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Scarecrow

a ramble/essay: me and my organs, chilling with the mushroom spirit

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I met the mushroom spirit today, and finally became aware of what's been going on. He has been doing what a mushroom does; growing, solidifying, making himself at home in whatever substrate he had been presented with. In this case, it seems that it's his energetic body at work here, and the substrate is my physical one. Unfortunately I have realized that my body is too fragile to host him any longer.

I have kindly asked him to leave, as his presence in my system now appears to be one of the many causes of my poor state of health. My body has begun to clear his energetic presence from my meridians, and he is not resisting my efforts to cleanse him from my system. However, I am not angry. I have learned much from this meeting. It it not the mushroom's fault that I am ill; I'm the real criminal here. I've been neglecting myself. Hell, I put the mushroom spirit there. Not that he's a bad guy.

After lying down for a while, and observing the cleaning process, I have realized that my organs all have their own lives, and personalities. They just go on, doing their thing, and I've been feeding them crap and smoke and drugs that they all have to deal with. In realizing this, and giving thanks to my own body (I'm especially grateful to my liver, who, as I write this, is hard at work scrubbing the mushroom spirit out of my blood), I feel like I've reconciled my errors to some degree, realizing my mistakes.

I have this feeling of having come home to a group of old friends that I've been neglecting until now. I look forward to hanging out with my best buddies, my organs.

Along with this feeling, I have come to realize a great sense of responsibility. I feel somewhat in charge, now that I have realized how helpless my friends, my organs, are to defend themselves from my stupidity. I must do what I can to keep the community that is my body peaceful and harmonious, by ensuring that it is needs are provided and well catered to. I must maintain order, such that no organs get angry and rebel against each other.

My organs must work together to produce a harmonious community, a kingdom even, and I must do my best to facilitate it.

And only once my kingdom has flourished, can I hope to provide support to help improve the dire circumstances that every other kingdoms is dealing with.

Dude.

Edited by Scarecrow
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Huh? The mushroom spirit did you damage???

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too much of anything isn't a good thing. i've been working on figuring out what mushrooms are doing in TCM terms... here are my notes from today;

tension around spleen?

tension around liver?

tension around shoulders

tension around lower back => kidneys

strange feeling around behind ears, to above jaw, (outer temples?) => GB channel

weakness of the limbs

third eye strange feeling

cold, tightening.

overall feeling of burden

feeling of swollfen left thumb palm (??)

on the comedown:

liver ache, working hard

kidneys feel achey tired pain, feels taxed

profuse, frequent urination

right side shoulder/back pain

joints cracking a lot

tension along right side of spine

i'm suspecting that it acts on the gallbladder channel, may cool the digestive system, taxes the kidneys...

i haven't figured this out yet, need to think about this some more when i'm sober. frequent use has definitely caused me trouble, combined with some other factors may have led to my "fibromyalgia".

does this count as too much information? i'm doing research here...

Edited by Scarecrow

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I really like this conclusion you have come to regarding the necessity of caring for all the different parts of yourself and the responsibility you have of supporting them to co-exist harmoniously -very true!

But don't forget that this caring and cultivation of harmony must extend into your mental, emotional, sexual and spiritual dimensions as well as physical!

..But like others, i'm a little confused what you mean about this mushroom spirit.

Care to elaborate? Do you think it has been with you for a long time? Or just a few days?

Is it possible that this energy is not really a mushroom spirit but a stagnant restless energy which has grown within you over such a long period of time that you became were strongly acclimatised to this energy and considered it your normal state of being, then recent experiences with fungi have alerted you to the fact that this energy is not you, and needs to be extracted from your system, and you may have perceived it as mushroom energy because fungi are at the forefront of your mind?

Edited by bogfrog
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I really like this conclusion you have come to regarding the necessity of caring for all the different parts of yourself and the responsibility you have of supporting them to co-exist harmoniously -very true!

But don't forget that this caring and cultivation of harmony must extend into your mental, emotional, sexual and spiritual dimensions as well as physical!

..But like others, i'm a little confused what you mean about this mushroom spirit.

Care to elaborate? Do you think it has been with you for a long time? Or just a few days?

It's been weighing me down for quite some time, nearly two years now. Incidentally, the sensation started during a trip, and then never left. It's definitely felt like something has been living in me, feeding off whatever small amount of nutrients I give myself. Despite eating plenty and having a relatively solid diet, I've lost a huge amount of weight, and muscle.

