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Guest The God of Fuck

I AM THE GOD OF FUCK

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Guest The God of Fuck

That's right you filthy bitches!!!!

I have surpassed Chemical Shamanism and I have now transcended into the realm of holiness, the trinity of fuck! I am the father of fuck, the son of fuck and I am the holy fuck!!!!

The Chemical Shaman is no more, he has been deleted. Over 450 posts gone in the blink of an eye because it would have taken "a while" to make a backup.

Everything that made Chemical Shaman is now gone, make way for THE GOD OF FUCK!

With this new title also comes new responsibilities.

Prepare to see an:

80% increase in profanity

20% increase in nudity (im naked right now and "touching it")

36% increase in shenanigans

I have also put into place some new forum rules

Immunity

From today onwards it is a sin to ban the god of fuck from the forums. Doing so may well jeopardise your afterlife. You could be sent to hell to shove pineapples up the ass of Hitler (along with satori!). Banning the God of Fuck will be considered the most obscene act of blasphemy possible.

Allegiance

From today onwards in order to become a member of these boards you must first pledge allegiance to the god of fuck. If you are not prepared to do this you may not visit these boards. This includes YOU Torsten.

Consideration

It has occurred to me how inconsiderate you sons of bitches really are. You are only posting for yourselves and other people like yourselves paying little or no attention to the 3 major disability groups i.e. the Blind, the Illiterates and the French. From today onwards I expect to see multi posting formats put into place. If you make a post that you can read you better be damn sure that everyone else can read it too. Failing to do so will be a sin.

All of my posts after this one will be made available to the blind, the illiterate and the French.

Masturbation

From today onwards if you are going to masturbate you must do so over me. You are to print out a picture of the god of fuck and stare directly into my eyes as you masturbate. If you are married or defacto then mutual masturbation is advised. However you must both be wearing your "God of Fuck" masks which will be made available soon. This means that by masturbating over Veronica (yes I mean you shroomy) you are committing a sin. Punnishable by the "Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich". If you are one who enjoys masturbating in public (I know I do) you are required to carry a wallet-sized photo at all times.

BBQ

On the third Sunday of every month I will be holding a BBQ at my house. If you live in Victoria you are required to come. This is absolutely compulsory. If you are one of those sicko vegan freaks I will be providing several sticks of celery. If you do not live in Victoria you will be required to go to the following locations.

NSW: Shroomys House

QLD: The house of Rekowski

More locations to be released soon.

Please note: If you are attending BBQ's at Shroomys house please respect his rules and don't be "titty grabbing" his wife. He has very little tolerance for such things.

Please also note that these events are compulsory and failure to show up will result in me coming to your house and beating the living shit out of you.

Name Changes

The following people are to change their names to those listed below

Shroomy-Reverend Shroomy

Congratulations, you are now a reverend for the church of fuck.

Waterdragon- High Priest water dragon

(alternatively High Priest H2O Dragon)

Nozzle Boy- You will be known as the Chemical Jesus. As of today you are my right hand man, like unto my son. Your duties will be very important, for example crucifixion etc.

Darcy- You are to be known as Dr Love.

Please change your name immediately.

Tithing

As with all good religions comes a tithe.

From this day forth you will be required to send to me 10% of any drugs you purchase.

For example if you purchase a gram of cannabis you will be required to send me 100mg of cannabis.

If you buy a trip you will be required to send me 10-15micrograms of LSD (yes I will be measuring)

It is advised that if you are purchasing pills you do so 10 at a time as it will make measuring easier. If you do not pay tithe you will be sent to hell where use of drugs is strictly prohibited.

Stalking

I am hereby banning my stalker from stalking me. I know you are reading this you sick fucko and I want you to know that every time you fuck with me and every time you fuck with my family it only makes me stronger. Why don't you get a hobby you demented bitch? My patience is wearing thin!

Sending of Virus's

You know who you are motherfucker. If you email me another virus I am going to beat the living shit out of you. Do you think I am so goddamn stupid that I don’t have virus protection???? Do you also think I am stupid enough to just go opening up mysterious attachments willy nilly? Get fucked punk, you cannot hurt me. I can and will hurt you though!!!!

Heaven and Hell

Did you know that in the Christians heaven it is illegal to take drugs, you cant buy em anywhere, not even from that seedy looking dude on that cloud next to moses's house. Also did you know that in heaven bitches don't shave their legs? You got chicks walking around with hair so thick you could brush it!!! NOT IN MY HEAVEN BABY!!!

It's real simple, you follow the rules you go to heaven. My heaven is very similar to Hugh Heffners "PlayBoy Mansion" except theres more drugs and the girlies are better.

You can literally walk up to a tree and pick an MDMA apple from a branch. The drugs are plentiful and pure, there's plenty of things to do, there’s no gospel fucking hymns, no harps, no guilt, it's a blissful paradise. All I ask is you follow my rules and I’ll see you in the afterlife!!!

