Pat Uri

Black DMT soap = what a wonderful idea. I take it you are thinking about how DMT is easier to come by than Indole to use as a perfume base to take away that sicky, cattle smell some soaps can have. Rose and jasmine as mid and top notes. Yep! and soaps have always be used as a way of taking up plant extracts = insecticidal nicotine soap is one of the most effective ways to use it on plants. Certainly caffeine soap has been becoming commercially successful. Not to mention soaps are legal GHB possession. But an idea I always thought would appeal to the macho alpha male market, you know the ones who think toiletries are for "girls" but sneak a little conditioner on the sly, use mum's deodorant, etc. by casting black soap in the shape of knuckle dusters. Legal, because they are useless as knuckle dusters, just a novelty, but still give that bad boy tuff guy rebel feel...pathetic...what ya reckon? If you can use the idea, I'll give to you for a beer = XXXX bitter of course because I'm such a man. Solid bro! PhaemonsDog PS - and if the soap didn't actually make bubbles you'd see them anyway.

When this P'Dog first read I had thought it the wittiest funny of the day - a very good thing and so clever of ThunderIdeal - of course you wouldn't break your car's partition if you were driving responsibly would you! The partition is the barrier between the front and rear passengers. But now it has dawned on me that TI and others, fact most people, might not be familiar with the term partition. Silly me. An excellent example of "partition" is the old A/B extraction. When a non-polar "oily" layer floats on top of the polar "water" layer the partition is where the two liquids meet. Materials in those solutions will cross back and forth across the partition until they set up an equilibrium - always be some material in both solutions, but the material will find the one it is most soluble in or likes being in the most. But this depends hugely on temperature, pH and saltiness of the water phase and the temperature and what else is in the oily organic solvent phase. Tweaking these factors, even a little bit, can make huge changes in the materials movements across the partition and even complex mixtures can have their bits singled out. So it is THC and freebase alkaloid prefers to stay in the fatty tissues, but THC carboxylic acid and the alkaloid salts prefer the watery tissues. The body has folds and folds of fatty layers and watery layers holding materials at different concentrations across these partitions. So it is that the concentration of material depends very much on what body fluid you have sampled, but also temperature, pH and the presence of other materials. This and the fact the body is continuously changing the chemistry of those materials. If you mix body fluids - that sounds rude doesn't it? - e.g. got blood and saliva in your mouth the partition is broken and equilibriums really changed. Introduce a co-solvent that is soluble, miscible, in both fatty layer and watery layer - e.g. ALCOHOL - and your testing is worthless, especially when you are mucking around the parts per billion, the partition is broken. Pity though - I thought it a cracker of a joke that I've just spoilt! OK. and bye 4 now!

P's Dog here Pat Uri has a strong chemistry background and has explained to me exactly how it works, but it went right over my head - Gee I'm a dog, not a cat, for goodness sake what do you expect? When he gets back from his walkabout - which accounts for the some of the CQ Yowie sightings lately - and if he's not so grumpy he'll explain and you peoples will probably get it better than me. But what I do know is it is a long way from satisfactory analysis and only the more expensive lab tests can determine true drug presence - not quantity, just presence. It is an Amplified Reverse Immunoassay test that is cheap and nasty a sort of "white-man-magic" to impress the public. Developed from the same tech as in a pregnancy test which was designed to pick up the few molecules of hCG that a fertilized egg releases when it implants in the womb. That's how tiny the amount of test material you need to set it off - you could blow a puff of smoke on it and set it off. Thousands of times less than could possibly "impair" you, you honestly wouldn't notice. It is hair triggered and often gives a false positive - that is says there is test material present, but really isn't. It very, very rarely gives a false negative - says nothing is there, when in fact you are on it. Of course we all know our truth - but every alcohol driver is in denial. ("So how many drinks have you had tonight, driver?" "Arrr - only one or two officer, not enough to be over the limit." lying through their teeth.) Stoners may well have had consumed hours before and genuinely don't feel impaired and are spun out when they get swabbed positive. No need to be, the swab is often wrong. See hCG is a whopping big molecule with hundreds of identification points - but d9-THC is tiny and the N-methyl,phenylisopropylamines tinier still all with only a couple of identification points. Fortunately that is what it tests for - not tetra hydrocannabinoid carboxylic acid which has no impairment. To make the pregnancy test they put hCG - only found in humans - into a bunny rabbit and as a foreign protein the bunny makes antibodies to it. Antibodies are even bigger proteins. These rabbit antibodies are removed and because they only react with hCG can be used to detect its presence in the part-per-billion range. The antibody gets a gold atom attached to each and every molecule and put on the butt end of a strip of film. When the film gets wet capillary action makes the gold labelled protein creep slowly to a point on the film that's got a gold activated invisible dye on it and the gold changes it to coloured meaning the antibody has made it to that part of the film. If there is hCGH in the "wet" it locks to the antibody making a dirty, dirty big protein that never makes it to the dye and so no colour appears - the positive result. To make the drug test, they find the drug receptor proteins from a sheep, and put those in the bunny. The bunny makes now sheep drug receptor protein antibodies. These bunny antibodies are put into another sheep that make antibodies to the rabbit antibodies of sheep drug receptor proteins - a big protein antibody. These anti-antibody-anti-receptor proteins are labelled and put on a strip with the other proteins. Theoretically in the presence of the test drug the receptor proteins close up, can't react with the antibodies that can react with the labelled anti-antibody-anti-receptor to make a dirty, dirty big protein and the gold never makes it to the dye and so no colour appears - the positive result. Tiny traces of a reaction that set off a bigger reaction to set off an even bigger reaction that stop a reaction from happening, hence the term amplified. One tiny flaw - its all crap! With so many steps there is more chance of failure in any of the preceding steps - and so the false positive. However the insurance companies wanted a cheap and quick test and they wanted it now. And drug companies don't say no to making money. So like it or not, another much more expensive test has to be done from an expensive machine the police have to cart with them. It may use tech only a little better than the swab, same antibody/antigen/dye tech but no amplification just a powerful microscope to read the test strip - less chance of false positive, but still there. Police hope that by the time you get to court it has been checked and verified by a lab using the proper gear. Sorry no way for me to explain it any simpler, and anyway it is still hocus pocus mumbo jumbo however explained. Pat Uri is the guru at explaining chemistry. Hope it helps a bit - even just to point out how complex it is that not even the testing constable really knows what they are actually doing....funny that. The mystique of the Law is the name given to the bluff - hoping you'll just plead guilty. Ever heard the one about the Emperor's new clothes? Had to give you good people something back for your support! Shine On!

