Neighbour from hell

[MrBumpy]

How about, when she goes out.... slit her cat and her roomates throats.... then leave obscene messages written in blood on her walls, bed sheets and carpet...

thats sure to get rid of her... or at least the kitty-litter problem.

-bumpy

[Tripitaka]

How about, when she goes out.... slit her cat and her roomates throats.... then leave obscene messages written in blood on her walls, bed sheets and carpet...

thats sure to get rid of her... or at least the kitty-litter problem.

-bumpy

Dude????? ouch!!!!

[woof woof woof]

hold a collection with your other neighbours and hire a hit-man!

okay,.. that might be a little too drastic.

You better contact ChemicalShaman! I bet he knows a thing or two about really getting on peoples nerves. He is the best thing you can go for before going to the next step, which is a hitman! Hi hi hi

just being silly folks!

Bri

[SikkimRex]

All these are great suggestions for GETTING some-one, but I think that there is something else to consider - that is - expense of your energy. Is it worth it?

I have a friend who is a lecturer at a Uni, where another staff member sucks all the funding personally, and does'nt share or participate in the staff group of culture. Also, his intellectual practices are dodgy - he is almost a plagiarist. Anyhow, this friend of mine went on a campaign against him, and it pretty much became his hobby. GET 'IM! Eventually the guy left, cause he got sick of the grief.

Now my problem was never about whether or not the guy was an idiot, or whether my friend was wrong to persue this. My problem was for my friend - I dont think that considering the destruction of another a hobby is a really healthy thing to be doing. It's letting yourself feed off the wrong kind of energy. An energy that could go to good shit, productive shit. I mean, in the time he spent thinking up schemes he could have done something FOR HIMSELF that would have been an investment (reading the big book you bought but could never find the commitment to reading). But most importantly, I did'nt like seeing my mate have hate as his main energy, and as his conversation topic. Admittedly, that's the extreme example.

From my own experience I would say that it's easy to get obsessed when someone is out to get you, or at least dislikes, or has a grudge. I also found myself trying to do everything I could to be nice - to remedy it, like it was my fault. It is'nt - it's their problem, and they are making it your problem, if you will let them. With the particular ex-friend I am thinking of, who was also a contemporary in my profession, she did everything she could, and because she was a cruel person, she was much better at it than me. I had a break-down (because it's easy to roll all the bad shit together). In the end, though, what saved it was that I gave up on solving it and just got on with good shit - doing my own shit, but always with a community focus. Years later, that attention to my community (in my industry) has got me so much further that it did her - in real terms. And she can have her hate!

I feel a bit like a hippy in saying this, but I think its important to have a big picture view of your own energy. If it lurches in a negative direction (Addiction, Hate, Jealousy, Paranoia, etc), then do something positive for yourself and the world! And if we can keep focussed on that, then at the very least the significance we give to this bad shit is diminished - and if its going round, its the sender's, not the receiver's problem.

And here we are - growing plants! What better energy is there than that!

For what its worth, cheers Rex

[simon_marklar]

All these are great suggestions for GETTING some-one, but I think that there is something else to consider - that is - expense of your energy. Is it worth it?

i think just about every 'over the top' reply was exactly that - something to make wandjina laugh cuz it sounded like she needed a laugh.

we all know that wandjina wouldnt stink up her place as revenge, but damn is it fun to think about it.

but you know, this is the internets. serious stuff only here

[n00dle]

I suggest the best way is to research your rights, in -cooperation- with your landlord. Find laws and such, and make noise all the time, to just under the residential limit, find everything you can do legally/rightfully/morally and do it.

If she's gonna be a pain in the ass, you be one too (and make sure she knows that you can't get in trouble by it). She's only in power because people let her be. If you put her in her place, then she'll get fed up and move to another place where she can do it.

[Rev]

nah too much bullshit

besides shes obviously a veteran with the tribunals

and its not a situation wher 2 parties are to blame

get rid of her and everything gets back to harmonious

I dont think that considering the destruction of another a hobby is a really healthy thing to be doing.

i think its all too draining to be messing with people heads or especiallyu with legal crap and tribunals. Besides when you lay a rat trap to get rid of a rat, you do it for self preervation lest you die of their filth, you dont have to enjoy doing it to be effective

Which is why it has to be drastic, fast and surgical. She has to want to leave, and quickly, simply because she cant stand to be there a minute longer. I still think funky smells are the way to go

repulsive, all pervasive and blameless

she need never discover the cause be anything but coincidence and shes less lilley to dig in or retaliate if no-one is culpable

You can try and negotiate with a malignancy while it digs in deeper - or just have it burnt off.

