Eye would like to say "Hello"

[Rune]

I used to be asleep. I had a rude awakening one day by a gnome. He told me his name was Eye. Realising gnomes existed scared me, and I told myself it was just a hallucination, and quickly put the experience in the recesses of my mind. Eye went away.

Years later, Eye came back. This time, he woke me violently from my sleep. He was furious that I had ignored him and gone back to sleep. What he had to show me blew my mind. I was sent to James Fletcher Psychiatric Hospital in Newcastle. I was diagnosed with drug-induced psychosis. I was very confused - one minute Eye is real, and the next he’s not, and I’m surrounded by all these crazy people struggling with their own inner Eyes. I was told that Eye was a delusion, and was given horrible medication with horrible side-effects. Eye went away again.

I believed what I was told by people who obviously KNEW what they were talking about – I mean, they had studied mental illness for years and had many university degrees to PROVE it.

After struggling with many inner demons, I finally decided the only course of action for me was to trust my instincts and remove myself from the medication, rather, remove the medication from me. I feared very much that Eye would overload my mind again, and I would have to go back to hospital. Eye came back!

This was the THIRD time he had come. This was when I realized this was my THIRD Eye. I formed a beautiful relationship with Eye. He revealed his true beauty. I reveled in his true beauty. He said “Rune, I know you love this trip, just remember – take it easy”. I said “Yeah, whatever”. I continued to rush down this glorious path. Eye had warned me to slow down. I didn’t listen.

This time, I went to a psychiatric hospital in Melbourne. This time however, I was determined to KEEP my delusion. I played the ‘sane game’, and they released me. I immediately took myself off my meds.

As the haze cleared, my best buddy, Eye was there to welcome me back. I was beginning to see a pattern:

“If I cross Eye, I suffer. If I walk WITH Eye, I feel LOVE!

Eye knows…Eye REALLY knows…Eye…KNOWS…..EYE… KNOWS…EYE KNOWS…EYE KNOW!…I…KNOW!…I KNOW!!!”...

Revelation.

I respect Eye. I respect myself. I respect me. I respect me, myself, and Eye. Eye is all powerful, all knowing. Eye is the ESSENCE. Eye is GOD.

As I become more aligned with my third Eye, I KNOW I am becoming ONE with GOD. I can now say EYE is GOD. Hopefully soon, I can say I AM GOD!!!

- PEACE, LOVE AND RESPECT TO ALL -

-------------------------------------------------

[Guest electro]

look after yourself rune :/

[woof woof woof]

stop scaring us you freak,..... LOL joking.

nahhhhhh dude , no worries , I completely understand. ( I came to more or less the same conclusious once,.. and I liked reading your introduction! )

Keep on the good fight! Dedicate yourself to stabelizing your emotional states. I am sure that you will overcome!

I have seen a program once in which the main figure ( a woman ) totally lost it,.... she was almost a vegetable at some point. Just sitting there and drooling. A psychiatrist help her over the course of three years and she fully recovered.

Now she helps people with the same condition. She even got here masters in psycoligy.

The psychiatrist who helped her had approached her very carefully, not by simply labeling her as being a wack, .... but by saying things like " I know that you feel comfortable and safe where you are at now "

that is how he graduately estabished dialouge with her EYE.

Anyway dude, keep it up! set an example, talk to people that understand you ,..... i am sure that you will find a few of them freaks here

cheers!

[Rune]

When I went to James Fletcher, I had no idea what was going on. I had to come to terms with the fact that I (no pun this time!) was actually like all these mental cases around me. After doing that (as best I could), I then had to figure out how to get the hell out of that joint. This was harder than you could imagine, because I was looking for a role-model to try to get an understanding of what 'sane' is, but everywhere I turned, I just came across another complete nutter! No offence to these poor people, but you know what I mean.

I therefore thought the best option for me was to look to the Nurses. You would think this was a good idea, wouldn't you? WRONG! These FUCKS fuck around with you like you wouldn't believe. I guess it's there way of relieving stress from having to clean up urine-soaked beds and the like. I swear, it's just the ENVIRONMENT of these places - it's just not conducive to getting well.

Anyway, it's easy to think the problems with the mental health system are worse than anywhere else, but the truth is you can look anywhere is this world nowadays and see problems just as bad.

Really it's the whole world that needs a band-aid.

But if you're doing everything you can, no-one is going ask any more of you.