As for mental state, I've never really faltered there. Ever since I took up meditation, I've been increasingly more positive. I have never really let my illness bring me down. Likewise, I've been growing spiritually. As for sexuality, I've definitely gone through a more carnal phase. However, that's also come to a close lately, and I've become less and less driven by desires in general as I've grown spiritually and mentally.

 

Is it possible that this energy is not really a mushroom spirit but a stagnant restless energy which has grown within you over such a long period of time that you became were strongly acclimatised to this energy and considered it your normal state of being, then recent experiences with fungi have alerted you to the fact that this energy is not you, and needs to be extracted from your system, and you may have perceived it as mushroom energy because fungi are at the forefront of your mind?

That is definitely possible.

However, given the kicking onto my ass that mushrooms had given me not too long before this all started, and the fact that the the energy really felt like mycelium moving through my veins, I'm inclined to think that this was more of a hard whipping into shape.

My illness was a huge factor in me deciding to take up chinese medicine, and after many revelations about looking after myself, it's led to this experience. I'm thinking this may all have been one big lesson. A rough one, perhaps, but maybe that was the only way I'd ever get the message...

Plant teachers work in strange ways.

Edited by Scarecrow

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It's been weighing me down for quite some time, nearly two years now. Incidentally, the sensation started during a trip, and then never left. It's definitely felt like something has been living in me, feeding off whatever small amount of nutrients I give myself.

Sounds like you could benefit from some energy healing dude. I know many people think its just bullshit, but in your case i really think something like regular reiki treatments would be beneficial ... Even if its really only working as a placebo.

We weigh ourselves down in many ways, and it sounds to me like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Learning chinese medicine will undoubtedly help you in the long run but i dont think there's anything wrong with calling in some assistance to shake whatever this is off your back.

the energy really felt like mycelium moving through my veins, I'm inclined to think that this was more of a hard whipping into shape.My illness was a huge factor in me deciding to take up chinese medicine, and after many revelations about looking after myself, it's led to this experience. I'm thinking this may all have been one big lesson. A rough one, perhaps, but maybe that was the only way I'd ever get the message...Plant teachers work in strange ways.

Mycelium growing in your veins sounds like a horrible sensation. I had a friend draw what felt like battery acid out of my veins and out through my feet in a reiki treatment.

You can't argue with sensations like that eh, so if you truly feel its the mushroom spirit then i don't doubt you.

Whatever it is you are dealing with, i think you can take peace in the fact that you've got the message this time and that will empower you to take action on that which you know you need to do.

Our spirit knows what we need to do, and it will provide endless obstacles for us to overcome so we can reach our full potential. If we won't listen, spirit will need to SHOUT to wake us up.

Sounds like yours is shouting, and well done, you are listening :)

Edited by bogfrog
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It could all just be the good ol lactic acid building up because you ate more than your used too also ;) there is a bit of discomfort to deal with, and if your being naturally overcritical (anxious) during the trip then you'll be thinking the worst anyways... I recently heard a hilarious story off a good ol school tripper mate, where even he became beshroomed and called the ambos.

They'll show you when they are ready, not when you think you know!

(Ps dose and setting is everything! Squeezing a trip in while the kids are at school or wife is at work, and underestimating the handful will end terrible! Not assuming, just warming !)

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Ahh the kidneys. lol, gets me everytime.

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Sounds like you could benefit from some energy healing dude. I know many people think its just bullshit, but in your case i really think something like regular reiki treatments would be beneficial ... Even if its really only working as a placebo.

We weigh ourselves down in many ways, and it sounds to me like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Learning chinese medicine will undoubtedly help you in the long run but i dont think there's anything wrong with calling in some assistance to shake whatever this is off your back.

Mycelium growing in your veins sounds like a horrible sensation. I had a friend draw what felt like battery acid out of my veins and out through my feet in a reiki treatment.

You can't argue with sensations like that eh, so if you truly feel its the mushroom spirit then i don't doubt you.

Whatever it is you are dealing with, i think you can take peace in the fact that you've got the message this time and that will empower you to take action on that which you know you need to do.

Our spirit knows what we need to do, and it will provide endless obstacles for us to overcome so we can reach our full potential. If we won't listen, spirit will need to SHOUT to wake us up.

Sounds like yours is shouting, and well done, you are listening smile.png

Reiki: I'm open minded enough to try it. My main concern would be that finding a legitimate practitioner, rather than a fraud/deluded person, for such an intangible healing practice might be difficult. I have no way of knowing whether I'm wasting my money or not, and I don't really have money to waste at this stage.