Edited February 7, 2006 by Rev

[jasemateau]

perhaps feed her cat laxtives on a regular basis, and tell her,

her cat is eatting a plant not on the property,but very close by, and in form of a mass to large to remove.

thats smelly and, awful thing to live with, eewwwwwwwwww.

[Rev]

as much as i hate cats....

its still pretty cruel to involve an innocent pet in matter

[jasemateau]

ok ok, it can be done just once, the day the realestate agent inspects her property!!!!!

i love cats, to me if i dont like the person i dont want to know there cat, is'nt the same for dog lovers,

dont like the owner, dont like the dog, or feel sorry for it?

cat shit everywhere in her apartment should OPEN the estateagents eyes!!!!

[mescalito]

Actually I've been giving this some more thought and why not play right into her hands?

For example:Knock on the door and apologise for all the noise and swearing and explain that one of your friends has Turettes' syndrome and is partially deaf and you like to look after them on occasions because you feel sorry for them.

Then comment on how much better your furniture looks where she put it than where you had it ^_^

Then you and your neighbours drop-in sporadically for a chat with a bottle of wine or some coffee and bore the shit out of her with some nice dull conversation.

Take the ammunition away and she'll be shooting blanks!

Brought to you by karma free productions <___base_url___>/uploads/emoticons/default_innocent_n.gif

[Amulte]

thats a great idea Mescalito, shoot blanks at her and scare the shit out of her. Nahh that would be bad, i say try what Mesc said

EDIT - if that dont work im sure she would make great fert

Edited February 7, 2006 by Amulte

[mescalito]

LOL

You've seen "The Last Supper" then <___base_url___>/uploads/emoticons/default_tongue.png

[simon_marklar]

EDIT - if that dont work im sure she would make great fert

imagine if you used her to fertilise a dmt containing plant, then once you extracted it and smoked it she was there, annoying you from the other side.

that would suck.

[wandjina]

thanks guys, you've really put a smile on my face :D and provided some valuable advice. I think the 'official' approach may be the way to go.

Latest development: monday arvo the guy from next door comes to my back door...'check this out!'...and he hands me a business card, Ms As business card, which says the following.

Ms XXXX A

BA BPsych psychologist MAPS etc

Specialising in pain management and life coaching (!!!!)

blah blah blah

holy crap, maybe she can do something about this chronic pain in my arse.

On the reverse she's written a note, 'Hi, I'm from Apt 1 (as if we didn't already know), and I'm having a mattress removed on the 22/2 by council. If you have anything you want to have removed, come and see me and i will notify the council.'

We have a sneeking suspicion she is hinting that she wants the other neighbours to move the stuff they've got stored under the back and front stairs. Admittedly, one guy in particular is a hopeless slob, and has all kinds of dusty junk lying around...but he's a lovely big-hearted fellow, and his stuff's not in anyone's way, so who gives a shit? It's certainly not in her way, or on 'her' side either. All I've got out the back is some potted plants and a few bags of sand and potting mix. If she kicks up a stink about this, she's really gonna be in the fella's bad books.

Well, I haven't responded to her note, there's only one thing I want removed

[Greeny]

I got a nice vengance idea I heard somewhere but it really requires too much effort and know how to be viable but if it did happen It would be front page of the local paper.

Wait unti she takes trip or something where you have atleast 3 days (more if you haven't stripped and rebuilt allotta cars) then dismantle her car and re assemble it in the living room. You may want a camera to film the reaction because it would be a kodak moment and a half. To top things off she might try to ram the car out a big window or something that would be a lovely icing on the cake indeed

Or you can just poo in a bag douse it in lighter fluid leave it on her doorstep spark it ring the bell and run. classic from the movies but I've only known one person to ever do it in real life.

Smear vasoline on her doorknob thats easy enough to do, fill her keyhole with rubber cement or if ever get the chance unwind half her toiletpaper thats on the roll dust it with itching powder and roll it back up (that was my brainchild from yr12 muckup day :D

We'll thats my brain picked for amusing but ultimatly harmless things to do. Nothings ever funny when somebody gets really hurt. Maybe bruised but not crippled or dead. Not funny at all

[wandjina]

now this is just getting silly...

I was doing some gardening this morning, when two police officers came out of MsA's back door, and she began talking with them about soemthing on the ground...it looked like a broken pot. I approached them, assuming there had been a break-in or something.

'Everything O.K?'

'Oh, someone has written something in the cement here'...she said pointing to the ground, and there, carefully chiselled into cement laid decades ago, in letters approx 10cm high, were the words 'PISS OFF'.

It was done very neatly, and must have taken quite some time. I must admit, it was with difficulty I retained my composure.

I didn't hear what was said to the cops, but now I'm a little scared. I can't rule out that one of the other neighbours did it, but they really don't seem like the kind of people who would. I'm worried that she has done this herself. If so, what else may she be prepared to do?

the saga continues.......

