angkor wat

[incognito]

Edit- double pOst

Edited April 17, 2012 by incognito

[incognito]

Well I'm here in the Malaysian airport. Having a cup of chai with a beturbaned Tamil tiger. Or so He tells me. Nice chap, bit hard to understand.

I swear to god torstens doppelgänger was on the plane, I almost yelled out in disbelief, and took a wander closer to make sure it wasn't him. Mirror image, scary.

Valium has kicked in and goes well with this chicken curry. Even my pal here says its fucking hot curry and my bald head is beaded with sweat.

The coffee is absolutely shit, but I must say the Malays and my Indian pal have been all very friendly.

Looking forward to Cambodia for some much needed r and r ( been working 12 hrs a night 6-7 days a week since last October. So first week shall equal sleep, food and partying. Then to make Psylo happy I'm going to guzzle python cum out of a freshly severed monkeys nose, while tag teaming a collection of ladyboys if I can convince my Tamil friend here.

So good to be out of Australia's central west where no one knows me! I truly am Incognito!

Oh yeah, has anyone ever noticed how FUCKING HOT Malaysian people are? Guys and girls! They have some vey fit genetics and I would quite happily nail them all if they played their cards right ;) next trip Malaysia ! Woot!

Edited April 17, 2012 by incognito

[Marcel]

Dammit. Now I wanna go.

[sethomopod]

So, Incognito... How's it all going there? any new experiences you want to share? How's the culture shock?

[sethomopod]

Just spoke to Incognito.. He has no internet right now..

He sounds like he's having fun.. He was asked to enter a boxing match tonight!! At least they were going to pay him.......

$5 to potentially end his holiday

@Psylo, I have already talked to him about dining on snake...He's keen!!

[Psylo]

YES ! It sounds like he's slipped nicely into the heart of darkness already, and avoided the mainstream tourist scene. Good stuff.

When he gets to 'Nam, we want a video of him drinking cobra blood.

Incog, I'm so happy for you right now.

[sethomopod]

When he gets to 'Nam, we want a video of him drinking cobra blood.

 

I'll see what I can do....

INCOGNITO!!! I know you're not on the net right now... I hope you stop into a net cafe......If you read this, give me a call mate.

I tried texting you with how to get here... No luck...

I also tried calling on the number you called me on... For some reason I cant call you....

I'll PM you all the info....

I hope you get this

[Foo]

Lucky you man.

When you get to Siem Reap there is an aussie/khmer owned bar at the end of pub street called "x-bar". Worth checking out as sometimes they have some rather unique entertainment.

[sethomopod]

Man, For a guy who is in the midst of a hectic fruit season, I get bored easily..

I took a little vid of what Incognito will see when he gets here..

There may be 1 or 2 (literally) people who may find this more interesting than a coma..

If any one has seen a real packing shed.. I have to say.. ALL this machinery was made by a panel beater who we showed some pics to.. It is rough as guts and small (not like our $400,000 GP grader in oz! lol) but it gets the job done..

 

Grrrr. Bastard wont embed for some reason... embedded one today in post your track of the day...

ahhhhh I dunno.....confounded technology!!

Edited April 21, 2012 by sethomopod

[incognito]

well its been fucking weird, fun and quite frightening. last night i thought a cambo guy had well and truly pulled my card.

been hanging out with a really cool chick, not what u think, she has plenty of beans and her dad is a ganja farmer of all things , went home met the fam had a feed, checked out the crop exchanged tips etc.

anyways last night we where ABSOLUTELY fucked up at martinis. anyone wo knows me knows i dont drink, but between me and my frind nom we dran nearly a bottle of o.p rum and half a bottle of tequila. anyways we have fun calling each other motherfuckerrrrrr'in a khmer accent. its her thing and she sounds hell funny when she swears and i cant help mimicking.

anyways i am sooo fucking pissed u could poor me into a bucket.

anyways nom wants to head off for a spliff, so grabs me by the arm and says we will go on a motorbike as its only 50c.