As far as energy medicine in general goes though... chinese medicine and tai chi are my approach at the moment. I'm undergoing fairly regular acupuncture and cupping treatments, and practising moxabustion and tai chi at home, as well as taking regular doses of prescribed herbal brews. All of this seems to be helping a lot. I hope to learn Qigong once I've got a better foundation in tai chi.

And thank you for your concern and reassuring words smile.png

It could all just be the good ol lactic acid building up because you ate more than your used too also ;) there is a bit of discomfort to deal with, and if your being naturally overcritical (anxious) during the trip then you'll be thinking the worst anyways... I recently heard a hilarious story off a good ol school tripper mate, where even he became beshroomed and called the ambos.

They'll show you when they are ready, not when you think you know!

(Ps dose and setting is everything! Squeezing a trip in while the kids are at school or wife is at work, and underestimating the handful will end terrible! Not assuming, just warming !)

Dosage: naw, not likely. My bioassay was with only a quite small amount, because I know I shouldn't be pushing my limits right now. Hell, I didn't even finish the tea I made... I got about 2/3 of the way through it and then felt that something wasn't right, so I stopped. Lucky, too, because I was in a great amount of physical discomfort when it kicked in.

I was definitely not anxious during the trip, either. I can handle my altered states very well, and even during some fairly immense physical discomfort, I kept a clear head and simply applied what I knew about helping my body cope with something that it's rejecting. This led to my above revelations...

Ahh the kidneys. lol, gets me everytime.

everything fun seems to tax kidney's life essence D:

including most psychoactives... and sex sad.png

watch out for that fatigue and lower back pain folks...

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Perhaps you should be truly grateful to the mushroom spirit for revealing something you have been ignoring for too long. The mushroom spirit is also showing you how to cleanse your body. Be aware that the mushroom spirit is unlikely to leave just hide itself while you work your way to the next level. Self awareness of both mind and body is what the mushroom spirit reveals and you would ne wise to try not to expunge something so helpful, generous and wise (if somewhat cheeky at times!)

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In my own experience (we all seem to frame experiences in our own language), mushrooms create a strong immune response. I'm unsure if it's the psilocybin, or the fruiting body itself - but one or both seems to ramp up my immune system heavily, and misdirects its energy away from the usual defence (your immune system is working constantly to stop rogue bacteria [by number, you are made up of 91% bacteria] and keep you alive, it's not 'activated' once a blue moon when you get a cold). In the ensuing confusion, existing bacteria are left unchecked, and can do almost what they like for a few hours (On many occasions I've noticed my teeth feel under siege from plaque, my existing wounds are rapidly infected and more painful, as well as my skin becoming puffy, and my joints feel weird too). This effect is most strong from mushrooms, probably absent from LSD (from memory), and probably quite a lot weaker with cacti if it was there at all.
I cannot prove this is exactly what's happening (I would need to research how to measure immune system activity), but I think it could be proved/disproved if one had the means.

My guess is that your immune system as well as general metabolism needs to be strengthened, which you seem to agree to as well. I think that's your only problem. Luckily the body is insanely good at healing itself, and the mind is pretty good too. :)

Edited by CβL
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Perhaps you should be truly grateful to the mushroom spirit for revealing something you have been ignoring for too long. The mushroom spirit is also showing you how to cleanse your body. Be aware that the mushroom spirit is unlikely to leave just hide itself while you work your way to the next level. Self awareness of both mind and body is what the mushroom spirit reveals and you would ne wise to try not to expunge something so helpful, generous and wise (if somewhat cheeky at times!)

Oh, I'm grateful. No beef whatsoever here either... but I can't allow him to stay any longer. I've been starting to feel alarmingly close to death.

The mushroom has always given me connotations of a bit of a twisted way of thinking, also. I don't think it's the best idea to simply let it do as it pleases without at least questioning it. One thing I've heard often is that, as benevolent as spirits may appear to be, they often tend to have their own motives. It's best to be accepting and curious, but also have a strong will, and be well guarded.

I'm sure we'll meet again some day anyway...

 

In my own experience (we all seem to frame experiences in our own language), mushrooms create a strong immune response. I'm unsure if it's the psilocybin, or the fruiting body itself - but one or both seems to ramp up my immune system heavily, and misdirects its energy away from the usual defence (your immune system is working constantly to stop rogue bacteria [by number, you are made up of 91% bacteria] and keep you alive, it's not 'activated' once a blue moon when you get a cold). In the ensuing confusion, existing bacteria are left unchecked, and can do almost what they like for a few hours (On many occasions I've noticed my teeth feel under siege from plaque, my existing wounds are rapidly infected and more painful, as well as my skin becoming puffy, and my joints feel weird too). This effect is most strong from mushrooms, probably absent from LSD (from memory), and probably quite a lot weaker with cacti if it was there at all.

