The world's most fascist toy?

[nabraxas]

Product Features

• Hello, I'm Wenlock! Don't I look smart in my police officer’s uniform?
  
• I have the important job of protecting you on your journey to the London 2012 Games.
  
• Take this figurine on a journey to the London 2012 Olympic Games – we can have lots of fun together!
  
• Collect all official Olympic Sports Figurines.
  

 

Take it away, anonymous Brits:

Delighted to welcome Wenlock to my family of fascist playthings. He takes pride of place in my replica Guantanamo camp standing atop the search tower alongside My Little Stalin. Oh how we laugh when he and Uncle Joe round up the gypsies, homosexuals and those of a non white persuasion and give them the old spa treatment with the garden hose. Gosh what larks.

And:

The UK knows that giant, unblinking eyes give people a sense of calm and security.

 

Frankly, this [delightful] piece of [loveliness] is the most [amazing] thing I've ever bought. My human rights have been [enriched] on a daily basis since this arrived. Fortunately my wife and kids managed to [temporarily take a holiday] from the house, but when I tried to leave he [cuddled] me so hard I had dizziness and blurred vision for 3 days. He is now forcing me to live on a diet of sponsor approved food which is [delicious] and I've put on [lean athletic muscle mass] so my clothes don't fit. I'm wearing an Adidas Lycra skinsuit whilst I type this. You may not even read this as he's been monitoring and [improving] all of my communications.

And:

Well, I did purchase this item, and I can happily report that it is every bit as sinister as it appears. It is in fact the 21st Century equivalent of the infamous 'Monkey's Paw', that dread talisman that grants wishes at the expense of the owner's happiness. My wish was that [London mayor] Boris Johnson be stuck on a zip wire above Victoria Park.

And:

Imagine my glee when Wenlock came in the post, as my nephew's birthday was the next day... At his birthday party, my nephew opened the present, and put it in the pile of the other toys so he could play with his friends. Unfortunately, we placed Wenlock in front of the refreshments table, and disastrously we had Pepsi instead of Coca-Cola, the official beverage of the games. Wenlock started beeping, and started saying "sponsorship error" over and over again.

And then the lights went out in the village hall. Riot squads starting rappelling through the windows. Pandemonium struck. Tear gas was used on the children, lest they run away and give a bad impression of the Olympics.

And:

[The product tagline] "Hello, I'm Wenlock! Don't I look smart in my police officer's uniform?" is missing the suffix of "as I beat you to death with my truncheon."

I was going to buy this to burn, but the Thinkpol rumbled me and I'm now facing life imprisonment for thought crimes against the state.

And:

This is a very educational product. The bloodless, cyclopean eye of the law stares unblinking from below the steel helm, the lipless mouth unflinching. If you want the little gals'n'guys to learn early (and learn well) about the surveillance state, don't go past little Bobby Wenlock.

Alternatively you could avoid this made-in-China crap like the plague, and get out of the capital for the duration of the corporate shillfest, and drink some red wine with good friends while comparing notes on who to put up against the wall-with-missiles-on-top when the revolution comes.

Finally, some of the criticism is more direct:

What a proud moment for the world of contrived, committee-built, focus-grouped-to-hell major event marketing merchandise.

http://arstechnica.c...st-fascist-toy/

read more reviews:

http://www.amazon.co...nDateDescending

Edited August 31, 2012 by nabraxas

[Alienteaparty]

 

i though this was of some relevance. if not its pretty funny.

Edited August 31, 2012 by Alienteaparty

[goneski]

Wenlock watches you whilst you sleep... and undress.. and shower

[∂an]

the British Government seems to love their Orwellian imagery. That metro poster is incredible, I had to do a google search to convince myself it wasn't a joke. Although I see the merits of events such as the Olympics for celebrating the unilateral human spirit etc, when I see imagery like this it seems to make it clear that governments are using these events to instill a fear based nation state paradigm that they need to remain relevant. People need to stop identifying themselves by the country border that surrounds them and more as a human being. Don't let fear control us.