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Funerals are like the last knife in the back of an already tattered heart

and after a krillion already ...I'm fkn sick of them

is it that bad a thing if you don't bother going?

and just I dnno, celebrate their life somehow , rather than get together to be sad and mourn them?

all that sadness energy ...and for hours that would probably feel like decades...and then folk drinking later? ick

is that worth not being resented all of your life for not going?

if I was the one who died, I'd be a lot happier on the other side if people didn't collectively feel awful

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Dunno. Depends entirely on the circumstance and what kind of relationship you had with the person.

I think only you will know what's right. Personally I consider it very important for people to be able grieve in their own manner, and if that doesn't involve attending a funeral, so what, this should be respected by others, and I would hope they would have the maturity to suspend judgement on that decision. I guess you just have to think about what is most appropriate for you. If putting yourself in that scenario would be particularly detrimental for your overall well-being and you don't want to go, I don't see why you should have to just to appease others and avoid resentment.

Then again, you never know. Some funerals can be quite celebratory, the last one I went to was a pure celebration of a life lived fully, and although it is painful to collectively mourn the loss of a special person, it can be really healing to let out all that built up energy too. Not every funeral will be awful. And you don't have to stay for the drinks afterwards if you do decide to go.

Hope you're doin okay. Sorry you seem to be faced with such a predicament :(

Cultural norms twist things and make difficult situations even more painful sometimes.

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thank you and I'm just gna try and be channelling it into making the things that haven't passed; thrive so I'll be good, no giving up ...

and with that ...I hope I can raise some spiritual smiles on the other side by doing well, and never forgetting..

I shall have to borrow that phrase " maturity to suspend judgement" for just in case, -wow , some words are as powerful as a sword, and I'll be sure to use them appropriately and only if necc..-

...since reading them myself, within a split second; i began to test myself for it and found a few more flaws than shd be

and with the way the words induced an immediate urge to "inner reflect", and make sure I conform to my own standards...

they'll be the right ones to use for sure..

Thank you kindly indeed for the reassuring ones too, and ..., I was just looking at some your pics about half a day ago..,

some awesome plants you have there and kitty is waay cute : ]

mine has been pretty much glued to me the last few weeks , funny how they sense things.

and lol I can tell it's not just the heat of the sun room she wants, she usually goes in the house at nght when it becomes cooler out here

but lately she stayed all nights too

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thank you and I'm just gna try and be channelling it into making the things that haven't passed; thrive so I'll be good, no giving up ...

and with that ...I hope I can raise some spiritual smiles on the other side by doing well, and never forgetting..

Good on you. I think this is a healthy approach to responding to such events. I think you'll raise smiles on the other side indeed :)

If anything, death should serve to remind us of the fragility of life and that such a precious entitlement can and will eventually be revoked, so our time spent here should be lived to the fullest.

It's great how kitties can be so empathetic huh :) ..little bundles of furry love warmth and infinite snuggles.

I have a name for the way cats heal their people, prompted by the way my cat sits on me and purrs: feline vibrational therapy

A while later I came across this - not sure how accurate it is, but leads me to think there's some substance to the idea of feline-healers:

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Take it easy man, whatever you need to do, and whatever you need to express - in any which way, go for it.

Hope the garden and the lovely puss-cat cheer you up in the coming weeks.

image.jpg

image.jpg

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I was in a situation recently where I had to attend a funeral, well, I thought I should. I really didn't want to go. I don't like them. I could have celebrated the persons life in my own way. ( &i have used this excuse a few time). But I realised something while thinking it through. This has nothing to do with me! It has to do with the mourning family. And if my presence has any positive on those closest to the deceased then that's what I will do. It was about getting over my own feelings of being uncomfortable at funerals - not making excuses and being a good friend to the people who are really suffering the loss of a loved one. So... I went, I cried, I ate lots of sandwiches then drank so much with my mates I hadn't seen in ages ( of which heaps turned up) then I traveled back home, interstate. Later my friend mentioned how much it meant to him that he had so many of his mates turn up. I know this particular friend will be a friend for life and this is just another moment we shared that strengthened out relationship.

This isn't really advice for the original poster as its probably too late ( sorry I don't know here to start spelling your name). But if you care at all about the grieving, at least show your face and they will know that when they are going through a shit time,they have friends who will be there for them.

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