Clarity required URGENTLY

[matriarch]

Hey so I think this is the right place for this?

So just to warn you if you have unsuspectingly stumbled on this post that be prepared for a rant. I don't really know what exactly I am going to be saying and I guess that's the problem.

So mainly I am just confused about life and possibly maybe scared like worried about finding contentedness.

I would like to think of myself as being strong willed, determined and when I put my mind to something; can make it happen and I guess it's through those traits that I have always felt confident in the fact that whatever I do in life I will be successful at it....what happened to make that disappear recently?

I guess the fact is that I am 'becoming my own person' i.e. I moved out of home (country) around three years ago after finishing school to continue studies (city), have recently turned vegan and have started to develop my own kind of opinions on things instead of assuming my parent's. I am very passionate about things if I believe in them and feel I have a strong set of principles that I gauge both people and life by.

I am goal orientated and always saw myself as having the dream home, a collection of cars, a financially stable position blah blah blah. Recently my goals have all changed and I think it is because of my design studies and I have felt a huge sadness at how materialistic people have become at such an expense to the environment, I feel myself sickened at times by societies ignorance and self appreciation etc.

I guess my main clarity is required in regards to what I want to do in life, I thought I wanted to be a designer and have moved on to wanting to be an artist mean whilst I still want to achieve so many other personal goals i.e. start a family, yet ultimately I want to leave my mark in history and do something that will be remembered (slightly egotistic but mmmm). In addition to those personal goals and urges I have a MASSIVE urge to go somewhere and help people especially in 3rd world countries by building infrastructure, relationships helping set up orphanages, looking after sick people etc... I guess I feel like I have to pick one or the other in a way and if I pick say like starting a family I cant really do the other humanitarian things I want to do.

If I was to go the humanitarian way - how would I get started, i.e. what do I have to offer? I really would like to help people .....just forgot what I was saying....I guess after typing this out if I was to go do the humanitarian thing there is ways I could do the other things i.e. start a family overseas, and my other personal goals could be achieved from over there i.e. write a book etc

mmmmmm I'm confused and if anyone reads this I'm sure they will be too ha ha

Anyone have links or experiences starting orphanages or doing work overseas or nationally?

[santiago]

im convinced heading bush for one night is a type of healing for the psyche. of course without the guts to do it myself i hope i can convince others to do it instead. it has to be proper bushland and solo, if you do please explain the story..

[matriarch]

True, true, I do definitely feel that too and used to get out bush a fair bit when I lived back in the country - maybe that's what I need? Sometimes I feel I want to escape society but now I'm thinking I just need to change societies kinda think i.e. places like 3rd world countries where the focus is on relationships and surviving instead of what car you drive and the clothes you wear, and people who rely on the land instead of just take it for granted.

[coco]

go for it, if you feel like that it may help yourself and someone else

[bℓσωηG]

 

http://www.sumbafoundation.org/ i wish i could go off for a year or two and help an entire village

[faustus]

my post was gonna be longer, but i'm uber sleepy right now.

i think you should try to understand why it is that you want to do what you want to do. if you decide it's something you're genuinely interested in, then set in motion changes in your life to achieve that goal.

why not continue with the design, save up, and travel o/s? there are plenty of charities that will let you work for them in 3rd world countries, though generally you gotta pay for your plane ticket. once it becomes clear that this is your calling, then you can take more serious steps towards a career in that.

have you ever done charity work in australia? we have 3rd world conditions in our own country e.g. some aboriginal communities, why not try something out over here and see how you fare? even helping the homeless will be insightful for you.

but the important thing is to not burn your bridges: i take it that you're reasonably young, early 20s perhaps? cunts change their minds all the time, and i think early 20s is far too early to decide what it is that you should be doing for the rest of your life.

[Slybacon]

If in doubt , take the next small step.

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written."

