Got to share this .... please help how should I deal with this?

[sagiXsagi]

 

I am one of those luck guys I have friends from my childhood. 

so there's this dude with which we share everything, a broother - friend 

we discussed philosophy and all ... so.... years pass... 

we had some problems and quarrels the last years so we were not so close and actually the last 2 years we didnt really speak at all... 

this is not really a shock to me as I am a blunt and honest motherfucker, that sometimes doesnt know to shut up and just listen... sometimes I am the dick that says too much, and yeah I have been a dick in confrontation, especially when drunk.. I am such a good rhetor, my dad was right to be sorry I didnt not become a lawyer.. I would be fucking perfect for I got the sklils, but I would not suit the fucken role - that's what he did not count.. 

 

so this a very close friend who doesnt live in the hometown, with whom we had not spoken for a while, and I would like to contact again but it was up to him, so he send an email and he is being nice and all, recommending a film, so all in all after couple days, he says I am coming... 

 

so this is where it begins ... 

 

I call him and after a couple of telephone problems I get him, invite him over. he comes. he is extremely agitated and I am almost scared, propably remembering a bad 2016 experience that happened to me, when I was assaulted...  he is being super enigmatic, and ultimately implying there is something wrong with his health... I am freaking out as I am thinking he got diagnosed with cancer and all- it turns up he had carshed his car and got hit in the back and nerves, and he starta telling be some shit, to which I reply I a conventional way I would, a cynic a friend, seeing how he was unsatisfied, ultimately, and had tried some stuff, to maybe got to a doctor who would prescribe an SSRI   and some nice therapy works.. I remember I talked a bit and around that point he left suddenly... 

 

I was left worried, thinking there's something he hadn't tell me ...  couple hours afterwards he call again or his mother, and it doesnt really matter at this point because this is where it really starts for me and we are all worried well I am super worried.. I am going over there and he is - I am not doctor and I have been through a couple unpleasant bad trips in my time - in a manic situation.. he seems to be having a psychotic break, he is not violent but extremely agitated, not thinking clearly and making far fetched claims 

 

this dude used be extremly rational and mathematically inclined individual, and he is a professor with a Dr.  actually this is one of the reason for our fall and a long lasting quarrel , as I got into natal astrology and he refused to listen to me - or thats how I took it ....  but "fate" and a girlfriend seem to eventually turn him and he got to accepting all kinds of stuffs, in a nice way it seemed ... 

 

anywayzz... ack to the episode - I am talking doctors, because he reveals he had the accident with the car that same day , and am trying to link the obviously psychotic symptoms with hit or something.. to make a long story and pretty horrific, psychologically for me to see my friend eventually being taken over by "something" .... 

we went through the night together, I  thankfully had a propably outdated Seroquel XR , and eventually he slept for some 5 hours... 

 

I didnt know what I was supposed to do.. I didnt reject his claims and arguements, and I tried to be trusting in what he said, but I also tried to point out that what he said was not sounding lots of rational, and eventually told him that what he was having was similar if not identical to psychotic symptoms, in which he agreed. 

 

he has a problem with sleeping and he didnt seem to remember when he had slept last time... his hype seems to have lasted at least several days to 10 days, noone know at this point

 

so he go over to his place, eat up a bit, and he goes to sleep again...  when I return, he is alright, we talk with his brother as well, and he admits that what he was saying was irrational...  we  talk a bit more, we caress and huddle and I leave to let him sleep....  

 

after that I havent talked to him and its been some days... his mom hasnt called so I have to supposed he doesnt want me.... 

 

could the reaching out to me be a part of the episode and the coming out of it be him snapping out of it?  remember we hadn't  talked about any of our news, until the last meeting before he slept, when I told him a bit about my 2016 adventures... 

 

anyways... the mobile is off, no friend seems to have talked a lot and I am kind of afraid to ask too much 

 

Did I do something wrong? I mean not to my friend, but as a reaction to his episode? was I too mental? I did listen to him! I did try to understand his point about lots of wacky stuff.... 

