Jump to content
The Corroboree

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Ethos

Centrelink Stupidity

Recommended Posts

you really have to pump out a illegitimate kid or two to make the system work for you

 

Don't forget that kids are actually a lot of work and cost a lot of money if you look after them properly...so be sure to neglect them by feeding them cat food and letting the telly babysit them while you go out and get hammered every night.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Would it be okay to forge the signature on the separation certificate ? Because swim doesnt want to face their old employer ,but needs some cash fairly soon..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Err. I believe that would considered fraud, even if the facts are accurate. If they check with the employer for some reason, I think it would be bad.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Would it be okay to forge the signature on the separation certificate ? Because swim doesnt want to face their old employer ,but needs some cash fairly soon..

 

Dude, you'll be back paid from the day you contact centerlink. So just contact them on Monday then get that separation certificate (absolutely vital) whichever way you can. You can claim you've been fired and the boss is refusing to give you one, but that's a huge stuff around. They do also sometimes ring the employer, in answer to your question.

Peace

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dude, you'll be back paid from the day you contact centerlink.

 

...if they feel like it. One time, I was sent the wrong forms, and they were the ones I was told to fill in by the guy I spoke to. Then I got told I filled in the wrong form and got sent the right ones, but they refused to back-pay me to the original call and used the call from which I got the right info and forms, which was weeks later after all the rigmarole.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Don't forget that kids are actually a lot of work and cost a lot of money if you look after them properly...so be sure to neglect them by feeding them cat food and letting the telly babysit them while you go out and get hammered every night.

 

theoretically a kid is exactly the same expense regardless of $625 per week earned via centrelink, via 9-5 work or via selling old cars, neglect is a social security issue and is not related in any way to somebody's core occupation or how they get their money.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

theoretically a kid is exactly the same expense regardless of $625 per week earned via centrelink, via 9-5 work or via selling old cars, neglect is a social security issue and is not related in any way to somebody's core occupation or how they get their money.

 

I don't get your point :scratchhead: I thought we were brainstorming ways to maximise the profitability of being a dole bludger.

EDIT: Besides, I thought social security is exactly what we were talking about :scratchhead:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Also I might add, the trick to dealing with centerlink is to just be extremely dramatic and demanding. The minute you start being calm and polite with them is the minute they'll just stuff you around and go sort out someone who is being demanding and ranting on to them about how he hasn't slept in weeks and how he's going to starve and be evicted if he doesn't get paid.

Like that show shameless. Frank (the dad) needs to deal with welfare, so he just rocks up there with a can of petrol and holds it over he's head, then lights he's lighter up and starts screaming that he's going to light himself up if he doesn't get paid, lol. Best tv scene ever! Obviously you probably wouldn't want to go that far, but you really do need to make a scene with them in my experience.

Peace

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

ah i put social security, edit meant social services two totally seperate (but connected) entities. nah i didnt mean it as a freeloading type FAQ for degenerates although i dont see anything wrong with that because under law if you have a right to claim well then the sky is the limit, however i suppose that is a bit un-ethical, but then again its not un-ethical for the CEO's of major corporations to earn 10-20million a year of your and their employees money and work and its not un-ethical (dictated by society) for super-annuation fund managers to steal your money legally, so in comparison i would love to turn this into a rort the system thread but i wont. having said that it is possible for 1 person on centrelink benifits to claim $80000 per year tax free, legal and legit given the wright (or wrong circumstances)

there is a thought process that centrelink comes down hard on those they catch, not any harder though than any other member of society that frauds..and your only talking about fraud here. simply you plead guilty, avoid the harder wrap and they make you pay back $50 bucks a week for the next 20 years or whatever it takes to pay it back, in that time you could probably wipe the slate clean and go bankrupt anyway and start life on a clean slate. the odds are tiny getting caught anyway regardless what they say, they prosecute 2000 people max per year out of the probable 2 million at least who claim benifits, what is that a 1/1000 chance of being caught. not very scary odds. that would be like putting a dollar on reece palmer to win the brownlow- will never happen.

your comment looked like to me ballzac you were saying centrelinkers were at a higher risk of child abuse, but when i read it back it looks like its a direct response to me telling 16 year olds to get preggo for the cash, which is not what i meant. what i meant was that from outside the single parent circle it looks like its a tough gig but from within that circle ill think you will find this couldnt be further from the truth. the truth is.....come get your money on a silver platter.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Also I might add, the trick to dealing with centerlink is to just be extremely dramatic and demanding. The minute you start being calm and polite with them is the minute they'll just stuff you around and go sort out someone who is being demanding and ranting on to them about how he hasn't slept in weeks and how he's going to starve and be evicted if he doesn't get paid.

Like that show shameless. Frank (the dad) needs to deal with welfare, so he just rocks up there with a can of petrol and holds it over he's head, then lights he's lighter up and starts screaming that he's going to light himself up if he doesn't get paid, lol. Best tv scene ever! Obviously you probably wouldn't want to go that far, but you really do need to make a scene with them in my experience.

Peace

 

What I had the best success with is simply refusing to leave until you get what you're entitled to, whether it be payments that they've fucked up on, or something else. They'll get sick of you eventually and cave in. If you need to talk on the phone, be polite because they are allowed to hang up on you if they consider your call abusive. Just be polite, ask to speak to a supervisor, and don't let the conversation with the supervisor end until you have what you want.

ah i put social security, edit meant social services two totally seperate (but connected) entities. nah i didnt mean it as a freeloading type FAQ for degenerates although i dont see anything wrong with that because under law if you have a right to claim well then the sky is the limit, however i suppose that is a bit un-ethical, but then again its not un-ethical for the CEO's of major corporations to earn 10-20million a year of your and their employees money and work and its not un-ethical (dictated by society) for super-annuation fund managers to steal your money legally, so in comparison i would love to turn this into a rort the system thread but i wont. having said that it is possible for 1 person on centrelink benifits to claim $80000 per year tax free, legal and legit given the wright (or wrong circumstances)

there is a thought process that centrelink comes down hard on those they catch, not any harder though than any other member of society that frauds..and your only talking about fraud here. simply you plead guilty, avoid the harder wrap and they make you pay back $50 bucks a week for the next 20 years or whatever it takes to pay it back, in that time you could probably wipe the slate clean and go bankrupt anyway and start life on a clean slate. the odds are tiny getting caught anyway regardless what they say, they prosecute 2000 people max per year out of the probable 2 million at least who claim benifits, what is that a 1/1000 chance of being caught. not very scary odds. that would be like putting a dollar on reece palmer to win the brownlow- will never happen.

your comment looked like to me ballzac you were saying centrelinkers were at a higher risk of child abuse, but when i read it back it looks like its a direct response to me telling 16 year olds to get preggo for the cash, which is not what i meant. what i meant was that from outside the single parent circle it looks like its a tough gig but from within that circle ill think you will find this couldnt be further from the truth. the truth is.....come get your money on a silver platter.

 

ahhh, got it :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

×