hutch Posted January 12, 2010 Just got back from a foreign country. Whilst there a friend gave me some Mexican tripping herbs. I packed a fairly large cone full, sat down in an arm chair and toked the lot in one hit. Held it in for a few seconds whilst placing the bong down and let it go. Holy fucken hell. I have read so much about what to expect but it is nothing like that. I was gone from this reality. I really thought for a bit that I was gone and I was so sad of that. My past was over my shoulder and disappearing at an amazing pace and I thought I wouldn't ever be able to find my way back. I remember I even said goodbye to my mate which is strange because I never gave my wife or my mom, dad or my kids a second thought. I actually thought someone was reaching out and grabbing my hand so I was focusing on pulling myself towards who ever that was but as it turned out I had grabbed the back of the couch. Wow! I am still spinning out over this but am pissed off I can't find the words to describe it. Is this what I have heard described as losing your ego? It wasn't just ego. It was me! All of me. There is just no way I can describe it. I am afraid that I have scared myself into never trying to reach those heights again and that would be a shame. I just had to write something down about this experience. I am wondering if that is what happens when you die? God this has scared me... Hutch Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Quill Posted January 12, 2010 Salvia? Always wanted to try it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yeti101 Posted January 12, 2010 lol Sounds similar to an experience I had many years ago. Experiencing time as a distance or vector is not uncommon. Personally it didn't scare me because it was too weird and alien (and yet also strangely familiar and comforting) to be frightening. But just because I was not adverse to the fields of light I visited, doesn't mean it wasn't a extremely psychologically taxing event! And yes, I suspect that my experience is somehow related to death. Don't fret about how hight your heights are, you don't always need to do something extreme to make it worthwhile. I'd love to live somewhere I could partake again... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
reptyle Posted January 12, 2010 hahah....haha...wee child, ,man the fuck up...or go push a baby out your punnanie! initiated much? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JDanger Posted January 12, 2010 ^ Rude. What number we up to, Reptyle? Been there, Hutch. That kind of experience tends to be scarier when it hits fast. It's awfully disorientating and impossible to pepare for, even with a load of practice under your belt. Try starting slow to get a feel for the material before throwing yourself into the meat grinder like that. Methinks Yeti is on the money when he says you don't need to do anything extreme to make it worthwhile. That's not to say frying doesn't have a place, but it's usually difficult to build things entirely out of explosions. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
reptyle Posted January 12, 2010 somwhere in and around about the 300 mark... for such instantaneous dimethylel'y overwhelming suchnesses... elsewise...where well into the thousands...such little that we have to say...such is trueth. though, i still stand by the manning of the up...too many people get lost in the worry and fall helpless victim to that which holds immensity in the palm of its hand... dont let go of courage! also...wickid post fo shizzle. haha is all really...haha. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
holymountain Posted January 12, 2010 everyone has to start somewhere and i call bullshit on anyone who says they weren't at least frightened the first time they crossed over. there's nothing wrong with being frightened. if anything it makes an experience more valuable and powerful. sure after multiple experiences you become hardened but is that necessarily a good thing? i know when i've been a bit too cocky before partaking i've had my ass well and truly kicked. and rightly so. hutch i have a feeling you'll be back. the door is open now and whilst you may never get the answers to the questions posed you'll certainly have an interesting time searching for more clues. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Teotzlcoatl Posted January 12, 2010 I wouldn't smoke Salvia divinorum if you paid me. Try chewing the fresh leafs from a live plant. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hutch Posted January 12, 2010 Thanks for your kind thoughts reptile, agree, maybe I do need to man up. No matter what you read I don't think anybody would be ready for an experience like that. You can't even explain something like that and you sure can't imagine it. As I was travelling backwards at an incredible speed I could hear myself asking questions as I was coming to realizations. I remember this much, I asked "I am not really me am I" and then another wave washed over me and I said "this universe is not real is it" and I really thought it wasn't. I just can not explain the fear that I felt that this life was over and it didn't matter. I am sure I will jump back on the bike. I know it's best to chew fresh leaves teotzlcoatl but we all don't have them growing in our garden here in Aus. I'm sure some do but I haven't found any yet. (Searching) I am still extremely puzzled by what I experienced. Could it be all a figment of our imaginations or was it real? I would be most interested in hearing of other peoples experience in regards to sally and dmt. It's funny now because I can read Erowid trip reports with a whole new understanding. I thought I understood them before but wow was I wrong.... Cheers guys Hutch Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JDanger Posted January 12, 2010 (edited) somwhere in and around about the 300 mark... for such instantaneous dimethylel'y overwhelming suchnesses... elsewise...where well into the thousands...such little that we have to say...such is trueth. though, i still stand by the manning of the up...too many people get lost in the worry and fall helpless victim to that which holds immensity in the palm of its hand... dont let go of courage! also...wickid post fo shizzle. haha is all really...haha. Solid stats I also support the manning of the up, though it's not so much the message as the delivery which I find objectionable. If I had just returned from a frightening voyage, "man the fuck up" probably would be of little help to me; it smacks of negativity. The fear induced by such an experience is negative enough. Adding more negativity simply makes it more negative. Hutch, it