One teensy step for mankind, one slightly larger step for me

[apothecary]

Just told mother about my love affair with the sweet shiva. :D

[Hagakure]

good on ya. how did it go?

[apothecary]

Hehehe huge argument, but she didn't have much to complain about, I'm not some demotivated dumb stoner.

I go to uni, have a job (that is essentially my dream job), haven't been brought home by the cops, don't stay out too late if I can help it, etc.

She left my room with the words "Just keep it to a minimum! Like, once a year minimum!"

[dracos6]

lol,

id consider that to be quite well

[Benzito]

Isn't it sad, that the plants and drugs that make up such a LARGE part of our lives, and our way of thinking, are things that we need to be ashamed of or feel guilty for using.

But, my neighbour can get blind drunk everynight and joke about it with his mates, cause drinking is good, healthy fun.

Imagine if that was a needle in his arm instead of a stubbie of beer in his hand. Would you think any differently? I don't think I would. But, society does.

I'm in the same boat, mind-altering substances are an important part of my life, but I still can't just discuss them casually with my mother. Like I do my love of Bonsai, or fish keeping.

One day people's attitudes will change.

[occidentalis]

Good on you Apoth.

I've always had an easy time with my mum but only recently started openly discussing things with my dad. It's good to be open with your folks - one day they'll get over it. When you live a life they respect and are inteterested in drugs, it counters the negative stereotypes which are probably the only information about drugs they've ever seen.

[Hagakure]

my technique has been explaining to them over about 2 years or so now why most of what they know is wrong.

i argue my case with them so much that i think they assume i take a lot more than i actually do.

i think they kinda see my side now but there are stil risks they worry about.

i may know that there will be no health problems witha substance but that doesnt stop me getting arrested if caught with possession.

[Trip Dr]

Good shit Apo, i remember when my mum found out i smoked weed...went bloody balistic! Right out in the street while we were on a family holiday in Cairns, even started abusing people walking past for looking at her! I laugh about it now, but was not a good thing then. My dad is totally sweet, i smoke with him sometimes(he's not a big stoner, but was when younger). He's got the attitude like "just dont get fucked up all the time"

[apothecary]

Guilty? Mate I argued it for all I was worth!

Heck, I'll cross post the shit I put up on the nook, much longer post, but I could only be assed doing it once

(cross posted from the nook)

(begin multi part stoned post/rant thing)

Hi there.

Tonight has been a good night. I scored some stinky buds (seriously, you'll see how stinky) from my cousin, and passed some on to another cousin

I recently came back from Byron Bay (Australia) and they taught me how to roll nice big Bob Marley spliffs. I preceded to smoke one, lying outside on my beanbag, listening to Easy Skankin' (by none other than Bob Marley), basking in the night time beauty of my garden.

Perilla magilla and you can kind of see the Brugmansia behind it.

So yeah. This weed was damn stinky. So stinky, it literally stunk up my whole house. As I was outside passing weed onto my other cousin, mother came around the back of the house looking for me.

She starts commenting how she can smell burning grass, so I figure bugger it, I'll just tell her. So I admit it, ensue argument, she claims its addictive and I'll be on heroin next, I tell her it isn't etc, so on so forth, eventually I whittle her down to "try to keep it to a minimum, like, low...LOW! once a year low!".

She left my room, I hope my arguments had some impact on her, and realised that Bob Marley has been playing this whole time in my left ear! Hehehehe.

So now mother knows. Dad (who is Muslim) doesn't. It's been a good night.

[apothecary]

The ironic thing is, if I smoked less in general I wouldn't be able to control myself as well, and probably would have done a lot worse during the argument!