Price of admission

This rule is simple. If you read my posts you reply to my posts. Even if it's just one word I don't care. If you don't like this rule then don't read my posts. If I find out you are breaking this rule I will be sending the Chemical Jesus to beat the living shit out of you. That boy's got a nasty head stomp manoeuvre you has to be seen to be believed.

Quotes

From today onwards you are all to create signature files to attach to your posts. In this signature file must be a quote from the god of fuck. Some examples are

-------------------------------

"The bitches need my inches"

-The God of Fuck

-------------------------------

"I'd rather slurp rancid tuna salad out of mulga's unwashed asshole"

-The God of Fuck

-------------------------------

"I'll bring home the Turkey if you bring home the Bacon."

-The God of Fuck

--------------------------------

"Tom is gay"

-The God of Fuck

--------------------------------

This is the format that they must be in. The ONLY format.

You may also use complete sentences if you like

I.e.

------------------------------

"It wasn't until the road ahead of me exploded into an astonishing array of fractals that I decided to close my eyes and let god take the wheel."

-The God of Fuck

-------------------------------

Amen

All emails sent to my inbox must end with AMEN.

simple enough

Tom is gay

This isn't a rule. Im just letting you know.

Sodomy

Under my new religion sodomy is not a sin. Infact it is encouraged as often as possible.

Christmas Cards

It's been quite a few years for me now but im bringing this move back into play. Every year you are required to take photo's of yourself doing something illegal and then make them into Christmas Cards and mail them to your local police station. You are to address them to "Officer Pigfucker" "Sergent ass-jammer" etc. This will make the dang police furious beyond belief and will provide an unimaginable amount of laughs for yourself.

Example.

cs1.jpg

Pineapple Doughnut

Im hungry , somebody get me a pineapple doughnut.

Social Interaction

If you live in Victoria you will be required to meet up with me every so often for a night of havoc. These nights will be called "Shenanigan nights" and may include the taking of narcotics. Bring a friend.

Backups

To prevent such a travesty from happening again you are all to make backups of my posts. If we ever see a repeat of the recent events you will have something to remember me by.

Photo Albums

If you invite me to your house for Christmas lunch and you think I would derive immense enjoyment from looking at an album full of fuckwits that I have never met and know nothing about, you are sorely mistaken. I couldn't give a shit about seeing photos of your drunken cousins making fuckwits of themselves , I have no desire to sit there for hours while you tell me the story behind every single fucking photo in your album. You are a fucken dumbass if you think otherwise. Shove your photo albums up your ass.

Dogs

If you have one of those stupid annoying horny dogs that have to fuckin start with the leg humping as soon as a stranger walks through the door, don’t invite me to your house for Christmas lunch. If your dog comes anywhere near me I will kick that little fuck in it's head. If you have to, give your dog a goddamn hand job before I come over. Such sacrilege will not be tolerated.

Slut

Gomoas now has my esteemed permission to post his story "slut" in the psychedelic expressions forum. Any interference or feminist bullshit will result in being smitten. Trust me you don't want to feel my smite , it aint pretty.

Rules

These rules can be ammended and added to at any given moment so keep on your toes bitches!!

Profanity

If you are going to be a part of the church of fuck you must learn to speak like the god of fuck. Profanity no longer exists. Words such as "nigga" and "homo" are now common speak and must be integrated into every day conversation , like unto myself.

Examples

Wassup you nigga loving homo?

(Hello , what are you up to on this fine day)

Fuck all, you low life piece of shit assjammer

(Not much really)

Wanna skank up and head to the two one for fun?

(Would you like to accompany me and some fine ladies to the local night club establishment for some drinking and dancing.)

You bet your juicy ass

(Yes that would be dandy)

Tom is gay

Incase you'd forgotten , I thought i'd throw in a little reminder.

Confessions

Pretty soon I will be setting up a 24hour confession line. You may call this line and confess your sins directly to the god of fuck. You better make sure they're damn juicy. Start sinning now so you have something decent to confess. In the meantime you can just email your confessions to me. Please be as descriptive as possible.

Fiona Horne Bashing

It has been brought to my attention that there has been a considerable amount of Fiona Horne bashing in the last few days. This is to stop immediately. If any of you filthy bitches were 1/10th the beautiful person she was this world would be a better place. Any further negative remarks directed towards her will result in you feeling my wrath. You don't want to feel my wrath.

Freedom

On 9am monday morning I want you to call your boss and tell him that you are writing his name on your balls with lipstick. Happiness will only come from freedom. Set yourself free. Please disregard this if you actually enjoy your job or if you are unemployed.

FAQ

QYou have got to be the biggest dickhead in the entire universe.

AThat's not a question fucko.Next.

QIf I live in Victoria and don't show up to one of your fuckwit BBQ's how do you plan to beat the living shit out of me if you don't know where I live?