Yeah many thanks folks. Seems to this furry, big mouth, long tongued P's Dawg that a bit of sneakiness is afoot. It is written its a roadside Breath Alcohol Concentration analysis O​R ​roadside Drug Analysis of Saliva, but it is not both. The blood/tissue/breath/saliva partition is a bit of a problem for both tests to be conducted together! If you have had anything in your mouth such as last drink, they have to wait twenty minutes for BAC - if your mouth is bleeding and the partition is broken and if you have been chewing high pH rum flavoured tobacco, or worse yet limed up betel, things get as complicated as alcohol mouthwash. If you have 0.0000% alcohol, but the officer "suspects" that you are impaired - speech slurred, red eyes, strange behaviour, a black fella playing roots reggae, white fella playing satanic metal etc. - then they can swab you. But have under-the-limit alcohol to explain your impairment and the partition is broken and the swab is compromised = so on your way and get the passenger to text everybody where the RID patrol are stationed and flash your lights at oncoming traffic...what a sticky, sticky web Babylon has spun! Have a little ganja stuck between your teeth from days before during a swab "and we'll see you in Botany Bay!". Serves you right for not flossing, ya pothead. So I take it that respected elder MP David Shoebridge's righteous words were not the favourite headline of the NSW mass media last week...That noble MP - may the Most High multiply his blessings - had to use the swear word "freedom of information" to extract it from Babylon anyway. Very controversial stuff for the Insurance Law prop. Ltd. shareholders and their media and political fingerpuppets isn't it? There is nothing this little dog loves more than a fresh pile of bullshit to roll around in when I find it. I do believe Pat Uri will be smoking a few cigars and sipping cognacs with his barrister over this one... Blessing all - keep PhaemonsDog up on the word of our fair democratic country, or lack there of. Hey ThundeIdeal did you hit him, Pat Uri, up for some tobacco - that's a reliable way to tell if it is him or not.

(Quote from Katu above:-) "How in gods name did Pat get an invite to Wilsons of Sharrow Centenary?? How big is his carry on luggage? Katu is a small guy and flights from Sydney to Heathrow can take as little as 24hrs nowadays...I would do unspeakable acts to attend that monumental gathering... I would of loved to try the F&T range before they were taken over by Wilsons. The old snuff aficionados swear it's not the same despite the recipes being unchanged. Different hands, barrels, factory, makes sense. Have got their Lundy Foot in my rotation at the moment. Lovely stuff." (Katu Quote ends.) Dare say you have it there Katu - Pat Uri did some unspeakable things to get his position - not as unspeakable as having "their Lundy Foot in his rotation" but...Pat Uri only travelled between states here in Australia recently, not overseas, that was last millennia, with carry on. Serious one now - don't go to Heathrow with contraband, man they will "pleasure you" with a marigold clad fist and have you crap in a fishtank for "their pleasure" if you so much as sniff of contraband. I understand the Pommie Customs are full on and make Guantanamo Bay look like a picnic place if you invoke their ire. They have the power to temporarily arrest you (WTF???) for having Poschl Snuffy Weiss until they are satisfied it ain't cocaine. Mind, and so they should punish users of those two atrocities = the coke and the snuffy Weiss! OK - you raised a excellent point. The old fartisans do claim "everything was better in their day" but in the case of tobacco there is an important, thread related reason. Tobacco like say wine is a natural product and it is near impossible to keep consistency in complex flavour year after year. Seasonal changes, soil conditions, etc. make one vintage better than another, one locality better than another, even one side of a crop better than the other etc . and it changes more frequently than Australian political leadership. You can tame it with artificial additives but that is the difference between cigarettes and quality cigars, or fine vintage wine and cordial. Cigarettes stay brand specific flavour year after year because they bleach out the flavour (know as "puffing" in the industry much like making ricebubbles and allows them to sell you the worthless stalk as tobacco - bastards, huh? but a fool and their money are easy to separate) and then artificially reflavour it. Chew makes it much simpler. Tobacco is worst for inconsistency - not even the same packet of same cigarettes taste identical. Regardless of cloning not every plant same, not even every leaf, or parts there of, off the same plant is the same. It gets worse - some tobacco is flavoursome, but won't burn; some will burn, but compact heavily; some has flavour, but won't keep; some will fill nicely but have no flavour; some will have all these but ugly, black ash; some will be okay in respects but be so scarce you can't get enough for feedstock to meet demand, etc.etc. blah. blah. The only way to get around it is to blend - tobacco must be blended to get all the right stuff. In fact as a general rule, the bottom leaves have good burning properties but no flavour, the middles have good body and pack well, but little flavour and less burning properties; and the tops have all the flavour but are dense and poor burning. Availability is the next biggest problem - once you've got a decent crop going and built a reputation, governments will come along and make new rules about where and how it can be sold. Then comes the problem of seasons and disease. In the old days people started in the tobacco fields at a young age and slowly learnt the strains and the curing. After decades they might become decent growers and a select few good at curing. A very few had the natural gift of sorting. But rarest were the ones who had the gift to 'taste', smell and distinguish potentially profitable good stuff. These were the elite few, natural athletes of tobacco with senses beyond us mere mortals - like wine tasters or gifted musicians of extraordinary superhuman ability. These demigods were captured by the Companies and flown all around the world to follow the markets, select the required feedstock, negotiate the bales, keep consistency in the product at something affordable, profitable for the company. Their talent was the make or break every year for the whole industry. They were the original "jet set" the term was coined after - mind you, not paid as much as they were really worth, anymore than a bloodhound is esteemed for its ability, rare as it might be. No computer or analytical lab can achieve the subtly of subjective human perception - and "know" what is a beautiful piece of art, an alluring perfume or an exquisite taste. But once the amazing critic has determined this only then can a little objectivity be made. No amount of analytical chemistry says what is good caapi, say, only bioassay from a knowledgeable shaman determines that. Same with tobacco. Sadly with our digital information age that mastery isn't around, people look for ratings and view counts, alkaloid levels and second hand reviews and the field isn't there to develop it. Its a world where people trust Wikipedia over their own sensibility. Instant "knowledge" rather than the years of hard yakka and dedication, first hand experience and genuine talent. So the tobacco business, like many others, aint the same for the simple lack of true, old school talent. No-one is left to make the art and trail blaze our future. Few have the guts to be the real heroes like the amazing Mr T of SAB to whom we all owe a great debt of gratitude for bringing us together. Yeah old Pat started out a shitkicker in the tobacco field and ended up one of the big jet set graders amongst the Internationals - all with that nose of his. Sozz I've had my speech for that dear old fart. But that is why the old school tobacco will never be the same. Regards P'sDog.

Taskmaster P'sDog in session, folks - J​​ah smiles on you all. In CQ anyway, first you are breath test for the alcohol. If you have = or < 0.0499% bless you and off you go. If you have = or > 0.0500% curse you pisshead and you stay for the grilling. Open license that is. If you have 0.0000%, or a P plater and you are swab tested for the drugs - especially the focus on the unmentionable herb. Yeah, I know conviction by numbers, but law is law. Now it is not that the man is encouraging, protecting and supporting the Government's enshrined alcohol habit, but any trace of oral alcohol changes the blood/tissue partition, interferes with enzymes and antibodies and makes swab testing contestable in court. No stresser be the Dog - only the Pat Uri has the power to make every computer in the 3rd world mass against a site at his bidding. - you mean a stirrer trying to cause a d.dos stampede of reply posts? But please good people - did you first hear the words of esteemed elder MP Shoebridge today here, or not? Faith and Love. P'sDog.

Respect! Brother Glaukus - many thanks for your kind regards in previous posts, solid bro- I love the local knowledge. Can you tell me if it is true these roadside tests for drugs involve first an alcohol test? By breath analysis, yes? Handsome you are. From P'sDog of clan Pat Uri.