[-YT-]

Nice work apoth Atleast you had z balls to tell your Mum. I never actually told my Parents they found out when i was 18. Went to work one day and came home like usuall, my bro ran up to me he was 16 and said YT dont get mad i have to tell u something... i said ok... Then he proceeded to tell me how he stole buds outta my room while at work and mulled up and was smoking in my room in my waterpipe wen None other then my dad walks in and goes f@arken balisitc at him. Then lata that nite my old man confronts me and i was thinking all nite about a story i could use - then wen he walked in i thought fuck it im telling him, so i did we had a chat bout it i calmy explained it to him and he had no problem, and is kool with it And shit was it a relief not to have to hide it from my parents.

[onz]

yehp, honesty will always lead to those long term benefits. But shit can get outta control.

crazy world.

never told my mother, she found out. (seperated) dad was coast'n me through it . It wasn't too bad when i was straight, but when i was stoned, argueing was nervous as. Then the final one happened, she sat me down; I was straight, and was extra pissed off that I had started again (only quiting when dry ). So I said "nup, not this time, I'm going to keep smoking. what can you do about?"

"I'll smash that thing in there(my room)"

"I'll steal some cash from you'n buy a new one"

... ahhh, I don't recall those days very often. age 14-15. now 18.

Though my best'nd only smoking buddy has never told his parents. But, many scary close encounters and we're pretty sure his dad knows. He convinced his dad that marijuana should be re-legalised! well done lad

[Leo^]

I havent told my parents but Im sure they know, my mum always makes little comments about weed and how its so bad and destroys ppl if they do it too much. If they do find out tho I can explain that its the only reason Im not on anti-depressants and can function at work. Now Im working in a very physical job its more medicinal than recreational anyway.

[Qhorakuna tantani]

My mum found out when I came home stoned one night (damn my red eyes). Shit hit the fan seriously... its bad when they don't yell and are dissapointed but it's worse when the are dissapointed and yell. My mums a youth social worker so her experiences very much shape her opinion which is bad because all she sees is the cases of addiction and irresposible useage. there's no way in hell she'll ever be able to see my side of responsible use and addction being alot to do with strain and growing conditions etc and she's said that to me. She can't possibly envision drugs being good... even though I tell her how much pharma companies are evil etc she can't seem to break her early formed strongly held beliefs and i guess thats her and my loss ey.

My dad came in my room that night and yelled at me, to keep up appearences i think, and the next night told me that I'd better not smoke it at the house anymore and that he wasn't stupid... Goin with me mates to HJs all the time isn't half obvious lolz I'm just glad I am able to be apart of a like minded community that understands where I'm coming from

[Torsten]

I was a good boy till I was 18. I only ever got caught blind drunk until then and the punishment was usually superfluous because I couldn't leave my room for the next day or so anyway due to hangover.

I started acid when I was 18, but didn't tell my parents till I was 19. Wasn't living at home anymore because I wasn't getting on with mum, so her reaction was more intriguing to me than of any consequence. In fact, my mum always claimed to be a progressive parent, but the two times it really counted she was about as conservative as it gets (the other time was when I introduced my boyfriend ).

Dad on the other hand was intrigued by the whole thing and just implored me to be careful. I was. About the only time he got worried was when I went to a nightclub 2 doors down from his place and got so messy I had couldn't go home and had to wake him up at 4am to let me in.

I can't see drug consumption (incl alcohol) as being a positive thing for anyone still at school or in their mid teens. So, I think it is a bit sad that parents really can't do much about their pot smoking 12 year olds. And sadly, I have yet to see one of these early smokers progress to a happy life. Not saying the pot is always to blame, but surely it doesn't help.

[jasemateau]

silly really i used to sit down and have a pipe with my mother when i was 15 just to talk about somthing.then i really decided that pot was really boring, and never smoked much at all since then in fact i dont remember smoking any pot since i was 18ish, then i discovered acid and well mum never new what the hell i was upto she thought i drank alot, and had developed a obscure sense of humour after clubbing. 5 years past after my acid honeymoon and i told her. and she laughed here ears off. she thought that was'nt even around anymore.

well lets face it it really is;nt compared to the mid 70's when my mum was cool, but even still she had never had it before anyway.

and well fuck my father, is he so much as smelt a ciggy on us he would rip us to bits. and the strap was out!!!!!!!!!!!!

i had seperated parents.

my mum has always been cool about everything, she has always said. all i can say son i belive you have good judgement, so should know how much is too much and when its acutally getting ontop of your own goals.

and when it does you already know what to do dont you.

find another smile if all else fails. skydiving was my out, fuck its great.

