Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

[faustus]

 

 

 

 

Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

 

 

 

 

 

 

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

[MindExpansion]

heheh good stuff man, great little list.

Peace

[JDanger]

Sounds like everyone I grew up with.

[Auxin]

I especially like #1. In my experience the average agnostic knows Far more about christianity than the average, or even the majority of christians. Probably because agnostics actually critically think about it.

[rahli]

That little prigs and three-quarter-mad men may have the conceit that the laws of nature are constantly broken for their sakes - such an intensification of every kind of selfishness into the infinite, into the impertinent, cannot be branded with too much contempt. And yet Christianity (any form of mythic-literalism) owes its triumph to this miserable flattery of personal vanity: it was precisely all the failures, all the rebellious-minded, all the less favoured, the whole scum and refuse of humanity who were thus won over to it: The "salvation of the soul" - in plain language: "the world revolves around me."

- Freidrich Nietzsche

Edited March 22, 2009 by rahli

[baphomet]

Top Ten Signs Your A Fucking Idiot

10 You have no problem with someone quoting violent verses from the old testament to criticise christianity, yet your vag starts bleeding uncontrollably when someone does the same thing to criticise judaism.

9 You are so fucking stupid that you don't even realise that the old testament is actually the "holy" book of the JEWS and is condemned by many christians.

8 You have no problem criticising christians for being intolerant of other religions yet you are unaware of the (far worse) religious intolerance found in the "holy" books of islam and judaism directed at christians.

7 You demonise those who try to point this out to you and label them as "islamophobes" & "antisemites".

6 You dont see the blatant hypocracy in this.

5 You have no problem criticising the teachings of a man who (if he existed) was probably on par with the buddha as two of the most peaceful men in history yet you demonise and label as "islamophobic" anyone who tries to point out that mohamed was a theiving, mass murdering, pedeophile warlord who cut off the heads of innocent women and children and urged his followers to commit similar heinous acts and is responsible for many of the problems that afflict the world to this day.

4 You are so incomprehensibly stupid that you see it as wrong to criticise a religion that calls for you to be killed.

3 Your flawed, generic sense of morality that you think makes you so superior to those who you label "antisemites" & "islamphobes" also condemns racism, homophobia, sexism, rape, murder, etc but you are so unbelievably fucking stupid that you don't see the paradoxical hypocracy in this which makes it impossible to be against religious intolerance and racism, homophobia, etc if the religion itself preaches these things.

2 You think your moral stance on these issues is infallable and that those who you label as "antisemites", "islamophobes" must be ignorant fools yet you are baphled when you find that you are unable to debate these issues with someone who fits the bill.

1 The previous 9 points describe you to a tee but you still think you have a superior sense of logic & reason to christian fundamentalists.

Feel free to have a go at me and feel safe in the knowledge that I wont respond and highlight your stupidity because I refuse to be dragged into a shitfight with idiots ever again.

Edited March 23, 2009 by baphomet

[MindExpansion]

You do make me giggle bapho.

Heheh

vvvvv

Edited March 22, 2009 by MindExpansion

[JDanger]

Top Ten Signs You're a Nazi:

Oh, never mind.

[The Dude]

Feel free to have a go at me and feel safe in the knowledge that I wont respond and highlight your stupidity because I refuse to be dragged into a shitfight with idiots ever again.

you are a sparkling, unique, beautiful gem. there is none other like you. Please don't stop you're self-important, high-horse straddling, fecal matter launching tirades. They bring a tear of joy to my eye as i watch you attempt to put others down only to dig yourself a bigger hole. It gives me joy to know I am not quite so deluded. It's a weird thing how seeing others suffering brings me joy, it's the whole contrast thing, i can appreciate my good humor and emotional stability when i see someone falling all over the place with theirs.

The self-apparent irony of your statement "I refuse to be dragged into a shitfight with idiots ever again." is almost too hilarious!!! I won't bother interpreting another one of your irony overload self-referential gems here, you obviously know what you're doing when you attempt to provoke your usual nonsense, you know how ridiculous you sound. i'd be wasting my typing to explain this obvious shit to you. I just wanted to say "thank you baphomet"

A tantrum is an emotional outburst of ill humor or a fit of bad temper wherein the higher brain functions are unable to stop the emotional expression of the lower (emotional and physical) brain functions. It can be categorized by an irrational fit of crying, screaming, defiance, and a resistance to every attempt at pacification in which even physical control is lost. The person may not stand or sit on their own. Even when the "goal" of the person is met, he or she is not calmed.

hehe I can imagine you just fidgeting away in front of your keyboard as you type this emo-fueled shit. Just like your previous avatar of the fella smashing his head on the keyboard. I hope you realise you're presence here on these boards is a bit of a joke (with these types of posts anyway), but we all need a laugh. Don't worry we all get laughed at sometimes, be proud of your position as the class clown.