I hear you, brother Maxofoz. But like Pat Uri would say "The law does not have to be right, the law does not have to be correct, the law does not have to be undiscriminationing:- the law must merely be the law, and that is that." AND he is a Tribal Law Maker - but man, I wish the likes of him made national laws! He also said something like "Social disobedience is necessary because the precursor to political and legal change has always been cultural change" or something really heady like that. You is so lucky, Pat Uri himself used to do big hash oil milkshakes (bhang lasski - I think they are called, something to do with Hindu aghori sadhus rituals secret Big Men's Business) and I mean tablespoons of the black oil went into them - absolutely hallucinogenic, nasty gear - daily, for years. When he gave up - to prove a point about cannabis not so addictive - he self tested his urine and for MONTHS it was testing positive, in spite of no use. Toward the end some days it would be positive, next days negative, then positive again for a while. He thought it hilarious. Didn't stop developers allowing him on site though (amongst his many talents he's a licensed builder of, no less, high rise - post stress tensioned, suspended concrete multilevel commercial structures. Recently the new (OBSCURED) shopping facility at Burleigh Heads - and man that is big clue to who he actually is. Oh, and plenty more funny stories to that one!) - they are very selective about the results of the test. So if anyone at Burleigh noticed a bare foot, black fella, sucking a cigar and wearing filthy hi-vis with big company logos OWNING that building site 24/7 and even sleeping on it - that was him. It is all nothing to do with public safety, fitness for work - it is all to do with Corporate Insurance underwriters attempting to worm out of their promises. So people don't blame It on the cops - they "only doing their job" or in the study of morality "defer to higher authority" the Stanford Prison experiment. The SS only burned the jews for the same reason - may Babylon fall! Yeah I was really interested why none of our ever vigilant NSW forum family posted this before me. Surely if a Member of the Legislative Council says citizens have been wrongfully persecuted by a faulty legio-medical test that should be BIG NEWS - even bigger than Miley Cyrus in a bikini - and all the NSW media should be baying for blood. Our forum brothers and sisters would be screaming it to our attention. Why does a dirty QLD dog have to break the news to forum?. Was it or was it not widely reported? I'd appreciate the news. Ta! P'sDog (phaemon's dog) Jah bless! Respect to y'all! Bye.

Yes, us dogs actually do wonder why you two legged humans don't fall over all the time. Man, I wish my old biology teacher was here he'd win hands down - but they sacked him when he was busted growing pot. A couple of his really strange bits of humour:- "What is the main activity of 'the sheep ked' Melophagus ovinus, a​ species of wingless fly?".....Walking. "Which neurological condition is better to have - Parkinson's or Altzimer's?".....Parkinson's, because it is better to spill a beer than to forget where you left it. (No cactus please, I live in Queensland.) Phaemon's Dog

Hey Distracted it's the RIGHT to privacy that is necessary. Just move to Queensland or spend some time in a Thai prison to know what I mean. If everyone did the right thing all the time it would be the Kingdom of Heaven - we wouldn't need police, laws or judicial systems...but guess what? Peace! P's Dog. (Mind you if you wanted to set your house up as a public reality TV show, I'd watch it!)

Oh - P's dog is not Pat's dog. No, no. Pat Uri doesn't keep dogs for the cattle reason. He'd love to, he is in hipster speak more "a dog person" than "a cat person" but he loves them all dogs, cats, cows, etc. He even loves dogs more than cattle because dogs are so hearty and sweet in nature, and cats lovely, but sharp and bony. He likes cat intestine though. Yep, dog over beef over cat...Gulp! Just another reason I keep out of his sight.

P's Dog 4 Pat Uri - thank you so much Alice you sexy chemist! What I said was a bit blunt. Apologies bio. Alice is so beautiful and very accurate like all chemists. To save you the equipment for destructive distillation, the alkaloidal loss and the terrible clean ups - roll it up into a cigarette and smoke it, as that is the same thing. Dig? Perhaps you should examine steam distillation. Pyrolysis is using the sledge hammer to crack the nut. Peace to you bio. Respect and love to you Alice. P's Dog ends.

P's Dog here - that's Phaemon's Dog, of course. Now we are talking! I agree with you katu, Toque makes great snuffs but in my opinion many of them suffer from having the same or a similar base tobacco. F&T to me are just on a whole other level... mhmmm Old Paris...quoted from Nibbana. Repect Nibbana! Respect Katu! ANY amount of imported Tobacco will be seized by Border Protection - If they detect it. The 200g limit is all over. We get away with it with Toque Rustica because Customs ain't smart enough to realise Toque's Declaration "nasal snuff" is actually 'tobacco snuff' - and wonder why we don't respect them! plus toque plastic bag flat packing doesn't come up the same way as tins or boxes of snuff in xray scans, looks more like cinnamon, etc. Plus sniffer dog narcs don't smell rustica the same way as tabacum. But for Pete's sake let us keep this our little secret. Plus Customs is all "huff and puff' or to use Donkey Wang's chinese expression "kill chicken, scare monkey" even synthetic designers "for research only not human consumption"(!!!!!) stand more chance of getting in, than seized. Yeah Katu was being very polite I think! The pommies really understand subtle, fine perfumes and flavours - their lollies and sweets are so delicate, not like our crude stuff. Toque is the Ronald McDonald of snuff - no offense, value but a bit 'ordinary' one feedstock no complex blending. WoS better and I really dig buying off a company that's near 300 year's old in continuous product. I think Pat's got a invit to go over and celebrate their 3rd centenary in a few years - but they are the original Euro Royal Family of tobacco, and that is not a polite thing to say. (Tell yas the yarn sometime.) F&T, same mob, is the top shelf stuff and use feedstocks that in some cases are hundreds of years old. Love their DR J R Justice, and Prince Special is like Bob Marley and Jacob Miller back from the dead and jammin' in your head! Because F&T use only nature sourced perfumes regardless of cost their Prince (one of Pat Uri's favourites because it matches his skin colour, so no accidental snuff moustache) got ambergris, and civet and tonquin deer musk - the nut juice off the stags that mark their territory and dominance. The property's bulls and mickeys (the cleanskins) known Pat since they were calves. Now cattle have bad eyesight but very good sense of smell and the remanent of F&T Prince musk on Pat Uri makes him smell like the KING BULL to even the wildest fighting scrubber. They'll charge out of the bush to crush any other man but stop dead, heads up and turn still waiting for him to pat them. Even the local police know better than to bring sniffer narc dogs onto the property. See - cattle hate dogs unless they know them. To cattle even little pet Tiddles the toy terrier smells like a wolf, their instinctual enemy, and a mickey will rip a car apart to kill it. But in the US there you might wanna watch out using the musky snuffs when hiking bush, not for feral bulls, but I understand deer musk is the dinner bell sounding for bears! Wilsons No 22 is excellent and twice the nicotine of F&T and WoS, but such good tobacco you don't notice. Save your money on Abraxas - as the name suggests it is a trendy, trustafarian gimmick. Sorry I've made a dog's breakfast of the quote thing - I'm on Pat's office laptop he left in Brissy (down for G20 - funny stories there, I tell you!) with "remember me" login, touchpad and key sensitivity set for a halfblind, arthritic old man. So much as spill yarndhi ash on it, which is happening, and it'll go off - either that or it's demonically possessed which, knowing him, is just as likely. Home country folk expected to see him yesterday for tobacco birthday (Columbus Day) but he's still walkabout, not even in the caves. The home boys played Inner Circle's "Mary, Mary" on the landcruiser's stereo loud as, but even that didn't flush him out. They reckon they did hear loud snoring off the tableland cliff though down the Callide valley somewhere though. Not me making comments about Fed Laws on tobacco that was housey Donkey Wang - he made the one above recommending Toque as equivalent mapacho. He is alright and very qualified herbalist, expert in traditional Asian medicine AND Pat Uri's adopted him because he is a devout barefoot (with scabies). Only a total tight arse like him would have you save bucks buying mapacho off toque, rather than support little companies but he is my clan brother and that is that. Plus what is wrong with a few opinions eh? that is what team work is all about and that is the way of our Elder law maker Pat Uri - the human chain, the "One World, One Love". Wang Donkey has started another work shift of 13 days so shouldn't hear much out of him. (Mind you at the time this thread was in Sustainable Tech. so I understand his penny pinching. Plus he is right - that ain't true mapacho rape' as you get from Peru and Brazil, et al South America) Assuming you don't mind the expense and it is worth it - given import duty - the most excellent pommie rustica rape' (or in English rapee) are Sir Walter Scott's. Don't be put off by the implied Royal Family connotation - even the most traditional Amazonian "headsplitter" "untouchable one" shaman will be your eternal friend with a gift of these - to them tobacco is more than a pressie, it is an icebreaker. The mapacho accentuated offerings are:- "St. James Parish Blend" and man, you are back with the Iroquois there! and "Auld Alliance", "all white mans sins are forgiven let us forge a new future together as brothers!" direct quoted review from tearfully grateful Don Kikuron; not rustica but bloody worth the mention and recommended gift to South American curanderos Indian is "Thrice Brewed" new tradition, but very good tradition. Rumour has it the Sir Walter personally supervises the blends and is a true brother in tobacco - fussy we are, but racist we not. Sozz about the real shit format above - no dis here K. and N. - please understand I'm not good with the use of the tools here and Windows 10 - what happened to when you could author offline? I'll get Donkey Wang to reformat when he's not busy to proper respect Katu and Nibanna. Keep up there good folk! P's Dog (Pat Uri insists if we use his computer we acknowledge who we are as courtesy to mods. He apologises for all his past forum mistakes getting into trouble with the mods as a newbie he didn't understand forum rules, has different old school culture:- once he gets too many readers he gets "shame" and censorship confuses and "shames" him. Really he is one of the funniest, gifted, multi talented, yet furious and terrifying person that exists!) OK and bye.