[ 11. August 2005, 18:11: Message edited by: jasemateau ]

[nabraxas]

no offense to anyone, but i do find this topic rather strange.

i'm glad folks seem to need to have an "open" & "honest" relationship w/their folks---i guess that's healthy & natural.

but for me, well my father was off the scene completely & my mother was a christian. i gave up trying to 'open her mind' way before i left home at 18. she hated the fact i smoked cigarettes & would have had no problem dobbing me in to the cops if she'd found any drugs during her covert searches ov my room.

i always thought there was meant to be a generation gap, so i never really gave a flying fuck what my mother thought ov anything i did.

[Torsten]

GenX was a transition phase where both sides tried to reduce/eliminate the generation gap. Most members here have parents who were exposed to the 60/70s, so a little more understanding about sex, drugs & music could be expected from these parents.

You and I are too old for that....

In my case it was my parents who wanted to 'relate' - or at least pretend to be open minded. Personally I was happy with the generation gap.

[Qhorakuna tantani]

yea... most times half assed relating is worse than none at all.

On a somewhat side note... about wat benz said way up there^ about feeling ashamed of things like pot use, I've always thought that this could be a contributing factor to the antisocial and antimotivational behaviors exhibited in so many long term smokers. I know that it can happen to people even if they aren't ashamed or made to feel ashamed but I think the fact that the people who are live with this guilt, as it were, eveytime they light up. This can't be good for self esteem and the psyche. Even those who don't believe it's wrong or don't openly seem ashamed or even recognise it as being a possibly shameful practise, subconsciencely have these idea pounded into them.

[Benzito]

 

quote:

---

This can't be good for self esteem and the psyche. Even those who don't believe it's wrong or don't openly seem ashamed or even recognise it as being a possibly shameful practise, subconsciencely have these idea pounded into them

---

Exactly my point! I love cannabis, and right now, feel that I will never say goodbye to Mary jane. I don't plan on smoking 2gm's a night for the rest of my life, that would make me crazy, or at least very depressed.

But, I can see myself as an 80 year old man, still smoking a few joints a year.

It feels like the 'right-est' drug for my body. Doesn't make me into an animal like alcohol, and has made me a calmer, more controlled, patient person.

But, even through all this, there is an underlying sense of guilt.

[psycho0]

my mums caught me in some pretty fuken bad staes and doesnt say much but gets the shits

but shes more pissssed off with weed than say shrooms or md! weird hey

[Torsten]

I have no objection to cannabis use. In fact, if it didn't make my head soooo fuzzy for several days I would probably have a puff every few days too. I'd like to see less hydro and I'd prefer to see a sensible social conditioning that would result in under 16's or even under 18's refraining from regular use.

That said, it does worry me though that I have not met a single late 30's adult who has been a regular pot smoker and does not have some pretty severe (and definitely somewhat disabling) mental problem. I would feel a lot better about regular cannabis use if there was more evidence that people are still balanced after 20 years of it. The lack thereof should make people think about the quantity and frequency of their use.

[Rev]

Sometimes older people who did use when young are the worst as they take their life experience and project it to you

Older Generations were a product of a centralised and streamlined world with much less noise and choice than today

fashions dictate whats in and whats not, subcultures fit into neat categories, there is a clearer line bewteen right and wrong, us and them.

they embraced conformity even in rebellion

i use as example the categories, the attraction to political ideologies, the identification with certan types of music and specifically cult status of ceratin individuals as rock stars, and the clothing 'uniforms' associated with various subcultures.

they have their contemporaries still i admit but i think the younger cohort of society today has a much greater tendency to have their own opinion and devil may care what think others of it

so many people i know have taken their destiny and faith in their own success into their own hands

they have unhinged the reliance on peer approval or conformity to social norms.

