An open discussion about healthy porn use

[Alchemica]

Well, I don't know if it's the alcohol withdrawal or the diazepam disinhibiting me but I've suddenly found myself drawn back to 'adult entertainment' after many many years of complete abstinence. Originally I quit as it had too much power over me, I was unhappy with the ways women were portrayed and it was becoming an addiction. I also wasn't happy about the way I was developing a view of woman as sexual objects rather than women. I have a total lack of intimacy, emotionally and physically in my life and do have a bit of a hedonistic streak. I also don't really have any contact with women in my life as friends etc so I don't want to have a view of them that revolves around sex. I certainly don't want to fall into the void of overconsumption but if I can get my dopamine hit from some adult entertainment, I do see that as a healthier step than where I've been.in totally depriving myself from it and feel such repression was actually causing negative consequences but I'd like to know your thoughts. Here's something I wrote earlier:

What I'd like to talk about today is healthy sexuality, particularly for those who simply don't have the real experiences in their life for various reasons and for those in that situation which might not improve. This conversation is helped along by a bit of diazepam-induced disinhibition, so I'll make the most of that ;) I do see some of my substance abuse issues linked in strongly with lacking intimacy, emotionally and physically. I'd been on a mission to steer clear from all 'adult materials' for many years as I wasn't happy with the power it had over me nor the ways women were being portrayed and the uneven power dynamics etc I was exposed to in my youth but feel after so many years of avoiding it, I feel I have to reconsider and look at healthy portrayals of sexuality and an outlet rather than repression of healthy sexuality which seems to be causing a bit of neurosis and poor health. I'm hesitant to go back down the route of online materials as what I've seen hasn't been particularly healthy portrayals of love and the availability is too easy - it's far too easy to be bombarded with excessive quantities of addictive material and it's hard to not be exposed to unhealthy materials. I don't know, maybe I can continue to avoid all such things but is that a detrimental approach in the long run? Ideally, I'd prefer to have intimate relationships with women in person only, the emotional intimacy is the main aspect I crave and the sex is lower on the list but I won't lie, I do have testosterone cursing through my system... finding genuine love is probably not really a realistic goal at the moment. I don't want to fall into the void of over-use but wonder what people consider to be healthy?

...and yes, I've seriously considered paying for company but it doesn't sit that well for me, I want the emotional connection before anything sexual comes into the equation in real life and knowing they're just there for the cash is kind of a negative for me. Maybe one day that will change but I should be more optimistic that I'm actually lovable by someone without having to exchange money. Maybe once I get to a healthier position in my life and work on the self-love, things will fall into place.

I'm wondering what people here define as the healthy limits of porn use. What's a typical weekly intake? I'm particularly keen to know any women's views on such a topic

[2XB]

I'm not sure pornography is healthy at all, not that I am against it though... No matter how 'tasteful' it might be, it creates an unrealistic image of sexuality-

If it is love/intimacy you crave i think that porn will only exacerbate the situation- it is definitely healthy to masturbate, but why do you want to include porn again? I cant see continuing without it being a problem....

The sexual gratification is the same with or without the visual aid? probably more complete without now I think about it.

I personally view porn too much and believe it adds to my own sexual frustration. (daily user)

 

as for healthy limits.... if its not negatively impacting your life, or those around you, its all good yeah??

-watch your Kidney Qi ;-)

[Alchemica]

Thanks @doublebenno, yeah I think this is a medication induced bout of hypersexuality, or me temporarily losing impulse control because I've never had anything like it ramp up, even on testosterone and the likes. As for going solo, that's fine for a few years but for me it doesn't have the same level of 'intimacy', novelty and dopamine hit. I crave novelty so can rapidly amass extensive collections of things and being autistic it's a recipe for single-minded obsession. Sure it's nicely freeing going solo and takes you within but there's something about the added stimulus that adds a (false) layer of reality and a virtual woman to it. Kind of feel like my chances of finding a woman are slim, so this could be a stuff it, I'll watch them online thing. Maybe my dopamine levels are just crashing and this is a desperate attempt to prevent that by substituting one recently quit addiction for another, as tends to happen with me. I'm thinking/hoping this will fade out before I fall into the void like I did many years ago. Probably healthier I stick to facebook addictions and collecting pubmed articles Maybe the occasional voyage into porn land but maybe that should be a very infrequent thing, it has become an obsession in the past and I don't know if I have the control to keep it to healthy levels.

if its not negatively impacting your life, or those around you, its all good yeah

 

That's a good way to put it.

[waterboy 2.0]

I dunno if I can define a healthy limit for porn use. I sure as hell wouldnt use a definition used by some of the religious anti-porn prudes. What I'd consider "healthy", another might say "woah WB get ya hands off it...lol"

 

But if you get to the stage of not feeding yourself , thoughts are consumed and got the skin rubbed off your dick your in trouble...lol I agree with that  if its not negatively impacting your life, or those around you, its all good yeah??

Yeah mate *nods head*

 

There are types of porn that do potray a more realistic outlook (but it is a potrayal) rather than some of the hardcore and kink areas as well.

 

Yes the internet could draw you into a spiral of endless clicking and you'll probably end up at bisexual midget suspension fisting (maybe, I wouldnt know about that) and be sitting there are have it dawn on you like WTF am I doing.

But they are still putting out magazines and again you can pick a theme/genre and that could prevent a clicking frenzy into "well I aint ever seen that shit before" territory.

 

Its not gunna help with emotional initimacy as such, but masturbation is not unhealthy for you.

There probably is a reason why your hands can reach where they do, and Its better than drinking a heap of alcohol mate.

 

The biggest issue I see is if one is using porn to alter ones mood continually, beyond just release/climax.

Keep a resolve for moderation and you'll be fine I reckon.

 

DB has a good point above that gratification is the same with or without.

 

 

Edited July 14, 2016 by waterboy 2.0
inserts a why

[-RC-]

Fleshlight? 

[SayN]

Is there such thing as a limit?  If you've got it... tug it. 

 

As long as there is an understanding that porn online and reality are (generally) poles apart.  I guess I am concerned that many young people, males especially, are not able to make the distinction.  Perhaps young females might also get the wrong impression of sex so that too could be a worry.  I also think it can build a kind of... tolerance?  ie. sex doesn't interest you unless it's hard core. 

 

But, generally, like others said, if it's not impacting negatively on anyone, including yourself, then its all good.

 

 

[sagiXsagi]

I believe that porn is co-forming and thus changing human sexuality. 

In this way it cant be "good"  seeing how woman depicted

 

on the other hand, fantasizing is healthy and so is jerking off.. 

 

dunno, very difficult subject

 

[mysubtleascention]

 Similar to other movie genres, some actors consciously enjoy their experience of the 'stage' more than others and can share themselves better..

Experiencing a particular movie is subjective .. any pleasure is subjective