No,

12th of October - COLUMBUS DAY. Today is the official birthday of tobacco, oh and that land mass where the "a merkins" (Americans) come from. You know that lot that speak and spell English funny, with Spanish as their national language. Some celebrate it - others point out it began an invasion and genocide of many important indigenous cultures, hundreds, without trace. It is an inconvenient truth to point out kumura sweet potato, native to south America, is found on Pacific islands all the way to New Zealand - which is a long way to float in salty water for a tuber. Scandinavians have found an old Viking horn stuffed with a tobacco variety. Chinese have an ancient variety of tobacco that their records say came from a foreign land well over the seas. Egyptian mummies have been found with traces of cocaine (and nicotine) when coca is only found in South America. Ancient Arabic texts describe the route to Americas and claim to have obtained treasures there. History ("his""story") books insist European Columbus re"discovered" the Americas in 1492. Not the Egyptians , or the Vikings, or the Polynesians, or the Arabs (Christian God forbid!) - and certainly not the Chinese! The Arawak Indians presented Columbus with the most precious gift they had the holy dried leaves of a particular odour they obviously prized - tobacco. He thought it rubbish, but noticed their gold ornaments...He wanted gold, not diplomacy. He kidnapped a few Indians and refused to release them until they told him the source of the gold. But soon the European Royal Families would learn how to turn the golden leaves into gold, lots and lots of it. Columbus spied and figured he could conquer the lot of them with "fifty steel clad and fire armed soldiers", seize their gold and put them into slavery. The fate of the American aboriginals was sealed and they were doomed, as were the lungs of the future. So pretty all the accumulated wisdom of tobacco, and many other things, was lost to ignorance. Their cultures weren't recorded as contact was made by violent, murderous marauders, profit hungry gold fevered thieves, and Christian religious zealots - their activities would make ISIS look modest. They made better terrorists than anthropologists and even worse botanists. There was absolutely no interest in indigenous culture except to irradicate it. To study their records would be to research Judaism using Nazi literature, not credible. What few bias observations they made to give us clues about traditional tobacco use are completely confused by the fact natives chewed Nicotiana AND Erythroxylun, Acorus, Salvia, Lophophorus, etc. and snuffed Nicotiana AND Erythroxylun, Anadenanthera, Virola, etc. in all combinations. The very word "tobacco" is wrong - that actually the name the Arawak gave to the tube they snuff cohoba with in their temples praying to the Taino cohoba spirit in a religion they supposedly didn't have - they were filthy bare arsed heathen savages - the Arawak prized peace as the greatest virtue. There were hundreds of names for different Nicotiana, preparations and uses that varied from tribe to tribe and they traded their ware far and wide. This and so many other ethnobotanicals we can only imagine now. So, so much wisdom. So party on today America - for how far you have come, but spare a thought for how much you, and the rest of us, really lost forever. Try not to keep doing it. Respect! Phaemon's Dog.

YEAH - Underneath my​ post...P​'s Dog

Phaemon's Dog here - Hell yeah! - All my knowledge is that slivers of the wood polished make outstanding jewellery pendants and until this decade no-one outside Americas had even heard of it! Or could even confirm it was real. Oh, and it's known as the yage' of thunder. Friends in High places recommend its use by only the most experienced shaman in the solitary work of brujero ​where they will enter the spirit underworld to cast spells, break the spells cast by others and conform phantoms...scary! Visions of this world are said to be tinted green. The other three yage' are used for healing, vision quests and ceremonies. Now that I've got a little research done I begin to see the extent of the conflicting accounts! There is a lot of rivalry getting about the information isn't there. This is definitely something I will bring to Pat Uri's attention - he got some influence in South A​merica with the tobacco scene, genetic analysis labs, etc. and might get some straight answers! I'll swap you:- 1) its weight in gold; + 2) Pat Uri's password; +3) equivalent quantity in B.caapi seed; and +4) I'll even throw in photos of EtherealDrifter's pussy! Accept my offer or I'll post bomb you with a whole album of photos of EtherealDrifter's pussy! First, suckers!!! P's Dog.

