Pat Uri

Gidday Folk = the Phaemon'sDog here = realised I would be doubling up info messaging to individuals so might as well just post a general to all;- Yeah, here in forum we seem to have a grand tradition of "Paying Forward" presents. A forum member will pass stuff onto me and refuse any payment - insulted if I attempt to. In my turn I will pass stuff onto other members covering costs to honour my patron. And so the chain continues us being generous to the next person in line to thank our benefactor before us - pretty unique and bloody beautiful these days, I think. Hey - presently I'm in debt to Rahli Praise Rahli. In the case of magick there are very severe restrictions on what you should buy or can exchange for money. For example "tarot cards" must be stolen to energise correctly in the tradition of Thoth, Hermes, Mercury, as you will, who "stole the Knowledge of the Gods for Man". You can buy them yourself, but you can't use them, the cards must be "stolen" off you by the intended user. In this way "tarot cards" are never "owned", but "borrowed" and the more times "stolen" the more times empowered. It was funny in the 70's when bookshops realised "tarot cards" were not worth keeping in stock as no-one was going to "buy" them...Magick, like Shamanism, is an amoral religion - the general rules of morality don't apply as they transcend the boundaries of ordinary rules and Reality to a moral structure conformity of their own. Did not God Father Most High "steal" a rib from Adam First Man to create Eve First Woman in Genesis? Yet "stealing" is wrong, but the Divine Act made Woman the greatest possible Divine gift to Man - at that time Perfect, but perfectly lonely? What man can question the morality of the Divine now? Some magick items are "inherited" and the more times passed on in the coven the greater empowered. Things like the "white-hilted-knife" are greatest empowered by the witch making it themselves from "scratch" using virgin materials they have personally found, cultivated or produced themselves - I've known them to personally dig the ore mineral to refine the metal. Sometimes the money itself is the object. Giving a "beggar" five $2 gold coins with two silver 50 cent coins, of a particular mint date year, is the beginning of a powerful and most binding spell. Black brujera must appropriate or scavenge their items - the more rejected and hateful to the original owner who discarded them, the more potent - especially when passed through hands. Enough - being a Queenslander I'm always a bit suss on these Victorians - Google research says they send kids down coal mines, up chimneys, exploit the working class, ride to the capitalist board meetings in top hats on penny-farthings and use heaps of op and coke...So I use Auspost's Delivery Option 2 "Delivery on Payment by Receiver" which means you package it up and take it to your local holy Queensland Post Office to send to their nominated "Mexican" local Post Office - all you need is what is this local Victorian post office address. Thankfully you don't actually need their name or address because your Queensland Post Office will give you a tracking number - you just pm them with the numerological tracking number to trace delivery and they pay the postage when they pick it up at the receiving, not Queensland, Post Office. Works out $15 bucks for the service and then the postage - but they can 'pay it on forward' to the next forum person. Only Auspost get the "filthy money" and all the karma too - ha! ha! Mind you if any Victorians wanna send me in Queensland a few fresh peyote seeds surface mail I can send off packages completely postage paid.....hint...hint... Just digging up the items from Pat Uri's left luggage and besides the aforementioned I've been left with a load of Doreen Virtue "fluffy bunny" books, guides and cards too. Sozz - got to say if she was such a good psychic why was she divorced three times? Then there's some other stuff from Africa, Oceania, America and Australia that don't look so easy to describe...Plenty of stones, minerals and crystals that are easy to describe. OK - my heart is satisfied that is the general - hope who-this-may-concerns have read and I will pass on details to individ's. Any Brisbane bods want in? Just that bit easier -K. Cheers - Phaemon's Dog.

Phaemon'sDog following with great interest this thread! Now in rural Queensland Australia, us rednecked, country bumpkins were so seriously psychologically scarred by the Prickly Pear Plague that we've grown up regarding every cactus since with hatred, suspicion and napalm. In Central Queensland, far CQ, where I'm from, a self confessed, enthusiastic cactus grower has about as much social regard as a convicted child pornographer. I am quite serious! It took years for even Pat Uri to turn his heart around to have a little love for certain cacti. One of his cow poking Brahman Society graziers he was visiting had property with andesitic volcanic intrusions through limestone country creating a unique scree slope of fossil calyx limey gypsum that Pat Uri had soil chemistry analysed as perfect for peyote. When recommended, his mate looked him squarely in the eye and, with unhidden anger, said "Now Pat - this 'peyote' cactus isn't gonna take over my paddocks like that f*cking Prickly Pear is it?". Pat Uri tried to assure him it wouldn't, nor a necessarily bad thing if it did, as Pat knew of a dozen forum volunteers who could come to remove those "carpets of peyote infestation" if it ever occurred. Oh dear God, it would be wonderful - but they haven't spoken since. In CQ, besides Opuntia, somewhat Cactoblastis controlled now, we have Harrisia spp. "coral", "dog's tooth" and "devil's rope" cactus that grows thick enough to bind up the caterpillar tread of a 933! Not a pretty sight. Pat Uri has tried to ride the Queensland Drug Hysteria advising "authorities" Harrisia has ten times the mescaline of Opuntia! - some "prestrike" must be done against the "bikie""druggo""Hell worshippers" but nothing happened. Bit like when Campbell Newman started the rumour about Brisbane Leopard Trees Caesalpinia ferrea having deadly DMT drug because he hated slipping on the seed pods when he was out jogging in his pink leotards - "oh yeah - you can 'trip' on Leopard trees, you know." But enough anecdote - let's get to the point. Moving to Brisbane I loaded up with CQ grown cactus for cultivation and have fought off the wickedest infection since. Its a local hideous disease that liquefies tissue ground up into black sludge overnight. Drying out doesn't work as the infection just scabs up awaiting moist conditions to continue the assault. Its like an oomycetes infection (like anthracnose in mangoes) and travels up through the vascular tissue with the sap. You can amputate well above infected zone, but new infections will come out from vascular where the germs have travelled up into sound, solid tissue. Topical sulphur doesn't help but seems to speed tissue liquefaction into black fart-smelling slime worthy of a zombie horror movie special effects. Only the outer green dermis is left - ok - this makes it a supple leather like material for making into containers, but that's not the point. I've had the infection advance 100mm into sound tissue overnight - in Brisbane's sticky humidity. To save the apex meristems crown - and I have sequentially amputated up to a foot of diseased tissue already, not having much tip left to save - I've gone the "big guns" of strong potassium permanganate solution cauterising black the cut section and the solution penetrating into sound vascular. I paint Condy's onto the "chancre" formed around the aureoles well above the f*cked zone where you wouldn't think compromise could occur. Had some success now with little DonnaAnna cuttings - that's rooting now in coarse sharp sand - its chancre lesions gone benign scab, but still got some worrying mushy spots. Will post a hi-res photo. With larger specimens the "treatment" it getting more destructive than the disease. Have lost kilograms of Saint Peters. I have sent Pat Uri a bag of the "black pus" so he can identify the causative - because it ain't just a superficial infection - I don't have microscopes here to look for invasive mycelium or, worst yet, motile spore germs, to make a real diagnosis. (Least he might be able to tell if the polyphenolic alkaloid is destroyed or actually concentrated in the foul juice.) Yeah - I am worried - all I know is prognosis is very, very poor. Back CQ anywhere you dump old cactus stumps they will flourish into new pups. But I've been "stomping" around Brisbane bush and feral cactus are not a common sight. You see some epiphyte Cereus allied spp. locally in good people gardens but terrestrial other genii are rare. Thanks for reading - hope I haven't been too "me-me-selfish poor me" with your time - promise when I get the good word, Oh Lord, soon come the day!, I'll post in. I honestly say unless you have met this evil, black, wet leprosy of ground cactus you won't believe the horror, destruction, and desperation it causes.s It can ringbark healthy plants in a few days and no quick treatment stops its total onslaught. Peace! PhaemonsDog.

