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AbleKay

are men the new "gatherers"?

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I know there's plenty of female gardeners, but I only know a small number. I mostly know dudes that are into plants. even "flowers" are mostly bought by men (but sold by women, mostly, hmmm).

we are taught to (and generally) believe that men were the hunters and women were the gatherers. If I look back to my parents and their parents I see only men with an interest in gardening...

anyway, no real questions here, just had to get that off my chest.

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perhaps it's variable with generations...?

wish i knew if my dad was a good gardener... but i was stolen from him when i was 4 by my mum..

I know his sister and mother were amazing at growing whole fields of "garden" - especially olives..

and i had thunk maybe it was just something about England?...

I've seen loads more female gardeners internationally

but:-

my mum was fkn shit with any plants lol after inheriting a 1 acre "largest garden on the estate" self sufficiency 3 greenhouse dream plot set up by mainly my grandpa from Wales (ex army officer built all but the house)

but my Irish gran was twin terbo super gardener and taught me all the basics I knew and even knew how to ID mushrooms!

i can only think of 2 girls in my town who garden and they run the flower shop..

all my mums(formerly grandparent's) neighbours ... its just the men who do the work and all the wives just do the enjoying...

I have a female friend who is soooo awesome with plants but shes a shaman anyway ..

every single girl i ever had a relationship with were either; fkn terrible with plants but appeared to really try hard.... or actively set out to destroy my work out of spite/jealousy?

-perhaps this latter kind should be outbred from humanity with a more selective procedure?

(imagines dating sites adding a gardener check box)

-oddly enough my mother appeared to manifest this affliction to a point noticeable last winter simply by my telling her that the orrible gits i tried to nurture were mean to my plants and fish (and many many things else)

my children often tell me how she pushed our cacti over when i wasnt there.. and even laughed about how they would have a kink in them and maybe fall on people

(imagine werdermannianus falling on a 6 yr old child being funny?)

at least she didnt stab them like the other spitefuls..

-come to think of it all of my exes have shit gardeners for mums and super bad gardeners for dads...

(even the mums who were lovely but had shit husbands)

you certainly have a really good point there..

and perhaps temperament/spoilt brattiness is not the only issue albeit probably the very main one?

(at least in my personal experience)

hmm, what about reverse view?..

my daughter seems to know more than my sons and actually remember plant IDs unlike my sons lol

so with any luck the uber fem gardener streak stopped skipping generations..

-perhaps it's because she sees just how much they mean and her mum isn't there to teach her the nast?

and dissuade her from her own inner desires to love and care for beautiful things that are special in her life.

I think females are way more than capable of being equal because there are those who prove it ... there's lots if you look at it globally..

it appears just that most choose not to for some reason ..?

I wonder what the full spectrum of reasons are ?

perhaps one is ...: -

so that they have an ammunition to fire that nobody can inflict the same damage back in response inside a whole subject that nobody will appear to care about too often outside of their own garden?

perhaps they have all the domain they desire as a whole and just wish servitude ?

(usually by importation of males from poorer countries here)

perhaps some think it's just too much work?

perhaps some just assume they will fail or lack confidence maybe?

surely its not all about "breaking a nail" or "getting: all dirty and shit"

(although that's what one just told me lol)

anyhow check out this beautiful little gem that just erupted today ;)

post-14443-0-89217300-1447427021_thumb.j

-just rang another female friend to pick her brain too and she said:-

"flowers are about the back breaking sweat a man goes through to pay for and procure them and girls see it as cheating when a man buys them the plant that makes their favourite flower because he no longer has to work to get it", ( !!!!! )

when asked , "what about the nurturing and feeding and research to make it flower again and again?",

was answered: " no that doesn't count and it means waiting for it to happen"

(100% for honesty given)

-just rang a male friend with a gardening wife but father of 5 girls told me "modern women are all about war games and gardens are too much like peace"

what's really interesting now is the diversity of answers, ...

gna go and ask everyone I know and see what else dragging the waters will cough up :3

Edited by ☽Ţ ҉ĥϋηϠ₡яღ☯ॐ€ðяئॐ♡Pϟiℓℴϟℴ
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"modern women are all about war games and gardens are too much like peace"

Shit... Lol, it's not looking good for me, hopefully there's still some old fassion girls around here, Lmao

I wonder about the gatherer thing though, I don't garden to provide I only do so because the plants themselves fascinate me, how they can survive and weird behaviour at times.

The women I know do not understand, they will grow veggies to eat or for the prettiness, but the men I know who garden, have collections of plants they find interesting and seem to study them more. Like how males seem to dominate technical jobs. My gardening is a technical thing for me.

In saying that, I only talk with a few females day to day.

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Well, these roles are no longer so relevant, or at least they manifest in different forms.

In my family, the women tend to do the shopping... isn't that gathering?

Also- most gardening done now a days isn't motivated by the need to eat, it's more so inspired by a fascination for the different plants, as BedofSpines mentions.

