Humans.

[Vertmorpheus]

>mostly jokes, if you like becks, go have another before reading on<

i have noticed this before, having one of those very associative minds that tends to remember faces but not names... maybe something to do with the old blackfella geography too (google jewish geography) but I gotta ask...

why the hell do so many of us look like rellos? why are appearances so correlative (seemingly) to pasttimes, persuasions, positions? why do certain sets of features gravitate towards certain fields?

case in point, plantheads... granted there are many nature boys (n girls) that AREN'T about 6 foot, with darkly highlighted ringletty mops, pronounced brows and classic aussie hybrid coathanger chops... all these serious but sparkly brown eyes, eternal children that got old real fast... the details change but you could I rekcon get a thousand of us together and it'd look like some kinda freakish subspecies, and probably smell like one too. nag champa and sleep deprivation. readily baited with materials such as woodchips, big footpath rubbish and second hand books.

is it a common ancestor? are all aussie plant weirdos (least those I'll call from now on "Homo sapiens subsp. nova-hollandae var. mudpuppet"), myself included, descended from some original settler that spent most of their time humping around the scrub of a new colony eating anything not covered in spikes and smoking anything fragrant? Staring intently at clouds and mountains and ant trails whilst cracking wise about the governer and his rum rationing, or somesuch.

same applies to other fields... anyone in SEQ has had experience (generally between 14 and 19 only) with "homo sapiens subsp. legolandia var "mallrat" ... these finely built creatures, usually female, generally blonde, often spawning in pink new estates to the background music of the home n away theme song... typically end up breeding with homo sapiens subsp. tradesmanii var. boofhead , have 2.2 kids called "lawson" or "dylan", spend 12 hours a weekend driving to the coast and back when they're not out buying border collies to keep on 15sqm blocks. Often seen utilising transport known as "the SS" on the way to "the Club". easily (almost too easily) baited with agents such as "coles myer cards" and "flattery", both females and males of this variety can be prone to aggression in some circumstances, almost infernal ignorance in others. Both states can be remedied temporarily by administration of drugs such as "breezers" "bundy cans" and "disco biscuits". Highly allergic to marijuana, aromatic compounds in general. Derives medical benefits from petrol vapours but develops instant headache on exposure to essential oils.

then there's homo sapiens subsp. menopausia var. jan ... the Jans of the world. 50 plus, devoid of any lingering threat of reproductive capacity, fearing great old age and lack of style they are usually found sporting a combo of short cropped auburn-burgundy hair, suitpants, and those reading glasses that are very long but not very tall... more prevalent in regional areas but you do find satellite population in more built up areas. bitter, cynical and lifelong smokers, they have had no help from anyone yet will usually help others, if only to have something to complain about, repetitively, later in the day. baits include "menthols", "arts and crafts" and "grandkids"

also to be found is HS subsp. dinkus var. markettius... an especially strange variety, only recently stabilised, these organisms are almost always found in mating pairs,the offspring of which is typically canine in appearance, with occasional reprives for ritual occasions such as Trips To Bunnings, Going Fishing or Babyshowers. Often dressed almost identically, in polysynth utility pants, crocs or other adventure footwear (for adventuring around farmers markets and open houses) and a white t shirt, without microscopic analysis or careful questioning males n females can only be readily told apart by sunglass size, which is typically blue-black, ovoid, 30-50mm in diameter on males, up to 90-130mm, retro porno brown and shield shaped on females. Other macrotraits for gender ID include hair extensions, typically found only in the female, and the "scrapestep" gait found only in males. related to but not reliant upon the wearing of flipflops, this is a specialised energy saving stride used for ambulation to video shops, noodle box restaurants and open houses. Of some use in the field of an evening, as it has a distinct "flip-scrapslide-flick" sound that can be easily heard from the footpath even when you can't see it. This species is most readily baited using preferred foods such as "Becks" , "SSRI's", and in more recalcitrant cases

any thoughts? any other varieties we can think of? we should be cataloguing em, no need to discriminate against people for taxonomic inclusion just cos we don't have any leaves, is there.

have a good sunday all

VM

[MindExpansion]

Hehehehehehe well done VM,

Peace

[Micromegas]

very droll. quite a few species left to be discovered though.

[Teotzlcoatl]

You forgot Homo americana var. douchebagium