No worries - bung us an address and I can send it "Collection of Cash on Delivery fee and postage costs and payment for the item by receiver" without the payment for item bit, just postage. Or any other delivery option you prefer - e.g. flying broomstick. Just have to double check the "black-hilted-knife" and copper sickle ain't classed as "dangerous goods" and need special packaging, like holy water or something. Cheers, PhaemonsDog. PS - www.sacred-texts.com

P'sDog here - got a copy of Lesser Key of Solomon hardback original pub. you can have for the postage - don't make any sense to me, anymore than why I got it in first place. Got a "black-hilted-knife" - really whacked! - made out of an old bloodstained M16 bayonet from Vietnam that's been carved over by 70's weirdoes - they engrave candles with it or some sh*t. Pack of Crowley's tarot cards and can even dig up an old copper hand sickle... Don't ask me why this dog would be left custodian of such properties - bloody pleased to pass them on to someone who wants them! Something to do with Secret Woman's Business that got gleaned from CQ opportunity shops to get out of public sight. Got copped with Masonic Lodge paraphernalia too - this is hardly appropriate! Why me? - don't know. Happy to get rid of them, really - do me a favour. Like I said - you can have them for the postage - other than that they can stay there! Regards, PhaemonsDog.

Phaemon'sDog - and all Clan Pat Uri - must agree that Pat Uri is the greatest lover of women in modern times...just ask him. On his behalf. we can quote him as saying that the most appreciated and suitable gift to any woman, of any age or acquaintance is:- "Large sums of cash"... ps - followed by shoes.

Shorty - you still here? - I must admire your tenacity! Your apparatus really depends on what you are refining. For a beginner's exercise I can recommend Corymbia citriodora - lemon scented gum - leaves. Stuff a 4L "paint" tin half full of leaves and young tips and cover with water leaving it about a quarter empty for head space. Take about 1 metre of 8mm - 10mm copper tube and bend it into an L shape with one limb 100mm long. Drill a hole in the lid of the tin and insert the short limb sealing it in place with silicone - inside and outside - so-called - mushroom seal - this will be a basic condenser. Seal the tin with the lid, "condenser" pointing away from the fire's radiant heat. Now build a little fire under the tin. As it boils collect the steam condensate that drips from the copper tube into a jar. Doesn't matter than the waters are steaming hot. You'll notice globs of yellow citronella oil floating on top of the jar's collected water. Steam distilled essential oil. If you want to get a bit more "high tech" you can wrap a wet bandage around the long limb condenser end out of a suspended bucket of water so capillary action keeps the bandage wet and the condenser cool. Watch out - steam is f*cking hot. Don't let it boil dry, but you will have to shut off the fire, allow to cool to open the lid and top up the water. Let the tin go dry and you'll rediscover destructive distillation. Always keep the tin with some water. To harvest your oil you can wait until it floats on top of the collection jar and draw it off with a piece of paper - oil sticks to the paper, but not the water; suck it off with a eye dropper; or put the jar in a deepfreeze until the water ices solid and the oil can be poured off. You can use a baster to suck off the lower water layer from collection and after a few recharges of the leaves the oil will be so thick a layer you can decant it off. "Eucalyptus" essential oils have such low vapour pressure and the trees are so rich a source it can really be that easy and primitive. I've seen the oil come off so thick you could use it as lamp oil but it is useful as a repellent for "scabies dreaming", that is, scrub itch mite. You can get even more "sophisticated" with a "thistle funnel" into the tin going near to the bottom to top up water without breaking the assembly for continuous production until the leaves are extracted. "Foaming" can be stopped by adding a few drops of "Infacol" a polysilicone antifoaming agent available from the pharmacist to stop babies farting. Using several small bore copper tubes - known as a heat exchanger bundled condenser - improves yield too. Camphor laurel is another easy one and its oil can be more interesting. Things like Damascus rose petal don't have much oil - but their watery distillate is fine as is, as "rose water". "Mint water", "lavender water", "orange flower water" and "orange peel water" are just as good fresh from the 'still - as their essential oils have high vapour pressure and potent without further concentration. It gets tricky when you go for essential oils that have low vapour pressure - then you start to need "steam superheaters" and "steam injectors" but I'll mention them later. You might wanna look at water jacketed condensers and other super efficient condensers before you go to those. There's a principle in engineering we call Carnot's Efficiency where the efficiency of a still depends on how hot the input is (steam) and how cold the output is (the waters) - but that'll come later. Others are trickier because they have properties that lock them into the water phase. Free base alkaloids will never steam distil from an acidic solution but come out in abundance from an alkali solution - then you WILL need antifoaming agents. Some free bases are heat sensitive like nicotine and need azeotropic steam distillation or like khat need functional group protection to come over - but start at simple basics for easy success until you have confidence to go for the great stuff. I thoroughly recommend you design off fire heating - it takes a lot of electrical energy to turn water into steam and you'll be needing loads. Plus cheap, flexible fuel fires gives you byproducts of ash, bio-charcoal, etc. and steam is quite safe around fires - electricity and water don't mix - well they do, but you don't wanna know about it. Notice you have some big forum members posting in to help you out - so you'll see far standing on the shoulders of such giants. Steam can even run venturi vacuum pumps...haven't I seen your face before?... Looking forward to more of your efforts! Phaemon'sDog with Scabies. (Postscript - Sorry there Mountain Goat - just reread the thread and made the mistake of thinking Shorty was OP. If I knew it was you I would have written something useful. p'sDog - what'can'i'say? when you are right 99.99% of the time you are wrong 00.01% of the time)