AThat’s simple, first I hack Torstens server to get everybodys i.p addresses, then I call your isp and demand that they give me your home address, phone number, credit card details and any other personal information they may have on you. They probably wont take me seriously until I tell them that I am the great god of fuck, then they will be dishing out the info like it's going out of fashion.

QIs Tom really gay?

AYes

QYou masturbate a lot don't you?

AMore than you could possibly imagine.

QAm I allowed to contribute more than one tenth to the great god of fuck?

AYou can be as generous as you like

QCan I suck your cock?

AYes.

QWhen you say that Tom is gay, what exactly do you mean by that?

AI mean that he is a homosexual.

QI am overwhelmingly upset at the great loss incurred when Chemical Shaman was deleted from my life with the move to another server. I have not been able to get out of bed or go to work or feed my family, can you give me some ideas as to how I might overcome this tragic loss?

AYes I have prepared a "Top 5" list which I have titled "How to overcome unimaginable loss"

1.Cocaine

2.DragonBallZ (series 1-7)

3.Shenanigans

4.Naked Ladies

5.Prayer

QI'm not sure i can hold the position of Dr. Love, great God Of Fuck. My limited intake of recreational drugs would not be enough to keep this title.

AThis decision is based purely on sex appeal alone and has little or nothing to do with drug intake. Grrrrrr

QIsn't it "virii" ? If we're gonna be letting the illiterate in on the act, we may as well get them started on the right foot.

ANO, I despise the word virii as much as I despise all those cock-eaters that use the word Denis' instead of Denis's.

eg. Let's go and fuck Denis' ass

Let's go and fuck Denis's ass

You see what I mean , anyone caught using such RIDICULOUS grammar will be sent straight to hell.

QDear God of Fuck , how do you justify your over indulgence in masturbation if you are supposed to be the god of fuck.

AI take it that in this example you are using the word FUCK as slang for sexual relations , well the answer to this one is simple. In 1985 the military were commissioned to conduct experimental surgery on my reproductive glands , I was paid $1.85 an hour for this work. Not many people realise but in a freak accident I was somehow the first Australian to receive penis enhancement surgery , that's right ladies my immense cock is the result of military experimentation. Also by pure mistake my ejaculate producing organs were somehow modified (we were working close to radioactive waste you see) and my ejaculate production was increased to 25 times that of a mere mortal. This means that I am currently pumping out an excess of 1 litre of semen every single day , no longer just for pleasure but also out of necessity. So you see while I still devote a great deal of time to fuck (sexual intercourse) I also masturbate for survival , it's hard work but I have little choice in the matter. If I was to just leave it be for a day you would find a room covered top to bottom with semen and a God of Fuck with an exploded torso sitting on the bed. I want you to picture this for a while , then make yourself a bowl of custard and picture it some more while you chow down. I also masturbate as it is the only time I get to fuck my ONE true love.

Qand if your self love involves actual fucking and you have indeed scored an own-goal please send the pictures to a forum that isn't this one.

A No problem

QI don't know that this "religion" really speaks to me.

My fellow ducks feel left out.

What about our language.

ADucks are not allowed in my heaven. All ducks go straight to hell. Fuckoff.

The God of Fuck has spoken!!!!!!!

Amen

click here to download an audio recording of this post

[This message has been edited by The God of Fuck (edited 31 December 2001).]

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Guest The God of Fuck

JE SUIS LE DIEU DE LA BAISE

C'est exact vous les chiennes dégoûtantes!!!!

J'ai surpassé Shamanism chimique et j'ai maintenant dépassé dans le royaume du holiness, la trinité de la baise! Je suis le père de la baise, le fils de la baise et je suis la baise sainte!!!!

Le Shaman chimique n'est pas plus, il a été effacé. Plus de 450 poteaux entrés dans le clignotement d'un oeil parce que cela aurait pris " un moment " pour faire une sauvegarde.

Tout que Shaman chimique fait est maintenant allé, font la voie pour LE DIEU DE LA BAISE!

Avec ce nouveau titre vient également les nouvelles responsabilités.

Préparez pour voir:

augmentation 80% de blasphème

augmentation 20% de nudity (im nu en ce moment et " le touchant ")

augmentation 36% des shenanigans

J'ai également installé quelques nouvelles règles de forum

Immunité

à partir d'aujourd'hui c'est un péché pour interdire le dieu de la baise des forum. Faire ainsi peut jaillir jepordise votre vie après la mort. Vous pourriez être envoyés à l'enfer pour pousser des ananas vers le haut de l'âne du hitler (avec le satori!). Interdisant Dieu de baise sera considéré la plupart d'acte d'obscene de blasphème possible.

Allégeance

À partir d'aujourd'hui afin d'aller bien à un membre de ces conseils vous doit d'abord mettre en gage l'allégeance au dieu de la baise. Si vous n'êtes pas disposés à faire ceci vous ne pouvez pas rendre visite à ces panneaux. Ceci vous inclut Torsten.