by then i dont know which way is up so off we go. anyways shes all lets go motherfuckerrrrr and gets on the back of this honda postie bike, and im thinking where the fuck am i gonna sit. i struggle to squeeze on, me nom and the driver, driver takes of at mack 10 and i nearly fall off as we head into what looks like one million motorbikes heading straight at us.

i lean forward to nom and say "move up motherfuckeeerrrrrr"with a khmer twang.

obviously the driver is not having a good night.

he looks around and i am staring straight into beezllebubs eyes.

driver takes off even faster, hes not happy. nom looks back at me , terrified, saying, t"this not good, driver think u call him bad name in hate""i consider jumping off underneath the wheels of a million motorbikes half a metre behind me. I envision all kinds of severe endings. Anyhow we end up next to a river somewhere?? and driver jumps of bike, pumped as fuck. i tell nom to tell him its a joke between me and her, yet he doesnt seem fazed. He says, "YOU pay me now mothrfuckerrrr'' and lifts his shirt showing a pistol ala la gangsta style. i nearly piss my pants, get my wallet and give him the 10 buks that was in it. then he turns to nom and says ÿou pay as well for bulang call me motherfukcer!!'" this guy is near foaming at the mouth, and nom gives him aother 20.

idriver stood there for 5 mins or so, i think seriously contemplating whether to kill me or not. then he jumps on his bike, yells something in khmer at me and burns off. full on man.

long story short it was fucking scary, we got picked up by a passing tuk tuk and got home safe and sound, both sober as judges.

never ever will i swear in cambodia ever again.

oh yeah that boxig thing was a cak really, on seths advice i tried dog which i found to be really fucking gross.

i swear to you khmer hospitality is the finest ive ever experienced 5 stars from me. fish amok in a coconut shell- the beez neez.

some westerners here are real cunts, no wonder mr motorbike man wanted to blast me.

had an altercation with a german man after he backhanded a khmer bar girl in the walkabout, which kind off made me quite popular with theother working girls which made for quite an interesting "free" night to say the least which i could write an entire novel about unto itself. i think i may have lost a portion of my soul but damn it felt great ;)

erm what else...shot an m16, bruised my shoulder.

......and ive only been here 4 days.

all up khmer people are the shiz, just the gun thing unnerved me last night a tad, so im trying to head over and chill with seth until my nads drop back down.

im definately stopping drinking now. doesnt agree with me! never has.

hope yall well.

peace out mofos,

see u soon seth!

[incognito]

$450 usd sounds alot to get to nha trang from here seth??? would i be better off booking at airport?

[sethomopod]

$450 usd sounds alot to get to nha trang from here seth??? would i be better off booking at airport?

 

What a 4 days mate!! Priceless memories!

Yeah, 450 sounds a bit steep...

From HCMC to Nha Trang, is about $60 max ecomony.. $120 business.. 4 flights a day..

Theres a flight tomorrow fo $55 here...

http://www.vietnamairlines.com/wps/portal/en/site/home?lang=en&country=vietnam&country_code=VN

http://www.vietnamea...-Chi-Minh-City/

the above says $185 USD from Phnom Penh to HCMC..

So should cost about half what you're qouted... Unless your quote was for return flights..

See you soon mate...

Edited April 22, 2012 by sethomopod

[Psylo]

Catch a bus from PP to Saigon, it's cheap as chips. Then I suppose another bus to NaTrang, although I dont know the state of the roads... maybe hitch onto a local's motorbike rider if its only a couple of hours

[incognito]

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK i judt paid 240 for a flight to hmc tonight at 7 fucking sad face!

[Psylo]

You were robbed. A bus would have cost you $30 or so

If you are homesick for western fare, theres a joint in Saigon called Pepperonis. BEST. PIZZA. EVER. (not happy pizza dont ask !). Its in the main touristy street.

And vietnamese coffee (condensed milk style) is excellent in some of cafe's down there too.

You can score from the dodgy male staff at the Guns & Roses bar across from the park.

Enjoy !

