Bush Turkey Posted August 9, 2010 to buy more time just get stage fright. my mate posponed a test for to weeks because he pretended he couldnt piss. so just dont piss Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kindness Posted August 9, 2010 lol nice one. I can't piss in front of other people. Totally valid reason I reckon that would work Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
incognito Posted August 9, 2010 nah i realise not all drug tests are the same.."deep breath" lol. just maybee preparing the lad. well good luck. like i said i put in ALOT of research into how to get away with urine tests lol. i was even considering buying a fake dick (seriously) that u could put a clean friends urine in. however in the end it all came down to having clean urine..if peeps get away with it good on yas! and please let me know how u did it!! seriously!!! hope u get the white marble...1in 5 is great odds in my books! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kindness Posted August 9, 2010 rofl that is classic, a fake cock. good on ya incog. hehehe Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
incognito Posted August 9, 2010 lol nice one. I can't piss in front of other people. Totally valid reason I reckon that would work haha reminds me of when i was in coffs. its was this same old bird every week. and cos it was for family court she wold literally stare at my dick. id be there for 5 mins before id start to pee. she would just stand there... staring lol soooo awkward. she would turn the tap on in the basin at about the 4 min mark and i would just piss a river. not my best moment in life. we actually developed a weird kind of pissroom friendship. rhonda her name was. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
incognito Posted August 9, 2010 there is such a thing, i believe torsten sent me a link at the time. i wanted to buy a black on to totally spin rhonda out. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
santiago Posted August 9, 2010 fake piss dick true true incognito, had heard of them before and a quick search finds not the governator not the terminator but the WHIZZINATOR : ) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kindness Posted August 9, 2010 (edited) "hey Rhonda, would you mind turning the tap on... I'm feeling a little awkward right now" "sure hon, but do you mind if I keep staring at your cock, I do so look forward to our weekly meetings" edit: Rhonda, "my son, the colour of your dick is very different isn't it" lol Edited August 9, 2010 by meanies Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
incognito Posted August 9, 2010 yeah man i was seriously gonna buy one if i didnt produce a clean urine the next week. see the prob with urals IS, thc gets stord in the fat cells in ur kidneys??? correct me if im wrong. and until that gets cleared uve not much chance of passing. ural does sweet fa wit ur kidneys. this just takes time, dependant of ur metabolism 3-5weeks. (off top of myhead from memory, and i STUDIED this lol but yeah maybee wrong) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amazonian Posted August 9, 2010 (edited) I know this is a serious problem but came across this.... It seems that there is a real market for fixing urine tests. SweetPee dehydrated synthetic human urine reacts and feels just like real urine when used as directed. You cannot contract any infectious diseases from this product and it has all the same natural properties of real human urine. This product is stable for one year in the dry form. Edited August 9, 2010 by Amazonian Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kindness Posted August 9, 2010 from what I've accumulated in my noggin over the years yep thc does get stored in the fatty tissue. I believe thats why it's also such a bugger to get over cause it takes a long time to get out of the system... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chiral Posted August 9, 2010 u cocksucker chiral. u just fucken modified my comment then quoted it. not acceptable venacular i know but ur post warranted that. martyr? counsellor? whatever chiral. indulge quite often? shows how much you know about me. ...I love you like a long lost friend but your constant badgering and mormon like attitude on this subject is very boring for lack of a better word. well theres where we differ. i think you are a tool. sorry. but its true. constant badgering? mormon like?? fuck u chiral. ive only ever tried to help FRIENDS here, people i actually know well. i was offering my advice with my own experience. i was drug tested for over a year on a weekly basis, and get drug tested fortnightly as part of my job, so shit. i hit a positive 3 WEEKS after skulling ural, munching milkthistle extracts and skulling water and sprinting everyday till i would collapse. and THAT was after EXTREMELY moderate cannabis use (my first test) thats why i offer that advice. I do urine tests on people EVERY week, but nah im a fuken morman. im not editing that, slap me with a warning, but also warn chiral for making up peoples quotes. ur a dick chiral. and heres just a double fuckyou: we are not all addicts, or want or need any of this so called therapy or help, it gets on my nerves so much particularly when you of all people love to indulge quite often when have i ever said that you belligerant gronk?? everyones an addict? what so caled therapy are you on about?? thats a dangerous statement, stooge. indulge quite often??? what the fuck would you know??? you dont! so shut ur bleeding pie hole!!! if ur refering to entheogens i.e shrooms, cactus, aya then to be HONEST maybee once every 6 months IF THAT., not that actualy means anything, just pointing the fact out that you are completely full of shit. however i would much prefer that than ur constant public moodswings on here and filling a forum full of your "poor me" bs and how u r so hard done by "the system". The only time u ever have