[mescalito]

Looks like you know who IS in control now

After winning a battle with depression and anti-depressants.....I can say well done Rune,I'm sure you'll find a different breed of nutter here :D :D :confused:

[ 15. December 2003, 08:54: Message edited by: mescalito ]

[chief23]

My gnome has had a similar experience to this, but never has been hospitalised. My gnome became very spirtual and was put on some awful medication to try and bring him back to earth. My gnome has been playing the "sane" game for years now, but prefers to self-medicate with natural medicines. My gnome is always more cautious who he talks to about his experiences now.

Chief

[planthelper]

learned to live with my "eye" a long time ago...

you spoke very well,

most of us here understand you.

it's a very powerfull thing,

i know.

:D

[ 19. December 2003, 18:22: Message edited by: planthelper ]

[Shamanorrhea]

I wish I had drug-induced psychosis

*goes about frying his mind*

[faustus]

Shamanorrhea:

I wish I had drug-induced psychosis

with a lot of hard work and just a bit of luck, i'm sure you will one day. or you could do what this guy did and hit the meth for a week straight

http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=21324

thanks for sharing rune, i'm sure it's been a battle

[gomaos]

I once met a nature spirit.

I was camping at cape Tribulation.

One night this being stuck his head and upper body through the wall of the tent (without breaking it) and started talking.

His Head had horns and his body had scales.

I was so scared I couldn't understand what he said.

I believe he was trying to calm me down since I was in emotional turmoil.

Then he and his words started spinning around in the air and disappeared.

All I had had was 1 joint, nothing else.

Haven't met him since.

Sometimes I wish I would so he could give me some advice again.

But Cape Tribulation has become a Tourist-hellhole and all the spirits have evacuated.

Haven't seen him since

[mr b.caapi]

i remember being tormented by a pink monster with suction caps all over its body, almost every night when i was a child. years ,later i had a shroom journey and met him again,only this time he took me by the hand and apoligised for his previous efforts,and that it was to make me emotionally stronger. he then led me to a soul cleansing machine.(it looked like a c.a.t scanner) i entered it and was greeted with a flash of brilliant blue. when i awoke i felt more alive physicaly and mentally than i ever have.

thankyou mr monster. :D

[ 21. December 2003, 19:58: Message edited by: mr b.caapi ]

[t st tantra]

hi rune,interesting thread!

just thought i'd drop a mention of heimia salicifolia,one of its uses is said to be as a treatment for drug induced psychosis.i'm not suggesting you need treatment,just offering you a sugestion for a tool you may find useful to have around.also i have had some very integrating experiences with it .

t s t .

[nabraxas]

thankyo to all for sharing those experiences

fascinating

[Rune]

t st tantra:

hi rune,interesting thread!

just thought i'd drop a mention of heimia salicifolia,one of its uses is said to be as a treatment for drug induced psychosis.i'm not suggesting you need treatment,just offering you a sugestion for a tool you may find useful to have around.also i have had some very integrating experiences with it .

t s t .

Thanks, any help is greatly appreciated!

[Northern Gnome]

I don't know if I should be, but I wish I could see something like that, but I wouldn't talk about it. People already think I'm nutz from a dream I had where I came back seeing everyone as extensions of the same thing, really God living life as a human slob.

[Northern Gnome]

well.... I would talk about it on the web

[loaded]

In regards to the comments about nutters and urine soaked sheets and whatnot:

When I was hospityalized for good ole' drug psychosis, they sent me to a public joint, which I had the same opinion of as you seem to do. Fuckin lunitics screaming and in your face, devious looking men pacing around, and fucking arsehole hospital staff who like to powertrip to satisfy their own pathetic little lives...

But man perhaps you may wish to invest in medical cover?

I went (and have been back since, always to my pleasure) to a private clinic and met a whole bunch of similar people to myself who had gone through similar shit. For one, my "eye" terrorizes me, and it has sent me to all sorts of shitty places and states of mind, of which I have sadly thought suicide was a viable option. But at this clinic I was able to realize I was not a freak of society, but just another guy dealing with what it is to be a human that is disposed to certain things and experiences things certain ways, and that noones normal and more there are people just like me So yeah give it a thought, enviromental comfort is everything when youre in these circumstances.

Edited September 30, 2006 by loaded

[gomaos]

So that's what makes all the difference: Money!

Those who can't afford the private clinic have to stay in a hellhole, but those who pay for it get treated like humans?

Apparently nothing has changed in the last few hundred years...

[mescalito]

Nah not neccesarily so....I had great treatment from the community health team and an excellent psych that bulk billed!

Ask and ye shall receive....

[Rune]

I think I've come to accept the public hospital system for what it is - a place where you can learn to control your trip. It's a very sensitive place, where if you act up, you are immediately reprimanded by means of a horrible injection in the rear end.