Edited April 22, 2012 by Psylo Dread

[incognito]

sad face

okay seth im sorted, i will arrive at NHA at 8.45 tomorrow morning, iwhenever u finish work etc is fine.

fucking kicking myself now about paying 240 dollars to get to hmc. im going to have to hold back on my spending now, only 1800 left in the holiday coffers until i can get back to my lushious, safe bed, with my roor, in my nice jammies and uggies. i think im way homesick now, might have to find a chemist now and dose up on some kind of sedative, my nerve is absolutely fucked.

Edited April 22, 2012 by incognito

[sethomopod]

Catch a bus from PP to Saigon, it's cheap as chips. Then I suppose another bus to NaTrang, although I dont know the state of the roads... maybe hitch onto a local's motorbike rider if its only a couple of hours

 

I would use caution catching a bus here... The roads are terrible and the drivers are fearless (read: dangerous)

Trains are a better option... They dont leave tracks as often as buses leave roads.. Trust me.. I hear it all the time (info tidbit- 31 people die on the roads in Vietnam EVERYDAY!)

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK i judt paid 240 for a flight to hmc tonight at 7 fucking sad face!

 

Ouch... Sorry mate, I must've posted that info too late..

You might be lucky and be able to connect to Nha Trang tonight.. I think the last flight gets in around 9pm.. It's only a 45min flight so you might make it...

Let me know how you go...

[incognito]

its so much easier communcating with you on sab than via phone or text

bah 40 buks difference.. i put that down to wanting to get the fuck outta phnom penh !

psyllos all about the danger, im sure he would dig it.

psyloo should rent a room at the fat lamb hotel for a week,the rednecks would love him

well who woulda thunk it that sab, and psyllo would have calmed me down

im off fora fish amok and something fucking cold and tasty and non alcoholic, and a nap before i head to HMC, spend time with seth then on to seim reap for the temples. then back to PP. then back to work. kinda sad face but man familiarity is waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy underrated.

Edited April 22, 2012 by incognito

[Psylo]

Yea, only because I'm artistically prepared for trouble. You need to find a tattooist quick-smart.

[sethomopod]

So how'd u go with the connecting flight, should i expect u tonight or tomorrow?

[Marcel]

Incog: that was an awesome trip report.

Keep us updated, you crazy son of a bitch.

[Psylo]

So how'd u go with the connecting flight, should i expect u tonight or tomorrow?

 

in the event that he isnt able to reply to you, earlier on the chat I think, I got the impression that his flight to Saigon is late tonight and his connecting flight wasn't until tomorrow. I might be wrong bout that as the chat transcripts are no longer on the active screen.

The cobra gets a stay of execution for 24 hours.

I had one of the most satisfying meals ever in Saigon once, a little old lady in a backstreet, set up on ridiculously tiny toddler's furniture, cooked me & a mate up some noodles, tofu, chicken and veggies. All for the sum of 40 cents each, I don't even know how that is possible !

You need to talk jono out of leaving early, he's talking about cancelling has return ticket an running home ! Maybe a nice lunch of squid's teeth, pig's lungs and fried crickets washe down with a room-temperature 333 will win him over.

[Psylo]

and dessert of durian fruit

[incognito]

well, it seems cambodia is testing every inch of my metel.

went to leave to see seth, would not let me board as i didnt have a viet visa. very sad face

unbeknownst to me, u cant just get one at hcm airport if leaving from phnom penh. sad face.

got seth and his viet friends on phone to said official, still to no avail. viet official now getting very over me, so i leave before he decides to pop a cap in my ass.

had a mini breakdown sitting down at an icecreamery outside the airport trying to regather. a khmer man and his little girl where sitting down eating an icecream together. little one looked just like mine, and he was such a doting father, watching her as she ate with a look of complete love on his face. i start crying like a vape inhaling little bitch. sad face. but maybee the spirit of regathering may have rubbed off from the khmers, and i start walking toward the sound of "tuk tuk"

and here i am in godknows what hotel recommended by a tuk tuk. as im sitting here typing the receptionist is asking how many ladies i want for massage?? this place is mental, i told him i want to sleep but hes a persistant fucker. oh yeah it has free internet so i guess thats a wee plus.