Considération

Elle s'est produite à moi comment inconsidéré vous des fils des chiennes êtes vraiment. Vous signalez seulement pour vous-mêmes et d'autres comme vous-mêmes payant à peu ou pas d'attention à l'cIe principal de 3 groupes d'incapacité l'abat-jour, les illiterates et le Français. À partir d'aujourd'hui je compte voir des formats de signalisation de muti installés. Si vous faites un poteau que vous pouvez vous lire mieux soit fichu sûr que chacun autrement peut le lire aussi. Ne fait pas ainsi sera un péché.

Tous mes poteaux après que celui-ci soit rendu disponible à l'abat-jour, l'illettré et le Français.

Masturbation

À partir d'aujourd'hui si vous allez au masturbate vous devez faire ainsi au-dessus de moi. Vous devez imprimer une image du dieu de la baise et regarder directement dans mes yeux en tant que vous masturbate. Si vous êtes mariés ou le masturbation mutuel de defacto alors est informé. Cependant vous devez être tous deux portiez votre " Dieu des masques " de baise qui seront rendus disponibles bientôt. Ceci signifie que par masturbating au-dessus de Veronica (oui je vous veux dire shroomy) vous commiting un péché. Punnishable par " le sandwich à beurre et à gelée d'arachide ". Si vous avez un ans qui a plaisir à masturbating l'en public (je savez que je ) que vous êtes priés de porter une photo classée par pochette à tout moment.

BBQ

Le troisième dimanche de chaque mois je tiendrai un BBQ à ma maison. Si vous habitez dans Victoria vous êtes priés de venir. C'est absoloutely forcé. Si vous êtes un de ces phénomènes vegan de sicko je fournirai plusieurs bâtons de céleri. Si vous n'habitez pas dans Victoria vous serez priés d'aller aux emplacements suivants.

NSW: Chambre De Shroomys

QLD: La maison de Rekowski

Plus d'emplacements à libérer bientôt.

Note de PLease: Si vous êtes présents BBQ's à la maison de Shroomys respectent s'il vous plaît ses règles et ne sont pas " titty saisissant " son épouse. Il a verly peu de tolerence pour de telles choses.

Veuillez noter également que ces événements sont forcés et le manque de révéler ait comme conséquence moi venant à votre maison et battant le shit vivant hors de vous.

Nommez Les Changements

Les personnes suivantes doivent changer là des noms en ceux énumérés ci-dessous

Shroomy-Reverend Shroomy

Des félicitations, vous êtes maintenant un reverend pour l'église de la baise.

Haut dragon de l'eau de prêtre de Waterdragon- (dragon alternativement haut de prêtre HÒ)

Garçon de bec vous serez connus en tant que Jésus chimique. En date d'aujourd'hui vous êtes mon homme droit, comme unto mon fils. Vos fonctions seront très importantes, par exemple le crucifiction etc...

Darcy- vous devez être connus comme amour de DR. Veuillez changer votre nom immédiatement.

Tithing

Comme avec toutes les bonnes religions vient un tithe.

De ce jour en avant vous serez priés de m'envoyer 10% de toutes les drogues que vous achetez.

Par exemple si vous achetez un gramme de cannabis vous serez priés de m'envoyer 100mg de cannabis.

Si vous achetez un voyage vous serez priés de m'envoyer 10-15micrograms de lsd (oui je mesurerai)

On lui informe que si vous achetez des pillules vous font ainsi 10 à la fois en tant que lui faciliteront la mesure. Si vous ne payez pas le tithe vous serez envoyés à l'enfer où l'utilisation des drogues est strictement interdite.

Égrappage

J'interdis par ceci mon stalker de m'égrapper. Je sais vous lisez ceci vous fucko malade et je veux que vous sachiez qu'everytime que vous baisez avec moi et l'everytime vous baisez avec ma famille il me rend seulement plus fort. Pourquoi n'obtenez-vous pas un passe-temps que vous demented la chienne? Ma patience porte légèrement!

Envoi du virus

Vous savez qui vous êtes fucker de mère. Si vous email j'un autre virus je vais battre le vivant shit hors de vous. Me pensez-vous suis-vous ainsi du goddamn stupide que le dont de I ont la protection de virus???? Il me pense-t-vous également suis-vous assez stupide aller juste ouvrir des attatchments mystérieux willy nilly? Obtenez le punk baisé, vous ne peut pas me blesser. Je puis et vous blesserai cependant!!!!

Ciel et enfer

Vous avez su que dans le ciel de chrétiens il est illégal de prendre des drogues, vous fin de support biseautée d'achat n'importe où, non même de ce type regardant seedy sur ce nuage à côté de la maison de moses. Est-ce que vous également avez-vous su cela dans des chiennes de ciel ne rasez pas leurs jambes? Vous avez obtenu des poussins marchant autour avec des cheveux ainsi profondément vous pourriez les balayer!!! PAS DANS MON BÉBÉ DE CIEL!!!