But if you learn to play the game - ride the wave as it were, and give them what they want (take your medication etc.), you can bring back home with you an amazing amount of insight.

I just think of a trip to hospital as just that...another trip!

[t st tantra]

when i first took syrian rue a voice began speaking in my head,basically offering opinions and solutions to problems,with no emotional weight.unfortunately after a while it disappeared,i wonder why,maybe i didnt take enough notice of its opinion?i hope it reappears and intend to pay more attention if it does.

t s t .

[Northern Gnome]

Are you saying that you heard someone talking to you when taking syrian rue and nothing else? Didn't do anything for me but make me deathly sick for a few hours and unable to get a full nights sleep for two years.

[t st tantra]

LOL,not saying i had nothing else,saying the voice started when i first tried syrian rue,anything else was not for the first time.

but to me this was in agreement with the south american point of view that it is caapii which speaks to one,not the dmt spirit.the dmt allows the words to become visions.

i find your statement about having your sleep affected for 2 years quite increadible.why do you believe the rue was responsible?

t s t .

[mescalito]

Yes,that sounds quite bizarre considering my little mate found the Rue to be the most beautiful serene experience to date....almost e like without the wizz.

[Northern Gnome]

All I can tell you is that when taking the syrian rue I had lots of problems right away. Here is a cut and paste from another post I had made in the ayahausca forum:

Yes, I know exactly what your saying, no one has reported the kinds of symptoms that I had from it, but it can "produce neuromuscular effects at therapeutic and toxic doses that range from muscle tension and muscle twitches in their mild form to forceful myoclonic jerks". I took a dose that was twice the recommended amount of 3 grams (of syrian rue seeds) normally used to potentiate a brew and then unwittingly added caffeine when I drank a 16 ounce bottle of root beer that I didn't know contained caffeine. Within an hour I started to experience muscle twitchings in my left hand and mild myoclonic jerks in my right foot, both of which persisted for over three years. While I obviously can't contribute the continued twitches and myoclonic jerks to MAOI being in my system three years later, they started right away and continued to affect me every few minutes for at least three years. The use of the Syrian Rue Harmala did something to cause it.

Before I used the rue I thought, "there is a small amount of risk involved here, but it is very small, naw, nothing will happen to me". Gulp! It was awful, I couldn't see the way I could before either because my eyes wouldn't settle down to be able to pin point focus on things like I used to be able to do and my jaw had a slight tremble that wouldn't go away either. This continued for months too. This stuff is bad for some people, maybe most don't have these effects, but I am here to tell you that some do, just six grams of this stuff set me off into a nuerological river styx that lasted for a very long time. I won't use it again, caffeine or not. I don't think anyone would blame me for this attitude. Can you use it safely? Most of you can. Maybe most of these symptoms were caused by the severe hypotensive (low blood pressure) that the combination with caffeine caused, but the symptoms of jerks and twitches, including fine muscle trembling are not unheard of symptoms even when at normal doses and are common at toxic levels. What is uncommon is how damn long these symptoms persisted in my case.

Here's a list of the problems it caused for me:

1. Ringing in the ears (tinitus at about 8 KHz).

2. jaw trembles.

3. Eye trembles.

4. Muscle twitches in my face, leg and hand.

5. Mild myoclonic jerks in my right foot.

6. Insomnia.

7. Hypotensive crisis (due to caffeine).

The majority of these symptoms persisting for over three years, the tinitus remains to this day, five years later. Funny, the other name of Syrian Rue; Peganam Harm-ala.

I can do advanced searches on the web for "hypotension" "Caffeine" and "MAOI" and turn up references to MAOI's causing either hypertension or hypOtension, but I can't find conclusive information, just a mention here and there.

 

quote:

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From:

http://www.parkinsons-information-exchange...gdb.....24.html

Caffeine interacts with MAOIs (including furazolidone, procarbazine, and selegiline). Dangerous cardiac arrhythmias or severe hypertension can occur because of the potentiation of caffeine's sympathomimetic effects by MAOIs. Caffeine use should be minimized or avoided during and for 1-2 weeks after discontinuation of any MAOI.

---

quote:

---

From:

http://www.janela1.com/vh/docs/v0002503.htm

MAOIs are known to produce neuromuscular effects at therapeutic and toxic doses that range from muscle tension and muscle twitches in their mild form to forceful myoclonic jerks. Lieberman et al (1986) hypothesize that these ADRs are the result of the MAOIs producing a condition of heightened neuromuscular excitability due to a combination of increased serotonergic tone and central disinhibition of a-motor neuro-mediated spinal activity.

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[ 06. January 2004, 12:59: Message edited by: Salvinorin ]