Datura Seed Give-Away Competition

[Guest Øskorei]

I've got some seeds from what I believe to be Datura wrightii -see pics below- that are being offered. Let's make it a competition, they're always good. Some interesting comps have been run already, and drawing out of a hat is so blase, so how about posting the funniest or dirtiest joke, or even simply a funny-arsed post, and the three that are considered the best (by, errr, me!) will receive a bag of 15 seeds, and the finest of the three will also get as a 5 gram smoking blend of blue lotus, damiana, skullcap & kanna.

Genuine growers only please.

EDITY-BIT: Comp ends 7 days from today !

 

 

 

Edited April 17, 2008 by Øskorei

[Vertmorpheus]

sounds good.

What is the difference between menstrual blood, and sand?

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You can't gargle sand.

VM

[cisumevil]

What is the definition of GROSS?

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Dreaming you are eating cottage cheese and waking up with your grandmother sitting on your face.

[Yeti101]

Whats an emo's favorite chat command?

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/ wrists

[rahli]

Oral sex makes your day but anal sex makes your hole weak.

[Guest Øskorei]

Little Johnny come running home one day yelling "DAD, DAD, DAAAAD".

Father comes out and says "What's wrong Johnny ?

"Dad, I just experienced my first blowjob"

Proud Father pats Johnny on the back and says 'Well Son, you're finally a man", pours two whiskeys, and hands one to his son "This calls for a toast"

"Ah, thanks Dad", replies Johnny as he takes the whiskey. "Something's gotta get this taste out of my mouth"

[alkatrope]

The doctor calls a man and tells him: I have some bad news and some good news, the bad news is that your wife has had an terrible car accident and lost both her hands and legs and will need help with eating and go to the bathroom all her life.

The man: Oh my god! What are the good news?

The doctor: I'm just kidding, she's dead!

[herbologist]

Don't want any seeds, just wanted to tell a joke

When Henry Ford died and went to Heaven, St. Peter greeted him at the Pearly Gates.

After welcoming Ford, St. Peter told him, 'Well you've been a good man, and your invention, the automobile assembly line, changed the world. As a reward, you can ask anyone in Heaven any question you want.'

Ford thought about it and said, 'I want to ask God himself a question.'

St. Peter escorted Henry Ford directly to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.

Ford asked God, 'When you invented woman, what were you thinking?'

God replied, 'What do you mean?'

Well, said Ford, 'You have major design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much front end protrusion.

2. It chatters too much at any speed.

3. Maintenance is extremely high.

4. It constantly needs touching up and refinishing.

5. It is out of commission at least 5-6 days out of every

month.

6. The rear end shakes too much.

7. The headlights are usually too small.

8. And fuel consumption is outrageous, just to name a

few.'

'Hmmmm', replied God, 'hold on a minute.'

God went to the Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few keystrokes, and waited for the results.

In no time the computer printed a report. God read it, turned to Ford and said, 'My invention may be flawed, but according to these statistics, more men are riding my invention than yours.'

Edited April 20, 2008 by salem13

[divinersage]

what does a womans period and a game of cricket have in common?

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When the pads go on, its time for a bat

[Aya]

cisumevil. That is messed up.... You nearly ruined granola for me.

[Guest Øskorei]

This young couple was about to get married and the night

before their wedding day they had a talk. They decided

that the one thing that they never wanted to have a

problem with was initiating sex in their marriage.

To solve that problem they decided to come up with a

"code word" to help break the ice when asking for sex.

While they were trying to think of a word the washing

machine went off balance and the husband says, "I have

an idea, why not use 'washing machine' as the code word?"

So washing machine it was...

A year passed by and one night they were lying in bed

and she was reading and he was watching TV. The husband

rolls over and says, "Honey, Washing machine?", and

she replies, "Honey, not tonight, I've got a huge headache,

I promise we'll do it tomorrow night!"

So he says,

"Alright that's fine, We'll do it tomorrow." They roll

to their respective side of the bed and go to sleep.

However, the wife can't sleep because she's thinking,

gosh we've only been married 1 year so we're still practically

newlyweds maybe I should indulge him. She rolls over

to her husband and whispers, "Honey, are you still awake??",

and he replies, "Yeah, what do you want?". She says,

"Washing Machine?!?!?!?" and he replies, "Forget about

it. It was a small load, I did it by hand."

I just noticed that I posted this on an (almost) anniversary of my Øskorei user registration, so I might also chuck in an established, well-rooted Apricot Brugmansia cutting at random.

Edited April 24, 2008 by Øskorei

[Yeti101]

I hadn't heard that one since I was in primary school!

[Guest Øskorei]

How many years ago ?

[Yeti101]

How many years ago ?

Approximately 18 years ago, though I might have heard it a little later, early high school perhaps. Too much in my teens to have a really accurate memory.

[divinersage]

soooooooooo who won?

*fingers crossed*

[Guest Øskorei]

soooooooooo who won?

*fingers crossed*

Divinersage, did you know that in men's cricket, the hard plastic thing you shove down your pants is called a box protector? In female cricket it's called a 'manhole cover'.

Cisumevil, Vert & Divinersage gets some seeds, please PM me with your details.

[divinersage]

damn im like a year late haha!!!

you learn something everyday !