Come now Darklight - there must be some old, black fellas your way you can have sexual fantasies over? It doesn't just have to be old man Pat. By the way - Pat Uri likes Cohiba Nicaragua in the modern stuff or Gurkha. Donkey Wang's total knowledge of cigars could be written on one side of a cigarette paper with a crayon - R&J cigars are spelt Romeo y Julieta. Seems I've been missing a very, very important point about all traditional tobacco - crucial to all nicotine sources. Nicotine accumulation is very rare in all wild species, usually it is there in traces and nornicotine is the major alkaloid. Nicotine is a secondary alkaloid converted to the more toxic nornicotine and anabasine. The gene for the conversion is either silenced or absent in plants that have been artificially selected for cultivation - it is a recessive condition. When this mutation occurs the plant is less likely to fight off insect attacks and doesn't survive with competition of the convertors. Taking seeds from the wild will almost always be from the dominant convertor condition stock. Human experimentation selected the nicotine accumulators and kept that strain going. Not just Nicotiana but Duboisia and Petunia as well. There's a pituri song about tasting every Dubosia along the trail until one with the nicotine taste was found and that one was gathered. Some old fellas reckon they can spot it by its aura - good for them! - probably the amount of insect damage is a clue too. With the genocides came the loss of most of the original Australian and American Indigenous strains. They might be found again, but not without the thousands of years of selective breeding the ancestors put into development. Fortunately mapacho was kept going by the uncontacted Americans. Hundred year old specimens of pituri show 8% nicotine, not found in common modern populations...that is by most researchers... Even tabacum if not properly bred can back breed to convertor stock, with little nicotine, but plenty of nornicotine. You can tell because the leaves cure red in colour. Sozz I forgot to mention this point. Oh, and Africa has one very rare species of Nicotiana too. OK and catch you all later. P's Dog.

Nee How! From 号汪驴 Ghost Doctor to Master Pat Uri. You most certainly can order into Australia - and Customs are only capable of seizing one in five tobacco imports (as all Dark Webbers know too well). If you place two orders one will get in and you can abandon the other to customs - the one that gets in offsets the extortionate and exploitive import duty they charge. Talking about these extortionate rates and exploitation:- Kutakina's product is not a rape' ("rah - peh" otherwise you may terrify someone ordering a "rape") which is the coarsest grade of snuff - from the French "rasped" tobacco. "Mapacho at Katukina" 'handmade' 'by enchanted Amazonian pygmies at AUD$19.14 for 12g???' Ha! They must think we are on drugs! It looks exactly like Toque Snuff's product "Rustica" which is available in "coarse" and "fine", and "whiskey and honey" scent too, and 50g economy bag will cost an Australian (looking at Master Pat Uri's 2015-2016 shipping manifest) with delivery included, AUD$19.77 total at present exchange rate. Their service is second to none and the Master has had 3 orders delivered in 10 days to remotest C Q this year. All of these orders cleared Customs without duty or delay - when you see how they package it you will know why. Not made by vibsy jungle shaman, but a ruddy great factory by Irishmen - but same stuff. Save you lots, but has cost Katukina's cred. Regards. Spelt 号汪驴 pronounced "Donkey Wang"

