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The Corroboree

Australia the anal country...


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I was having a conversation with a bunch of expat friends the other night, some were from the UK, some american, some australian. We live in China, a so called backward police communist state. All good blokes and fairly well travelled. We were basically walking along the street with some beers in our hands and joked about how we probably would not be allowed to walk the street in australia with beers (I dunno maybe you can??). On the street are vendors selling ciggerettes, most likely without any licence and most likely without paying any tax. One bar we passed is basically a brothel. Foreigners quite openly smoke joints in some bars without being harassed. At any bar you can have a fag...the non smoking section is the 'other room'. Ride home on a moped without a helmet if you want. If you want to get some more grog after midnight no problem...24/7. Shops all open late. Streets full of color and life...and pretty girls wearing very little :)...and being friendly.

All this openess and relative 'freedom' and yet the streets are calm, life feels safer here than anywhere else in the world I have lived. The police are there but you don't really notice them. Behind the scenes things happen, but on a personal level they are geeks just like us. You feel you could easily have a chat with them. Security guards at airports are more involved with their mobile phones chatting away than acting like something from an american action movie. Not much happens at airports in China so they don't pass on rediculous airport security screening or 'attitude' like in the US and also australia. Occassionaly very cute girls 'massage' you down through the security check. You're carrying live turtles and crabs on board? No problem, just make sure they dont escape the bag. Hop on a plane and you can use your mobile as soon as it lands and up until take off. In australia I once accidently had my phone on and was treated like Bin Laden by the bitchy shouring air hostess. Hey its not my fault you didnt get lucky on the weekend.

At immigration once coming back into australia I handed my passport of ten years over. In ten years its been all over the world and within China I probably travel at least once every 2 weeks. It was in 'average' condition, definately not falling apart or invalid as a document. The guy says 'you wont get into america with your passport looking like this!!'. I say 'Im not going to america, Im entering australia'. 'America won't accept this!!'. 'Its up for renewal which I will do when back in China'. He again declares angrily and loudly 'America won't let you in with a passport in this condition'. 'Fine, Im not going to america'. By this time his loud 'shouting' had attracted some other immigration and security personel. It's 10am and I haven't slept...been on a plane 10 hours. Another lady charms in scoldingly 'Oh his passport is a little crumpled...he won't get into america'. '(FFS) I'm at Sydney airport? What's the deal I'm not going to america!!!! And if I do I will have a new passport by that time... my passport is still valid and everything readable...its not like I have been swimming with it!!'. Welcome back to australia boys and girls.

Anyway this all led onto discussions of being refused drinks in australia for being drunk when no alcohol had been consumed, getting asked for ID when you're 40, heavy handed police 'toughness' or intimidation or 'attitude', strict anti-smoking laws (fair enough to a degree), high fines for small offenses, increases in regulations coupled with more restrictions on many aspects of life. Tough drug laws and newspapers that still report 60 year old men growing a few cannabis plants like its a big deal. School teacher lecturing news anchors.

America was an interesting discussion because it's more varied in laws...some states being much harsher than australia, others far more progressive. Sometimes when I read/watch australian news or politics it carries a certain bickering and immature tone...a certain forced 'seriousness' and anal attitude. Then there's the full on political correctness enforced on everything.

We all agreed australia has changed a lot particularly in the last 10-15 years from the 'lucky country' to the 'anal country'. I really couldn't defend anything that was said. We are predominantly a european and asiatic country...so why this anal conservative american framework hatched over our roof? Or is it our own fault? We're so anal and depressive all we could come up with was 'aussie aussie aussie oi oi oi' for the 2000 olympics. What stupid commitee ever thought that shit up.

'I still call australia home'...but ya know...sometimes I actually don't...I miss the beaches and nature...but a lot of other things I don't at all. I hate to say it but sometimes Im actually embarassed to be australian when I used to be proud. Does that make sense?

Be good to hear some thoughts on this...I know Im generalising and a lot of things have improved in australia but still...

'australia...you're standing in it...'

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Yeah, I agree with you entirely. Having traveled a lot myself, I've also become acutely aware of how Australia (government, laws, police, airports, etc) straight up treats people like toddlers, because it doesn't seem to have anything else to stroke its ego with. "Border Security" anyone?

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What work are you doing in china bot?

I agree there are lots of things about Australian culture that embaress this shite out of me. Namely the blatant racism and homophobia, as well as the ideal that Australia is above and beyond every other country. The taking for granted what we have here, an the ideal that people from other country's/cultures don't deserve what we have. I used to enjoy the "mateship" and "hard yakka" culture of times gone by, but it appears to me that this is rapidly disappearing from our culture, where people are really out for themselves and are quite happy to sit back and watch others do the work. The "hard yakka" lifestyle seems now to be allocated to the more "lower class" citizens, while the social manipulators, and the knockers, back stabbers seem to be those that will get ahead in most aspects of Australian life. Ime.. Most Aussies are superficial c...s.

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Best rant EVER. Well, so far this year. Bring it on!