[kenny]

I have to say, both lists make some good points. I tend to prefer the first one though.

Honestly I had a hard time responding to this because I take issue with much of what you said Baph.

7 You demonise those who try to point this out to you and label them as "islamophobes" & "antisemites".

I don't see either of those words used anywhere in the original post. The point as I saw it was that Theists are hypocrites full stop, Christians just happened to be the target group today.

4 You are so incomprehensibly stupid that you see it as wrong to criticise a religion that calls for you to be killed.

I can only assume your talking about the Quran/Koran here. Either your being deliberately vuage or you are terribly mis-informed. If your point is something along the lines of ' The Koran calls for Muslims to kill all infidels ' you are sadly mistaken.

The Koran never calls for unjust killing of anyone for any reason. I really don't see a point in turning this into a theological debate just yet, but simply put. Muslims are only permitted to kill 'Infidels' in situations where 1) they need to defend themselves from a life threatening attack 2) the 'infidel' or neighboring pagan tribe ect... has broken a treatie agreement. I'm no scholar but that's the gist of it. - those reasons sound pretty reasonable to me.

3 Your flawed, generic sense of morality that you think makes you so superior to those who you label "antisemites" & "islamphobes" also condemns racism, homophobia, sexism, rape, murder, etc but you are so unbelievably fucking stupid that you don't see the paradoxical hypocracy in this which makes it impossible to be against religious intolerance and racism, homophobia, etc if the religion itself preaches these things.

You mention the apparent redundancy of the O.T which is all good and well. Just tell me, when are Christians going to realize that ? I mean, when it comes to a debate about the horrors of the O.T God they are happy to say " Oh... But Jesus came and now its all ok ! we are good people now "

Other than that, they are quite happy to spit at Homosexuals, force black people to sit at the back of the bus, deny women of equal employment opportunities. Also, my only comment in regards to Rape and Murder would be that the good majority of Murderers and Rapists confess before the courts to being ' Christian ' in western countries. Typically in the USA (sorry I don't actually have the source at hand for that tid bit) You can read into that how ever you want though.

And yes... The sitting at the back of the bus thing and all that, it ended decades ago for the most part. Why though? It certainly was not an initiative of the Church of Jesus Christ! That's for sure!

2 You think your moral stance on these issues is infallable and that those who you label as "antisemites", "islamophobes" must be ignorant fools yet you are baphled when you find that you are unable to debate these issues with someone who fits the bill.

E-bash me for disagreeing with you if you wish. I stand by the fact that Christian Fundamentalists are as bad as any other Extremist Religious group though.

Edited March 23, 2009 by kenny

[baphomet]

E-bash me for disagreeing with you if you wish.

No thanks, I wont be E-bashing anyone. (edit: oops, I couldn't help myself )

Muslims are only permitted to kill 'Infidels' in situations where 1) they need to defend themselves from a life threatening attack 2) the 'infidel' or neighboring pagan tribe ect... has broken a treatie agreement. I'm no scholar but that's the gist of it. - those reasons sound pretty reasonable to me.

I wont be debating anything either but I would urge you to research these things a little further.. I have looked into it quite a bit so as I'm sure you will understand I have read similar things, probably the same articles that lead you to this conclusion. I have looked at the information presented from both muslim apologists and those on the other side of the coin and to be honest, there are a lot of lies and propaganda from both sides and it is easy to be mislead. For example the people behind the popular series on dispatches called 'UNDERCOVER MOSQUE' are a zionist think tank called 'Policy Exchange', jihad watch is run by jews, jew watch is run by white supremacists and so on.. Though there may be some hidden agenda on either side, that doesn't mean that all the information being presented is not true, it just means that you need to question the motivations of those who are giving you this information. The only thing I have found to be dishonest from the undercover mosque documentaries is that at least one of the quotes was probably taken out of context, but most of them can not be excused regardless of their context, as I'm sure you will agree there is no proper context for an imam saying things like "take the homosexual man and throw him off the cliff" (unless they were talking about helping him with handgliding or something ) There was also some controversy about the receipts from the purchase of certain hate material too in that film but I watched an interview with the film maker and I believe he cleared it up sufficiently.

