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immanuel

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Posts posted by immanuel

  7. Posted · Edited by mardybum

    local knowledge, shooting roos, watch lots of bush tucker man... it would really depend where you plan to do it, and with what equipment? shouldn't be too hard with seafood and fresh water.

    im interesting in being able to do it anywhere, just like the aboriginals did. and only using equipment found in nature. i'd love to be able to just travel on foot through bushland for weeks.

  20. Posted

    sometimes when i am really stoned i start to hear voices. not like schizophrenia type voices, but if i hear something that is muffled enough that i cant hear it properly, my mind will start to play tricks on me think i can hear things like voices in the muffled sound.

    i remember once i was in a room, and my friends were in another room in the house, all i could hear was the low rumble of their vocies. i started to think i could hear them talking and laughing about how they were going to beat me up and murder me. things like that were happening to me quite constantly.

    i quit weed for a while and started to get my shit sorted out, especially my life, and started learning, alot. a long process which i dont really want to go into but ive taught myself how to switch off things like anxiety, depression, irratability, which i really struggled with beforehand. now im smoking weed again, much more moderate, but when i get really stoned i find the voices come back sometimes, but i can switch them off, the same way i can switch off anxiety or something.

    you can PM me if your interested at all and id go into a bit more detail, but i'd recommend you check out something like NLP. or even the tibetan book of the dead (if you can deciper through it) i found extremely helpful.

  21. Posted

    thanks for the replies guys

    yeah i know its not your typical psytrance sort of song, like ayjay said, i dont want to conform to a genre. im just gunna do my own thing and do what i think sounds good. and i think psytrance is fucking awesome so i enjoy basing my music around that sort of thing.

    i wouldnt mind giving the bass a bit more drive though, id like it to be a bit more prominent because i reckon it goes well when there are all the other melodic layers. does anyone know how to give it a bit more drive, should i just turn it up louder?

    hey and btw critisism is welcome, i dont think ill ever stop looking to improve.

    the tempo is about 220, i set it like that so i could space the beats over two bars, because when its set over one bar, i only get 4 beats per bar, this way i get eight, so i can add faster sounds like a drum roll for example. if anyone knows how to keep the tempo in the hundreds but still have eight 'beats' per bar in the piano roll id like to know how its done?

    so you guys think it would all sound better if it was faster? id speed it up if i had more time, but then id have to reset all the delays. ill keep that in mind next time i write and play around with the tempo a bit more to see what sounds best.

  23. Posted

    I've been doing alot of reading into this subject and have been reading buddhists scriptures aswell, and from my experiences and what I can gather I think schizophrenia/psychosis is really not any different to something like anxiety, depression or an afterglow. Simply an altered perception, a way the brain has been trained to think.

    When I tripped on LSD I had what I can only call a psychotic experience. This delusional state continued well after the effects of the LSD should have worn off. Three other friends ate the same LSD off the same sheet and had 'normal' LSD trips, and sobered up in about 10 hours. I was still psychotic at around 14-16 hours.

    I believed people could read my mind, I thought I had control of the future, I thought I was killing people with my thoughts, I believed Gods were controlling my mind, I thought everybody around me knew exactly what was happening to me except me, and it was just a big game to mock me, I even remember experiencing catatonia. I was sitting in the car, and I would put my body in these crazy positions in an attempt to feel comfortable, I'd stay in these positions and just completely ignore anything external, because I was so caught up in my head. These are definately not normal LSD effects and after research found symptoms like these are quite common in schizophrenic's.

    Basically what was happening to me was I was interpreting everything wrong. All the external information was being interpreted by my brain, completely wrong. When I beleived people could read my minds, i'd interpret all their language, body and verbal, in a way that prove to me that they really could read my mind. When I thought I was choosing futures, i'd do the same, interpret all the external information in a way that would back up these crazy delusions. Like my friend said 'it feels like my teeth are falling out', and I thought he meant, 'dont choose that future I have no teeth!'. Or when my friend would say my name, I thought he was crying out for help because I was killing him. When my friend said he was thirsty, I thought he was dying of dehydration. At one point I believed my friends were in a massive drug funded gang, and then they pulled out these lollies and I thought the lollies were all pills in disguise.