anything positive to say is after u have obliterated urelf on some substance, which is soon followed by you posting ur 'chiral against the world shit" on ur comedown. so yeah man chew on these mormon preaching dingleberries I did not edit your post what so ever, I simply pulled out the bit that I see a lot...addicts. If it makes you feel better to abuse me here then that's fine but I stand by what I say, it's juts my opinion and I'm not afraid to speak my mind, though it seems more and more to me lately that there is very little free speech left anywhere...even here FFS. It was not a personal attack on you what so ever, fuck i can't count the number of times people have had a go at stuff I've said, but why take it so damned personally. There is sooo much animosity around here lately it's bewildering, and you can't deny that you have many times offered your advice on drug counseling to people here because you work in that area....lets not forget you have intentionally insulted and trashed quite a few of my threads and posts...I'll dig em up if you want...but I'm not getting all abusive and agro about it....why don't you make a poll and see how many people want me to fuck off from here then...maybe that will sort out all this negativity once and for all. And what the fuck is my constant mood-swings and filling the forums full of poor me BS and hard done by the system all about...that's some pretty nasty shit to say to someone man for someone who is supposed to be so caring and gentle...I have no problems opening up and offering a lot of my own feelings and thoughts, whats wrong with that, or should we bottle them all up and go into huge dark holes of depression. hard done by the system....? I haven't a clue what you mean by that to be honest...but you know what posts like what you have posted directly attacking me doesn't do a lot for a guys confidence and well-being...I could quite easily make you look like the king of tools if i necked myself tonite over your scathing outburst...only 2 weeks ago I had to pull out all my strength to defend myself against hatemongers and here we go again. I'll delete my post about what I said about you and forget all about it if that makes things easier, if not I'll reliquish my mod status and leave for good. The only time u ever have anything positive to say is after u have obliterated urelf on some substance, which is soon followed by you posting ur 'chiral against the world shit" on ur comedown. Thats about as low as it goes man, so much assuming and labeling, you think you know me and what I do, you couldn't be further from the mark if you tried...it's all good though as I've never needed to have friends who think they know me and offer useless advice and slag me off with absolutely no hard evidence what so ever to speak of. All I can say is I'm pretty deeply disappointed and hurt by your savagery man...no one who wants to say those sort of things publically could ever in a million years become a close friend of mine....way to must speculation and distrust. String me up bro, I embrace death and don't fear humans as they are full of disappointments and lies. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
incognito Posted August 9, 2010 (edited) bah. Edited August 9, 2010 by incognito Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bush Turkey Posted August 9, 2010 ultra klean thats it hear.... http://ultraklean.com/proddetail.php?prod=110 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chiral Posted August 9, 2010 Sorry to the OP for hijacking....drug testing as I've posted very frequently in the news and notices forum is going to become mandatory in all walks of live and employment, can't say you haven't been warned, take the test, tell your man you smoke weed on the weekends like a hundred thousand other people, but you never smoke before work or at work...an honest approach may give you a 2-1 shot at getting though this. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kindness Posted August 9, 2010 stop being dickwads incog and chiral. You are both unreal members of this site and if you weren't here it would be a very different place. I bet you both would get on really well if you didn't have to rely on internet posts about topics. I'm pretty sure incog would get this one, 'if we don't hang together we hang alone'. ? come on guys. this post is about a dude taking a piss test. why is it that after about 20 odd posts the threads turn to shit and people start bagging each other out? I don't think it's a very good example of the enlightenment that psychedelics bring to humankind?? 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
incognito Posted August 9, 2010 (edited) unless u can be upfront with ur boss beforehanf maybee, be honest, and say that u will stop, and if u could be rescheduled a month down the line, come up with some bs of hardships your experiencing, and uve used pot to get u through, but now ur going to counselling etc to get ur life in order, you love and need ur job etc etc.ur sick of being an addict etc etc- then u may have a chance- better than rocking up and pissing a positive anyhoo. this was my post. it was my advice of how to get out of it speaking to ur employer should u turn in a positive result. telling him 'your sick of being an addict' in my mind would mean to the employer ur trying to get help, and maybee he would show leniency THATS all. i wasnt saying to him he was an addict phewwww was just offering advice. so for chrial to pull that line out to do with 'being an addict' took my whole advice out of context. thats all. he really had a good dig at me no matter how much he now wants to play the victim. just doesnt cut it sorry. was my just my advice on how to approach an employer to get sympathy really lol so he would overlook the positive result. but to say all that shit he did about me, well i dont think its fair. if people ant to get personal they can expect it to be returned. p.s meanies i dont get it. Edited August 9, 2010 by incognito 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kindness Posted August 9, 2010 (edited) yeah chiral pull your head in mate wasn't this about trying to help someone pass a piss test. anyone know about those pass your drug test satchels that you can buy? do they really work? never had to face one myself but I do remember them being a fairly prominent feature of magazines like high times back in the day?? oh and before you start to hate me chiral I love ya mate and you to incog... peace edit: for incog: we hang together, (i.e. as a group and support each other - or we hang alone... hmmmmmmm - do you get it now? thought you would have heard that one around the traps bro?) Edited August 9, 2010 by meanies 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
