Jump to content
The Corroboree
Sign in to follow this  
wert

what are the benefits of wearing a tin foil hat?

Recommended Posts

Other than looking like a kinky kitchen get up, what are some other benefits of wearing a tin foil hat?

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, if you're really, really lucky, it will cover your eyes and you won't be able to read all the crazed rantings of bored people on the internet, and you'll live a much more relaxed and happier life.

Sorry for the rant, I just read a completely convinced statement from someone about 7 alien races doing something with water and light to create humans, and a bunch of other psychotic bollocks... Wish I had had a tin foil hat then...

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It makes you easy to spot in a crowd.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

or make into a pissweak pretend pirate sword, using some cardboard and bits of stickytape..

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Chicks dig it

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I tried to succesfully prevent myself from psycokineticaly opening the guy across the roads garage door. Every night when he would drive up his driveway my mind would open the door for him. In my frustration at my lack of control of my telekinetic power, i decided to make a foil hat. Fuckin useless!, didnt work at all!, even with the hat on his garage door continued to open when he drove up his driveway.

I also tried to watch the programs on chanels that display that fuzzy snow with the hat on and that didnt work either.

I think experimenting with lead might be the way to go but its that heavy i cant be fucked with it.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Contrary to myth, foil hats dont block brain waves.

You see, to act as a faraday cage and block the electromagnetic transmissions coming from our brains the foil hat must be grounded to pump the electrical impulses down into the earth where only the mole people will detect them, just like the wire mesh faraday cage around my DSL modem. To ground a foil hat one needs to connect a wire that runs down the back and both legs to metal plates on the soles of each shoe. This both-shoe thing is important because otherwise you'll strobe your thoughts as you walk. That could be bad. If your thinking "damn politicians, I cant believe they want to take away our guns, what will happen to our hunting, I should vote against that politician" a strobed thought would transmit "damn politicians... guns... hunting... politicians".

If the foil hat is not grounded at all it is still a conductor wrapped around your head. This could lead to embarrassing investigations. Say, for example, your walking with a hot girl and the two of you pass a cow. One side of your brain thinks sex, the other side thinks cow, and the ungrounded foil hat mixes them and broadcasts a desire for cow sex!

I know how warm the aussie summer can get, it should be useful to know that the wire mesh used as insect screens will block electromagnetic waves, for breathable faraday cage hats. Do not do this if you are radioactive, however. Gamma rays fit through the mesh. [The bug screen wire mesh is great for modems as well, I can still see all the blinky lights]

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I like to shape mine into a Fez. Sometimes a bowler hat. Just because i'm paranoid doesn't mean I compromise on style.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×