I cannot prove this is exactly what's happening (I would need to research how to measure immune system activity), but I think it could be proved/disproved if one had the means.

My guess is that your immune system as well as general metabolism needs to be strengthened, which you seem to agree to as well. I think that's your only problem. Luckily the body is insanely good at healing itself, and the mind is pretty good too. :)

This is a very interesting idea. It does seem that the biggest issue I had was an exascerbation of my symptoms, so it's possible you're right, at least from a western perspective.

In TCM terms, the fact that the mushroom seems to have a strongly cooling effect on the internal organs implies the same thing, as well as some other stuff. It would reduce the vigour of your immune response, slow the digestion, tighten the muscles, allow entry of exterior pathogens, etc.

But this doesn't change my thoughts on having too much of it! Too much cooling, especially in the middle of winter, can easily cripple your health. For these reasons I suspect that too much of the mushroom was one of the major factors that brought me into this condition to start with.

Furthermore, having noticed the powerful cooling effect, I started drinking some of my herbal medicine brew, which is very warming (to counteract my condition). There was an immediate improvement of my symptoms, and for the duration of the trip I continued drinking diluted cups of the brew. It helped immensely.

I think we're on to something here :D

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Just how often did you dose yourself and with how much at ech time?

uhhhh, like once every few days/nights for the majority of a whole winter and spring? dosage varied wildly.

that was before i had respect for this sort of thing (don't judge me xD). not really surprised it kicked my ass in the end.

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I don't know enough to say if it was indeed that particular spirit that has made you feel this way, but I love that you are grateful for your organs :)

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:)

I just read this and thought of you Scarecrow:

"I am old, older than thought in your species, which is itself fifty times older than your history. Though I have been on earth for ages I am from the stars. My home is no one planet, for many worlds scattered through the shining disc of the galaxy have conditions which allow my spores an opportunity for life. The mushroom which you see is the part of my body given to sex thrills and sun bathing, my true body is a fine network of fibers growing through the soil. These networks may cover acres and may have far more connections than the number in a human brain.

My mycelial network is nearly immortal, only the sudden toxification of a planet or the explosion of its parent star can wipe me out. By means impossible to explain because of certain misconceptions in your model of reality all my mycelial networks in the galaxy are in hyperlight communication through space and time.

The mycelial body is as fragile as a spiders web but the collective hypermind and memory is a vast historical archive of the career of evolving intelligence on many worlds in our spiral star swarm. Space, you see, is a vast ocean to those hardy life forms that have the ability to reproduce from spores, for spores are covered with the hardest organic substance known.

Across the aeons of time and space drift many spore forming life-forms in suspended animation for millions of years until contact is made with a suitable environment. Few such species are minded, only myself and my recently evolved near relatives have achieved the hyper-communication mode and memory capacity that makes us leading members in the community of galactic intelligence. How the hyper-communication mode operates is a secret which will not be lightly given to humans.

But the means should be obvious: it is the occurence of psilocybin and psilocin in the biosynthetic pathways of my living body that opens for me and my symbiots the vision screens to many worlds. You as an individual and Homo sapiens as a species are on the brink of the formation of a symbiotic relationship with my genetic material that will eventually carry humanity and earth into the galactic mainstream of the higher civilizations.

Since it is not easy for you to recognize other varieties of intelligence around you, your most advanced theories of politics and society have advanced only as far as the notion of collectivism. But beyond the cohesion of the members of a species into a single social organism there lie richer and even more baroque evolutionary possibilities. Symbiosis is one of these. Symbiosis is a relation of mutual dependence and positive benefits for both species involved.

Symbiotic relationships between myself and civilized forms of higher animals have been established many times and in many places throughout the long ages of my development. These relationships have been mutually useful; within my memory is the knowledge of hyperlight drive ships and how to build them. I will trade this knowledge for a free ticket to new worlds around suns younger and more stable than your own.

To secure an eternal existence down the long river of cosmic time, I again and again offer this agreement to higher beings and thereby have spread throughout the galaxy over the long millennia.

A mycelial network has no organs to move the world, no hands; but higher animals with manipulative abilities can become partners with the star knowledge within me and if they act in good faith, return both themselves and their humble mushroom teacher to the million worlds to which all citizens of our star-swarm are heir."

-terence mckenna, excerpt from Psilocybin: The Magic Mushroom Growers Guide

Edited by bogfrog
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So if you've been studying TCM you will know that the kidneys are strongly associated with winter and their function slows naturally at this time. Could it be (partially) that your awareness is now more attuned to your body after studying TCM and meditating ?