So in short.. there is some dishonesty on both sides and intent to mislead but the conclusion that I have come to is that it is mostly on the part of the apologists for islam who lie and deceive us into thinking that islam is a religion of peace. There are some peaceful & tolerant verses that can be quoted from the days of islams infancy which make it out to be a peaceful religion but one must take into account the latter verses and the hadith (life of mohammed) which are believed by most muslim scholars to over ride these previous peaceful verses, islam is a contradictory hypocritical creed so by cherry picking quotes it is easy to make it look peaceful but that is not the whole truth. For example:

"he who wrongs a Jew or a Christian will have me as his accuser on the Day of Judgment"

"Allah's Apostle said, "The Hour will not be established until you fight with the Jews, and the stone behind which a Jew will be hiding will say. "O Muslim! There is a Jew hiding behind me, so kill him."

So as you can see if a muslim says that the koran forbids muslims to harm jews, they are not exactly lying but are they being deceitful and not telling you the whole truth? You decide..

You may find this hard to believe but my views on islam, judaism, etc were not predetermined by a will to find an excuse to hate someone, nor can anyone rightfully call me ignorant about these matters, I have made some anti islamic, anti judaic statements which I stand by but no one here can rightfully accuse me of going off half cocked about something I know nothing about. I think majority of the population (politically correct idiots who can't think for themselves) assume that "antisemites" and "islamophobes" must be ignorant people who know nothing about these faiths but I think I have proved (at least to myself) that this is not the case, it is usually those who stick up for these faiths who are ignorant ones.

I disagree with your statement about what islam allows in regards to killing but will not get into a debate about it now, this will be my last post in this thread but I think it would be healthy for you to look at this from a different angle, try watching this for a start: http://video.google.com.au/videosearch?q=i...islam+what+the#

EDIT: "I don't see either of those words used anywhere in the original post. The point as I saw it was that Theists are hypocrites full stop, Christians just happened to be the target group today."

You obviously haven't been following the other threads about religion lately My point was that people are quite happy to criticise christians but are terrified of uttering the word "jew", they use the old testament to criticise christians while most of these dickheads don't even know that it is actually better known as the Torah and is the holy book of the jews, so all the shit slung at christians should also be directed towards jews and in many cases should not be directed towards christians at all because many of them condemn this book and don't believe it had anything to do with the teachings of jesus. Not only should jews be criticised over the torah but the talmud too.. It is now acceptable to criticise christianity but totally taboo to criticise judaism when in fact the truth of the matter is that christianity is a far better religion than judaism no matter which way you look at it and only a fuck head who knows nothing about either would say otherwise!!

You say that christians just happened to be the target group today.. Well I have seen other days when they have also been the target group but when was the last time that anyone other than myself ever made jews or muslims "the target group" on this forum? And what was the reaction when I did that? A lot fkn different that's for sure.. Don't you get it? Don't you see the problem here??

You mention the apparent redundancy of the O.T which is all good and well. Just tell me, when are Christians going to realize that ? I mean, when it comes to a debate about the horrors of the O.T God they are happy to say " Oh... But Jesus came and now its all ok ! we are good people now "

When will people realise that like I said many christians believe that the OT has nothing to do with the teachings of jesus at all (despite the attempts in the new testament to try to link jesus to the lineage of david to give him credibility as the moschiach), but it is impossible for a jew to distance themselves from the "old testament" even if they say they are not religious cause that which defines them as being "jewish" stems from this disgusting waste of paper known as the torah.

Other than that, they are quite happy to spit at Homosexuals, force black people to sit at the back of the bus, deny women of equal employment opportunities. Also, my only comment in regards to Rape and Murder would be that the good majority of Murderers and Rapists confess before the courts to being ' Christian ' in western countries. Typically in the USA (sorry I don't actually have the source at hand for that tid bit) You can read into that how ever you want though.

And yes... The sitting at the back of the bus thing and all that, it ended decades ago for the most part. Why though? It certainly was not an initiative of the Church of Jesus Christ! That's for sure!

You are making a statement that is worse than any I have ever made about any religious group but most people will be too stupid to realise that, the last idiot I tried discussing this with had to lie to in order to make it look like I was making rash generalisations about religious groups but I don't have to lie about you doing it.. Take a good look at what you wrote, it is total fucking nonsense to begin with.. Not all christians spit at homosexuals and make black people sit at the back of the bus but if I wrote something like that about jews all the politically correct idiots would be all over me in no time.. think about it.. do you see the double standard here that I am trying to point out?