gidday Twist. P'sDog with a couple of points - leaf stripping is to remove the "stalk" which is the midrib - if the leaf moulds it will always start at the butt of the "stalk". This is why it is tied into hands with the butts facing out of the bales - to inspect for the first sign of "house burn" mould. South American tobaccos N.tabacum var. brasiliensis and var. havanensis subspecies have the phenotype of an acute angle to the stem - as the leaf ripens it "droops" to more normal. All other subspecies have the leaf perpendicular to the stem and may "droop" about 10 degrees on ripening - but this is not to be used to "prove" ripening. The Native American most certainly did store great quantities of tobacco to age to use as trade items for years. Observers of the Tionontati commented on how they built studier "houses" for their tobacco to live in than they did for themselves. Traditionally tobacco was never used in the same year it was grown or even the next, very unlike the modern practise where they can't spray it with hormones, flue it, pulp it into RTS strips fast enough. Cheers pal! P'sDog.

Phaemon'sDog with the goods on the Theobroma. Seems about four species can be used for cocoa "chocolate" - the cultivated T.cacao and the wild ones T.grandiflorum, T.bicolour and T.speciosum. Cause T.cacao has been long time cultivated its breeds have become "soft", fast growing and easy to process. Bit too soft though - falls over in strong winds or waterlogged soil. Harvesting the bark - which produces the most ash - would open it to infection and kill it. The wild ones are slow growing, harder and not so commercially "valuable". T.bicolor is the hardest, strongest and best ash producer. It has the woodiest fruits best suited to hollowing out as snuff boxes. The others too soft and pulpy and T.cacao mushy and useless as it splits apart easily. "Chocolate" flavour is one of the choice sauces for casing tobacco as they share a couple of aldehydes in their perfume. Casing is to make an inferior tobacco look, smell and taste better and abhorred by connoisseurs. Cheap cigars often smell more like chocolate than tobacco. An "honest" sauce would be sugar molasses + glycerine + water and an "adulterous" sauce would be sugar + cocoa + glycerine + liquorice + coumarin + vanilla + coffee + saccharine + mapeline syrup, but the liberties and skulduggery don't end there I can tell you. You can buy an atrocity known as non-tobacco, nicotine-less "cigarettes" made of T.cacao product - you can hump a rubber woman for sex, too. We used to have "More" in Australia also from overseas "Hillbury", "Vessel" and "Orion" (I think) - you'll have to import them and f*ck knows what Customs will make of them - oh dear, cigarettes that have no tobacco! we didn't think of that! better charge them $100 a packet just in case - can't have them think we are idiots that are making it up as we go along. I see T.cacao cultivation is going on in the Gold Coast Hinterland - a bit of research might get you some offcuts - imagine the look on their faces when you tell them you are going to the trouble to source it because you want to burn it to ashes. Yeah chocolate has long been used to spice up tobacco - use the Lindt product with high content - all the rest is Western style sugar/condensed milk with little real content, in fact a lot of it is artificial. I don't know if "Chocolate" is an official substance like "beef" etc. - Mcdonalds know what I mean by that. Cheers! P'sDog.

PhaemonsDog again - should mention that groups like Santo Daime are devoted to moral practises. So the good guys are out there. The Original American Native People didn't even have a word for "sin" until the Christian missionaries introduced the concept - you can't have "redemption" without a sense of "sin" it seems. For them things like torturing an enemy, "headhunting" etc. was quite honourable. So a lot of their original Gods seemed to be into a lot of "ungodly" habits and had all the vices of humans too. Even the Creator Father would occasionally make deformed babies when he was on the piss - so deformed people were especially sacred. Seems that the Perfect get it wrong occasionally too and the Great Father must be a little partial to wine. Still is according to the Catholics. Having Gods that understood sin is probably why those old religions never vanished. You can hardly go to your Catholic Priest for advice after getting your girlfriend pregnant...that is when you consult the Obeah of your ancestors. Religion is too heavy a trip - I'll stick to the simpler ones of Nature for me. Regards. P'sDog.

P's Dog here - I LOVE you all for this forum thread - yep! this has got closer, deeper through the skin of the matter than ever before in human terms! We will never actually speak and make in words what is truly a spiritual abstraction:- esteemed Elder Sartre attempted by saying that the meaning of life was to experience its phenomena and then to actualise it by asking "what is this, my existence?". The 'meaning of life' is that itself - the condition where you can ask that question. Enough of that - let's get solid, for a little while, at this point. I have read through and LOVE you all - be it known that mathematically we understand now that "bounded chaotic intermixing causes strange stability". Bless you all for your freedom speaking and bless our SAB forum here for being the bounded set of our individual subset chaos. Yeah it is heavy reading - like analysing the scintillation events of a mass of heavy nuclear isotope during critical event - but dear God it is wonderful - my absolute privilege to witness, if it doesn't annihilate me for observing. Really what other forum has this? None! But being PhaemonsDog I must chuck in the mathematical chaotic "strange attractor" - the Palladium into the core - here goes:- The Three Commandments of Shamanism:- - 1. Do not steal; - 2. Do not tell lies; - 3. Do not be lazy. As you can see it is largely an amoral Religion - there is no right or wrong, legal or illegal, good or bad. No severe restrictions on "murder", "adultery", "rape" and "pillage" per se. or "breach of contract". Can you "trust" them...ummmm....not for me to answer - ask them. Sozz - I am taking a lot of liberty here - does one only not only hurt the ones you love? Love and Peace. P'sDog - please keep up the debate.