viet official assures me that i can fly without paying again as long as i have the visa, but we will see how that goes. im doubtful just quiety.

dodgy cambo official sneaks in once viet official and states that if i rock up at 12 tomorrow he will do a viet visa for 90 dollars. ive nfi my head is swimming and im just giving in to the place now. wee bit crazy taking on this place alone.

in regard to the motorcycle incident, i was talking to glenn the aussie owner at the walkabout about it, and he stated that the tuk tuk drivers that night where extra vigilant with westerners due to the fact that 3 westerners kicked the shit out of a tuk tuk driver much earlier that night, apparently near to death, so things could have been much much worse (he coulda popped me) anyhoo over that now.

oh yeah and marcel im wearing ur whip-it! tshirt u gave me, its the last clean item off clothing i have, and i thankyou for it man!

I have sworn of the alcohol, i believe its the reson this bad karma has arisen.

anyways must go, malaysian businessmen are trying to initiate conversation. hooroo.

edit- na psylo ima ride the wave now, im obviously here for a reason, im definately learning how small my nads are lol

really its all very fucking funny, if it where a movie i would be pissing myself laughing asides for the gun bit. never have i gone from BLIND drunk to stone sober in .5 seconds.

could have easily fallen in love with my mate nom, easily one of the coolest, biggest and best personality chicks ive met, weve decided we r bro and sis from another mother. and no we never "bang bang" or "yum yum" as they say here, and not once did she ever ask for money, if anything i had to stop her buying me stuff...but dammmnnnn the girl can drink and smoke erb!!! would love to see her with a bulberator in hand. and easily one of the most beautiful girls ive met..ever. i met her when buying a beeling recharge pack, and where rather inseperable the last 3 days- "fucking cool chick mannn..." in her words. i miss her heaps already but we are gonna go to siem reap together when i get back from seths.

thanks heaps seth if u read, u have been a very calming influence on me, ur like a form of anchor way off in the distance that i know ill reach somehow when i work through the cluster fuck.

i recommend ANYONE come to cambo, maybee research ALOT more than i did before coming, be very polite and i guess treat the locals how u would like to be treated. they r fucking cool, but unfortunately cambo also attracts the worst kind of westerners. cunts who believe they are superior to the khmers and on a power trip. its easy to see these cunts are nobodys at home and would not be able to get a root in their home countrys for shit. theres alot of guys here that have just gone through, going through divorces that like to take that out on the girls when they get them in there rooms, as glenn advised me.

i think any of the readers here would have done the same as i if they had of witnessed the behaviour of this german asshole i had a fracass with. its was the most sickening shit ive EVER witnessed, however, as glenn pointed out to me, i was VERY lucky that the bar manager, staff and bargirls present spoke up for me, or else i would also have been in the cambo prison awaiting deportation, which is what happened to that unsavoury character, he got his ass kicked by bargrls, security and police in that order that night.

I fucking loved hanging out with the bargirls. man those girls survive on personality alone. and no i didnt do "that" with them, well not all of them ;) i really just enjoyed chilling and buying them a feed and a beer (a whopping 1.20) and these girls would just really entertain you, fucking awesome pool players, and i dont think i won a single game of connect 4, but fucking slayed them at uno. they met the australian uno master! i seriously have sooooooooooooooo much respect for them. these girls get NOTHIN from the gov. every cent they get they gotta earn. often supporting their entire family. and they are so close knit. ive seen them empty their wallets to another bar girl they dont even know who has asked them for money. super generous to the beggers and street kids, i watched with my own two eyes around a dozen la-de-da swanky americans, wives in tow, walk straight past two crippled beggars, the bar girls just thought that was just fucked, and went out and gave the travelling crippled beggars??? they where in like trolleys of some descript, money and food. seeing stuff like that shows me humans just may be still worth somethin.