Christian fundamentalists think that they are more enlightened than all the rest of us whilst we are all aware of the fact that they are totally fucking deluded and you guys are criticising them for that, but I think it's time you see it from my point of view and get a taste of your own medicine... Many of you (not all of you) think you are enlightened beings with a more "expanded state of consciousness" than the rest of society.. but are in fact just a bunch of drugged up, wacked out deluded weirdos which makes you no better and not much different to christian fundamentalists IMO.. And the irony of this is not lost on me that's for sure...

Edited March 23, 2009 by baphomet

[kenny]

I will skip the first part of your response because it will almost demand you to respond and I agree, no point turning this into a futile theological discussion that (as always) will end in " its all about interpretation of the text "

As for the second part about Christians using the O.T and abusing blacks ect...

Obviously my examples were more of an example of pre 1960-70? American culture which we know was, and still very much is, dominantly christian. These type of acts were socially acceptable and almost expected from the average person(god fearing christian). All of the things that I mentioned did happen for a long time. My point was this...

Why would a nation of good N.T Christians behave in such a way, when it was the O.T that endorsed this behavior and the N.T that spoke of equality and love/respect for all.

hmm... after reading over what I just wrote, its pretty much what I originally posted. Maybe the rephrasing will help, maybe not.

Its getting late *yawns*. Maybe you can explain how it was nonsense.

[baphomet]

I will skip the first part of your response because it will almost demand you to respond and I agree, no point turning this into a futile theological discussion that (as always) will end in " its all about interpretation of the text "

As for the second part about Christians using the O.T and abusing blacks ect...

Obviously my examples were more of an example of pre 1960-70? American culture which we know was, and still very much is, dominantly christian. These type of acts were socially acceptable and almost expected from the average person(god fearing christian). All of the things that I mentioned did happen for a long time. My point was this...

Why would a nation of good N.T Christians behave in such a way, when it was the O.T that endorsed this behavior and the N.T that spoke of equality and love/respect for all.

hmm... after reading over what I just wrote, its pretty much what I originally posted. Maybe the rephrasing will help, maybe not.

Its getting late *yawns*. Maybe you can explain how it was nonsense.

It's nonsense and it's a rash generalisation because you said "THEY" have no problem spitting on homosexuals instead of saying "SOME (people who call themselves) CHRISTIANS", get it?? If I said Jews are greedy instead of some jews are greedy there would be hell to pay, people who dicussed this shit with me recently were waiting in vain for me to fuck up and make a generalisation like that about muslims or jews and one ended up lying about it and making shit up that I never even said, but if someone does it about christians there's no problem at all, they don't even notice... Never mind, if you don't get it by now you never will.

I will just leave it off on this note. The next time anyone thinks they have an expanded state of consciousness, think about this and the reactions it stirs in you when someone puts down judaism for something that is perfectly rational like the fact that it is a racist, homomophobic, religion that glorifies the rape and murder of innocent children.. I mean really think about it, it may help to brainstorm the word jew and see what you come up with, maybe you will find the words "victim" "holocaust" Nazi's" "persecution", "antisemitism" etc will come up and and if you dwell on it long enough you may find an unconscious deeply ingrained feeling of guilt and hesitation in the pit of your stomach at the very thought of criticising them.. Even though this criticism may be well founded, now think about it.. Are you really so enlightened or are you just brainwashed like the rest of us?

EDIT: " its all about interpretation of the text "

No it's not about interpretation of the fucking text.. I'm so sick of hearing that. It's about taking it in it's entirety or picking and choosing the parts that you like, there's no way that you can interpret the above verse that I posted any other way than it was meant to be.. Literally!

How the fuck else are you supposed to interpret this? (the other people here who have parroted that same statement are welcome to answer that question too if they dare) Even if you interpret in numerically there's no excusing it.

"Allah's Apostle said, "The Hour will not be established until you fight with the Jews, and the stone behind which a Jew will be hiding will say. "O Muslim! There is a Jew hiding behind me, so kill him."

I'm sick of hearing this usual line that "it was not meant to be taken literally".. Yes it fucking was!!! Are you telling me that you can put a positive spin on that verse? This I've got to hear..

(please understand that I am trying to make this my last post so I probably wont respond, but I wont be surprised if you (that means everyone who has ever said that to me, the dude, etc) avoid that last question all together)

Edited March 23, 2009 by baphomet

[MORG]

I wont be debating anything either...

He says before boring the shit out of everyone in 2008 words...