Nee How! From Dhong Ki Wang Ghost Doctor with Scabies to Clan Pat Uri. Esteemed Fenris please forgive I am unsure of your enquiry - I do not understand if you desire more information about Punica pomegranate - a most noble herb for shaman use; weight-loss, a considerable subject within itself; or herbs that are used to treat diabetes. I am your servant for such information to be the treasure of us all here in forum. Nature has provided us with ready supply of Madagascar Periwinkle C​atharanthus roseus ​as abundant as the blessings of Heaven for the emergency treatment of diabetes. A tea of twenty leaves will stabilize a sufferer for a day until proper medical attention can be obtained. This matter has been well testified in literature if it pleases you to confirm my suggestion. I pray that this should always be remembered to prevent death by the wise doctor of herbs. I trust you do not find my affirmation too bold in such recommendation for the diabetes crisis is a very serious, if not very obvious, concern. Please feel free to resolve your intent for my understanding as a kindness to this, your servant.号汪驴 Regards of Clan Pat Uri

PhaemonsDog here - what's the good word, InnerPathsToOuterSpace? "King Sun travels with the Scorpion" and "Orion Hunts at Night" - for readers who aren't astrologically literate that means it is earliest summer here in Australia - you should be getting a few new sprouts now? Come on tell us - this is better than Miley Cyrus wears a bikini, surely. P'sDog

PhaemonsDog here! With a big ah-ah-chooo! to all. Quite a few mixed points here:- Green nunu - that is unusual. By green you mean it is literally green? That's a serious fault in tobacco curing. It means that while the leaf was just picked - and not ripe enough to be picked - still had active chlorophyll - then it was hit with dry heat killing the enzymes and fixing the colour and the chemistry. Happens when stuff meant to be fire or flue cured, which are picked green, is left out in very hot sunlight, on hot rocks or roof tin and dries green. The green colour is permanent and won't "run" with aging. Sometimes this is done on purpose to make candela cigar "fancy" wrappers a feature of late Sixties Dixie and Florida cigars. (You can't watch an American Western movie without Pat Uri giving a live commentary on the anachronisms, mistakes, errors, etc. they make in period costumes, weapon models, farm implements, bloody horse and cattle details, etc. etc. and, especially, tobacco. e.g. John Wayne always smoking Marlboro decades before cigarette tobacco was invented. Spotting candela in the wrong period or location another.) Candela is from distinct "new" hybrids Georgia-Florida Shade Wrapper out of Round Tip X Big Cuban to Dixie L-4, No.63, Florida 15 and C74. Please don't ask for anymore information Pat Uri will go on for days about it. I only mention it because this was when blue mould infection threatened world tobacco production and they bred Australian native Nicotiana debneyi into the successive tabacum lines for resistance saving the industry for capitalism. One of the only times it was acknowledged Australia had native tobaccos other than the all embracing term Australia's Nicotiana suaveolens. No.63 is most favoured for candela wrappers as it stays "tender" after fixing. To fix green colour - and growers of all herbs might like to prick their ears up on this - the leaf is flue dried to a final of 60 degrees centigrade over 3 days raising the temperature half a degree per hour. Then heat stopped and humidity let in until conditioned back. As I said it is only done with wrapper, never filler, binder or any other sort of tobacco as the product is still very susceptible to Lasioderma infection. Perhaps someone is hoping the ash addition to green nunu will prevent spoilage. Fraid I won't know which cacao ash is used - Pat Uri might - he got "family" in Venezuela - the dirty old man! Certainly the Matse's People haven't allowed contact with the outside until only recently, but obviously Pat Uri seems to get on with anyone. But I do recall one very mysterious thing he once said with a cheeky grin that theobroma sounds awfully close to theiodora - tee! hee! hee! Shaman do like their puns and word puzzles - but he might explain himself yet. Personally I suppose at a pinch you could incinerate cacao nibs for their ash - potash is potash, but calcium sulfate content may vary a bit. Such conditioners are pretty necessary if you are gonna keep snuff free flowing in humid conditions. Making cigarettes into snuff is a sad story really. I only did it because I had to and only mentioned it to point out how much nicotine is destroyed by smoking. When I could have smoked a packet I found snuffing two was enough. Cigarette tobacco isn't real tobacco so nothing you can add changes anything. I just left a couple on the dashboard and when dry powdered it in my fingers - and got no nicotine rush, just fluoro yellow snot. It was an emergency. The only real tobacco commercially available is Log Cabin made by who else but Imperial. Its sauced to the max so requires no addition. It makes a real snus however. 10% by weight sodium bicarbonate is boiled with minimum water - microwave will do - so sodium carbonate is formed. Pour it hot onto the Log Cabin seal and keep warm by wrapping it in a towel. Overnight it cools and by morning has the smell and punch of good snus. It should just be moist like good potting mix. At $60 for a week or two supply again it is an emergency technique. Yeah - I always find using rustica for a few days leads to minimum sleep and the most incredible lucid dreaming. The dreams are complex but quite connected stories, the colours bland and the figures shadowy but very real at the time. Oddly I often dream I am listening to music - not just melodies but complete worked compositions, full chord structures and orchestrations, with rudimentary lyrics, as if a new album. Sometimes new electrica - but last night dreamt two students had discovered a forgotten record in my collection of Japanese folk music they played for me and wanted to write an assignment about featuring a couple of the songs. The dream is so real and easily recalled, I write the music down and search the internet to see if I can find it amazed that it isn't some sort of memory. But just like the Icaros or "peyote songs" they always turn out to be original compositions from my subconscious - to be secular about it. Usually it takes me days to come up with original stuff in my awake state, and I use the usual formulas known to musicians to squeeze out a song - I'm not that creative. It really is amazing! How do you folks go? OK and bye. PhaemonsDog.

Nee How! DongKee Wang to bring your attention to a very useful paper on this subject:- http://www.academia.edu/10126755/A_Deep_History_of_Tobacco_in_Lowland_South_America ​ I trust you will find it as valuable as myself. Regards.