Nee How! Many thanks for above: by reproducing Phaemon'sDog post it is forever frozen for him to edit out his terrible spelling and grammar. No excuse with spellcheck! Ha! This thread has been printed and hardcopy wrapped around Master Pat Uri's Iced VoVo biscuits in last week's food basket to his meditation cave in farC Q - that is not swearing - where he resides for now. It would be wrong to disturb his sequestration as he contemplates higher spiritual matters - and WiFi in mountain cave is pretty shit anyway. I, fake Doctor Zhong Ki Wang advise that tobacco curing information must not be used by readers in Australia which has world's strictest anti-tobacco laws profitable and plenty more foot to shoot itself through! Master Pat Uri, uses a more colourful expression past posts to describe 'this Government's oversized organs causing instability, resulting in criminal, even obscene, penetration'. His exact words are not medically comprehensible or anatomically possible to my limited English background, but may still be there in a previous post, moderators permitting. Allow me to update with legal changes since last time Master Pat Uri used this expression (that still all seem to protect commercial interest monopolies, tax collection and nothing to do with consumer health and wellbeing):- - Not even Master Pat Uri can say with confidence if nicotine is actually really legal, illegal, tolerated, unenforceable, etc. Great Rock of Canberra -and mossy it is too- says in "ink-on-paper" legislation that nicotine possession is illegal. Certainly police arrest people sucking on e-cigarettes of freebased nicotine - the most addictive form of the alkaloid. Yet children can buy much laden chewing gum and other confectionary off shelves of Multi-international Supermarket Chains as they can afford. Legally children can still smoke too, law only stops them buying tobacco. - Living tobacco plants and seeds are banned, but authorities can not be bothered to destroy feral. Property owners can't remove it for transport without authority and bale plate labels, cutting or poisoning the weed plants is illegal too. (see down) - ATO have finally "defined" two ancestor diploid and one polymorphic tetraploid spp. as the tobacco of commerce...so time travellers beware of bringing these into the present (Master Pat Uri has suggested maybe ATO "googled" for their research.) - Unlicensed possession - what licenses? - of manufactured tobacco or to manufacture tobacco is illegal. ATO defines "manufactured" when leaf is cut ("ragged", "shredded", "stripped", "shagged", "ribboned" in tobacconist speak) and so, by extension, cultivated, harvested, culled, mowed or ripped from the ground to destroy it. It is "manufactured" if any chemical substance is applied to the leaf (molasses, mu'assel, glycerol, sorbitol, honey, xylitol, liquorice, acetophenone, etc. in tobacconist speak) and by extension, sulphuric acid, glycophos, 2,4D, any other herbicide to destroy it. In theory, colour cured, unstripped leaf hanging is not manufactured and such exempt. Truly last years Master Pat Uri has flown between Australian states for FIFO jobs ("kidnapped") with kilogram "hands" of folded leaf ("ransom") in his luggage. When luggage scanned airport customs and security officers concluded "it was some sort of vegetable" and freely allowed passage. In tradition colour cure leaf is not much cut anyway - he and his Elder other tribes ("enemies") mates treat these like rare stamps or money notes - trading, swapping, admiring, stretching, folding, fingering them for their beauty, odour, rarity, colour and perfection, and valuing them in an exchange rate known to them - years can pass before such are ever consumed, and more fondled meantime the better. Seems this is one of few botanicals that withstands, improves, with such intimate human contact. Sacred fire wood ash may be added before ceremonial ingestion - Elders may be particular what ash, but potash is potash I think. Burnt shell ash too, but this can be severely caustic, you must learn air slaking, and it tastes crap. Snuff made from stalk (petiole, mid vein) should be exempt as ATO define leaf lamina only. - International travellers may only carry <50g of foreign tobacco (or 20 cigarettes, or 2 cigars) into Australia - much to amazement of all foreign and duty free tobacconists in the world who may not carry such tiny amounts for sale. Many visitors are harassed into abandoning their carry on as that is easier for Customs than explaining laws properly, honestly, accountably, transparently and in their language... Meanwhile illegal tobacco is smuggled into Australia by the 30t, 20' shipping container load (see below) - that is the real problem. - On ATO's behalf Customs and Border Protection withhold ANY amount of tobacco-containing-material ordered online for import into Australia until <$700/kg+gst+handling import duty is paid. This is regardless of packaging, or actual amount of nicotine or tobacco present, they weigh all whole parcel to calculate excise. American chewing tobacco might only be 30% tobacco but an $8 item will cost +$200 duty. Halal "washed" moassel for shisha averages ~5% tobacco and never exceeds 0.2% nicotine but a $12 item will attract +$150 duty. Visitor guests from Near East have been so harassed by entry officials they abandoned their few grams of 'dhoka' fearing violation of import law (they are naturally law abiding by virtue) - Australian Customs and Border Security never bothered to explain to them plainly they were quite within their rights to keep Arabic tobacco.) Delighting in his practised trading art, Master Pat Uri organises online oversea tobacco buys to be delivered in grams' intricately purchased, by:- suspended; part; FOP, FAC, COP, FAD, COD, COCC, FOT underwritten shipping terms; back; cancelled; and etc. orders, with onshore clearing terms, and then suspending, abandoning or waiting until last moment of demurrage, etc. to pay duty, in depreciated $AUD - and if Customs make one mistake, he instructs writ to sue with litigation. A time consuming, nightmarish, logistical, bureaucratic chaos for minimally paid Custom's young warehousing staff over a few dollars of tax revenue! ("Breath with me, come play my game, I'll test ya!" he sings.) This, while Master Pat Uri has himself a good, fat black belly laugh in a remotest Queensland property, tending his $multimillion mixed 'crops' and feeding excess imported cigars to his homicidal pet bulls for their tummy upsets from a 20' refrig container humidor stocked up over 40 years! (continued on, after side note.) [side note. NB - note well, dear readers - A very serious point to this, Master Pat Uri's "in house" jokes to this, his favoured plat-forum, aside:- presently Border Security seized-imposed-import-duty applies only to online tobacco, but Federal Politicians plot, as you read this, to impose +$17% on ALL your online oversea purchases regardless of if items not available in Australia: Feds pretence local market protection! Ha! All reminiscent of their Federal "Corrupt Rum Corps" status past, profiting from guarding their little Island Gaol, import control and fleecing both man and mutton. (Beware! Australia:- be very aware.) Perhaps Feds would have implemented it already except the $AUD is so weak the only drugs worth smuggling in are cigarettes! "Boston" Tea Party, anyone?] Side note ends. (Continued, from above.) Master Pat Uri builds a case proving Customs and Border Protection has not the infrastructure to deal with one man and his personal quantities of imported tobacco presently - how will they cope with an entire Nation's online import trading market? He hopes this will stall their money-grabbing plots and pursues it quietly, behind the scenes, "'Majority' of the One"- and regardless of how many tax free boxes of foreign cigars Feds offer him from their International Diplomatic Immune pouches to shut-up. Imposed tobacco Import Duty means every piece of local feral "sheep dip" tobacco rubbish from the compost heap is now worth ~$600/kg. So alcoholic, porn-crazed, sex worker hiring, gambling addicted, anti-drug bigot and all so legally sanctified registered voter "Greasy"Pete Phaemon - Clan Uri neighbour/unpaying tenant - has - in Master Pat Uri's words - "been busier than a three balled tomcat on Viagra!" lately. On a positive note now it affords his runaway, estranged 'dog' to get regular food and live in Brisbane city apartment house, from which I post. ["Damn straight! I do - folks! I even got 3 toilets now! - kicking it up large style loud with all da resident ready, party hearty Brissy bitches and dawgs non-stop banging- Yee!Ha!"...:- "P'sDog"] Mod Squad may confirm mirror ip. and remind P's Dog of enormous list of chores yet to perform in farC Q for Master Pat Uri. However, on Phaemon and his dog's behalf, many thanks ATO and Federal "Gubba Men" (dialect - I think - for "government") for this enriching law and their party donation cheque is in the mail. - Plain labelling of all 'commercial tobacco products' i.e. "smokes", is now mandatory - vendors may not promote or acknowledge their wares for advertisement - legally enforced under-the-counter trading, that strangely contradicts the first requirement of the law of contracts, i.e. open, public advertisement. (Master Pat Uri has claimed they're called 'tobacco products' because there is more genuine tobacco between his teeth than there is in a commercial cigarette.) This political stunt has been a God send to counterfeiters, who have no longer to replicate patented packaging, and leave no way that the end consumer can tell product is genuine. When consumer complained occasional plain packaged item tastes different, blander, than previous original genuine packet, authorities laughed in their faces to say:- that is the psychological effect of drab olive packet; the confronting images; lack of point of sale advertising; erosion of self esteem; social outcasting; impoverishment; etc. the product knowing, tax paying cigarette addict must now endure...While Government hope to collect >$20 for every packet sold presently. (I continue after pertinent side note that follows.) [side note:- Australian Feds made a great mutual backslapping and song-and-dance act over their brilliant idea to plain label, when they stole the idea lock, stock and barrel from Canada and knew it was coming anyway. International tobacco companies made a show of protest to compliment - it's an "Eton debate" game they have been playing for centuries having resources to do so - and reduce their liability, for what other product can you sell knowing it causes cancer in exactly the way it is meant to be used? yet, avoid compensating victims. For last fifty years annual tax revenue from tobacco sales is more than Federal Government spends on Education, Health, and anti-tobacco programs like Quit, combined. Over last twenty years as smoker numbers halved, but tax more than quadrupled to rebalance loss in revenue and shortfall. Governments, since James 1st, have long learnt how to collect the golden eggs of the golden tobacco, rather than kill the goose that lays them. At over $20 per unit, do you honestly think they really want to extinguish the habit? or allow TSNA carcinogen reduced smokeless alternatives, like snus, snuff, e- cigarettes, etc. from commercial sale?] Side note ends. (Continued from above) Only when lost revenue was realized Government admitted >12%, and growing, Australian 'smokes' are counterfeit and "chop-chop" is rarely ever local, but of /OBSCURED ON LEGAL ADVICE/ origin, 'criminal' (that is, not Government approved) syndicates bypassing, in house, manufacturer's brand specific "chemical" adding and therefore ATO. This is why "chop-chop" mostly appears as professionally flue cured, cut, blended, DNA exact, identical to oversea grown commercial feedstocks - so untraceable - yet lacks genuine burning characteristics and flavour, it is same but incompletely unmanufactured. Australian public persecution of legendary, non-existent local growers is "kill chicken, scare monkey" for media spread claptrap. No commercial tobacco production in Australia, for decades. Police prosecution of retailers the only mandate possessed in well orchestrated global, yet in house, conspiracy. Plus makes newspapers big headlines for next to "Dope Fiend beats Senior to Death for Codral" or "Miley Cyrus wears bikini! Pictures inside". Ooo! Ahh! Me buy, me read! Premium, quality real tobacco can barely be bought in Australia - nothing beyond mid-strength available. Long established, world renown, famous tobacconists refuse to comply with trivial law and repackage into ugly, substandard, plain packaging. They are too proud to supply their tobacco in anything less than traditional, world recognised, high quality formats of gold gilt banding, Spanish Cedar boxes, lithographed labels, pressed and water marked DOM auditor, inspection stamps, appreciating investment etc. reflecting the quality assurance of their luxurious offerings and distinguish from any pretender - and there are many. If they lose the tiny Australian market - so what? Their patented, time honoured labelling is not - in spite of Federal ignorant "peasant" thinking - a "cheap" sales gimmick. Nat Sherman asks if Australian Government would be proud for Treasury to use photocopies for $AUD banknotes:- after that's all they are worth, presently. (Au.Fed.Gov. politicians can reply to him personally about this comment, care of the American mafia - with full name and correct residential address, please, as he'll send personal representatives to sort out your concerns. Capeesh?) To buy real tobacco in Australia you must visit what few tobacconists still exist, on paltry profit margins and overworked repackaging for Government compliance, knowing exactly what you want - no browsing allowed. Expect to see a couple of plain clothed ATO detectives outside, "clocking" your face, purchase, license plates etc. and then racing into the shop behind you to make sure not so much as a cigar cutter was left in sight...as if you were buying Sudafed or something... (Master Pat Uri has a very funny, true story about travelling 800km to select some cigars on the very day of plain labelling. It is about a select cigar that was hidden from public display and a lovely nude Valley stripper that was not so hidden from public display:- we shall omit for now.) - Low TSNA and carcinogen removed smokeless tobaccos are still banned from commercial supply in Australia, in spite of medical evidence, but legends of oral cancer persist. Cancer has been attributed to use of dark, aged, firecured American moist snuff "chew" - a few cases - but all cases also smoked cigarettes and cigars. Poschl studies find snuff less carcinogenic than hardwood dust. Swedish snus must be freed of carcinogen before it is sold - there it is illegal to sell anything proven to cause cancer, cannabis is a notably not banned, only smoking tobacco. Other ongoing studies have shown snuff users have a lower incidence of contracting colds, rhinovirus infection and influenza - the studies are not concluded yet. Pity as snuff, snus and chew are closest to traditional use, by which American and Australian Aboriginal people have used it for millennia. These people have never been consulted on the matter or invited to discussion - the laws just been imposed on them. Master Pat Uri is actually one of the greatest advocates of anti-smoking and thinks seeing a so-called shaman smoking tailor made cigarettes habitually incredible and without taste. He shares, with other shaman curanderos, eg. camalongueros, notion that cancer is physical manifestation of a bad "astral" parasitic "elemental" "spirit" attached to human "aura" and preying, perverting or poisoning the personal "subtle energy field" by which DNA/RNA are activated and guided for cell repair and cell replacement, and how the immune system "updates" its recognition of damaged cells and pathogens in an ever changing environment. To blame it on one herb or another a gross over simplification. Esoteric ideas, to be sure. - We must conclude on something positive from present Australian situation and here it is:- Over taxed cigarettes means that a genuine real cigar is just as affordable and closer to tradition. Romeo et Juiletta (R&J) if you are a light smoker, White Owl if you are a nicotine head, Bolivar if your taste is somewhat jaded by cigarette use, do not have to be smoked. Place the butt in your cheek and let the nicotine permeate, allaying the need to smoke. When not in use, put it back, toe first, into the cigar tube it was supplied in. Eventually the soggy end will have to the bitten off. This morsel, mixed with a little bicarbonate of soda, or ash, to freebase will have the flavour return and you can continue to "chew". Really "chew" is a bite/squeeze and back into the cheek, you don't eat it. When absolutely flavourless, spit it somewhere to dry it out and keep it. Master Pat Uri has instruction on how to make such "washed" tobacco into shisha to sell to "Greasy"Pete. For meditation, you are going to light the remaining cigar for a few puffs of incense - I know you will. If you can't make a fire with fire sticks, use the sun's rays with a magnifying glass. Cigarette lighters aren't traditional - sacred fire is handmade. Extinguish cigar by putting it back in the tube and capping. Carbon monoxide will extinguish it, and until it does the remaining heat in the tube makes a fine moxa stick for stimulating acupuncture points. Now in tube ash from the head will mix with the soggy toe alleviating the need for freebasing further. Just take it out and continue in this way. The head will always stay capable of relighting. In this way, the cigar will last days, even a week. Keep the cigar tube as Master Pat Uri has instruction on how to make them into a handy, pocket herb vaporiser. Legal even in Australia. And so I end here and bow to you good forum people, may you pursue the Noble Path of wisdom with High blessings. Xian-Qi Wang - Ghost Doctor - for Master Pat Uri. ​