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative --- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

 

Edited May 16, 2010 by Slybacon

[rogdog]

my post was gonna be longer, but i'm uber sleepy right now.

i think you should try to understand why it is that you want to do what you want to do. if you decide it's something you're genuinely interested in, then set in motion changes in your life to achieve that goal.

why not continue with the design, save up, and travel o/s? there are plenty of charities that will let you work for them in 3rd world countries, though generally you gotta pay for your plane ticket. once it becomes clear that this is your calling, then you can take more serious steps towards a career in that.

have you ever done charity work in australia? we have 3rd world conditions in our own country e.g. some aboriginal communities, why not try something out over here and see how you fare? even helping the homeless will be insightful for you.

but the important thing is to not burn your bridges: i take it that you're reasonably young, early 20s perhaps? cunts change their minds all the time, and i think early 20s is far too early to decide what it is that you should be doing for the rest of your life.

 

This sounds like really good advice. There is plenty that can be done to help the needy localy. Volunteering in soup kitchens, visiting old folks in nursing homes, lots of activities that can brighten up someones life, even for a short time.

Great post from Slybacon as well, I will print that page and stick it to the fridge for inspiration.

[matriarch]

Cheers guys, all of the advice has been really helpful. Anyone done soupkitchens/volunteering and stuff in Sydney perchance - before I do my own research?

[Slybacon]

No soup kitchens but Ive gone to the nursing home when my pop was there and cut all the old geezers hair. I started by just doing my pops but soon all the old men wanted a hair cut. They love it, just a quick snip and a bit of a chat makes them feel heaps better. Alot of them don't have family and just some attention is all they crave. Pretty easy to do as most of them have minimal hair, hehehe. Good luck

PS- Be prepared to asked to smuggle in booze for them. I used sneek a bit of scotch for one guy. He was only like 40 and a stroke victim with no family i couldn't help but bring him a few drinks even tho its a bit naughty

Edited May 17, 2010 by Slybacon

[botanika]

Hey so I think this is the right place for this?

So just to warn you if you have unsuspectingly stumbled on this post that be prepared for a rant. I don't really know what exactly I am going to be saying and I guess that's the problem.

So mainly I am just confused about life and possibly maybe scared like worried about finding contentedness.

I would like to think of myself as being strong willed, determined and when I put my mind to something; can make it happen and I guess it's through those traits that I have always felt confident in the fact that whatever I do in life I will be successful at it....what happened to make that disappear recently?

I guess the fact is that I am 'becoming my own person' i.e. I moved out of home (country) around three years ago after finishing school to continue studies (city), have recently turned vegan and have started to develop my own kind of opinions on things instead of assuming my parent's. I am very passionate about things if I believe in them and feel I have a strong set of principles that I gauge both people and life by.

I am goal orientated and always saw myself as having the dream home, a collection of cars, a financially stable position blah blah blah. Recently my goals have all changed and I think it is because of my design studies and I have felt a huge sadness at how materialistic people have become at such an expense to the environment, I feel myself sickened at times by societies ignorance and self appreciation etc.

I guess my main clarity is required in regards to what I want to do in life, I thought I wanted to be a designer and have moved on to wanting to be an artist mean whilst I still want to achieve so many other personal goals i.e. start a family, yet ultimately I want to leave my mark in history and do something that will be remembered (slightly egotistic but mmmm). In addition to those personal goals and urges I have a MASSIVE urge to go somewhere and help people especially in 3rd world countries by building infrastructure, relationships helping set up orphanages, looking after sick people etc... I guess I feel like I have to pick one or the other in a way and if I pick say like starting a family I cant really do the other humanitarian things I want to do.

If I was to go the humanitarian way - how would I get started, i.e. what do I have to offer? I really would like to help people .....just forgot what I was saying....I guess after typing this out if I was to go do the humanitarian thing there is ways I could do the other things i.e. start a family overseas, and my other personal goals could be achieved from over there i.e. write a book etc

mmmmmm I'm confused and if anyone reads this I'm sure they will be too ha ha

Anyone have links or experiences starting orphanages or doing work overseas or nationally?

 

What you are experiencing is called youth. Relish the confusion, applaud the lack of direction, celebrate the uncertainties and do as much as you can before your body/job/family frames your life into a neat picture to hang on the wall