Just a couple ideas to throw in there

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my mum's an avid gardener, dad not so much

my mum's dad was an avid gardener, he grew show orchids

i really don't think a love for gardening is a sex specific thing

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lol @ BOS , he is an ex milliatary (70s- early80s era)and I guess they do live by a code of "bullshit baffles brains"

i think his millitant daughters must've learned from him lol

-i'm struggling to find more female gardeners lol , so I went to the shops and plucked up courage to ask a few that looked friendly enough to approach but erm ...

i hope those growery girls haven't gone into hiding feeling persecuted or anything : /

so who tipped em off eh? Dx

i guess it is a bit wierd ... lol at the local shopping precinct it went roughly like this :-

guy: hey do you garden?

girl: *sucks teeth* what da fuk"

guy: huh nuuthin... *moves on swiftly*

girl: "yes run bwaaay"

guy *tries not to look back concealing the laughing*

guy: hey do you like gardening?

girl2: erm .. yeahhh... oh yeah gardening eh?*smirk appears* like old people do....?

guy: *is gone already*

guy: hello there do you like plants and growing things that make real pretty flowers?

girl3: oh yeah I would love to be able to do that but it's 'ard enough tryna to grow me mam's tomarterz..

guy: what about house plants or orchids?

girl3: well i bought one for me mam on muvver's day but she killed it and now I'm scared I might not be able to look after one because she's better than me at gardening ..

but I think they're ever so pretty, and i love seeing them in the supermarket..

guy: thank you kindly for your time and I hope you give them a rewarding try one day.

girl3: erm yeaaahh and you too darlin taraa (local dialect for goodbye)

guy: hello there do you like gardening

lady4 with blank expression: err-derr-what? *walks off looking guy up and down with pained expression..

*in distance on the ole biddy bench* "that wierd bloke over there just asked me if I liked gardening, I mean what the f*** is all that abaaaght like we don't 'av enough on our f***in plate on a saturday morning with that bastard moaning all the time about his garden" ...

(or expletives to thereabouts lol) x]

I forgot most of the other replies and just going from memory ... lol at run bwaaay x]

*retires for the morning*

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Lmao thunder I couldn't help but laugh, I'm really not supprised tho sadly. Now I think about it hunting and gathering are kinda the same thing, you can hunt vegetables right?

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I've had the opposite experience where all the rad gardeners I am related to, I know socially and myself are female identified, I only know a small handful of men personally who have any green thumb.

I feel like there probably isn't an uneven distribution across gender its just who we have gravitated to associating with.

Although I do notice that communities like this one tend towards being male dominated and female gardeners tend to stay more in their own spheres

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perhaps it's down to whoever it is that hands on the baton (generationally speaking) and whoever receives it..

(thank you so much Grannie :wub: )

good to know that you guys have some .. and greater europe..

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It's an interesting point. Horse, you've come across some real pieces of work by the sounds of it. And tbh I can't relate in any way to what your friend told you about men buying flowers... unless they've done a REAL dick move like get a blowy at a party, then scorn is to be expected in most cases.

I wonder though if it's to do with a more suburbanised culture nowadays? Women (still) tend to do the inside chores while the men still do most of outside work like mowing which begats a better connection with one's garden I guess? My maternal grandma grew up in northern NSW from a timber pioneering family so they uswed to go out with "the boys" for days at a time hunting and foraging, including the poppies they grew out there so she told me. Unfortunately I didn't get to live near her enough to really take on board all her knowledge. From her I learnt about comfrey, rosehip oil, chamomile, nasturtiums, homoeopathy, reflexology and stuff like that. I hear she was quite a wild child when she was young, driving around in her little convertible. Im guessing there were "secrets" which led her to marry her second husband, my papa, and lead a proper baptist woman's life. We had some really good conversations in the few years before she died a couple of years ago and I think if she were my age now, we'd be best friends and she'd be butt-chugging the poppy juice with a grin.

My partner is fascinated with all things ethno now, due to connecting with the plant spirits. It's wonderful I can share this part of my life with my other (not better ;) ) half, unlike my ex which made it quite hard for me to keep up the physical side of having an ethno garden in years previous.

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I think the real question is do we need these gender roles anymore at all? I don't think so, I think they're a relic of a bygone time. FWIW I know just as many (if not more) women who are into gardening as men. Might just be a product of the circles you've been moving in?

Edited by gtarman
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I think the real question is do we need these gender roles anymore at all? I don't think so, I think they're a relic of a bygone time. FWIW I know just as many (if not more) women who are into gardening as men. Might just be a product of the circles you've been moving in?

I reckon there is a case for gender roles, simply for efficency, in saying that I don't think any are better or worse. Most animals have clear gender roles. and it is probably a product of the circle I've been moving in, of which it includes my family. It seems to me not many people at all (actually no person) who are friends around my age could really give a shit about gardening at all... *sigh

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yeah its gotta be this place im at man

maybe my subconcious had to put out feelers to see just how big the "ungardener slick" was

asked a few more who had really nice gardens and turned out they paid someone to come round and do it every so often lol

i look at the local school gardens and they look untouched and over grown with weeds... not much of an inspiration from an institute of learning .. luckily mycology found it though unbeknown and oft-betrampled by any lol

maybe theyll sell me their acrylic greenhouse? :3

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I am of the female gardening variety :)

But i actually only have one female friend...

This thread has got me wondering if maybe theres a connection :/

*looks at dirty fingernails and feet*.....

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my partner is an avid gardener. she loves to garden. she loves flowers. without going into to much detail and giving my identity away she is one of victorias most knowledgeable flower experts.

we share common interests in some plants "typicaly tropical, succulent and bromeiliads" but when it comes to my ethno stuff and things I grow to sweat on, I mean eat. she rolls her eyes at me lol!

but I do mow the lawns when she pesters me. usually I sit and have a cigarette and beer looking at the grass cursing it in my mind.

bloody grass!

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