etherealdrifter Posted August 9, 2010 fighty fight fights.. wtf is going on around here lately? clearly incog works somewhere that they do alot of drug testing... maybe the drug testing there is different to stuff done elsewhere? maybe, (and incog i'm not saying it is!!! don't get the shits bro!). Vual - if you lose your job.... oh well. In the grand scheme of things what does that really matter? you lose some money for a while, (we have a welfare system that provides you with health, housing and financial care...) make a bloody point of how much being 'busted' for smoking weed has affected your family and how stupid that really is! I don't wanna be harsh or anything, but, suck it up. We all make choices and sometimes they bite us in the arse. Pull the white marble brother and re-assess your employment choice. peace Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
etherealdrifter Posted August 9, 2010 here here. i agree. You've made the life choices, now live the consequences . It's not the end of the world if you fail. I hope you draw the white marble - and then re-evaluate whether you wanna put yourself throo that again. all the best but we all make choices...and have to live by them. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bread Filter Posted August 9, 2010 lol nice one. I can't piss in front of other people. Totally valid reason I reckon that would work Paruresis is a very real condition but still not one that will help you in a testing situation. For sport drug tests that make you drop your pants all the way to the floor as they are well aware of Whizzinator products that have been around for 15 years now. The test attendant will stand there and watch you for as long as it takes. One of my team mates was "watched" for 2 hours. The ironic thing is that my Paruresis was caused by 20 guys all repeatedly piling off the bus and lining up to have a piss on the way home from away games. I have to piss alone now. No one has mentioned yet that the Whizzinator used to come in pink, Caucasian, Latino, Brown and Black. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
incognito Posted August 9, 2010 i did. but noone listens to mormons anymore Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bread Filter Posted August 9, 2010 i did. but noone listens to mormons anymore I see where you posted about the black ones but can't find any other reference. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
incognito Posted August 9, 2010 (edited) mormons need to be more thorough. My link comprehensive list of whizzinators. Edited August 9, 2010 by incognito Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vual Posted August 9, 2010 (edited) LMFAO so much useful information here guys, this thread will be a useful resource for future "Piss Test Takers". If there is a product that is $100 and GUARANTEES to work and offers a $500 cash back if it doesn't then ill grab one of those and pray i i do get the BLACK MARBLE!! and take the test with pride, Cmon B-T why isn't the hydro shop open at night!! Goto know the name of that product you speak about, worse case scenario at least i make $400.... Not enough time for me tonight to get the product but it would be bloody handy to know for future reference. (thanks BT, i missed post about ULTRA MASK, Thank you, 1hr is all it takes... thats hard to believe... 500% money back guarantee though who cares!!) Strap on Fake Genitals... Dilution Method<-- (Best cause its free??)....... Eat lots of Activated Charcoal... Social Engineering.... Eat lots of Ural.... Contamination.... Stage fright..... ULTRA MASK.... Alcohol Absorption... Postpone In-defiantly... Fake Sickness... Lots of Detox..... Develop Paruresis..... Exercise.... I think i got a shit load of options now, A combination of the above can not fail, I appreciate all the contributions!! Ya i realize we all make choices in life, i made the CHOICE to smoke shitlaods of weed, Then i made the CHOICE to post on a forum asking for help... now i am maken the CHOICE to buy a magical product to fix it. ;P ...i got it easy anyway, 1 in 5 is good i should be fine. I Pitty the guys that have to get watched in sports..... -Vual P.S. Wasn't going to say it ....but.... i appreciate everyones point of view, And i respect every contributing here, please save the flames for the BBQ pit (bitches and gripes,start new thread there entitled "dam mormons" or some shit..), incog's advice was relevant and would work. I could give the boss a speal on trying to quit blah blah blah and it probably would of worked (for non gov. sub contractors). so imo what incog said was very good advice, social engineering. Chirals advice was just as useful the chemical route with some distraction and i appreciate all the help both you have to offer, just can we refrain from having to put each other down ?? Love and respect guys, and thank you - vual EDIT: Sorry BT now i see you did find the Drink ULTRA MASK!!, i jsut scrolled past all the crap, and your post got lost in there. Edited August 9, 2010 by vual Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
