Why do we people promise things and not honour their promise ?

[Magicdirt]

As I said in the title, why do we promise things and fail to deliver ?

You see it all the time when there is a disaster relief telethon, they always get overwhelmed with pledges of money but when it comes time to cough up the cash they can never get all the money pledged at the time of the appeal.

Many people seem to get a rush of self gratification from making a promise to help, but in reality it is just a lie that gives false hope.

I feel sorry for the victims of these natural disasters too, but I'm not in a financial position to donate so I obstain and just don't make a pledge.

Don't get me wrong if I walk past someone in supermarket taking donations for something I feel is a worthwhile cause I'll chip in anywhere from a few bob to a few bucks, depending on how much I can spare.

On a personal note I've had this happen to me all my life, I help people and they offer something in return (which I didn't expect - the help was gratis) but then they never deliver.

Maybe it's just my karma for this life, who knows ?

I no longer take offence to false promises, nor do I judge someones character by them.

It is almost like the mind of the person making the false promise just "deletes" that promise and goes about things as normal - which I find very intruiging.

If it were me it would eat away at me and I'd be compelled to offer compensation to save face.

As Australia becomes more and more materialistic (Whoever dies with the most stuff wins) it seems to be getting worse all the time.

I've had many Aussies offer me things over the last few years and not deliver, to some of them it is of no consequence and they've "deleted' the pledge, but others seem to have some concious about and choose to stay away, where I'd prefer blunt honesty straight away and to get on as normal ie sorry mate I couldn't xyz

Ironically Americans who have a reputation of being the most superficial materialistic nation on earth have bent over backwards to honour their promises to me and if they can't they try to make ammends - go figure ?

Edited June 5, 2010 by Magicdirt

[Maurice]

US is best! Lived there for some time and the people are the friendliest, most hospitable folks in the world,

unlike here, the "she'll be right mate, fuck you Jack" mentality.

Broken promises, yes so common.

I have been most guilty of such.

I figured for myself, that the initial promise was an over exuberant attempt at kindness,

which later I realized, I could not deliver on, so now I am more cautious.

[Magicdirt]

How do you edit the title of a thread, I got distracted half way through writing this one and it came out a bit retarded ?

[botanika]

As I said in the title, why do we promise things and fail to deliver ?

You see it all the time when there is a disaster relief telethon, they always get overwhelmed with pledges of money but when it comes time to cough up the cash they can never get all the money pledged at the time of the appeal.

Many people seem to get a rush of self gratification from making a promise to help, but in reality it is just a lie that gives false hope.

I feel sorry for the victims of these natural disasters too, but I'm not in a financial position to donate so I obstain and just don't make a pledge.

Don't get me wrong if I walk past someone in supermarket taking donations for something I feel is a worthwhile cause I'll chip in anywhere from a few bob to a few bucks, depending on how much I can spare.

On a personal note I've had this happen to me all my life, I help people and they offer something in return (which I didn't expect - the help was gratis) but then they never deliver.

Maybe it's just my karma for this life, who knows ?

I no longer take offence to false promises, nor do I judge someones character by them.

It is almost like the mind of the person making the false promise just "deletes" that promise and goes about things as normal - which I find very intruiging.

If it were me it would eat away at me and I'd be compelled to offer compensation to save face.

As Australia becomes more and more materialistic (Whoever dies withe most stuff wins) it seems to be getting worse all the time.

I've had many Aussies offer me things over the last few years and not deliver, to some of them it is of no consequence and they've "deleted' the pledge, but others seem to have some concious about and choose to stay away, where I'd prefer blunt honesty straight away and to get on as normal ie sorry mate I couldn't xyz

Ironically Americans who have a reputation of being the most superficial materialistic nation on earth have bent over backwards to honour their promises to me and if they can't they try to make ammends - go figure ?

 

Interesting thread. A friend of mine from LA is currently visiting Sydney and keeps raving about how outwardly friendly and kind everyone in australia is. Sometimes you need to leave a place for a while to truly reveal how good it actually is. American's get knocked for being so outwardly confident, sometimes it is annoying, but australian's are definately guarded at times. Regarding natural disasters, living in china I witnessed an enormous amount of revenue generated for the earthquake relief. It actually became a sort of competition as to which company or individual was donating the most and the news was not full of restoration work but stories of people donating their services. Like australian bushfires when the fire fighters take centre stage in the story and the victims or details of the fire almost seem irrelevent. In china the public ended up emassing billions. People in my office just got into it and seemed to truly care. They weren't going around saying 'what is the government doing about this? They sacrificed some of their pay, lit candles and sent cards. We donated quite a bit in the end and a lot of it was not even money.

I always find it annoying when I spend the time to write to someone I know and they consistently reply 'will write more later, busy now'. Yet years later it is still me that instigates contact and they never take a simple 3 minutes to catch up in an email. I have a whole bunch of american friends, some who I hardly actually ever knew, and they are always writing to me and will have a good ol chat. A lot of my australian friends keep promising they will write me or send me something or pay me back for those t-shirts I sent them, and they never do. But what to do? Loose contact completely? I often feel like I am the glue holding a couple of circles of friends together. Everyone is busy these days, its not an excuse. When people ask me how Im going I say 'good thanks, how are you?' I think that's a big 21st century failed promise. The 'Im busy' statement that selfishly fails to honor simple but valuable friendships.

[No_One]

Many people seem to get a rush of self gratification from making a promise to help, but in reality it is just a lie that gives false hope.

 

Right on, I think its also a form of self-aggrandisement; In the moment the promise is made, and those proceeding, the promiser becomes a sort of hero in the eyes of those around them and the promiser gets off riding this wave of glory - it's deceit at its best, both to others and themselves.

I should say this is only true if you don't know that the promisers word is worth shit.

Peace.

[wood]

I think it might be because when you do someone a significant favour they feel obliged to do something in return (well, non-sociopaths) and perhaps by making a promise to return the favour, they feel like they've already fulfilled their obligation.

Still, there are times when I can completely understand breaking a promise. Had a teacher in highschool who promised his kids he'd take them fishing on the weekend and then his wife died, but he still took them After that he said he didn't make promises anymore... maybe people need to take giving their word on something more seriously.

[Teljkon]

sdfsdf

Edited December 19, 2021 by Teljkon

[Joshie]

A promise is a promise, that is the end of it. I grew up taught that my word was my bond, not that I have always kept it.

An interesting story: the day my brother Josiah was being born my Dad had promised to take myself and my brother Simeon

to the Royal Adelaide Show. Mum was in labour and all Simeon and I could think about was going to the show. Josiah was

born and Dad roared down in the old Galant taking us to the show, no excuses!!! So to me, I believe this is how it should be,

if at all possible one should keep their promises or not make them to begin with. In my Dad's case we would have let him off,

he took that pretty far but for me it is and was a great life lesson. This is what I aspire to and also have come to expect from

people. Sometimes I let myself down but it is good to be honest and to say sorry. I do not believe that anybody has an inherent

right to be forgiven, we can only hope that people will accept our apolgy when we have wronged them. I have noticed that in

Australia alot of people have a real "just get over it" mentality. People often will not acknowledge problems and have become

quite political in day to day interractions. Maybe this is just my experience in the last year, let me know if anyone else is noticing

this attitude in mainstream society. I am a huge fan of the old school way where if you have a grievance with someone you upfront

them and talk, sort it out. I feel that alot of people, these days, would rather let a bad situation ride pretending that it is all good. Even

our language is changing, bad means good, mad the same. We are in a state of stagnance in my circle, family, friends, my whole karmic

group. I hope that this will change.

Shalom.

Joshie.