Abbott pledges over $500 million to teach immigrants Australian values

[Sallubrious]

With our deepening debt spiral and the need for us all to tighten our belts a new scheme has been announced by our illustrious leader.

Details are still sketchy at the moment, but here's how it will most likely pan out.

New Australians will be first taught the national colloquial contradiction that is essential when answering any question -

"Yeah -no "

Then they will be drilled into pronouncing "Straya" correctly.

After they can demonstrate the ability to spread the correct amount of vegemite on a piece of toast and skull a schooner of beer they will be issued with an Akubra hat and welcomed into the country.

Money well spent I'd say.

Edited May 15, 2015 by Sally

[-RC-]

Where in this whole scheme is the fucking Southern Cross mentioned?! or flannos or mullets for that matter

Edited May 16, 2015 by Responsible Choice

[FancyPants]

In theory I like the idea of a crash-course of Australian cultural (whatever that implies...) values to any arriving immigrant. I'd personally be happy to do something like that if I were to migrate (for whatever reasons that was) to another country. For example, as a young woman living in Sydney, it's unfortunately not uncommon for men of other cultures to get touchy-feely or just outright abusive verbally or physically in a bar, giving them the benefit of the doubt that they were unaware of the inappropriate nature of their advances.

How this is played out, and the fact that I heard this funding portrayed in light of anti-terrorism fills me with such shame at the fuckwits running this country that I have to shake my head.

There's a lot of Australians who say they'd love to help show immigrants the "real" Estraya as a bunch of fun-loving larrikins, but the reality is of course quite different. And I'd totally admit that I'd be too damn lazy myself to be a warm and inviting host. That; and the fact that I'm not always the most warm and inviting host to people I know and love lol. So, I'm all for equality: equally pissy at people who give me the shits no matter their clothes, colour of their skin, accents, whatever.

Let's hope the people employed to run these "courses" have a lot more compassion and patience in their hearts than I do.

[tangled]

What are australian values though?

[mauve]

What are australian values though?

Don't eat your neighbor's qat tree to death

[shortly]

What are australian values though?

The law of finders keepers and look after the rich so that they can take care of us isn't it ?

[Distracted]

What are australian values though?

Whatever they are they're so ambiguous that we need to spend $500 million teaching people.

[Grundle Sailor]

Mate I'd spend 5000 millyun gettin southern cross Tatts for new migrants, theys need to know where there -are!?!

[spooge]

Mate I'd spend 5000 millyun gettin southern cross Tatts for new migrants, theys need to know where there -are!?!

NO.

[-RC-]

^ This. I withdraw my earlier heavily-sarcastic comment. Lesson learned.

[DiscoStu]

asking tony "giving prince phillip a knighthood sounds like a fantastic idea" abbott about australian values