Hello forum P'sDog here with words-of-wisdom from cranky old Pat Uri. Seriously since he's given up the pot he's been a misery. If there was ever a case to legalise it, he'd be it. The Old Man has put up and build off some bad business over last years with Cyclone Larry and Marcia, but 'Sasha' moving on, has really knocked him. That's what happens when you're old but He will be back. Anyway nice to meet you Anodyne - 'fraid new chum there ain't much "traditional" about smoking baccy and less about Nicotiana tabacum, it hasn't been around long enough. See -What do you mean by "traditional"? 50 years? 100years? 200? 300? 400? 500? A millinia? Prehistoric? Dreamtime? Seriously tobacco hasn't been around that long. There's about eighty species in Genus Nicotiana growing wild since prehistory in Australia and America, and only one species isn't found in the wild, and that's N.tabacum. Seems it's an allotetraploid virilised hybrid of diploid mother N.sylvestris and diploid father N.tomentosiformis, with a possible intermediate bit-on-the-side with N.otophora (I just know what Elder Pat Uri taught me) These wild ancestors occur in Bolivia, but not together. How it hybridised, let alone polypoided is anyone's guess - about as strange as how B.caapi and P.viridis got together. N.tabacum marks human civilisation:- highland Mayans Tzeltal and Tzotzil of Mexico threw good seed along trails and "where the spirit is strong it will grow" and looked for the pinkest flowers, to mash green leaves with lime for snuff and kept in a special mini gourd. They called it Sayri meaning "nine times beaten" and considered it the "Male". The "Female" was N.rustica Mapacho that they traded for, widely enough for the highest grade to be found in Trinidad by John Rolfe, of Pocohontas fame. But those Carib people are pretty much extinct. Maybe the Spanish were in on crossbreeding, who knows. "Smoking" comes from a near universal story about how the Great Spirit Holy Father Most High was so busy with creation that he forgot to pack his baccy and now he was up in the sky couldn't do much about it. So he said to the lesser spirit angels he'd get man to sacrifice tobacco to him by smoking it for the spirits to eat and they would listen to the prayers of man. The clouds would see the smoke and tell the sky spirits. Then there was the White Buffalo Woman that went like this:- two cousins from different tribes met up after years apart as young braves on a vision quest. As much as they loved eachother, there were too many cultural differences and rivalry would set in and they'd end up arguing and fighting. They hated it, but they couldn't help themselves bickering. So they continued on in sulky silence, until they saw through a heat haze what appeared to be a white buffalo standing on a white clay lens hill. As they approached the aparition changed into a tall statuesque woman dressed in pure white buckskin. Then back into a buffalo and then back into a woman in a white outfit and decked with ropes of shining, white wumpam. They decided it was a woman. One said, "Such a wonderful woman! I shall steal her and make her my wife!". The other said, "No. See her fine clothes? She must be very important to her people, I will pay her my respect." Finally at her feet they both realised she was an angel. She looked at them and said, "One of you has a hard heart and the other has a tender heart - but I will not tell you which is which. Instead I will teach you how to keep your hearts and still keep council together." She gathered up some white clay, fashioned a smoking pipe bowl and showed them how to make a calumet, or peacepipe. Then she taught them to smoke and the rules of diplomacy and statesmanship for all Nations to obey. In one variation or another this too is a universal story. The site itself is in the Great and Respect worthy Lakota People's country and they allowed access to it for all tribes to send pilgrims to gather some clay for sacred pipes. Quite a few native species were used for the smoking rituals, mixed with other herbs, like lobelia and deer's tongue. Prime leaves were for trade and passed around and looked at for years before use. Lesser stuff was for chew and snuff, to clean wounds, repel parasites, prevent food spoilage, purge medicine, sacrificed to a tree spirit for use of its wood, thrown to a river spirit for successful crossing, etc. Often kept hanging - aircuring - on display in smokey dwellings they became somewhat firecured, stretched out, folded, massaged and admired greasy fingers "sauced" them as well as packing them in smoke tanned leather bags and medicine pouches. They were above all trading currency and spiritual currency, passed on to the clan for a lot of time. Annually keeping the flower tops and "suckers" (lateral and adventurous shoots) to maximise set leaf growth and store next years seed, the seed separated, what was left - buds etc. - dried light bodied and brown and was massaged with a little animal fat, precursor of modern glycerol, then packed into green hide bags that would shrink near the fire compressing the material. They appreciated the mellow, woody, sometimes resiny flavour of the smoke. Mostly N.sylvestris here - the woodland sweet tobacco. Another traditional technique well worth mention comes from the Chickasaw people. They would chop down a sassafras tree - yes, that sassafras! - and drill a vertical hole in the stump with a quartz crystal drill bit and bow saw to make a "barrel". Then whittle a stick as a tight fitting piston mated to this barrel. Well fertilized N.tomentos and .longiflora plants topped early at about eight big lug leaves were primed, picked and sauced in sweet berry mash, before rolling tightly into a "stick" and packed in the stump "barrel". The piston was pushed in and heavy pressure applied with a class 2 lever arrangement and heavy rock weight. At least a year, usually several, later the tobacco "stick" was withdrawn having compressed and fermented in its own juices, and dried into a highly sort after black tobacco the Acadian traders called Perique - because it looked and smelt like a "buhda" in our dialect. Good smoke that too - you find it in "Three Nuns". Gee! Folk. I think that's enough for now, I want to go have some lunch. Next time, I tell you a bit about what happened next, with the white fellas and the black fellas baccy. OK. P's Dog signing off. For Pat Uri and old mate Donkey Wang.

