Sallubrious Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 Today I planted a few T.peruvianus in a spot that's been used as short cut by any bastard that is too lazy to walk around.I've planted them in a somewhat strategic location with a big enough gap for an adult (sober) to fit through.I've deliberately left the human sized gap as I intend to plant a nice looking little Opuntia between them.The idea at the heart of this twisted scheme goes something like this.The trespasser walks through the yard and spots a gap between two "spikey" looking cactus or (cactuses to them) with one small groin high innocuous looking thing between them that has cute looking "tufts" of something on it and thinks - well I'm already here and I don't want to walk the extra 10 metres to go around, I'll just step over that cute little thing. <___base_url___>/uploads/emoticons/default_ohmy.pngThe nice looking little Opuntia has very dense clusters of glochids and was estimated by the person I bought it from to have about 1000 glochids per tuft (areole)Fuck em if they can't take joke <___base_url___>/uploads/emoticons/default_devil.gif 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stillman Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 nice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waterboy 2.0 Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 no not evil, that would only be the case if you used elaborate trip wires to create deadfall traps out of peruv logs <___base_url___>/uploads/emoticons/default_newimprovedwinkonclear.gif 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonic Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 Ouch!!! Picking glochids out of the gonads could be quite painstaking. Literally Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amanito Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 That's very funny. Do you have a way to record this? I'd love to see some footage 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert&Ernie Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 sounds awesome mate would love to see a pic of it haha or a video like amanito suggested Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PositiveHAL Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 confirms what i've always thought, cactus people are twistedi love it!photos are a mustas for those opuntias with the glochids, ive seen nurseries market them as 'teddy bear plants' cause of the way they look. Caught me out good and proper, cant think of all the kids who grabbed handfuls of teddy bear Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErraneousHerbalist Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 Bwahaha! Not evil! Absolutely funny as! Also pics or it didn't happen~ ;) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amanito Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 extension with webcam and then recording with possibility to go back or movement detection. There must be free software for that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woof woof woof Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 getting glocids out can be done with hair removal strips. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Distracted Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 Expect one day to come out and see someone kicked/stomped your opuntia to death Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shortly Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 I hate to say it but now that you've put your intention out there its a legal nightmare.When does landscaping become a mantrap?? I don't want to be on the receiving end of that one.Better to just have a nicely landscaped patch & if some clumsy fool go's ass up you stand a better chance of defending yourself.Having said that, it could be a winner on funnest home videos Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nabraxas Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 my mum used a yucca plant for the same reason.it's big w/sharp points, so people don't even try to push past it, they go around like they're supposed to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sallubrious Posted May 24, 2012 Author Share Posted May 24, 2012 (edited) my mum used a yucca plant for the same reason.it's big w/sharp points, so people don't even try to push past it, they go around like they're supposed to. There's a big nasty Yukka right next to the cactus, so anyone trying to squeeze their way through will get some sort of "tickle"That fucking Yukka has stabbed me so many times, it's about time I shared the love. Edited May 25, 2012 by SallyD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
space cadet swami Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 brilliant... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fenris Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 Two thumbs up.I got rid of all my opuntia because my dog came to me looking very forlorn and asked for help removing the spikes from his mouth and feet after chunks were knocked off during a hale storm, which he stood on.Those fcukers were almost as long as a match stick with barbs on the end, once I had to use a pair of pliers to remove one from my palm as I couldn't grip hard enough with my fingers to overcome the barbs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cactuscarl Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Not a bad idea till someone notices your Peru stomps the opuntia to death and digs out the Peru 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CβL Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 I wouldn't use the word evil, but maybe something like "nefarious mastermind". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemisty Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 (edited) Some guy used to take a short cut past my bedroom window at night to get to another street ( I did find the occasional face mark on our windows aswel ) So one night I tapped a simple party popper to a downpipe, tied a bit of nylon fishing line to the little bit of string on the popper and tied the other end of the nylon to the fence opposite the house - so the trip wire goes right across the space between the house and the fence right by me window. Sure enough one night I get woken up by the BANG! it worked amazingly well, I had no expectation of it working.From fast asleep to being pumped full of adrenaline in the space of 3.4 seconds I jumped out of bed grabbed me machette and gun it out the side door after the c*nt. He was 20m down the road already but when he turned, saw me half nude with the machette he quickly transformed into Usain Bolt and gunned it into the night. My parents thought it was hilarious the next morning. We built a proper fence shorlty after and he never came back. Edited May 25, 2012 by Nemesis 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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