AllSaints Day now - this is HUGE amongst the Clan - the only day where reluctantly Catholic educated Pat Uri was allowed to publically worship the bones of his ancestors. So let us respect C Q tribe ancestor "Sunrise Dreaming" - in skin name - today for his word be spoken, his songs sung, his children remember and cry, as I, Phaemon's Dog, in forum name, carry on his piturii tradition to us all. With deep respect I sing 'pat-uri-pat-uri-pat-uri-bi-al-lee-pat-uri' and now it is said. Thank you folk for reading so far and encouraging the story of the Spirit of Tobacco and where it has walked. Now we are up to when the English Jamestown settlement - imperialist invasion - occurred. When the white invaders appeared in their sailing ships within the harbour it absolutely terrified the American Natives. Princess Pocahontas would have only been a teenager at the time but she realised she, as the only legal, legitimate representative of America at the time, must meet with the alien strangers and work out what they were about. Her father, the King Powhatan, was away in Mohawk Nation and the terrible, fearful job was left to her on the people's behalf. How very brave she must have been! How incredibly noble and praiseworthy her efforts - as she had no knowledge of whether they would kill her on the spot, it was for her people she represented that she acted. These English "explorers" recorded that this slight young girl paraded ceremoniously down to them, confidently, at the head an entourage of fearsomely armed and muscular bodyguards, attended by handsomely dressed maids but she was as "naked as Eve, yet still with all of the regal bearing of a noble European Queen in court". Illustrators of their reports depicted Pocahontas in the tabloids as coming down all rudey-nudey and naked amongst her people to parley with the English. That is absolute crap! There is no way an Iroquois royal princess would present herself to strangers like a thousand dollar hired stripper would for paid appearance at a boy-only-stag-party! How stupid could you be? Most likely she presented herself in an elaborate outfit made of bunches of the finest tobacco leaves, and not the least bit nude. Like Queen Eve she was dressed in leaves, but not a single fig leaf, more like a full gown of hundreds of full, silky, soft, golden, cured, shining rustica leaves giving her the perfume and appearance of a gold gilted angel of highest bearing. But to the foreigners she was just wearing cheap 'leaves' when everyone else was wearing hide clothes. If fact she was dressed in the greatest luxurious material befitting her rank that her people knew - fitted in the essence of the Great Spirit. Highest quality aged tobacco leaf is like that:- delicate but tough, softer than chamois, shiner and more golden than polished silk, lighter than feathers and perfumed above rose petal. By way of peace she offered the strangers bunches of tobacco leaf and kept them calm until her father could deal with them. In time she became an important diplomat for her people abroad - but too late, the propaganda set, their media reporting it was as if the American Natives invited rape. Nothing could have been further from the truth. Enough for now. Honour your ancestors today good people. Blessings P'sDog.