From Clan Uri - Pat still remembers the good times @Incognito and is so ancient that he has long forgotten what sins a man can commit against other people. "Forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us". Blessings! Walk in joy, Forever. The pain is short, but Life is eternal. from Big, Black Pat uri and the Scabies Clan.

Nee How! This is Dr DonQui Wang - glove puppet of Phaemon's Dog (who is virtual sexslave of Pat Uri). Mr Uri is very well but is in "sorry time" - he comments that when you get to his age you spend more time burying friends than you do making more. Certainly he would like here to pray for all departed souls; especially the Great Dr A T Shulgin, and Matthew Dawson-Clarke. (Condolences to all family members) It is reported that Matthew died from a badly conducted ayahuasca ceremony - but this is not the complete truth - he died from nicotine poisoning, having been administered the mapacho in a poor setting prior to his tragic demise. Even as Mr Uri maintains ceremonially silence, in respect for posting "secrets" previously, he looks forward to the time when he will write to you, good forum people, again. I am merely his "long distance mirror" to obscure him. The subject of how tobacco is cured cheered him up considerably - but he warns, with respect to Matthew, it is not to be taken lightly. GTS - Green Tobacco Syndrome - or nicotine poisoning is a real threat, and only truly knowledgeable shaman are trained in the antidotes. How to cure tobacco? "How to make really good rabbit stew:- first, catch a good rabbit." Assuming that you have grown good tobacco from appropriate stock, have fertilized and picked each leaf at the correct stage for its type, it is allowed to colour cure. In the correct humidity and light conditions, each leaf, still alive at the cellular level, will undergo enzymatic autolysis - complex carbohydrates, such as starch, sucrose, pectin and hemicellulose, will become simpler, proteins breakdown to amino acids, chlorophyll pigments degrade revealing carotenes and xanthophylls and these will decompose further to polyphenols and carbonyls. For this chemistry to occur, the leaf must retain some water and oxygen or the enzymes will be destroyed, curing will halt and these higher organic molecules will remain fuel for bacteria - most undesirable! The leaf will attain the correct level of "yellowness" where there not enough higher chemicals to feed mould, but still enough to develop the later aroma. Now the leaf can dehydrate to 10% moisture where it is suitable for sorting:- it is colour cured. Suitable for transport - but odourless, flavourless, still most unsuitable for smoking. If you want to chew it - that is fine - but unless you have grown it chlorine free, it will never burn. Kept like this there is very little carcinogen. Mr Pat advises me he and the wonderful people of Imperial recognise over 1200 officially named and patented pedigree of smoking tobacco - with many, many hybrids - and not one is available to the public. Each has its own "curing" type e.g. common brightleaf strains are flue cured quickly then artificially flavoured for cheap Government taxed cigarettes, or they are pulped to paper and then this reconstituted tobacco sheet shredded, flavoured and turned to cigarettes, carcinogens and all. Others can be air cured, pit cured, fire cured, sun cured, bulk cured or flue cured, with intermediate rehydration and fermentation stages, each leaf sorted based on its colour and perfume and all over labour intensive years...Perhaps if you knew what of tobacco you wanted to refine his assistance would be invaluable. Tragically the art of fine tobacco is a guarded secret - and in a paragraph or two impossible to explain. Colour cure it carefully and hang it (air cure) until it smells nice - this may take years - as the nasty alkaloids evaporate leaving the nicotine, the pectins disintegrate revealing the perfume, etc. There are ways to fast track it - wet immersion of cut leaf in sucrose solution - use of ripening apples to produce ethylene - etc. But it is an art as much as a science. Cannabis is much easier. - Remember - burning tobacco to smoke gives you lung cancer - chewing fresh colour cured - NOT aged fire cured e.g. USA snuff - will never hurt you. (Otherwise stick to smoking the 'erb) - Pat Uri blesses you all and Jeh bless too! Respect Y'All! Dr DonQui Wang...(with Phaemon's Dog, Pat Uri and other famous people with scabies)

Oh dear folk - how lovely to say hello again and bring you songs, and secrets, and schemes! For I have been kidnapped by hostile tribes, upon whom I spied, until liberated by my warriors, for enormous ransom - as such I am worth! Whilst forced into their custody, and celebrating with them the capture of such as prize, as myself, the hostile tribes of the Crocodile's became drunk upon my magic and hypnotised by my singing and did not notice how I excited their young women... (Reader's Discretion:- Text Edited - In short he craps on for half-an-hour about seducing 50 odd members of an 'enemy' tribes - not likely! - tee!hee!hee! Phaemon's Dog) Anyways when I was little I was taken up these mountains, where the Local Elders would make "tea" by making a little fire to heat stones and dropping these stones into a "coolibah" bark dish of water and this one, that They called "Mountain Sage". - How they know this one called sage? Yet they knew it as "sage" - the wise one. It was taught to me as "sage" - the special mountain sage - at a time I had heard of no other 'sage" It is strange that it is named Pityrodia salviifolia - but it rather hits the "nail on the head". More soon' Your mate' Pat Uri

This Queer Queensland situation - as enforceable as taxi's carrying bales of hay, at all times - is due to the fact we don't have a Legislative Council so our laws don't have to make any practical sense...I wonder if urine samples that are positive for drugs become the drug itself too? Well I might have taken them seriously if they knew which orifice of the horse they are getting their information from. I know many people who have mescaline containing cactii on their property right now:- if you wanna come and bust them. If not - just make yourself look like ridiculous buffoons (bufo = "toad" as in puffed up, ineffectual threat) Many thanks Mr T for trying to make them see reason (like the rest of the world);