I particularly hate the anti-smokers who will attack you in any way they can, in the most disgustingly self-righteous manner. Also the anti-environmentalists, the aggressive alcohol swigging yobbos, the self-serving controllers who want to make the rules to bind us all, anyone who is anti-me basically. There are quite a few. And I'm a nice guy!

I think that whole "Lucky Country" thing lends people to mental laziness. That and beach baking, fryes yer braynes reel good.

The only thing I take exception to in your rant, please excuse me for this pedantry, but your spelling of the word "ridiculous". Can I take self-righteous offense at the basic illiteracy of most Aussies? Where I was brought up, back in the good old Kingdom United, we would never tolerate such heinous abuse of our graceful language :wink: .

Best thing to do when attacked by such self-righteousness is to laugh back. It's really great when they lose the plot, they are so helpless in their rage (except perhaps at airports, disdainfully looking down your nose might be more appropriate, if just to save your nether end some serious embarrassment).

Anyways, lucky you aren't going to America mate, cause you'd never get in with that old passport of yours.

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Wow that was a bitch and a half.. Venting lol tough day at work. I must admit though, I felt ALOT safe traveling alone in Asia, than what I do going to the local pub for dinner and a few beers.

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What work are you doing in china bot?

Design and planning...basically urban designing new cities and large parks. Its good work. I don't know what I'll do when I return to australia.

The only thing I take exception to in your rant, please excuse me for this pedantry, but your spelling of the word "ridiculous". Can I take self-righteous offense at the basic illiteracy of most Aussies? Where I was brought up, back in the good old Kingdom United, we would never tolerate such heinous abuse of our graceful language :wink: .

You got me...and I went to a private grammar school...but hey who needs english spelling in China? haha

BTW I was born in england...immigrated when I was 1 ;)

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Wow that was a bitch and a half.. Venting lol tough day at work. I must admit though, I felt ALOT safe traveling alone in Asia, than what I do going to the local pub for dinner and a few beers.

I have a suspicion that this is a direct result of being nannied all the time.

Everyone's being told what they can and can't do all the time, being forced to suppress things and act out of character, it's no wonder half the people you meet at the pub are fucking time bombs

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Wow that was a bitch and a half..

Was that at me? Yeah I'm having a rough time. At least I didn't have to deal with the airport idiots, that sounds unbelievable.

You got me...and I went to a private grammar school...but hey who needs english spelling in China? haha

BTW I was born in england...immigrated when I was 1 ;)

Haha you def. got the last laugh on this.

I must admit though, I felt ALOT safe traveling alone in Asia, than what I do going to the local pub for dinner and a few beers.

Same. Australia's not too bad though, I come from Birmingham which is way rougher than most of Sydney and the rural areas of Oz. Or at least, nowadays I get into less trouble.

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i love aussieland!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love the fucken time bomb to happen people in the pub!!!!!!!! i love how u can get work anywhere in the world to teach others ??? i love [most] the 100 + bakpackers that work on the farm!!! i love that most of the backerpakers WANNA LIVE HERE AND LOVE THIS FUCKEN COOL LAND :devil:

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oh man, i just heard on SBS they're trying to raise the legal drinking age too... as if we aren't treated like babies for long enough

[edit] "to combat binge drinking" and "young aggressive drinkers". right

 

I have a suspicion that this is a direct result of being nannied all the time.

Everyone's being told what they can and can't do all the time, being forced to suppress things and act out of character, it's no wonder half the people you meet at the pub are fucking time bombs

...their solution is to nanny us harder

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Nah ww I was having a bitch and a half ;)

Aussie land ain't that bad :)

It's good to go os and touch wood on how easy we have it here. I'm sure every country has its pros and cons, differing in each regional area you travel to. The Wild West is getting me down a little of late, I just need to raise the bar so to speak, or at least learn to accept people for who they are. Equal amounts in column a and column

B I would say. The political environment in aus at the moment is nothing short of adolescent though I believe.

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Aussie land ain't that bad :)

The political environment in aus at the moment is nothing short of adolescent though I believe.

Yeah the political stuff is unbelievable. It's more adolescent in parliament itself than outside though :wink: I can't believe some of the shit that the Liberals spout.

And labour are so retarded. The Greens so weak. And people still care about this shit, and it really is shit because it's all about money, and if ain't about money it's about control.

Ideals and morals are pretty short for these guys. It's actually a really sad thing how poor politics are here, Australia has so much potential, and none of that history to hold it back - all they do is play follow my leader to the rest of the west and piss about.

Some of the best work is done by the civil servants. They don't get a mention.

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fuk me !! i have read ya post three fuken times now '''bot'' sounds like u r having a good time,, aussie $$ helps!!!!!!!! why is it loads of asians, mideastern and others country folk wanna risk there lives coming here????????????

WE LIVE IN THE BEST PLACE ON EARTH

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fuck politics.

fuck what you think, about what you think you are where you are

this is planet earth

the only earth you know,

this is where we all are

one earth;

one love

we're all in this together

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Name the unelected leader who ousted a democratically elected prime minister with the help of the CIA

Wouldn't happen over here would it?

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