Also are there any other symptoms that can support your self diagnosis, such as tongue, skin, eyes or pulse ect. ? Your warming herbal drink seems to indicate that you could be on to something but it could mean a lack of liver heat too.

I'm not suggesting you are wrong but it's is easy to get a diagnosis wrong and many wouldn't consider a practitioner ready to make a diagnosis until they can take a pulse and interpret the results - an experienced TCM practitioner can tell more about someones health than a western GP with millions of dollars worth of diagnostic machines & pathology services at their disposal just by taking their pulse.

Maybe the mushrooms have actually saved your life by drawing your attention to your failing health and giving you time to act before it's too late.

Maybe when the seasons change and your liver "wakes up" things will improve

After saying all of that, if you feel that mushrooms are causing problems then by all means stop using them.

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I met the mushroom spirit today, and finally became aware of what's been going on. He has been doing what a mushroom does; growing, solidifying, making himself at home in whatever substrate he had been presented with. In this case, it seems that it's his energetic body at work here, and the substrate is my physical one. Unfortunately I have realized that my body is too fragile to host him any longer.

It's been weighing me down for quite some time, nearly two years now. Incidentally, the sensation started during a trip, and then never left. It's definitely felt like something has been living in me, feeding off whatever small amount of nutrients I give myself. Despite eating plenty and having a relatively solid diet, I've lost a huge amount of weight, and muscle.

Have you considered the possibility that you might have some more tangible kind of parasite/infection, like a tapeworm or something?

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So if you've been studying TCM you will know that the kidneys are strongly associated with winter and their function slows naturally at this time. Could it be (partially) that your awareness is now more attuned to your body after studying TCM and meditating ?

Also are there any other symptoms that can support your self diagnosis, such as tongue, skin, eyes or pulse ect. ? Your warming herbal drink seems to indicate that you could be on to something but it could mean a lack of liver heat too.

I'm not suggesting you are wrong but it's is easy to get a diagnosis wrong and many wouldn't consider a practitioner ready to make a diagnosis until they can take a pulse and interpret the results - an experienced TCM practitioner can tell more about someones health than a western GP with millions of dollars worth of diagnostic machines & pathology services at their disposal just by taking their pulse.

Maybe the mushrooms have actually saved your life by drawing your attention to your failing health and giving you time to act before it's too late.

Maybe when the seasons change and your liver "wakes up" things will improve

After saying all of that, if you feel that mushrooms are causing problems then by all means stop using them.

That might be why it's worse at this time of year, but I've definitely got a serious condition. Definitely not localized to the liver, either. I've been seeing people about this for around two years now, and I'm not self-diagnosing, despite having already done diagnosis (I don't want to be skewing my readings by having expectations); I have collapsing yang, deficient qi, and a deep invasion of cold.

My intention here was mainly to take note of the changes that occur after having taken some, to try and get an idea of the nature of the mushrooms in a TCM sense.

Don't get me wrong though, I'm by no means qualified to do this yet - which is why I'm not claiming anything definitive about it yet. I'm just making observations at the moment, and they're likely going to be skewed by my poor state of health. Once I've done herbs properly and improved my health, I'll be able to deepen my understanding and hopefully draw some conclusions.

 

Have you considered the possibility that you might have some more tangible kind of parasite/infection, like a tapeworm or something?

I've thought about it, but I would really hope that one of the many doctors I've seen would have picked up on that if it were the case. Any parasite in my gut would be suffering a hell of hot and warming and spicy foods and herbs though, so I can take solace in that at least.

Might consider doing a wormwood flush just in case.

 

:)

I just read this and thought of you Scarecrow:

[snip]

-terence mckenna, excerpt from Psilocybin: The Magic Mushroom Growers Guide

Terence McKenna, fascinating ideas as always. I wouldn't be surprised if he was correct, but I'd still be wary of trusting such a creature unconditionally. Just because it's a higher dimensional inter-galactic being, doesn't mean it hasn't got its own unstated motives.

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All of its motives are unstated until you discover them. It's not like they come with a sticker stating its a cuddly teddy!

I can see how you've come to all this health confusion after taking so many for so long. I don't think anybody would recommend that sort of habitual use, maybe once a week tops.

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Terence McKenna, fascinating ideas as always. I wouldn't be surprised if he was correct, but I'd still be wary of trusting such a creature unconditionally. Just because it's a higher dimensional inter-galactic being, doesn't mean it hasn't got its own unstated motives.

I put my faith 100% in the higher dimensional inter-galactic being, ;)

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