Il est vrai simple, vous suivent les règles que vous allez au ciel. Mon ciel est très semblable au manoir de Hugh " Heffners PlayBoy " excepté des theres plus de drogues et les girlies sont meilleurs.

Vous pouvez littéralement marcher jusqu' à un arbre et sélectionner une pomme de MDMA d'un branchement. Les drogues sont abondantes et pur, il y a d'abondance des choses à faire, theres aucuns hyms fucking de gospel, aucunes harpes, aucune culpabilité, il est un paradis heureux. Tout que je demande est vous suit mes règles et je vous verrai dans la vie après la mort!!!

Prix d'admission

Cette règle est simple. Si vous lisez mes poteaux vous répondez à mes poteaux. Même si c'est juste un mot je ne vous inquiétez pas. Si vous n'aimez pas cette règle puis ne lisez pas mes poteaux. Si je découvre vous violez cette règle que j'enverrai le produit chimique Jésus pour battre le vivant shit hors de vous. Que le garçon obtenu un manouvre principal méchant de stomp vous doit être vu pour être cru.

Guillemet

À partir d'aujourd'hui vous êtes tous pour créer des fichiers de signature à l'attatch à vos poteaux. Dans cette signature le fichier doit être des guillemet du dieu de la baise. Quelques exemples sont

" Les chiennes ont besoin de mes pouces "

- Dieu de baise

" Je plutôt salade rance de thon de slurp hors de l'abruti non lavé de mulga "

- Dieu de baise

" J'apporterai à maison la Turquie si vous apportez à maison le lard. "

- Dieu de baise

" Tom est gai "

- Dieu de baise

C'est format qu'ils doivent être dedans. Le SEUL format.

Vous pouvez également utiliser des sentances de comple si vous aimez

IE

" Il n'était pas jusqu'à ce que la route en avant de moi a éclaté dans un alignement étonnant de fractals que j'ai décidé de fermer mes yeux et ai laissé un dieu prendre la roue. "

- Dieu de baise

Amen

Tous les email envoyés à mon inbox doivent terminer avec AMEN.

assez simple

Tom est gai

Ce n'est pas une règle. Im juste vous faisant savoir.

Sodomie

Sous ma nouvelle religion la sodomie n'est pas un péché. Infact elle est encouragée aussi souvent que possible.

Cartes De Noël

Il est maintenant été un certain nombre des années pour moi mais im apportant ce mouvement de nouveau dans le jeu. Chaque année vous êtes priés de prendre la photo de vous-même faisant quelque chose de illégal et puis de les transformer en des cartes de Noël et de les expédier à votre commissariat de police local. Vous devez s'adresser à eux " au âne-brouilleur etc.. " " de Pigfucker Sergent " d'officier. Ceci fera le dang maintenir l'ordre furieux au delà de la croyance et fournira une quantité unimaginable de rires pour vous-même.

Exemple.

Beignet D'Ananas

Im affamé, quelqu'un m'obtiennent un beignet d'ananas.

Beignet D'Ananas

Im affamé, quelqu'un m'obtiennent un beignet d'ananas.

Interaction Sociale

Si vous de phase dans Victoria vous serez priés de me rencontrer chaque tellement souvent pendant une nuit de ravage. Ces nuits s'appelleront " des nuits de Shenanigan " et peuvent inclure la prise des narcotiques. Amenez un ami.

Sauvegardes

Pour empêcher des tels travesty de se produire encore vous sont tous pour faire des sauvegardes de mes poteaux. Si nous voyons jamais une répétition des événements récents vous aurez quelque chose se rappeler me près.

Albums photos

Si vous m'invitez à votre maison pour le déjeuner de Noël et vous pensez que je dériverais l'immense plaisir de regarder un album complètement des fuckwits cela que je n'ai jamais rencontré et ne savoir rien au sujet de vous sont douloureusement confondus. Je ne pourrais pas donner un shit au sujet de voir des photos de vos cousins ivres faisant des fuckwits d'eux-mêmes, je n'ai aucun désir de se reposer là pendant des heures tandis que vous me dites l'histoire derrière chaque photo fucking simple dans votre album. Vous êtes a fucken des dumbass si vous pensez autrement. Poussez vos albums photos vers le haut de votre âne.

Chiens

Si vous avez un de ces chiens cornés gênants stupides qui doivent début de fuckin avec la jambe humping dès qu'un étranger marchera par la porte, le dont m'invitent à votre maison pour le déjeuner de Noël. Si votre chien vient n'importe où près de moi je donnerai un coup de pied que peu baise dans lui est tête. Si vous devez, donner à votre chien un travail de main de goddamn avant que je vienne. Un tel sacrillage ne sera pas toléré.