Edited March 23, 2009 by MORG

[kenny]

I will reword 'They' to 'Most'... because if it wasn't most Christians acting this way, It just might not have been such an issue for them nation wide. If this kind of thing happened in Palestine or Afghanistan or Israel, it is totally ok with me for people to say it. I wont call them 'islamophobes' or 'antisemites' so long as what is being said is accurate.

Maybe my wording in some of the previous posts was a bit provocative to you. If you can ignore words like 'All' and 'Most' though, and try to step back and think about the point I'm making. Even if it does sound like I am generalizing a bit too heavily. You will see that what I speak is truth. It's the 'general' perception of American N.T Christian Culture that I am speaking of, and I don't think anyone can disagree that the pre-1970 environment over there was way more oppressive to Blacks Women and Homosexuals.

The reason for this can only be tied to the Religious Ideology that ultimately defined the country, and pretty much still does. Fortunately now more people are aware that they have the option to think for themselves though.

-------------

It is difficult for me to respond to the quote you mentioned because, as per usual, it has been cherry picked. Because of this, the context is questionable. I did a search for that phrase and found it on a few 'Jihad Watch' sites. All of which are using it in the same way you have, several of which used slightly different wordings. Which goes to show that when you translate these things from arabic or hebrew or what ever else to english, the interpretation can change.

I will have to research this one further If I am to respond to it properly.

[Mycot]

I wont be debating anything either

it was not meant to be taken literally

[baphomet]

 

Yea, sorry, I got a bit carried away.

[devance]

http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message755134/pg1

A difficult subject but, will be proved.

But by God not me.

[Jethro Tull]

Great list, thanks for sharing that. This was my favorite:

"3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity."

I would also add something about how fundamentalists Christians think their way, Christianity in general, and blind faith in a non-existent judging God is "the only way." Also, whenever the Bible is used as hard evidence to back-up claims, I twitch and shudder. It is absurd.

They are missing the point. Jesus Christ said he was "the way, the truth and the life." "You can only get to Heaven by going through me."

You can only get to Heaven by going through the truth and the life.

This, I can agree with.

There are as many paths to the truth as there are unique perspectives.

Although they may be a force against the truth, I forgive fundamentalist Christians, for they know not what they do. I only hope that they may wake up from a deep sleep in due time.

[The Dude]

Jesus Christ is The Way the Truth and the Life, in a holographic story, there is only one path to take, it just twists and turns to our own perspectives, but we all walk the same path to knowledge. When Jesus speaks of salvation only through him he speaks the truth, as Christianity is more about a state of mind than some fella walking around doing miracles.

Jesus done no miracles, he only acted in gods name so that the mystery that is the universe, god and everything, could work miracles through him; the body of god or the divine made physically manifest. Taking that definition into consideration all existence is divinity manifest, it is only a matter of reconnecting to what we are and always were and always will be, we just forgetful. We must be lost to be found, to find ourselves. we must be in danger of mortal death and the sins of the world to be saved from it. Salvation is at Hand my friends. This is the only way

So when the path to salvation is found through jesus, it is through the teachings, the message and SPIRIT of jesus that we can find our own personal jesus, our own communication with our higher selves; the multifaceted symbol of integration between the self and everything (higher self, the other etc..). In a symbolic way I can understand the exclusivity of this path to knowledge only through jesus christ, if jesus christ and christianity themselves are symbolic of holy communion with god or mind expansion methods which means the spirit of jesus is interwoven everywhere you can find some revelatory gem of insight: buddhism, pagan beliefs, animism, occultism, or any poly/mono-theistic religions if they are indeed an initiation to the way the truth and the life of the genuine mystical state.

Once this state is reached, prior semantic differences from different divinely inspired texts designed to inspire divinity differently aren't held up with such vigilant prejudice as proof for or against a certain "ultimate truth" (they are maps, not the destination). The vigilance of some forcing their ideas of truth becomes hilarious in its futility because all our creations are seen as a, foolishness for the sake of it, misrepresentation of the TRUE truth anyway... Everything is true. but such is too simple a statement for us to have any fun getting lost in our words and worlds, hence the forces of darkness add mystery intrigue and.. darkness, forcing us to find the light.

[baphomet]

[Chiral]

Now now Baph whats all this getting dark and mysterious on us all...its a little creepy...better bring back the old Baph...

[Monk]

 

 

 

Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

 

 

 

 

 

 

Funny and entertaining stuff...

Top Ten Signs Your A Fucking Idiot

Over reacting and unrelated stuff...

posted on behalf of faustus without request

Edited March 27, 2009 by FM.

