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  1. This is a multifaceted topic 3 strong morning coffees might nearly place me correctly to divulge some small amount of info. Thought it was wild carrot. Nope. After eating 4-5 tubers, and drinking 300-400ml of its greens I knew it probably wasn't carrot. Mottled red up its stalk..said to reflect the blood of the victims lives it had taken. This is a be safe story. And, im a fucking legend shaman story. HAHAHA. not. Maybe. And, a 'the world may just be weirder than u think story'. So, it might not have been POISON hemlock..but it sure was hemlock. It's not the first time initiation lead me to such places. Sometimes 'the gut' will take me inches within that goassmer thread of life..just so my mind has less and less attachment to it. Amanita is surely an allie of rebirth.. but then, u know what? more and more..im attracted to SMALL amounts of the poison, when sick, in order to cure the malady. is that homeopathic? Dunno..but I do know, that a half bottle of rum straightens me when im angry- and studying shrooms makes me feel normal when im 'wobbly'..and when i got a bastard ass pimple that wont heal, i squeeze it till it bleeds. anyway, in retrospect- the closer i come to Death, the more I appreciate how subtle, yet POWERFUL life is. Growing up, i spose i was kinda scared: very cautious, 'safe' and weary. It only got me FUCT up. repeatedly..not making full contact with the shadow, only gave it more power. So, in meditating on it..i know that life and nature, certainly did initiate me through Hemlock. It said, u wanna know how to walk between worlds? U wanna know immortality? Life beyond death..the incorruptible, galvanized soul? "yep, fuck yeah" I said.. And life listens when u answer like that. lol. With passion, innocence and the yang heat to burn the universe. Or, to enflame it with life. Either way..subtle distinctions..lol It shoulda killed me. Sometimes, the event didnt really happen till u get to tell your mates about it. In this case, it made too much fkn sense as I recalled the story..and others noticed the larger pattern. So.. I had a sip..and drank near half a litre. 10 mins on..and i realised it was more than detox.. my head felt like a tin can, being crushed by the hand of destiny. I hear the aluminium tear and crumple. My neurochemistry was being taken over and 'shut down'. My thoughts were 'fuck- on my own. cant make call. Cant compute. not enough time. Meditate'. I crawled into my bedroom, and heaved myself to the bed. To my demise, or my enlightenment. I navigated my own predicament. !) "what is inside this sensation?" I asked. The answer "Hemlock/poison/death and dying". 2) "and what is inside that?" Makes me laugh. The irony of drinking carrot juice, only to seemingly face a poetic end of ends. 3)"and what is inside that?" 'My end of ends?' I answered. lol. Nothing..but another beginning, I spose. Albeit, a possibly excruciating one. 4) "and what is inside that?" Poison. Dumb me drank poison. But hold up..whats inside poison? energy..molecules..possiblity..yeh, thats right..nothing is true and anything is permitted..stardust! 5)"and what is inside that?" Nothing man..emptiness..perfect arbitrary at-one-ment (and at this point the peace steps in. The all encompassing, blissful support of reality as it is. Kinda felt like God or something, I spose. 6) "and what is inside that?" Inside God? lol. Me. inside me? god. inside god? everything. lol. nothing..everything... in one big seething, pulsing sexy lightshow. 7) "and what do i know now" I echoed to my previous answer.. "I am God..so are you..nothing matters or is true, lest I let it be..and I can create exactly what I choose.. I choose life and to remain in this healthy, capable body... im either gonna die smiling or i'll get up soon thinking this was a bad dream.." 10 mins later I got up had a cuppa. ------- lol. but youll tell me I was lucky..it was carrot..or a species of hemlock that isnt posionous. lol. Either way.. i dont care.. but im very grateful to know what I know. That if u go far enough inside the demon, you only find yourself laughing. And all is well Good to remember u dont go looking for death or chaos. If it is your path..The wild monkey will find u. Good to remember too, dark nights only last a night. lol. What I love most about this story..this experience.. is the kind of "life kicks arse" feeling that I get from it. From some other demented triumph. Also, that as much 'truth' as a person or science can find, their is utter joy in knowing there is 'always something else'. Always an exception.
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