older generations dived into certain political styles, lifetsyles, scenes and religions searching for the answers

but today people pick and choose their own culture lik tappas from across history. PLUR fits in somewhere her as a bridging point between the 20th century strategy and the 21st century startegy

This applies to drugs i think in a way that older people often see themsleves on one side or another , or see themselves in a place of responsibility within the confines of societal acceptance

they see themselves as too old for all that stuff and see their responsibility to safeguard the youth from their own curiosity

why else afer all this time is MDMA illegal????

it does far less physical harm than all the old guard of drugs, does not lead to non-functionality in society or antisocial tendencies, is not addictive, does not lead to unwanted pregnancies and so many other points

Our parents grew up and lived in a black and white world. gender,sex, race, religion, history, drugs, morality, transpersonal relations.

a few revolutionaries broke down some barriers but the makority still see and resist or unable to alter their core tendency to see things in black and white.

To them to do something that is illegal is either wrong or seen as a rebellion caused by some psychological problem - they might lable it a 'cry for help' or 'escapism'

"its my choice" doesnt compute

democracy and anarchy were championed by them but i dont think they were fully embraced. Somehow the rigid authority and 'not in front of the children' strategy of their parents and the admonishments by them eventually brought them back to heel as conservatives.

but for their kids who knew what they had been up to there is no such fallback. We know what they got up to - we have it on tape - and their conservative demeanor doesnt hide the sin of their youth or the hypocrisy of their middle age.

So for me taking drugs, and free love and exploring the nature of reality anew are nothing at all to do with rebellion. for me its about truth - and i think the truth is about love, exploration and smiles and mutual respect.

we can only rebel againts authority and if one accepts no authority there can be no rebellion, and if you accept no authority then nobody is qualified to teach and so nobody can have all the answers and so there ther can be no desire to belong - just the search for the truth

i think while the question on the mind of a parent who finds out their kid is taking drugs ( or exploring gender bending or religious studies or whatever) maybe how have i failed as a parent that my child seeks to be not normal

the required approcah is to join in an encourage discourse to try and understand where the kid is coming from and not so much why they took the drug but what they feel they gain from it.

Im interested Apothecary as you said your dad is muslim what he thinks about drugs, or has he not thought but rather been directed to belive certain things?

so far as i can alcohol and by extrapolatrion any drug that clods the sense are frowned upon by islam. however in contrast to say,pork, they are not forbidden or haram.

This has lead to interesting historical developments say in the acceptance of drugs like tobacco, khat, coffee and in some sections hashish into various islamic cultures.

I can certainly see arguments for alcohol being restricted but drugs like psilocybin and in particular mescaline and LSD could be strongly argued as being not in the same class as alcohol and not in fact 'clouding' the mind, but like khat and tobacco and coffee doing the opposite by making one hyper receptive to the whole and conscious of the need for benevolent action is society

[apothecary]

If it helps T, I used to know this guy who was around fifty, chemistry degree type guy, smoked every day since he was fifteen.

He seemed to have a pretty level head, owned his house (no mortgage) with his family of four, drove a kombi ( ), etc. Cool guy, I think he was diagnosed with depression or something, but it didn't seem very debilitating to me.

[apothecary]

I tried to talk about it once. I don't really get on too well with my Dad, but that's another story. There was some program on Hack (lol I got my father listening to triple j, because I told him it was abc radio ) about MDMA, and I brought up how the government wasn't allowing people to get their pills tested at that rave in Adelaide...

He started going off about a culture of inebriation and everything in moderation something something.

While these arguments might seem ok, I feel he kind of uses them as an excuse to just dismiss everything. Another one he has is "everything is relative".

Don't think I don't talk about what I'm saying here with him, I bring it up as often as I can but he pretty much ignores me whenever I'm saying something he doesn't agree with/doesn't want to hear coming from me.

Oh well. I try.