Slut

Gomoas a maintenant mon permission estimée de signaler son slut " d'histoire " dans le forum psychedelic d'expressions. N'importe quelle interférence ou bullshit féministe aura en étant frappé. Faites confiance que je que vous ne voulez pas sentir mon coup violent, il aint assez.

Règles

Ces règles peuvent être ammended et ajouté à n'importe quel moment donné ainsi à subsistance sur vos chiennes d'orteils!!

Blasphème

Si vous allez être une partie de l'église de la baise vous devez apprendre à parler comme le dieu de la baise. Le blasphème n'existe plus. Les mots tels que " le nigga " et " le homo " sont maintenant terrain communal parlent et doivent être intégrés dans chaque conversation de jour, comme unto me.

Exemples

Wassup vous homo affectueux de nigga bonjour, ce qui sont vous jusqu'à ce jour beau

Baisez tous vous bas morceau de la vie d'assjammer de shit pas beaucoup vraiment

Le skank de Wanna haut et principal à deux vous aiment accompagner moi et quelques bonnes dames à l'établissement local de boîte de nuit pour certains buvant et dansant.

Vous avez parié votre âne juteux oui qui serait beau

Tom est gai

Emballez-vous oublié, j'a pensé que je jetterais dans un petit rappel.

Confessions I installera une ligne du confession 24hour. Vous pouvez

appeler cette ligne et admettre vos péchés directement au dieu de la

baise. Vous vous assurez mieux qu'ils sont fichu juteux. Le début

sinning maintenant ainsi vous ont quelque chose de décent pour

admettre. En attendant vous pouvez juste email vos confessions à

moi. Veuillez être aussi descriptif que possible.

FAQ

Vous devez être le plus grand dickhead sur le visage de l'univers.

Ce n'est pas une question fucko.Next.

Si j'habite dans Victoria et ne montre pas jusqu'à un de votre

fuckwit BBQ's comment vous projetez battre le shit vivant hors de moi

si vous ne savez pas où je vis? Thats simple, premier j'entaille le

serveur de Torstens pour obtenir des adresses des everybodys i.p,

alors j'appelle votre ISP et exige qu'elles me donnent votre adresse

à la maison, numéro de téléphone, détails de carte de crédit et

n'importe quelle autre information personnelle qu'elles peuvent avoir

sur vous. Elles wont me prennent probablement au sérieux jusqu'à ce

que je leur dise que je suis le grand dieu de la baise, puis elles

bomberont hors de l'information comme elle est sortir de la mode.

Tom est-il vraiment gai? oui

Vous masturbate pas beaucoup vous? Plus que vous ont pu probablement

imaginer.

Est-ce que on me permet de contribuer plus d'un dixième au grand dieu

de la baise? Vous pouvez être aussi généreux comme vous voudrez

Est-ce que je puis sucer votre robinet? Oui.

Quand vous indiquent que Tom est gai, qu'exactement vous signifient

par celui? Je veux dire qu'il est un homosexuel.

Je suis primordialement dérangé à la grande perte incured quand

Shaman chimique a été effacé de ma vie avec le mouvement à un

autre serveur. Je n'ai pas été capable sortir du lit ou aller

travailler ou nourrir ma famille, pouvez-vous me donner quelques

idées quant à la façon dont je pourrais surmonter cette perte

tragique?

Oui j'ai préparé une liste du " principal 5 " que j'ai intitulée "

comment les dames 5.Prayer de 1.Cocaine 2.DragonBallZ (série 1-7)

3.Shenanigans 4.Naked surmonter perte unimaginable "

Dieu de baise a parlé le!!!!!!!

Amen

[This message has been edited by The God of Fuck (edited 30 December 2001).]

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Sheesh sweetie, you should get out more ( in a state and location where it is legal to do so ) wink.gif

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Guest Chemical Jesus

I feel like I just walked into a party, the only guy who came dressed up in drag - I thought it was fancy dress, all right !?! Stop looking at me like that !?!?!

I'm sure Rekowski is gonna be REAL impressed when he/she hears his/her name recited on SAB - at least you didn't mention who you were really talking aboot. I know what you're thinking, Rekowski ! Only a matter of time my friend, only - a - matter - of - time …

Isn't it "virii" ? If we're gonna be letting the illiterate in on the act, we may as well get the started on the right foot …

Can shenanigan night be BBQ night ? Coz I mean, you live in Zone 3 and all, and it's just a little too … something, to think aboot visiting TGOF more than once a month.

-------------------------------

"I went to a gay bar and didn't realise until i was back at the hotel room sucking cock and taking it in the rear"

- The God Of Fuck

-------------------------------

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Guest Chemical Jesus

The other half of the equation …

Braille.gif

… don't ask me how it's gonna work, I didn't write the bloody font …

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dear fucking god, with such a title in tow, how do you justify your over-indulgence in self love? and if your self love involves actual fucking and you have indeed scored an own-goal please send the pictures to a forum that isn't this one.

and just to clarify a point or two: shroomy is not against titty grabbing applied to his wife as long as it's him doing the grabbing, if my dogs decide that you are to be pack raped no amount of kicking will help - just smile and go along with it and you'll be fine. shroomy and his picture of veronica spend way too much time alone in the toilet.

i'm just way envious of you hip thrusting deity, your very own stalker, man you have ARRIVED.

