Insecurity, self consciousness and anxiety

[MindExpansion]

Thanks for all the kind words and sharing of experiences, youd be amazed that even just bringing it up here and reading similar stories from you guys and seeing that when i move on the bus most people probably dont notice and those that do may well be thinking 'damn wish i could just get up and move' (or thats how im going to try to think about it anyway) has made me feel a little more confident and slightly less self conscious.

Have been trying my best to notice more when the self conscious or anxious thoughts creep in and trying to say to myself in my head that they are just manifestations of my insecurity and invalidating them asap and yeh ok im not likely to get up and sing a karaoke (without plenty of liquid courage) but baby steps and again thanks all and those that are still sending the nlp help I appreciate it and look forward to giving it all a read/watch/listen

Keep the stories and tips coming...its helping already

Peace and thanks, love this community and all those within it

[ThunderIdeal]

I think cultivating a high degree of compassion helps to conquer fear and has wonderful healing potential for yourself and others. One of the ways buddhists use to generate Bodhichitta is "The awareness that all sentient beings have been your mother in infinite previous lives". Its sounds a bit strange but removes the sense of 'other' among strangers and brings to life the interconnectedness of all being and concern for the welfare of any living thing.

wow! that's amazing! i'm going to keep that in mind.

this thread has addressed the social anxiety far more than the general insecurity. i think sometimes when your mind is getting all hectic it pays to just step back and let that cacophony of thoughts scatter to the wind and have some peace. bring yourself into the moment because this single moment is the only thing anybody can truly own, it's your only god-given right and getting wrapped up in the material distracts you from it. it's always there and you can feel secure in that knowledge, or you can get overly attached to other matters and progressively forget that the greatest gift is always there for you.

[immanuel]

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Edited April 19, 2010 by mardybum

[paradox]

i can definitely relate to the social anxiety thing, but seriously most people are too worried about whether they look stupid themselves to give a shit about whether you look stupid.

& if they ARE thinking that you look stupid then they're probably pretty sad & shallow. if they have nothing more intelligent to think about then their opinion isn't worth your attention.

anyway we are creating the universe in our minds every moment. we get to decide for ourselves what's 'cool' or whats whatever. it's your life & it's your choice whether you are 'cool' or not.

theres a quote from frank zappa when a fellow musician asks him whether he ever gets nervous that he'll make a mistake when he's playing on stage & he says something like "why should i be nervous it's my song & i'll play it however the fuck i want."

it's also good to get out of your head a bit if you know what i mean. divert your attention away from your thoughts. move your attention into your body & all your physical sensations rather than your thoughts. try to put all your attention into the feeling of all your sensations without mentally labelling everything. just feel.

this helps bring you into the moment & out of the laberinth of your noisey head which is constantly yabbering self defeating fear based shit at you.

[mac]

Yeah thanks MindExpansion if it wasn't for this thread & Hunabs thread i would not have opened up about my own problems

I find it hard to speak to my family about it & yours & Hunabs posts have made me pull my finger out & try to sort my shit out (hopefully im on the right track to helping myself & finding a better doc i can talk with )

[triskele]

Hey Mind Expansion, my (humble) advice is to treat this all as a learning experience. When you come out the other side (and I sense that you will), you will be so much wiser, and so much more understanding and compassionate for it. Your depth of knowledge of the human condition will be, and already is, far greater than the average person who never had to deal with the anxieties you face.

Whilst I have never experienced a social phobia myself, over the last 18 months or so I have been overcome by a kind of anxiousness and depression about other things, like my studies and my future direction in life, and dealing with the paralysis of my perfectionistic nature! What I've come to realise is that all the emotions and anxieties we feel are just different levels of chemicals rushing around in our bodies...and there are many things we can do to control the balance of these chemicals to create a feeling of wellbeing in our general life: For instance, I personally notice that I always feel more energised and positive after a morning run, and I feel anxious and tense in the evenings when I've had too much coffee in the afternoon. This may all seem blatantly obvious, but by starting to become very mindful of the things you do that increase the levels of happy chemicals in your body, and the things you do which increase the anxious or depressive chemicals, you can change your life for the better. By becoming mindful of this, and pushing yourself (or asking for someone to help you to push yourself) into including more of the activities and foods and substances that make you feel good, your well-being will improve. If you treat your actions in your daily life as your medicine, it may help you to feel as if you have more control over your life and your anxieties. That's just something that I've found helpful anyway

Best of luck with it all!

[MindExpansion]

I just wanna give an update, its amazing how much just writing about my issue has helped me, and hearing all the advice and i think most importantly all the common experiences. I've noticed quite an improvement. Its a conscious thing I've noticed that I need to talk myself into it, so getting up to cross the lecture theatre or walk in there late, if a negative thought about doing that in front of al the people comes into my head i tell myself that its craziness and that it doesnt matter anyway. It's been good to get this issue on the road to improving as its one less thing to worry about, I don't know if the thoughts will ever stop arising in the first place but the ability to tune them out is a great start, so thanks all.

Peace

[paradox]

yeah it's just a habit hey. your mind has been trained through repetition to think negative, self conscious, self defeating thoughts. you've just gotta to break the habit & train yourself to take up more productive & healthy mental habits.

perhaps when you have these self conscious thoughts the best thing to do is not make a big deal about it & run yourself down for having these thoughts but just drop it. just everytime a self conscious thought comes into your head you drop it. don't anylize it just drop it. it's amazing when you realize that you actually have a choice, you don't have to think that way! you can think however you damn well please. you just have to consistently work at it & change your habit patterns until it becomes second nature to be positive. it's hard & it takes work but if you stick at it you'll get there.

anyway you seem like a fairly aware & intelligent person & in my experience a lot of very aware & intelligent people are also very sensitive & sometimes have difficulty adapting themselves to this crazy over stimulated society. it takes time & experience to figure out how to deal with it & become centred enough in your self to feel confident to be yourself & do your own thing amongst it all. but man you're so young. so much to experience & learn. you'll be fine bro, as you can see, what you're going through is not unusual whatsoever.