[puck]

the prodigal son returns...

i have something terribly embarrassing to admit, my friends. imagine my consternation and devastation when i come to realise that I am myself a Christian fundamentalist!

Seriously guys, I'm not actually joking. I've joined the dark side. But I gotta say, I am not in bad company. I'm not in any company, so far as I can tell. Now, before you go taking any of the bullshit on that straw-man-ridiculous-fallaciously-absurd list serious-like, consider this: I once saw on the website of westboro baptist church a photo of a woman with a "god hates fags" sign - one of many such photos, but this woman was wearing pants.

For any of you who might think that the westboro baptist church are fundies:

"You shall not lie with a man as with a woman; it is an abomination." (Lev 18:22) Yeah ok, but:

"A woman shall not wear a man's apparel, nor shall a man put on a woman's garment; for whoever does such things is abhorrent to the Lord your God." (Deut 22:5) And:

"For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get." (Matt 7:2)

They're not fundamentalists, they're hate-filled, fearful people who are trying to justify their hatred using a set of archaic laws given to the Israelites and NOT (unless I missed a meeting somewhere) to you and me.

A fundamentalist Christian is anyone who takes two verses of the Bible seriously: John 14:15 "If you love me, you will keep my commandments" and Matthew 5:19 "Whoever breaks one of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven." Jesus gives one hell of an emotional blackmail with the first one, and a bitch of a demand in the second, but if you accept those two, you're forced to accept the whole bloody lot. Which is how I find myself in my current predicament.

Good thing is, most of the people who call themselves fundies, or are accused of being fundies, are not even Christians. They are bigoted and judgmental fuckwits who Jesus talks about in Matt 21-23:

"Not everyone who says to me 'Lord, Lord' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven. On that day many will say to me, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many deeds of power in your name?' Then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; go away from me, you evil-doers."

Ok, maybe I'm a little judgmental myself. Far be it from me to be sinless. Maybe I should go flagellate myself for having the temerity and unwholesomeness for being the person that the perfect and holy God created me to be... How fucking dare I be a perfect and holy child of God just like everyone else?

Oh, hang on - I'm meant to feel pity for everyone who has different beliefs than I, because they're going to hell, right? Yeah, bullshit.

John 14:2 "There are many rooms in my Father's house. If it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you."

Dammit, I'm putting the 'fun' back in fundamentalist Christian dogma, and I will talk scripture with anyone who thinks that a Christian fundamentalist can be an arsehole. They can't. If they're an arsehole, they're not fundies. And if you're gonna get real technical, I'd say about .01% of those who identify as Christian actually are. That doesn't mean the rest of them are going to hell, but it does mean that they can't be held to the same high standards as a genuine Christian. So lay off them, ok? They're just clueless dickheads, like the rest of us.

Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

1. You love Jesus and prove it by doing EVERYTHING he tells you - and that includes picking up hitchhikers!

2. Jesus loves you and proves it by granting you peace throughout persecution and day-to-day shit

3. You get persecuted

4. You love everyone and everything, no matter how fucked up they are

5. You are homeless or wouldn't give a shit if you were, and don't care about clothes or money

6. You love Satan, and can't find a single scripture to prove that he's really a bad guy.

7. You have the keys to the kingdom of heaven, meaning that what you bind on earth is bound in heaven and what you loose on earth is loose in heaven (your personal earth and your personal heaven), and you're mighty pissed of that St Peter stole your keys and put them on the fucking Vatican flag. This is distinct from San Pedro, so named because of the keys...

8. You turn the other cheek when people come up violently against your subtle bodies, but if they cast a stone into your subtle bodies you cast it out - and pray for forgiveness if it hits them, and for a thicker subtle skin.

9. You understand that you get everything you pray for, just like everyone else, because your life is a manifestation of soul-needs based on free choices and how they interact with the soul-needs you incarnated with and picked up along the way. You come to understand your soul-desires by studying your life, and only then do you start to manifest answers to all your prayers, because you align them with your deeper soul-needs and desires.

10. You do greater things than Jesus ever did when he was walking around on earth. (John 14:12)

[devance]

Einstein

He was a jewish atheist.

He had his reasons.

But poor old Einstein is used for a icon for the national security state for nonreligious Techs.

So only the politicals and scientists[establisment] have any propaganda creadibility on TV.

The shaman idea is just that.

Nonpolical, non technical,

So just getting votes from tree huggers hoping Gaia will make it all be well like a kinder school for 4 year olds.