    Well around 16 hours since I had ingested the LSD, I was still going nuts. At this very moment, (+16hrs) the whole thing was more intense that it ever had been. I basically thought I had to choose between two futures, one where I died, or one where my friend died. This was when I was catatonic, and my friend kept saying my name over and over, asking me what I was doing, but I just ignored him. When I was catatonic, I was in a place where time didn't exist, time was not linear, but a vast expanse. This was why I would ignore everything external, because I didn't believe I existed in the realities which this external information came from. Everytime my friend would say my name or ask 'what are you doing?' I thought it was because I was killing him, and he was begging me to stop. I ended up believing that everytime a thought entered my head, it was killing my friend. I'd start thinking about things and forget it was killing him then suddenly he would say my name, or open the door and i'd realize I was killing him and quickly stop thinking. I'd flip between these two stages of thought, thinking each stage was a different future, the thoughts killing my friend and the emptiness was me dying. I didn't want to die, so tried to change it but inevitably it went back onto my friend. I was trying so hard to get out somehow, I didn't want to die, I didn't want my friend to die, I just wanted to get out, escape, it was hell, but everytime it would end up back on me killing my friend. It got to the point where I thought I was choking him to death with my thoughts and I could sense the life dissapearing out of him and he came so close to dying, I knew that there was no way I could live with myself if I killed him.

    So I decided to kill myself, and to do this I believed I had to completely turn off my mind, no thoughts at all. It was extremely hard, and everytime a tiny thought entered my head I thought I was killing my friend, so I was forced to turn off my thoughts, completely shut off my mind. I do not believe I could of done this if I didn't think I was killing my friend. The craziest thing happened, when I started trying to kill myself stairway to heaven began playing, and for some reason, without realizing it, I was content with ending my life. I was awake, conscious, through this process, but as you can imagine when there are no thoughts in your head, your not really aware of whats going on. It's sort of like falling asleep. It's so strange to be able to look back on the whole process, especially when in my memories I thought I wad dying. It's really unexplainable, I cannot describe how it felt to have my mind completely shut down, and still be awake. From what I have read, I believe what I did was a meditative technique that buddhists devote their lives trying to achieve. 'Liberation'. It only lasted a few seconds, but as soon as I had fully turned off my mind, I just snapped out of the psychosis. Just like that, click and I was sane again. My friend who was watching me hanging my legs out the window or trying to push the car roof off with my feet, said it looked like I switched between a split personality or something. Because one minute I was just sitting there in some crazy position with my eyes closed, then the next I looked up and started talking/acting coherently.

    The buddhists scriptures I have read describe psychosis as the lowest mindstate and liberation as the highest. There are certain meditative techniques one can use to move up one mindstate to the other. I think all I did was move from psychosis, to liberation. And the fact that after this happens, I find it all accurately described by the Buddhists, just shows to me how valid this is. I have been able to use certain techniques from these scriptures to turn off anxiety and depression. When I used to smoke large amounts of weed it would leave me feeling depressed/lethargic, heighten my anxiety and make me irratable, but with these same techniques I can smoke all day everday and not experience any negative effects over the following weeks. From my experience, I believe mental disorders are just ways the brain has been trained to think. Drugs change the way we think, and thus open up new trains of thoughts, which if we are not ready for can turn into mental disorders. I think with the right preparation, guidance, knowledge, psychedelics can be used very safely. But if somebody comes comes across disturbing thoughts, and they have no knowedgle or preparation etc. on how to deal with these kinds of thoughts, they can fall into a psychosis. That's how it happened to me, it started off as small delusions which I didn't know how to deal with, so tried to just ignore them, but they'd come back, bigger, and they'd just keep growing till I was psychotic.

    I think psychedelics and buddhism have alot in common. All that's different is psychedelics force onto you, what buddhists train tehmselves to achieve. In order to achieve such states naturally, they must train themselves in a way that they can deal with disturbing situations and thoughts. But since this kind of knowledge and preparation is not needed to eat LSD, a peice of paper, people can experience states they are not ready for. I'd recommend everyone read a book like the Tibetan Book of the Dead, and learn how to avoid such states as nuerosis, and psychosis, and even how to rise up into higher mindstates. Just thought i'd chuck in what i've learnt from my experience. I don't know how valid it is, or will be for others, but it's quite valid for me and works quite well. I read anything to suggest that there is some sort of understanding of how this happens, so I want to try and figure it out. I plan to spend alot more time looking into this, cause it's a subject that I find very intruiging.

  24. Posted · Edited by mardybum

    I'd say the spores are brown, maybe a slightly purplish brown or a maronish brown, but definately more brown than purple.

    I thought it may have been Psilocybe coprophila but it is a dung lover, Hypholoma fasciculare fits the description pretty accurately and wiki says spores are pruplish brown, sounds about right to me.

    Thanks mate!

  25. Posted · Edited by mardybum

    Was walking to work this morning when I came across these:

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    DSCN2060.jpg

    Reminded me of Galerina so I decided to pick them and get an ID.

    Found on the central coast (northern Sydney), in a small patch of grass and also among garden woodchips. We are getting average temperatures of around 20 celsius and lots of rain. Stems are light brown, similar to the edges of cap. Caps are goldish, the middle being a dark shade, fading outwards to a lighter shade. Spores are dark brown and black where they have been dropped heavily, as you can see on the caps in the photo's. Gills are dark brown and there was no bruising.

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