sounds like you jumped right into a confrontation with what's essentially fear of death. We all have it, and it's something that should be resolved. Entheogens are a pretty good tool for doing so. To me, it seems like overcoming that fundamental fear of losing one's self is perhaps one of the obstacles that lies further down the trail, and it would be prudent to start at a comfortable level and build up to the point where losing yourself becomes an ecstatic, rather than terrifying experience. I'm not sure why you took the ride in the first place, but if the experience leaves you in a quivering puddle with no real understanding of what's going on, you're probably not getting the most out of your tools. In any case, I hope you're left with a sense of the power at hand. Treat it with respect, and it will be reciprocated. As Reptyle said, don't let go of courage, but it's understandable if there is no longer any You to hold on to it. Anyway, I hope you get something valuable out of it. If nothing else, enjoy the relief of relative normalcy [edit] delayed response As far as it being real goes, it was as real (if not more real) than any other experience. Even imagination is grounded in reality. It's just less rigid than the physical world we share. Edited January 12, 2010 by JDanger Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nabraxas Posted January 12, 2010 (edited) the way it seems to present itself as more "real" than "reality". Unlike any other psychoactive or disassociate i've taken, where you always know at some level that it's a reaction between your brain & the drug which is distorting your perception; salvia feels like it's correcting your perception. & this is someone elses experience, but it mirrors mine exactly: The essence was - I had 'woken up' from the dream thatI'd been thinking was my real life (i.e., where I am right now, in matter-energy-space-time). It was a most unpleasant realization, since I had no idea how to get back to that 'dream', and the feeling of being outside, truly and cosmically OUTSIDE, was the exact opposite of comfortable. There were entities there that I couldn't see, but which were laughing at me for having believed that _this_ was real. Doing it in a foriegn country doesn't help either. I was thinking (along w/the thousand other thoughts, feelings & sensory impressions rushing through my mind) that when the men in the white coats came that, as i don't speak Dutch, i wouldn't be able to explain what was "wrong" Edited January 12, 2010 by nabraxas Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hutch Posted January 13, 2010 (edited) JDanger, your right, I jumped in! Wow hey! I am now just blown away by this experience and whilst being the scariest thing I have ever done it is also the best thing I have ever done. I am "buzzing" for want of a better word that I just can't find at the moment. I feel alive and eager for more of my life but also excited at the prospect of where I went and what more there is to see and learn. Sort of glad I did jump in in a big way as strange as that may sound. I feel like I know something others don't know and I should be sharing it with them. I can see how this could fix a fuddled mind. This plant has earned my respect and shall have it for the rest of my life. The universe in a cone. Nabraxas, that quote is brilliant and describes it better than I ever could, truly awesome and thanks for sharing. I also felt that there were others or an entity that was laughing at me for being so sucked in to this fake life and I felt so disappointed, like how could I have been so dumb. How can I feel that exact same feeling that others have felt? I get a little anxious in the tummy when I think of that feeling again but am keen to explore further when next overseas. Cheers Hutch Edited January 13, 2010 by hutch Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nabraxas Posted January 13, 2010 (edited) How can I feel that exact same feeling that others have felt? More than any other hallucinogenic drug i know ov the experience ov salvia seems to be similar for many people. Check out the experience reports: http://www.erowid.org/experiences/subs/exp_Salvia_divinorum.shtml Edited January 13, 2010 by nabraxas Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hutch Posted January 13, 2010 More than any other hallucinogenic drug i know ov the experience ov salvia seems to be similar for many people. Check out the experience reports: http://www.erowid.org/experiences/subs/exp_Salvia_divinorum.shtml Thats strange, I was already at that link when this popped up in my emails. do do do do, do do do do, Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FancyPants Posted January 13, 2010 Goddamn I hate that I missed the boat on that plant. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
reptyle Posted January 14, 2010 Somebody build that man a boat. Don't worry buddy we'll be doing round trips all afternoon until about 7 and then we start again in the morning from 5:30... Its usually about $30 for a ticket, but that will last all day...pensioners prices are double. Usually Sunday is our busiest, so if you want extra information from the tour guides its better to show up on Friday or Saturday. Somebody build that man a boat. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hutch Posted January 18, 2010 somwhere in and around about the 300 mark... for such instantaneous dimethylel'y overwhelming suchnesses... elsewise...where well into the thousands...such little that we have to say...such is trueth. though, i still stand by the manning of the up...too many people get lost in the worry and fall helpless victim to that which holds immensity in the palm of its hand... dont let go of courage! also...wickid post fo shizzle. haha is all really...haha. You know reptile, every now and again I like to return to your post's and have a re read to see if they make more sense with the passing of time. You know, like there is a joke there I just haven't got yet, but, I will. But NO! Sorry but I just don't get you Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JDanger Posted January 18, 2010 (edited) Reptyle should write a book and hire a translator with the proceeds. Makes sense to me. [edit] Ahah... Edited January 18, 2010 by JDanger Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ThunderIdeal Posted January 20, 2010 (edited) this thread is so great. glad i wasn't here to alter it earlier. hutch nabraxas some of reptyle's posts might hit home for you after this. accept destruction, i reckon, thou who art 'not really'. Edited January 20, 2010 by ThunderIdeal Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