Righto - P'sDog here with a bit more on the fine art of snuff. Way back in the time of Princess Pocahontas the old tobacco was considered the new expensive "miracle" drug made by mystical, wise ancients, far, far away, endorsed by royal physicians and generally sold to the rich gullible trendies. Now every drug has a time when it starts off hailed as a new wonder by popular "doctors" and supplied to the filthy rich for their parties, recreation and vague medical conditions. It becomes a status symbol amongst the trendy upper classes who openly flaunt it. Then the drug filters down to the middle classes who always want to ape what the upper classes do. Demand makes a profitable dark market and the quality drops, but the price soars, as the middle classes start to peddle it to the lower classes to finance their lifestyle. The upper classes notice that what was once their exclusive fashionable privilege has now become common and available even amongst the poor - no longer glorious and prestigious - and demand something be done about it. So now the law, politicians and doctors begin the campaign to demonise the drug, persecute its use amongst the poor with ever escalating draconian punishments, scapegoat it as THE cause of criminality, moral decay, disease, poverty, etc. and generally make it expensive, daring and exclusive. This doesn't bother the rich who can either pay doctors, lawyers or their butlers to keep supplying it to their parties, or holiday to a foreign country where it is available or can hire the poor to take the risk for them. Every drug near without exception goes over this sociological rollercoaster - a time when it is a darling to a time where it is a demon - opium, cocaine, barbiturates, benzodiazepines, AM2201, MDMA, gunja, Xanax - some like cannabis and tobacco are so ancient they'll even do the tour twice - and alcohol got the perpetual season pass! And every generation will come up with a "new" variation of this very old and perfectly predictable phenomena. Notable exceptions are the "sacred" psychedelics that are not at all fun to take if you don't have a strong moral compass, sense of ego strength and well developed psychological defence mechanisms - the "pleasant unpleasantness" as Aldous Huxley called it - they are not party drugs. Oh - they are still illegal, because they're drugs and drugs are bad and the government owns your consciousness and body and the popular myth is they "get you high" a or they are "addictive". But getting back to the time when tobacco snuff was the 'rich businessman lunch time high' and prerogative of the upper classes:- Smoking hadn't become popular at this time because tobacco was supplied by the original Native Americans. Colonists hadn't started to grow much to trade, they weren't good at it and the natives were very protective of it. Later on John Rolfe smuggled out tabacum seeds from Spanish controlled Trinidad - under pain of death - and grew a crappy crop that the Iroquois laughed at. The Iroquois had one of their nations, "Tobacco Nation" that exclusively grew it for them. If they caught the colonists growing their strains they would have killed them. Johnny Rolfe realised he could sell his crap to England because they wouldn't know the difference and it was so weak and so poor in quality it was only fit to be smoked anyway - a new novelty. Hear that folks? "Virginia" smoking tobacco is actually the chaff grade that usually compost. Smoking is a faddish way to trick drunken fools into wasting enormous quantities and encourage the "lung" habit of compulsive use - much like "ice" methamphetamine is today. The "good" stuff - snuff - came from the Portuguese and Spanish that the English elite bought and used regardless of the fact they were actually at war with them and were financing arms deals against their own people - much like cocaine is today - and pretty much same cult status. Snuff was the rich man's upper of the day and used at parties, business meetings, social gatherings, brothels, etc. with elaborate showy rituals. We actually get a few cultural expressions from that time - "we'll see if he is up to snuff" meaning if he is smart, awake, intellectual, stimulated like he is high on snuff; "we'll try his snuff" meaning if he has the right connections for lucrative business deals; "good as snuff, but not as dusty" clever enough to get away with dodgy, shady business; "he could sell used snuff" excellent, if immoral, at marketing; "snuff is good at a funeral so long as there's no haggling over the snuffbox", redundancies, "restructuring" or asset stripping can still be an escape plan if done with fake regret, because using snuff makes your eyes water in crocodile tears and gives you the snuffles; and the all time classic "a deal not to be sneezed at" you could signal your contempt at a deal by sneezing and pretending it was the snuff. Oddly that last one persists to this day - Pat Uri knows a Chief Accountant of Local Government whose favourite way of ignoring criticism or anything else he doesn't want to listen to, is by feigning a sneeze that sounds like "bull-sheeeeeet!" in your face. He must have learnt it somewhere as he hasn't the intelligence to come up with it himself - his appointment has turned a once wealthy shire into a $7,000,000,000 debt and thinks nothing of it - now that's "bull-sheeeeet!" The ritual required the best snuff you could get your hands on and the most expensive snuffbox. The latter are collector items to this day - scour the markets for them - the Chinese still grind beautiful snuff bottles out of jade and other single crystals and because they are donated to local temples can be picked up cheaply if you do the research. They have great investment value. Most snuff boxes have one polished side to use as a mirror to double check you haven't a snuff moustache. You'll need a foppish handkerchief printed or tie-dyed an intricate black and brown pattern to blow your nose into and delicately dab your nose. Tuck it in your left sleeve - the handkerchief originally came into fashion with snuff use. Snuff comes in every colour to match your skin complexion - from Caucasian "white" snuffs, through to "black" snuffs to match the velvet worn by royals. Snuffing will cause you to walk with "your nose in the air" so the drip goes down your throat - very fashionable. The upper class always kept the heavily perfumed snuffs to sniff pinches when "a horse walked by" or in the presence of an unwashed commoner. Judges would use it as a signal that they thought "evidence was 'on the nose'" - there is a lot of non-verbal communication that went on with the snuff rituals. Certainly nothing is better for handling a smelly job than a snoz full of snuff. Its use was for the refined gentleman and smoking for the dirty, foul breathed commoner. I actually like snuff when reclining with the laptop or putting my head back driving a car. Look up Wikipedia for the "anatomical snuffbox" on the back of your hand. Here snuff is placed to make a show out of your taking a little snuff when making yourself the centre of attention. I've seen Pat Uri absolutely astound the audience when leisurely doing it this way in a formal police interview - the look on their faces! Pat had a run in with Site Management over his snuff use because they couldn't help but associate it with drugs - they were allowed to smoke, why couldn't he snuff? it was discrimination - they could drug test him, and themselves, unless they had something to hide. That was what they were worried about - he'd cause them all to get tested and only he would pass...and they didn't think that fair! (Oh they hate his guts - because he hates them, and all capitalists, annoys them and doesn't hide his contempt of them and love for the workers - you want his respect, you have to work for it.) You'll notice people who abuse other sorts of sniffable drugs can't stand watching you snuff without wanting a go themselves. This is where they betray their naughty habits because instead of taking a short, smart sniff to get it in their nose, they take a huge sinus crippling full inhalation to get it up their nose as high as possible. And tobacco ain't coke or speed, like they might be used to, it doesn't numb or shrink the mucous membrane, it wildly activates the nerves like hot pepper and stimulates the sinuses to full charge. They sneeze and cough and run around like horses that have inhaled a bee! Beginners beware you take it very easy first few weeks - use it only when you have nicotine withdrawals in tiny amounts. It will be some time before you have hardened up your nasal passages and can really indulge. Same when you haven't had it for a while. Then you kind of miss the sneeze and the burn - but then things like yopo will go down very easy and comfortably. Just remember how long it takes a smoker to get used to not coughing. Oddly you never lose your sense of smell snuffing - that only happens with smoking. I see the bods like their toasts and other fine grinds like the American Scotchs. Until beginners have mastered the breathing technique you might want to stick to the coarse German schmalzler which are impossible to over sniff and get down your throat or lungs. They are bloody good value too - at $8 for 100g and absolutely delicious from the fruity Brasils to the smokey Perlereuter and even one-man factory handmade Sterneker. In Bavaria snuff is quite common - they even have festivals - and I understand there would be public outrage if their government ever attempted to overtax their products. Oh - and no incidence of throat or mouth cancer. Dr Poschl was a German throat specialist who first linked cancer to tobacco smoking and founded his own snuff company to serve the people. The breathing technique is to completely fill the lungs with air before you sniff so only a tiny sniff is possible. Another is to balance a pile on the tip of your thumb and press it to the nostril to make a seal. Sniff, but do not break the seal - somehow it gets in, but not too far. The old nunu, eh? Be very careful saying that to a Bengali person because nunu has a very different meaning over there! Oh yes indeed! Offering a sniff of your nunu might get your face punched. Well folks this has been a long speel from the Dog - hope I haven't bored you with these rustica ravings. Looks like a sleepless Halloween for me - yee! hah! Bye 4 now! P'sDog. Oh PS - if you do cop a snuff headache Panadol works very well - the only time it ever does! And a snuff bullet is a good investment for discrete use in public etc. and they even sell models that glow in the dark!

Blessings to all! PhaemonsDog here enjoying my latest delivery that arrived this morning free of import duty. (If there is a custom agent out there letting slip the fact snuff is not "smoking tobacco" then Most High bless you and get in touch for a gift of appreciation.) Respect Katu and Respect Nibbana - looks like we are kicking off the official shaman-australis master thread to ethno snuff! (Now if any of you bods need snuff to tide you through the droughts of customs irregularities do pm me for a few grams - I know what it is like, waiting 3 weeks for supply only to cop a duty notice and then 4 weeks until you get the goods. Don't freak out and buy a packet of cigarettes in frustration - brother Dog will sort you out! Who says tobacco is an antisocial habit?) Pat Uri has commented "tobacco grows faster than Australian Customs can process the orders" which might not be a suggestion to grow some yourselves as emergency backup and to really understand the plants complexity, but there is something there anyway. So new folk readers taking finely powdered tobacco dust up into the nose is the traditional people's way practised for millennia. The head is most sacred and the nostrils revered to the Gods. Old Jamaican saying "what is in my mouth (face) is not mine, but what is in my stomach is mine". Smoking tobacco destroys most of the goodies and pollutes the lungs. When short of snuff I myself have been forced to make it out of cigarettes rather than be forced back to the smoking habit. Two cigarettes as snuff is enough nicotine to get me through a day when in dire need. So snuffing is the most economical way to use tobacco and how to use the least amount possible - smoking is the most expensive way to use it, less satisfying and the most harming. The smoker can never get the true pleasure of tobacco - the stimulation, thought focussing, insightfulness etc. it offers. The alkaloid is destroyed and too much toxin delivered to the body in deep inhalation of the smoke. Carbon monoxide etc. dulls the reward and poisonous carcinogens are made and ingested. Smokers never say "that was a lovely cigarette - I enjoyed that"- they only stave off withdrawal symptoms and buy more cigarettes chasing an elusive lift they will never get again. Their lungs are filled with crap, their throats scalded, immunity destroyed, drown in their own mucus and their pockets emptied. Only the finest tobaccos are used in snuff delivering the nicotine profile that no smoking can ever give and nowhere near as profitable to the merchants that supply it. But now - if you are going to use snuff you must start very, very slightly. Your nose, like any other orifice you are going to start to abuse, will require some conditioning at first regardless of how pleasurable it may seem initially....That was how Pat Uri said it - not me! It will take a few weeks of use to get used to it so take it slowly. Get yourself a good beginner's snuff like Poschl Ozona range e.g. Apricot, Raspberry or President. Go without smoking for about 18 hours so you are really hanging out for nicotine and then lightly sniff about a match head up each nostril. You will sneeze your head off, but that's OK. If your nose fills with snot blow it out and wait ten minutes and go again. If again it fills with snot blow it out and try again. Usually next time your nose becomes dry, breathing becomes very easy and you start to feel relief from the need to smoke in a surge of energy that illuminates your whole being. One of Pat Uri's mates was visiting us from Peru and he said "Buena yayo usted debe sentirse de su pene" which I think he would mean that good tobacco snuff you should feel from your very bowels - or something similar in comparison to that. OK - dinner time for me folks. Catch you again. P'sDog.