WHATEVER u do, dont start shit here, the khmers are lovely people but i believe have hearts of warriors and do NOT fuck around with abusive and rude bulang whatsoever.

as my friend nom says "i very fucking tough girl, but have very good fucking good heart man"

to be continued at next clusterfuck shitfight where there may be a net cafe about. thankyou sab for allowing me to vent, and not deleting this crap lol

Edited April 22, 2012 by incognito

[sethomopod]

in the event that he isnt able to reply to you, earlier on the chat I think, I got the impression that his flight to Saigon is late tonight and his connecting flight wasn't until tomorrow. I might be wrong bout that as the chat transcripts are no longer on the active screen.

The cobra gets a stay of execution for 24 hours.

I had one of the most satisfying meals ever in Saigon once, a little old lady in a backstreet, set up on ridiculously tiny toddler's furniture, cooked me & a mate up some noodles, tofu, chicken and veggies. All for the sum of 40 cents each, I don't even know how that is possible !

You need to talk jono out of leaving early, he's talking about cancelling has return ticket an running home ! Maybe a nice lunch of squid's teeth, pig's lungs and fried crickets washe down with a room-temperature 333 will win him over.

 

Thanks for that Psylo.. I didn't see the chat.. Cheers..

Room temp Ba Ba Ba.. You're a sadistic fucker aren't you!?! lol... Done it many many a time.. every time with the worst hangover.. At least Tiger beer has no hangover.. Just a black out when hit far too hard...

well, it seems cambodia is testing every inch of my metel.

went to leave to see seth, would not let me board as i didnt have a viet visa. very sad face

unbeknownst to me, u cant just get one at hcm airport if leaving from phnom penh. sad face.

got seth and his viet friends on phone to said official, still to no avail. viet official now getting very over me, so i leave before he decides to pop a cap in my ass.

had a mini breakdown sitting down at an icecreamery outside the airport trying to regather. a khmer man and his little girl where sitting down eating an icecream together. little one looked just like mine, and he was such a doting father, watching her as she ate with a look of complete love on his face. i start tearing up big time.

and here i am in godknows what hotel recommended by a tuk tuk. as im sitting here typing the receptionist is asking how many ladies i want for massage?? this place is mental, i told him i want to sleep but hes a persistant fucker. oh yeah it has free internet so i guess thats a wee plus.

viet official assures me that i can fly without paying again as long as i have the visa, but we will see how that goes. im doubtful just quiety.

dodgy cambo official sneaks in once viet official and states that if i rock up at 12 tomorrow he will do a viet visa for 90 dollars. ive nfi my head is swimming and im just giving in to the place now. wee bit crazy taking on this place alone.

in regard to the motorcycle incident, i was talking to glenn the aussie owner at the walkabout about it, and he stated that the tuk tuk drivers that night where extra vigilant with westerners due to the fact that 3 westerners kicked the shit out of a tuk tuk driver much earlier that night, apparently near to death, so things could have been much much worse (he coulda popped me) anyhoo over that now.

oh yeah and marcel im wearing ur whip-it! tshirt u gave me, its the last clean item off clothing i have, and i thankyou for it man!

I have sworn of the alcohol, i believe its the reson this bad karma has arisen.

anyways must go, malaysian businessmen are trying to initiate conversation. hooroo.

 

Everybody send love and goodies to our man Incognito right now...

Incog.. I feel soooo bad man... I feel like it's my fault.. I even tried to get my employee to ask if you could work it out a "special way".. He shook his head..

After a bit of research.. I found out that if I only could've told you a day or two ago, You could've lined it up.. I feel like I have added to your stress ...

I've been so busy I didn't look into it enough for you man..

My offer that we talked about on the phone still stands if you need it... Trust me.. It's no problem if you need help...

Fuck mate.. I'm feelin for you right now...

My only consolation is that I can get you nice and relaxed as soon as you step out of the airport here... to varying degrees of your choosing..

My feelers have been tickled a little.. Although still looking for your fave, I should be able to help you chill....

I wish I could write more but I gotta crash...

I hope things go smooth for you bro!

Let me know how you go...

Peace...

Edited April 22, 2012 by sethomopod