High Elf, High on Acid, Attacks Woman's BMW With a Sword

[Anodyne]

This is the best thing I've read all day, D&D games will never be the same again... "High elves"...bwahahah

High Elf, High on Acid, Attacks Woman's BMW With a Sword

McKane says that he and a group of like-minded friends had gathered near the park’s fountain to organize a fantasy battle filled with elaborate costumes and fake weaponry. He showed up wearing a sequined chain-mail vest, a leather kilt and a snowboarding helmet. He also came bearing an arsenal of weapons, including a hubcap shield, bamboo javelin, green lightsaber, machete, toy battle-ax and a master sword strapped to his back.

To enhance their live-action role-playing game, one of the participants broke out a stash of mind-altering substances.

“It’s not like I’m a drug addict or anything,” says McKane. “But whenever someone offers some to me, I’ll take them. I find that it’s pretty rude to refuse gifts.”

McKane gobbled up a potent cocktail of MDMA, Dimethyltryptamine and acid. “Moon Rocks, DMT and LSD—it was the trifecta!” he says. “Man, that shit’s pretty awesome. But don’t do it alone. Otherwise, you’ll end up wandering the streets on a weird spirit journey.”

Which is pretty much what happened. The drugs took hold and the game never quite got off the ground. McKane says the cops closed the park around 10 p.m. and he left to go dancing with friends. Later, he broke into a musician buddy’s practice space near the Hawthorne Bridge, where he spent the next several hours tripping balls and hanging out by himself.

By morning, McKane was channeling his Jaypar Prakkari character, fully immersed in a mission that could make sense only to a drug-addled LARPer. “I was here to save America,” he says. “In 10 days, Obama was going to be assassinated. Morgoth was chasing after me. I was chasing shadow dragons. It was crazy.”

At around 7 a.m., the weapon-wielding, hallucinating hero found himself at the intersection of Southeast Seventh Avenue and Morrison Street, where he decided to take on rush-hour traffic.

“I was walking down the yellow line in the middle of the road and jousting cars,” McKane says. “I was walking like I owned it, like I was a spaceship. People were honking horns and driving around me. Guys in trucks were being dicks. It was pretty fantastical. I was having great time.”

The fun ended when McKane found himself face-to-face with a red BMW, which he admits he mistook for a shape-shifting demon. The driver, a northeast Portland woman, had stopped in the middle of the road and was blasting her horn. A fearless McKane sprung into action.

“I hopped on her hood and tried to pierce her tires with my master sword,” he says. “I was trying to prove a point. Don’t mess with a dark elf.”

The freaked out driver called 911, and a swarm of police quickly arrived on scene and brought McKane under control. He was cited for criminal trespass, but not arrested, and was taken to Providence Portland Medical Center.

“Honestly, the cops were pretty nice,” McKane says. “Even the one who pointed a Taser at me. But they broke my master sword. I was so pissed!”

[Justin Credible]

LOL...takes roleplaying to a new lvl

[wert]

you should have seen what the universe gave me last time i was a knight in shining armor?

no police!

no elves!

no bullshit!

[DiscoStu]

"high elf"?

nah, just more humans and their delusions.

nothing more than a fragile animal trying to eek out an existence on a dying rock.

besides, this gives entheogens or whatever you want to call it yet another bad press release

"man i thought i was an elf on a quest to save obama!"

this does nothing for the cause.

“I hopped on her hood and tried to pierce her tires with my master sword,” he says. “I was trying to prove a point. Don’t mess with a dark elf.”

for real? not cool. not cool at all. what if he'd actually pierced flesh with that sword? we'd be hearing stories of "LSD causes murderous rampage" or whatever beat up shit the msm wants to spin.

honestly i think this dudes attitude is shit.

imo.

[Anodyne]

Yes, this article does draw some much-needed attention to the dangers of LARPing. Hopefully everyone reading this will learn their lesson and only trip indoors wearing sensible clothes so they are safe from strangers laughing at them.

[Getafix]

Good night out for sure...

Getafix

[quarterflesh]

Best night ever!!!

[Anodyne]

"The Trifecta Potion - add some extra dimensions to your games (also unlocks hidden character class: Machine Elf)"

[-RC-]

So THAT'S how I level up...

[botanika]

^{"But they broke my master sword. I was so pissed!”}

[Dreamwalker.]

where are the life points hidden?

Bit of a shame nobody stop to help him get off the middle of the road and into a safe place.........

Edited May 23, 2014 by Dreamwalker

[El Presidente Hillbillios]

where are the life points hidden?

Bit of a shame nobody stop to help him

I would have taken his spare battle axe and helped him to vanquish the bmw and Morgoth

[El Presidente Hillbillios]

Those cops may have doomed us all

[Getafix]

I just wanna get high on Elf.

Andrenachrome pfft. Eat your heart out Hunter S Thompson (RIP), Elfs where its at...

Getafix

[-YT-]

In one of the articles says he was reading Tolkein's - Silmarillion and apparently the bmw was morgoth/melkor saurons precursor and sugar daddy which obviously he had to smote!

Actually just finished reading said book quite a cool read although written in some what of a bland historical tone, the mythology is interesting.

[Slocombe]

nothing more than a fragile animal trying to eek out an existence on a dying rock.

Fuck that's depressing