 

So, should I leave him alone??  could he be ashamed??  I am thinking all these days that he doesn't want to get along with me because I was telling about a doctor when he was in hype... 

 

did he get to his senses and doesnt like to hang up with me any more like it was before??  he did thank me lots of times and give me a thing of his I was liking .... 

 

I think I should have already have gone to him, to his house, but I thought he might not want me... 

 

its very strange because when he snapped out of it, he was ok, when I last saw him and said about meeting friends and all, and eventually seeing a psychologist and not a psychiastrist . 

 

am I pussying out?? am I doing right leaving couple days time?   

 

could it be an epilepsy shock - can that last that long, several days escalating to an epiphany? 

 

I had an very strong anxitey, and when he snapped out of it, last meeting, he even told me "hey M, dont worry, dont be afraid, I am ok"   he told me not to be afraid, he knew I was afraid, and that wasnt exactly our thing anxiety but his mother told be he was ok, and in a way I was getting the feeling that I am not wanted.... when the previous day there are calls and concern and they call you to come, and then they dont, it seems, he doesnt want me, or reach out to me.... but wouldn't the mother call me to come if he was ashamed?? I am assuming he doesnt want me at all, thats whey I am afraid of going to him, as he is still here ... 

 

what should I do? 

 

 

Edited February 25, 2017 by sagiXsagi

[paradox]

hey man, it's hard to gauge the subtleties of whats going on because your english is a bit wack in this post.. 

 

if i was to offer advice though, it would be to try not to freak out, if you're concerned then try calling him or going to see him, show your support to him.  If he doesn't want to see you right now then he will probably let you know or not answer the phone.  If thats the case just try to give him space because he's obviously not in a good place, you probably shouldn't take it personally.

 

if you call him or visit him maybe don't do it when you're drunk as you say you can be a bit abrasive when you're drunk. 

 

Maybe the best thing for him would be to just know that his good friend is there if he needs you.  There may be nothing you can say or do to help him except just let him know that you care & you're there for him.  Be there to hear what he has to say without judging him, but tactfully let him know that he may be getting a bit irrational if he is going too far with his delusions.. 

 

like you said, you can sometimes not be very good at just keeping quiet & being an ear for people to talk to..  but that may be the best thing for him as when people are in fragile mental state there is usually nothing you can say that will help them..  but for them to be able to express themselves & feel as though they have some neutral support can be the best thing..  & try not to feel like you can rescue him.  Just try to be there for him if he needs you.

 

i don't know enough to offer much advice bro but if you're worried, maybe just try to call him or visit him & if he doesn't want to see you don't take it personally, just give him space & try again a bit later.  don't freak out about the situation when you're drunk & try to solve it when you're drunk.

[SayN]

just be yourself and no need to question your motives about anything IMO.  it sounds like you're trying to be supportive and offer as much understanding/assistance as your willing/able to. 

[Zedo]

I can see your problem from both view points, though I don't know the exact situation first hand. I've played the role of the rock for someone to confide in, and the opposite. Your right to question your involvement and influence to the situation, but in doing so we over analyse beyond what we know. This can be both a blessing and a curse, as can anything really. It all depends on the action you take and how well you execute that action. 

 

One thing I would recommend since your unsure if you've made it better or worse, would be to write a simple letter just saying hi etc, thanks for thinking of me in your situation, say how you were sorta unprepared to react to the situation and just let him know that he 'can' say hi and talk about things whatever they are when ever he needs to and you'll do the best you can to help where you can. 

 

Sometimes having it writen (handwriting transmits more sincerity) in front of someone gives them the space they need and they can read it over and over knowing they have that option. Whether they take it is really out of your control. 

 

But it at the end of the day you need to be happy with your decision and how you acted. And I would imagine you acted well... how you would have acted. Like CrayZ said, be yourself.