open and honest and let the feelings flow, no matter how unpleasant. If you want to be strong enough to help others, then you need to take care of yourself as a priority.

Anyway it's nice having another woman on the forums, we are getting quite a collection now (sorry if I misread your post and got gender wrong). I hope you stick around.

[nabraxas]

i'm sure we've all made fools ov ourselves somewhere;

i know i have.

welcome to the forum.

[CβL]

It's hard to be certain, but it seems to me that this is a thinly-veiled cry for help. Well, it's better to say something - even if it's mildly cryptic, than nothing at all. It's very brave to talk about your struggles in life as well, especially when they're so imposing and deeply-rooted. So you should feel proud that you took the initiative to ask for help before you were 'in even deeper'.

First of all, you're not "guilty" of anything, and you're not on trial here either. More importantly, you shouldn't be feeling guilt for trying to help your sister. Sure, giving her a cigarette wasn't a stroke of genius, but it was a brush of compassion - and in the long run, that's what matters (having kind intentions). It's much harder to be kind, than to be smart (at least for me). If you ever get any spare time, read around the forum and you'll find all sorts of advice on various plants that can potentially ease her pain, most of which are legal. In my experience, finding the plants to help you is the easy part - testing the trust of the person you're trying to help is the harder part.

I can only assume what you had thought might be available in the valley, and my only advice for that particular plant, would be to get in contact with people who might be associated with it. I got associated with some of the various organizations supporting legalization, and found that very fruitful after settling in. As well as some of the people you meet through trading plants with. Unfortunately this is not a quick-fix solution. It takes time. But it's a heck of a lot safer than getting sticked by your government or getting ripped-off/robbed though, and as you're a guardian of children, I would highly recommend staying safe and being careful.

Secondly, don't worry about "losing it". Just do your best (as that's all you can do, and anyone can ask of you), take a few deep breaths (for the symbolism) before you do anything - to stay focused, and just chip away at what needs to be done. Drops will still fill a bucket.

I hope you have a good sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow seeing a bit more sunlight slipping through the cracks - just look for these rays; you'll find them if you look hard enough.

[incognito]

Don't sweat the small stuff buzz.

Look after yourself mate

I doubt there's a member here who hasn't flipped out here on the forum at

One stage or another. We are all a wee bit mad, but I like to think good hearted.(even the rougher nuts on here)

Be well x

Cbl such good advise. Ur so fucking beautiful.

[etherealdrifter]

ingog you're so nice sometimes

[gilligan]

Mreow?!

[mutant]

hey welcome to the forums dude. Lots of love around here, you came to the right place