Phaemon'sDog with others of Clan Pat Uri HATE lies, misinformation and drug hysteria where it is grossly inaccurate and leads to people getting reamed for no medical, scientific or ethnobotanical reason. Fact is its the popular "bullsh*t" spouted by ignorant "authorities" that forces new folk to have to self experiment to find the truth, at their peril. One case is cannabis that for decades "authorities" have told us causes "addiction", "cancer", "insanity", "memory loss", "paranoid schizophrenia", "hopelessly unemployment", "men will grow tits", "girls sluts", "anarchy", "God's wraith" etc. so when kids try it - as they will - they think if "authorities" were wrong about cannabis, maybe they are wrong about the other drugs and these are worth a try too... Man, the amount of young kids who front up in Emergency hospitalisation poisoned on alcohol because they thought it just made you "feel good" - maybe their drink was spiked with "drugs" - confounds belief! But now suddenly cannabis is safe enough to give young children! Ok - that's the example here is the case:- Khat Cathus edulis is f.a. as a dangerous drug of addiction - even as a drug at all! My guinea pig "Bronwyn" escaped into Pat's greenhouse once and eat 10 times her body weight in khat until caught - loved it! and nothing happened, well not to her anyway...when Pat Uri caught up with MY arse it was different. There is not a single report of a westerner getting the slightest buzz off chewing khat - all reports write they were disappointed and would have got better value off a cup of coffee. This is the first hand truth - khat chewing does very, very little if at all - you certainly won't miss any sleep over it - a cigar, coffee or Zoloft tablet is more potent. Dead set! No bullsh*t! Yet good knowledgeable forum folk word up on the following:- Man Charged Over Khat Drug Find in Brisbane's South http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/man-charged-over-khat-drug-find-in-brisbanes-south-20150315-144k18.html http://whlt.com/2015/10/13/local-investigators-concerned-about-foreign-drug/ Saying what little khat has of cathinone is like methamphetamine be like saying a panadeine tablet is an overdose of heroin. And I ain't a chemist. Can you believe such medieval witch burning still goes on in informed modern times? Is it not too late to tell the truth that the only thing that makes khat a drug is ignorant hearsay, authorities are misinformed and, well, racist - its not the khat they should hate - its just the scapegoat - its the anger of ethnic minorities that are given no platform to speak from and no one to listen? Let us keep it real people. Regards, PhaemonsDog

P'sDog says good on you Glaukus for pushing out a motion from the upper house onto the enquiry floor!

"It's the law" is as final as death - you can stand in court with all the witnesses in the world and the scientific evidence you like it won't make a bit of difference - prosecution don't even have to have to have evidence. Everything Saddam Hussein, Sobalan Malosovich and George Bush Jnr. did was the "law" at the time and legal - outrageous, immoral, unfair, but the law of their land and the bureaucrats did it like the filthy whores they are. The law is a funny thing. One example that comes to mind was the synthetic "cannabis" - all the while there was no law against it the miners were openly smoking it on site to pass away their $70/hr to do nothing but be there, and you couldn't believe who was getting into it. But the very second there was law against it, suddenly the hypocrites are dobbing their mates in. No=one will change nothing until its MP MLA Glaukus, PM Tarenna, Senator Sir ThunderIdeal OBE, Chief Justice Change QC and High Commissioner Dog having a "joint session" - making laws like free gunja forever to anyone who catches an ice dealer. Well Pat Uris forever correcting me - its methamphetamine dealer - when the "meth" is diluted with sugar its "speed" and when the "meth" is diluted with DMSO2 its "ice". Authorities just thought people were getting bored with the "speed epidemic" and decided to freshen up the brand name with "ice epidemic". Oh and you can take 2 and a half Desoxyin tablets "meth" and still pass a drug test because the discrimination of the drug test for that is much higher than for yarndhi. Which reminds me = saw Mr Uri for a drink and cigar last weekend, not much more, and he said my yarn above wasn't bad (Pass Conceded) quite a few techo errors, but gist was ok, but I hadn't said Zinc solutions also farc the on=the=spot Immunoassay colour test. Zinc acts just like the necessary gold heavy metal would and causes the dye to react resulting in a false negative - drug is there, but the ink-on-paper says there isn't...We all know what the mindless, jobsworth drones are going believe - not you and the evidence in front of them - but the "all knowing" piece of paper, because "it's the law"!. Keep easy, good people. P'sDog.