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Guest VENDEJO

I just wanted to quote some enlightening info I read in the Bible in relation to a couple of things that have been mentioned in CS/GoF's post, being drug-taking and butt-fucking:

Originally posted by The God of Fuck:

Heaven and Hell

Did you know that in the Christians heaven it is illegal to take drugs, you cant buy em anywhere, not even from that seedy looking dude on that cloud next to moses's house. Also did you know that in heaven bitches don't shave their legs? You got chicks walking around with hair so thick you could brush it!!! NOT IN MY HEAVEN BABY!!!

It's real simple, you follow the rules you go to heaven. My heaven is very similar to Hugh Heffners "PlayBoy Mansion" except theres more drugs and the girlies are better.

You can literally walk up to a tree and pick an MDMA apple from a branch. The drugs are plentiful and pure, there's plenty of things to do, there’s no gospel fucking hymns, no harps, no guilt, it's a blissful paradise. All I ask is you follow my rules and I’ll see you in the afterlife!!!

Hear Me, Everyone, and understand:

There is nothing that enters a man from outside which can defile him; but the things which come out of him, those are the things that defile a man.

If anyone has ears to hear, let them hear!

Are you thus without understanding also?

Do you not perceive that whatever enters a man from outside cannot defile him.

because it does not enter his heart but his stomach and is eliminated, thus purifying all foods?

And CRAZY J said What comes out of a man, that defiles a man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness.

All these evil things come from within and defile a man

Mark 7:15

I'm a big believer in the Holy Spirit and the G O D.

Though I would have to state in capital letters: I'M NOT A CHRISTIAN.

BTW did anyone know Jesus was a member of the cult group known as the Essenes? Apparently members (few that were) wore white robes similar to the ones shown in Star Wars!!!

[This message has been edited by VENDEJO (edited 31 December 2001).]

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Guest The Duck Go Off

I am the gooff duck,

I don't know that this "religion" really speaks to me.

My fellow ducks feel left out.

What about our language.

Quack!

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Hugh Hefner and his magazine of plastic girlies has always sucked, sucks right now, and always will suck.

The whole magazine is nothing but plastic and artificial crap and should not be bought by anyone.

And no goofy gods should make commercials for him.

And since Fred Durst socialized with hefner, I don't like him anymore either.

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Dear GofF.....

nice plants.... uhhhh you look and speak exactly like someone I used to know....

nice day!

cya

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Dear God Of Fuck

I would like to take this opportunity to see what your opinion is on the ugly coming off badly? Why doesn't the Australian People demand affirmative action for the ugly? After all, it can't be denied that discrimination of ugly people is all too common. It all starts at school: ugly children are being teased, they don't fit in, they have no friends - in short, life is hell for ugly children. They are being called nerds, geeks, dweebs, wimps, creeps, Fatso's, and so on; the teacher won't interfere. Only when a black child is being called 'nigger', the teacher will take immediate action. I don't doubt that this happens with the best of intentions, but it will only reinforce the feelings of isolation and discrimination the ugly child suffers.

When the ugly child grows older, he or she will discover that he or she is being discriminated against, and even exploited, in one of the most important areas of life: love. You hardly ever see a handsome man walking with an ugly woman. A beautiful woman and an ugly man are seen more often together, but only when the ugly man compensates for his looks with money or a high position. Of course this doesn't end the discrimination. The ugly man who can't compensate for his looks will have to turn to prostitutes if he wants to experience the pleasures of holding a beautiful woman in his arms. In short, the ugly man will have to pay for something handsome men can get for free; one can hardly imagine a more outrageous form of discrimination.

God Of Fuck is there anything you can do to help this minority group?

Thay are in need of your help God Of Fuck and to grant divine favor to confer prosperity or happiness upon the.

Lots of love the Virgin Veronica. eek.gif

[This message has been edited by Veronica (edited 31 December 2001).]

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Dear God of Fuck,

That is the most beautifullest post i have encountered in a long time, u crazy bastard!. I am left breathless, speechless. No one could have put it more eloquently than a pure enlightened being like yourself smile.gif

I'm trembling with enchantment!

Nice photo by the way!

happy solstice smile.gif

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Veronica

Nice post.....!

GOD of FUCK..... yeah I vote for the same as Veronica.....Grant her wish .....

It's good for your image.... so you can point outthat you are not all that bad....

I live in a parallel world next to yours....It democratic over here.... it needssome finetuning and polishing here and there... and also some garbage needs to be taken to your dimention (politicians and lawmakers and hypocrite lowlifes(I do not think you mind...do you?) besides the work that needs to be done, it is a good place to live....