[themagicmushroom]

whatever happened to this? did she, as the pavement said, finally 'piss off'?

[Dirty Old Man]

Maybe she got carted off to the loonie bin or maybe she died......

[wandjina]

no such luck...she's still there, and continues to be a pain.

It was my daughters birthday a few months ago, and she had a big day eating junkfood, hadn't slept the night before, running around like a lunatic...and by the time she got home was in a sugar-induced manic state. She refused to get dressed for a family dinner out, and with her party the next morning, we (my parents and I) decided to keep her home. She wasn't impressed, and proceeded to have a most spectacular tantrum.

She was sound asleep at 7 though, thankfully.

However, at 8 there's a knock on the door...and to my surprise two police officers are standing on the doorstep.

Someone had lodged a report of domestic violence, that i had been beating my child!!!

They came in and saw that everything was fine, had a chat with me and my folks, and after explaining to them we'd been having issues with a neighbour, they all but told me it was her who had phoned it in.

What a cow!

The bin monoplosing has continued, as has the plant torturing...egad, this woman has the brownest thumb ever!

I have never seen such a sad and neglected spath...dejected, dusty and wilted by her door, and the assortment of dehydrated and rootbound ornamentals slowly dying in their crappy plastic pots...and don't get me started on her attempts at 'pruning' the callistemon...grrrr

On the lighter side, my rusty old washing machine has overflowed a few times dripping down into her linen press and making her carpet soggy...she had a field day with that, prime ammo...gave the estate agent a really hard time about it....I had to listen to him bitch about her for half an hour.

Apparently they've got a huge file of her complaints, and the entire office hates her...they're hoping she'll finally move on, but I can't see it happening any time soon.

At least the door-slamming agro flat mate moved out...I dont think he could take it (her complaining...he was the third flatmate since she moved in) anymore, so now there's this young Nordic guy...he won't even make eye contact with me, so god knows what he thinks.

Ah well, such is life....I do my best to not send nasty thoughts, but nobody's perfect

Edited October 25, 2006 by wandjina

[Fenris]

Do you know anyone in India? You could get them to start posting small ammounts of opium to her with a little note inside mentioning her name and hoping she likes the incense.

Im sure it wouldn't be long before the feds would notice something and she wouldn't have any support from the neighbours either.

Alternatively you could get everyone in the block to call the dob in a drug dealer line and accuse her of selling pot to school children.

[sobriquet]

She won''t like having to empty a mailbox stuffed full of crap, and you can make it even funnier by soaking it with water once you put it in there...

The smell approach is a good one, but it doesn't have to be as blunt as durian or shit.

Tuna oil that one can get from Big W in the fishing section, used to flavour burley etc is excellent for this purpose.

Putting junk mail that's coated somewhat in tuna oil will definitely piss her off and give her a message. You could even use the oil from a normal sandwich tuna can. Even butter will work and will begin to go rancid in the heat and make all her mail stink.

You could apply the tuna oil to her door handle randomly also.

Buy yourself a cheap water pistol and fill it with the tuna oil. Aim for her clothes while out drying. You don't have to use much. Be sparing at all times.

Subtlety is the key. It won't cost you more than several dollars for the bottle of oil, and it will bring so much misery to her that she'll get the message she's unwanted.

[apothecary]

The smell approach is a good one, but it doesn't have to be as blunt as durian or shit.

Tuna oil that one can get from Big W in the fishing section, used to flavour burley etc is excellent for this purpose.

Putting junk mail that's coated somewhat in tuna oil will definitely piss her off and give her a message. You could even use the oil from a normal sandwich tuna can. Even butter will work and will begin to go rancid in the heat and make all her mail stink.

You could apply the tuna oil to her door handle randomly also.

Buy yourself a cheap water pistol and fill it with the tuna oil. Aim for her clothes while out drying. You don't have to use much. Be sparing at all times.

Subtlety is the key. It won't cost you more than several dollars for the bottle of oil, and it will bring so much misery to her that she'll get the message she's unwanted.

That is gold.

Double points for every stray cat that attacks her while fetching the mail!

[wandjina]

LMAO... sparing application of tuna oil sounds like a tactic I'd consider, if only to avenge the plants!!!

[jasemateau]

brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gel it

or a instant thickener, and throw a hand full like a mist over her car in the morning when there is dew on it.

when it finally dries it looks like a white dried up crusty schmere, only way to get it off is to use the hose and a soft cloth with lots of labour.

pregelatinized starch is what it really is, can probly get some from your local bakery for almost nothing.

pour some sugar syrup in her plants close to her kitchen, she'll have ants everywhere