Gidday there folks. Old farmer Pat Uri just leaning over fence to pay a little respects to you and family. Thank you for taking our boys to your WallumWallum Respected GabiGabi people. And thank you forum family for taking in Phaemon'sDog and DonkeyWang as kin on my behalf. We share everything here - and seeing as the ancient old fart seems the only brain capable of remembering passwords - including scabies. Checking the click-bait I was horrified to find no lists of Famous People With Scabies - what? Well I can tell you what happened in the Sixties...well next tell that one. So I thought I'd start one of Famous People With Scabies: for google. List of Famous People With Scabies:- Doctor DonkeyWang with Scabies - longest documented case of condition Phaemon'sDog - kicked out of all institutes as a pup, including quarantine! Napoleon - fact used a kilo of tobacco snuff a day! back then the best aracnicide and always depicted having a scratch under the vest. Scratched from the race though cause he's been out of skin a while. Pat Uri - but I am not famous - only your love does that for me..... So anyone on that list is my agent and their messages - written by Pat Uri Clan, edited by a Donkey, published by a Dog, and read by the Beautiful Children to chuckle over and shine their light on us all. IP number certified. Pat Uri

Stupid meme by Phaemon'sDog

Arrrhhh - thanks Pat Uri, that be the kindest thing you've ever said about us! Mind you, readers would get f.a. if they had to wait around for you to post something and we're better than nothing. Hey Pat I got the one about DonkeyWang being the "longest" recorded case...Ha! Ha! Thanks too Halcyon Daze - always wondered why Ronald McDonald wore gloves...must trip out those dickies crawling around those fluoro red pubes of his! Do note that the Royal Family always wears gloves when, begrudgedly shaking commoner's hands for the photo opportunities. However:- certain Hollywood talentless celebrity glitterati refer to themselves, in house, as the "Famous Scabies" gloating in the fact they are megafamous popular amongst their adoring numerous trailer trash fans for nothing-at-all than being pretty rich and contagious parasites. "SCABIES" was the battle cry of "Black Baton Friday" Brisbane February 1912 when the police took arms against protesting ex-servicemen, striking workers, unemployed persons and women. (supposed to mean "Still Can Afford Beer In Every Strike" - as homebrewing slygrog was unenforceable so civil disobedience and strike action could be indefinite in Queensland) "SCABIES" is also the characteristic provision of working for Pat Uri - he ensures his every work camp has emergency supplies of beer (and other goodies) in case of floods, fires, cyclones, etc.; every worker is rewarded and has a place at his boss's 'pissups'; and knows nothing is better after a hard, hot slog than a cold beer, even in places where other "goodies" ain't possible due to ASS4308 - God Bless that Dear, Dear Old Man! ("Still Can Access Beer In Emergency Situations") It is an honour to be with the Scabies of Pat Uri. Phaemon'sDog.

Even me Phaemon's Dog can assure you B.caapi are real stimulated by cutting back in winter. Pat Uri's is a jungle with many new root crowns where the vine has trailed on the ground, taken root and shot up. Didn't know better you'd say it was many individual trees planted 5m away from eachother. The main's thicker than your leg. Roots like arms. Every winter it is cut back and everything that snaps away in your fingers removed. He's trained it into a great sheltered party area over a rock apache sweat lodge we got built under it. You can feel the power when you camp under it. Pruning stimulates flowering to. Yet a mate of his planted same time (ten years ago), never cut his back and has only got a mass of spaghetti with nothing thicker than your finger. The smoke off all the pruned off spaghetti stems and leaves - masses - look amazing under blacklights. Don't worry at all - "where the spirit is strong it will grow". Worth a mention = in traditional aboriginal culture your mother-in-law the most taboo person, distanced from and avoided as much as possible. She is never talked to, looked at and her name never used - she's called "that other old woman" or "old woman belonging to my missus*" if referred to at all. You never speak of her to anyone, not even to her own daughter. If she visits her daughter you leave well before and don't come back until she is gone. You are never invited to meeting she might attend - even her or wife's funeral. But this is men's business, I cannot speak woman's business...in other words she can say what she likes about you, and does, but it must never be repeated to you. ...Divorce is unknown amongst traditional aboriginals... (*It sounds better in the actual Kreole dialect of aboriginal/English - "Gin'b'longa'missus" - later postnote edit)

Dog back, saw above didn"t mention that with Breath Alcohol Analysis - which Drug Swabbing is the poor cousin and cross culture between the two happens - the partition is tween alcohol in blood and air in lungs. Air you breathe in got no alcohol, so some moves from high concentration in blood into the air of the lungs and comes out in the expired breath since alcohol has high vapour pressure at the body temperature- the partition at the lungs themselves air/blood interface - it doesn't just have to be only between liquids. So because body temp is constant, blood at constant pH and saltiness and air pressure close constant - the amount of alcohol in the expired breath is true indication of how much in the blood. Now that is fair, understandable, no probs. (I hear at high altitudes you get false higher than true reading) Public think Drug Swab just as fair - and it ain't, no way - too many variables. Watching that RID show and police pull over a P plater who had stayed sober to drive his four blind drunk mates home. When the police breatho'd him he had say 0.002% breath alcohol. You could see his horror and honesty in swearing he had not touched a drop. Now most cops are fair - lets face it - a more than few, have got the power trip and lost it to the Stanford Prison syndrome. Some people act like real, well, dogs abusing and disrespecting the cops and act up being psycho arseholes - do that and how do you think they'll treat you? (These are the same dogs that swear at the judge but try to reduce their punishment by crying it was the drugs that made them do it, had to feed their addiction wanting special treatment, leniency and sympathy like pussies. Yet you were listening to them outside court and they are bragging about being real, hard gangsters, hooking up deals on their mobiles, ordering imaginary hits and big noteing themselves for all to hear - hypocrite scum! - they give all of us, and the herb, a bad name .) The Senior cop, and they see straight through things, told this fella calm down, you've been in a closed car for last hour beathing in all your drunken mates stinking, alcohol-laden fumes and not fresh air. Again this is where the partition was broken, and he was actually taking in alcohol traces from the air he was breathing. They'd wait 20 minutes while he breathed fresh air and do the test again. Second test he passed 0.0000 and much relieved he was on his way - don't think his mates even woke up! Decent of the copper, but like I said he had a lot of experience and probably done a thousand tests before and heard a thousand stories before and knew the lad had done the right thing and would be ok. Fraid to say - drug testing roadside or on work sites is still in its infancy and got a lot of refining to do - not like BAC. My beef ain't with the drug testing idea itself, well not in this thread anyway. I think little of stoner pulling ten cones and a couple of beers for breakfast and then driving their kids to school - most uncool - and any righteous rastaman would agree that is shameful abuse, not responsible use. My POV, its to do with why the inadequacies of testing were, well, suppressed from the public, bias propaganda is being spread supporting the tests, when good people are being persecuted and made to hurt for a habit they are controlling responsibly that statistically is safer than speeding or fatigue driving and especially drink driving, let alone a reckless fool who's tripping their guts off on something undetectable, yet thinks its ok to drive. Its a scandal. Lets keep it real. My privilege to have you kindly read my words, good people, Phaemon'sDog hoping he's making the clan proud.