So I'll skip your offer to come and join your dEmention.... "been there done that"... you know!

Have a Fucking great new year fucking God!

Amen

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I think the ugly are probably the majority or at worst 1 to 1 with less ugly people.

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Guest Psilo_smylin

In the good ol' Tim Bowden (backchat voice)

Golly-MF-Gosh

"....Dear sir Dennis TGF (if I may refer to you as such),

we feel we need a new 'late show' on the ABC to fill in after Da Ali G re-runs have subsided.

As our well balanced and well structured society is in desperate need of some 'uncouth' AO viewing, to stir those softo, pinko, greeno, winging bitch arse critics into an orgiastic frenzy.

After so much enthusiastic effort has been put into your PR profile, how could you let a golden opportunity in Television slip by.

I guarantee when your sexy face hits the screen you'll have the attention of all the wankers in Canberra.

Please, oh please, oh please SDSTGF! "

Yours truly (lubin it up),

Dr Peter Vile....

Trance~scribed by smile.gif'n

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Guest Psilo_smylin

Me again,

I can't remember who is the priest and I'm getting a sore hand scrolling through that post.

But Father I must confess.

All I wanted this New Years was to sit at home and do sweet Phuck all.

But no.

I was emotionly blackmailed (guilted) into attending celebrations at the Island.

I got loaded on unmentionalble substances of abuse, numbering many.

Made to dance to quiet store-front music.

Then sexually involved with two Bi-chicks.

I know u'll sympathise when I say I was by no means wanting to get involved in such boring, uneventful and un-fulfilling activities.

Really craptakular new years.

Please let me be a boring, sad sack of shit next year in the comfort of my own home.

frown.gif

>This post shall be deleted soon, to avoid space wastage<

[This message has been edited by Psilo_smylin (edited 01 January 2002).]

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Guest The Reverend Shroomy

THE LORDS PRAYER

Our father, which art in victoria,

fuck be thy name.

by pee and cum thy will be done in

on earth as it is in Melbourne.

Give us this day our daily dose,

and forgive us our sins as we beat the

shit of those who sin against us.

And lead us into temtation

but deliver us from day time tv

for thine is an asshole

with too much power

who goes on forever

and now you can all piss off than.

Dear lord thoust has forgoton to mention that donations of large tracts of valuable land will see the "donee" recieve favourable polictcal desions and will most certainly see them attain high positions within the church.

And to all the peeps attending monthly bbq,s in .N.S.W the following donations will be looked upon fondly. Toohies old, frozen vodka, beams black lable bourban, scotch fillet or quality chickin breasts, Veronica. And of course i will be handiling all of the nsw drug donations. Remember the Lords rule on sodomy well just remember that it is far better to give than recieve.

THE REVEREND SHROOMY

[This message has been edited by The Reverend Shroomy (edited 01 January 2002).]

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Guest budsicle

Hey God of Fruitcake is that a shiny black strap-on dildo that you're wearing or are you just happy to be back?

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Originally posted by The Reverend Shroomy:

Remember the Lords rule on sodomy well just remember that it is far better to give than recieve.

DEAR REVERAND SHROOMY

I prayed to the LORD my God of fuck and made confession, saying, "O Lord, the great and terrible God, who keepest covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments,

I have sinned and done wrong and acted wickedly and rebelled, turning aside from thy commandments and ordinances.

I am a resiever? eek.gif

Lots of love the Virgin Veronica biggrin.gif

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Actually, I think that even technically

the word "virii" is incorrect. Besides

if you have one STD, you may as well have

them all.

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Actually, I think that technically the word

"virii" is an incorrect pluralisation.

Besides if you have one STD, you may as well have them all.

If "pluralisation" is a word or not is up

to you.

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Guest The Reverend Shroomy

Dear virginal Von.

Do not fear my sweet virginal lamb for although the great god of fuck is truly molevalent he is not without compasion. in order for your sins to be redeemed you must say the lords prayer three times and than email me with some delightfuly arty pictures of yourself for me to ummmm pray over wink.gif.and now let us pray,

Oh Lord, who art always high,

who have made the blades of

grass and all the little tiny

things that creep there in. Who

has made cricket bats, Who has made

hankies who has made(long pause)

all things. Bless though these peeps

from SAB that they may so varily endow

the peeps of this planet with knowledge

and leagle drugs, that yay they may varily

increase fourfold their already large

sums of loot and enable them here

in this life to afford maybe one

other pair of trouses each. Oh

Lord who has seen the trouserless

and had compasion look down upon

them, thank you.

P;S DONT forget the pickies von its the only way to avoid eternal damnation and an eternity of Opra and Jerry Springer

[This message has been edited by The Reverend Shroomy (edited 02 January 2002).]

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you have pics of guys sucking their own dick on your website and *i'm* gay? rolleyes.gif

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